There Are Other Fish in the Virtual Aquarium

December 23rd, 2015

I’ve been putting off writing an update about the guy I met for several reasons. I am confused. I’m not sure how I feel, but I suspect there’s not as much potential as I originally thought or as I’d like there to be. It would be so nice to finally be dating someone again. Except when I miss how much time I had to myself when I didn’t have to work another person into my schedule and before I was spending so much time talking to someone.

He’s not a terrible person, we’re just incompatible in ways that are more than likely deal breakers. And this is certainly exacerbated by changes I’ve made over the several years — becoming more liberal leaning, identifying as a feminist and focusing on sex and how I can help others around me better enjoy their sexuality. This manifests itself in ways, perhaps small, but that I cannot help but notice.

For instance, I flinched when he used the word “whore” in a casual sense to describe something he’s a big fan of. I awkwardly replied about how we shouldn’t refer to sex workers like that, but it wasn’t eloquent enough. I let it be. What am I going to do, start a conversation about the trials and tribulations that people like Perth escorts have suffered through? Do I start a conversation filled with facts and stories from the latest Best Sex Writing anthology I’ve read?

You can bet that I would do this with certain people, but I think I realize deep down that it’s not worth the effort with this guy. We might wind up as friends, but certainly nothing more. Perhaps at some point my opinion on sex work and the rights that sex workers should — but typically don’t — have will come to light… only as friends. But there’s an awkward lack of discussion and thoughtfulness at this stage and the mention of Brisbane escorts wouldn’t help any.

It hasn’t all been a loss, however. It’s definitely interesting to learn how I interact with new people after developing a stronger sense of self. Seeing how I represent myself is satisfying, reassuring even. I am presenting myself the way I want to be seen, as the person who I know myself to be.

And adding another notch to my bedpost, going on some successful dates and breaking out my flirting skills reminds me that I’m alive, that people can desire me and that maybe dating isn’t as difficult as I thought it was in the first place.

 


One Comment to “There Are Other Fish in the Virtual Aquarium”

  • Eddy Z says:

    Great post, and sorry to hear that this gentleman isn’t working out but at least you know it well in advance and are not gonna drag it out for his and especially your sake. Continue staying true to yourself and don’t let anyone come between what you want or enjoy. Have a blessed day!

Leave a Reply