2013 in Review

January 5th, 2014

This might be the third year in a row that I’ve posted a best of list. I figured I wouldn’t just do the wonderful toys but provide you with some of the strange and disappointing, too.  I’ll have to fudge the lines of “this year” a bit. I must have written last year’s a little early because there were two reviews in December 2012 that didn’t make it on the list. I waited until January for this post because I really wanted to get one last review in, so let’s start there.

D.1 stone dildo

D.1 stone dildo

I liked the design but expected the Ceramix Pleasure Pottery Dildo No. 4 to be a gimmick with its hollow inside for warm. But warming this dildo up far surpassed my expectations. It’s one of the few dildos that I’ve ever used twice, and I think that says a lot.

I’ve been pimping out the Jimmyjane Form 6 G3 all this year even though it was one of those reviews from late last year. The latest version if powerful, versatile and feels luxurious. It’s the first Jimmyjane vibe that I actually like. Maybe it won’t be the last. My review was on the EF, though, so I’ll probably get around to writing something up on OSAL for you to read.

The Delight by Fun Factory was actually my second. I swapped for one of the originals — the ones that came with a charging case — but never got around to using it. When I moved last year, I misplaced the cable. I wound up trying out the Delight for shape to see if I liked it, and I did like it so much that I purchased the new Click n Charge style. Not only do I love the magenta and black, but it fits my anatomy extremely well.

The Decor Stashe Pillow in Velvish Aubergine won’t get me off but it will hide everything that does and in style.

After using the D.1 stone dildo, I have to say that this blows every metal dildo I’ve ever used out of the water. I am so grateful to have the opportunity to use it and see myself using it frequently in the future.

Another new type of toy was the Stronic Eins Pulsator, which has made its way around many of these lists. It feels good. I just need to wash off all that lint, charge it and use it again (and again and again). This was also my first video review, you guys!

Finally, I cannot tell you how much I love my SHE AfterShave Oil. I could show you the nearly-empty bottle, though. I definitely need to purchase another one.

So, there’s the good.

How about the weird? Strange? Disappointing? Ridiculous?

  • Cat toy or vibrator?

    Cat toy or vibrator?

    The Sonic Revel Body. Cool tech, totally not going to get me off. And those attachments? WTF!

  • This costume from ILoveSexy just didn’t cut it. I mean, I kinda hate the cut.
  • The Revive Energy isn’t terrible but they needed to test the storage pouch, first. Now, mine looks like a sick leopard.
  • Ovo looked like a promising brand, but the kegel balls fucking hurt. The t1 didn’t hurt. It just sucked.
  • I got 2 Gigi 2s. I am giving both away. Meh.
  • I’m not sure that this UFO vibrator works for me.. or anyone.
  • The U Touch Down and U Touch Up just need.. to be better.
  • These “keyless cuffs” are so not practical.
  • This vibrator looks like a cat toy. Pretty sure the cat toy would get me off better.
  • Icicles 39 Handle Broken From Shaft


    Why the fuck are companies still making these pieces of shit?

  • I’d rather fuck the actual Flash, and he’s my least favorite of the Justice League.
  • But, hey, at least it’s better than vibrating vaginal balls.
  • Minna Ola is the most overrated, over-hyped, overpriced piece of junk I’ve used.. until the Revel Sonic.
  • Remember when that glass dildo broke before I even had a chance to use it?

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What Sex Toy Retailers Can Learn from the EdenFantasys Scandal

October 13th, 2013

Let me preface this article by explaining which scandal I am talking about because there are many. EdenFantasy has been doing wrong by employees, clients, manufacturers and reviewers for years. But several months ago, the owner “discovered” there was barely enough revenue left to keep the company afloat. He fire all the employees and shut down all the clubs and programs, including Sexis and EdenCafe, that had been going on. He, then, decided to cut how many points — points that contributors had earned — that contributors could put toward their orders. This resulted in a strange “point consideration proposal” by Fred who literally and liberally berated the community for abusing the system that he had championed for years.

I quote:

You will be asked to submit a reconsideration request. It is optional. If you chose not to participate, your points will remain as they are now.
We review the submission manually and decide whether your points will be restored or completely erased.

All your points (or converted Gift Cards) will be cancelled and removed if company finds that you accumulated 500 points or more by intentionally abusing the system.

EdenFantasys is not a store you an trust!

Around this time, many products were “discontinued.” Reviews and orders were being canceled left and right. Some, mind included, took months to get out. Anyone who wanted to buy something was hard-pressed to do so. Affiliates who had reached their payouts were not — and some still haven’t been, 5 months later — paid. During this whole thing, Fred refused, and then denied when I brought it up, to discuss or admit the state of the company. He banned many contributors and limited the accounts of others, myself included. However, many of the previous employees began to speak up about how this was just the cherry on top of the shit sundae.

Reviewers and shoppers who wised up by reading posts like mine left in droves, many opening up a blog for the very first time. Others took to Twitter and other review/affiliate programs in light of Fred/EdenFantasys’ policies.  SheVibe opened their own forum.

There’s no doubt that it’s a ridiculous scandal and one that could have been completely avoided. It hurt the company and left the community scarred and fragmented, but that’s not all there is to it. Eden’s fallacies are absolutely a lesson that other companies can — and should — learn from. This is far from a cohesive list, so I encourage you to add your thoughts in the comments. I may even add them to this post. The scary part is how many of these facts are simply common sense.

Business Management

  • Don’t turn a blind eye to things like the bills. They don’t go away. Quite the opposite. They pile up, and you ruin your reputation with consumers, manufacturers and other companies with whom you have a relationship. When it gets to the point that the company needs to be shut down or sold immediately because you ignored or tried to deny away the problem for months or even years, there’s no one to blame but yourself.
  • Yes, you have to spend money to make money. No, you shouldn’t spend thousands or millions of dollars on projects that don’t bring in money and ultimately bleed the company dry. Yes, working with bloggers can yield positive results. No, it shouldn’t be your only end game.
  • Don’t blame the customers for your bad business practices. This falls under the “there’s no one to blame but you” category, but I’ll talk about it more anyway. Don’t blame customers for taking advantage of programs or sales that you created.
  • It’s such a sleazy thing to base your business on the idea that you will make deals with others. That you will slip them something a little extra under the table or that you’ll bow to their demands to appease them, especially if you’re hurting your customer in the process.
  • Don’t try to do it all. Even if you have the best of intentions, you can’t do it all. You just can’t. Determine what you can do and do it well rather than spreading yourself too thin. Otherwise, you wind up starting clubs and giveaways and blogger outreach. The best case scenario is that it works with a few hiccups or that it doesn’t, and you can gracefully back out. Sometimes people will understand. On the other hand, if you don’t realize that you’re setting yourself up for failure, you might make a bunch of promises that you can’t deliver on, which may result in some unhappy customers.
  • Treat your employees well because they are what make your company run. They may be the face that customers see. They have the power to testify against you in court and to tell your dirty little secrets.


  • When you reward your contributors for listing pros and cons about things, they’ll do the same for your company. It’s not about bloggers, it’s about pissing off vocal people. And bloggers will talk — even Metis Black mentioned how quickly the network works a CatalystCon West —  partly because we like to talk to begin with, but it’s more than that. I feel as though I owe readers the truth, whether it’s about a a toy or a company. I feel an obligation to tell buyers that a company isn’t reputable. As a blogger, I feel a sense of community with my fellow bloggers, and I want to help protect them from companies that will take advantage of them. So it’s my job to talk about it on this blog, on Twitter, on Tumblr, on Facebook or on your forum. Wherever I can talk about what you did wrong, I will. It’s not about you. It’s not petty vengeance. It’s about raising awareness of wrongdoing.
  • This leads me to my next point: don’t lie. The truth always comes out. Either you wind up telling bigger lies to cover up the succession of untruths, you get caught in the act or you wrong a person whom you trusted with your secret, and the truth comes out. The truth always comes out. Can you deal with that?
  • People don’t react to change well, especially not if it’s sudden. Yes, you may have to change the focus or programs that your company has. If you do it all at once, people will complain because they’ve become accustomed to a certain lifestyle. You can attempt to smooth things over by explaining why you have to change, and even though you don’t have to explain how your company works or what you’re doing, a little transparency goes a long way. When you start lying, even if it’s just by having shady practices, people stop trusting you.

And that trust? Yea, it’s kind of important when you use marketing campaigns about how people can trust you.



The Most Disappointing Sex Toys I’ve Used

September 27th, 2013

Not all of the reviews that I write are positive, and I don’t make any apologies for that. I’ve used some great toys that just didn’t fit my anatomy, and many, many toys are beautiful, but just won’t cut it when it comes down to it. There’s almost nothing worse than drooling over a toy, especially an expensive one, and realizing that I hate it. But it’s worse for consumers like you, who spend your hard-earned money without the steep discounts that I get as a reviewer.

So let me help you avoid the same mistakes I’ve made by compiling this list of toys that I just can’t recommend; in fact, I don’t want you to have your heart broken just a little like mine was.


  • bbold-premium[1]I don’t know what the hell was the problem with my Mimi. Either it was defective, or everyone who liked it was batshit crazy. Now, I don’t want to insult all my readers, but we were not having the same experience at al. So I let my cat chew on my Mimi before trading it away. Just kidding. I can’t control those pussies.
  • I have disliked almost all of the Jimmyjane vibrators I’ve used, and the Form 2 was no exception. From weak, buzzy vibrations to breaking randomly, it as all bad.
  • There was so much buzz about the iRide. It wasn’t intended for human use at all.
  • Minna Ola uses technology that sounds so intriguing but is freakin’ frustrating to use in reality. I spend a bit of money on this G-spot vibrator, and now it’s sitting in a drawer.
  • Bbold Premium is gorgeous, and I’ve always liked BSwish as a company. However, almost all of the vibes — especially the rechargeable ones — are stupidly weak.

Try this instead: Form 6, Mona 2, Delight


  • I haven’t liked a single toy from Tantus. I don’t understand it, but the Splish was among the worst. I should have paid more attention to the specs, yes, but there’s not a single reason for a dildo to be the size of a pinky finger like this was.
  • Tantus Delta was flexible as fuck. Eww.
  • And the Alumina Revolve? sort of pretty. Totally disappointing.
  • Don’t even get me started on the Pure Wand.
  • Icicles Number 39 was gorgeous. I think I could have loved if.. If it didn’t break before I even got to use it. I don’t want to say that you shouldn’t try Pipedreams glass, but this gives me serious misgivings about the entire line.

Icicles 39 Handle Broken From Shaft

Try this instead: Tex, Twist, 24K double pleasure, Fun Wand


  • The Cake Body Butter smelled like shit. Well, not quite. It was rancid.
  • And Lelo’s massage candle smelled okay but was terrible when it came to massage.
  • Lelo Luna Beads were all hyped up. I don’t think that there’s any point to multiple weights in kegel balls.

Try this instead: K-balls, Pink Cupcake lotion, Shunga Apple massage oil, Contour M massage stone, Oil of Love: Raspberry Kiss,


  • Material Girl Fetish Fantasy dress was too small and unflattering in so many ways. The lack of adjust-ability was also terrible. It was pretty ridiculous.

Try this instead: Kissable Leopard babydoll, Sheer Pleasure Chemise, Raspberry fields babydoll 


  • Sasha Pouch and GartersThe Touch of Fur rabbit flogger actually came apart when I used it. I sewed it back together by hand because I fuckin’ love the feel of it.
  • The Crystal Whip by liberator is attractive and versatile, but it’s also cheap quality wise. Rhinestones fell off. I think I superglued one back together.
  • Finally, the Sasha harness looked cool but didn’t fit in a flattering way. It was one of the biggest bummers ever.

Try this instead: Wartenberg wheel, Under the bed restraints,

What vibrators, dildos or lingerie have left you wanting more? What’s the biggest disappointment in your life and how much did it cost?



The Number of Orgasms Doesn’t Count

September 8th, 2013

It’s been a while since I’ve written something other than a review or personal experience on here. It’s been a while since I’ve felt so passionate about something that I felt like I should write it, even if someone else had already written about it or, even worse, written about it better. But here it is.

The Number of Orgasms Doesn’t Count

Read it a second time. Maybe in italic.

The Number of Orgasms Doesn’t Count

Orgasms are, generally, good. For more heterosexual sex, the man’s orgasm indicates the end of a session. The ability to finally attain orgasm is a big deal for many people, especially women. I understand. I like having orgasms. I wouldn’t last long in a sexual relationship with a person who didn’t care whether I was having any orgasms or who left them completely up to me without any (oral) assistance.

...orgasm is a sincere gift from GOD.But, and this is a big but, sex shouldn’t necessarily lead to orgasm. That is, orgasm shouldn’t be the only goal. When you’re focused on getting off, your sex can become mechanical. Your eye is on the finish line, and you miss out on the journey. Now, this doesn’t always happen, but I frequently find that if you focus on enjoying the moment and feeling good over where you’re going, you’ll feel like your time’s well spent, even if you don’t get off.

Furthermore, focusing on achieving orgasm is the very thing that makes some people unable to orgasm. I notice that when I sufficiently distract my mind, I get off quicker and better.

I have literally had sex where I’ve had multiple orgasms, and it was unenjoyable overall. I’ve also had sex where I just didn’t manage to orgasm, but it was pretty much amazing. It felt more toe-curling, tear-inducing and intimate than sex where I achieved orgasm multiple times. I think, for some people, this doesn’t compute. They associate orgasms with pleasure. The more orgasms, the greater the pleasure except..

It’s just not true.

You can still feel pleasure without orgasm. Sex can be intimate. It can be rough. It can be carnal. It can teach you about yourself or your partner. It can just be a fun time — and all without orgasm.

And if either you or your partner is having difficulty achieving orgasm, the added pressure may just not be worth it.

Maybe someone will read this and something will click. Maybe they’ll stop pressuring their partner to cum or blaming themselves for their inability to bring their partner to orgasm an arbitrary number of times. Perhaps someone who has felt guilty over their inability to orgasm. Maybe you’ll let go long enough to just enjoy the moment. Because there are so many moments to enjoy and so many ways to enjoy them. Orgasm is not the only way.


5 Lubes I Totally Recommend

July 22nd, 2013

Lube is lube, you know? Most people pick something from the pharmacy and run with it, no matter how awful it was. I used to be one of those people. I know. What I have discovered as a sex toy reviewer and blogger is this: I do not like writing lube reviews. Some of them are terrible. Many of them are just a little bit different from the next one. Most of them do the job without complaint. Few stand out. Even trying to make this list in my head was a little difficult because lubes tend to blend together in my memory. However, a few lubes have stood out from the bunch.

  1. System Jo Premium Women Lubricant
    The only silicone-based lube on this list is by System Jo. I’ve liked several of their products, but this one stands out. Silicone lube feels, to me, like wearing a plastic bag. It’s how a condom feels to men. I hate it. Add in incompatibility with so many of my toys and the general thinness, and it’s out. System Jo Premium is thicker than most silicone lubes, and it’ll last you forever if using for penetrative sex. It can also double as a massage glide.
  2. sliquid lube cubeWet Naturals Beautifully Bare
    The thing about lubes is that they’re not made from my body, and I can feel the difference. I hate it, to be perfect honest. So when I tried this lube from a company that I didn’t think was necessarily spectacular, I was surprised to note that it does feel like more of my own lubrication, at least in the water-based formula. Just don’t confuse the silicone lube and ruin your favorite VixSkin toy, guys.
  3. Maximus
    This is the go-to lube for anal lovers. It’s thick and long lasting. It’s compatible with silicone toys. Unlike most water-based lubes, it isn’t sticky. Once I tried it, I understood why everyone loved it.
  4. Frolic
    While I enjoy thicker lubes, I don’t want them to be solid. They need to come easily out of the bottle. I shouldn’t have to feel like I’m forcing a solid into my vagina. I’ve had that exact experience, so don’t think that I am exaggerating in the least. Frolic has a handy pump bottle that has a cover to lock it. It’s thick enough to stay in place but thin enough to spread, and it’s affordable.
  5. Sliquid Naturals Lube Cube
    Sliquid’s Lube Cube isn’t one lube, but it’s this awesome sampler pack that lets you try various flavors and formulas. The sweet flavors are the best I’ve ever tasted, and most people love Sliquid lube. The company actually makes four different cube options, but I reviews Sliquid Naturals.

What are your favorite lubes for activities like toy play? Vaginal and anal sex? Massage? Let us know in the comments!




The Best Alternatives to EdenFantasys Affiliate Program

June 7th, 2013

While this isn’t my job, I make a few dollars here and there, and I’m incredibly grateful for the opportunities that I’ve found. If you want to be a reviewer, blogger or affiliate shop owner and don’t know where to stop, then this post is for you!

My most profitable affiliate programs are SexToy.com, Babeland and Good Vibes — in that order. I also use Adam and Eve and PinkCherry (Canadian).

  1. Babeland offers 20% commissions, a full product feed, text and banner links and the website has a limited but high-quality product selection. You must sign up at PepperJam and join the Babeland advertiser campaign. If your site isn’t approved, you can contact Samantha, the affiliate team leader.
  2. SexToy.com has been my most successful affiliate endeavor, and this is likely due to the fact that the prices are drop-dead cheap and you get to have your own store. Mine’s located on a subdomain on my domain, which is pretty awesome. You can customize to your heart’s content, offer coupons to entice visitors — right now, you can save $25 off $100 to celebrate my birthday! — and commissions up to 25% are available based on performance. There’s no referral sign up, but this link will get you started.
  3. GoodVibes has rebooted their affiliate program a time or two but despite minimal effort, sales always trickle in for me. GoodVibes is also one of the few affiliate programs that still offers sex toys for review to bloggers like myself. Like Babeland, GoodVibes has a smaller selection than EF or, say, Amazon, but I enjoy their own branded items, and they have frequent sales. Sign up here.

Adam and Eve and Pinkcherry’s affiliate programs actually use the same software, which makes it easy to see your stats at a glance. The stores could potentially provide incentives, but neither utilizes this option to the full potential. It’s not as easy to create links (by just adding on a code), but the system will save every incoming link that you create.

Adam and Eve has the benefit of having many more products with a full product feed to link to any of them and better search options. There’s more links and banners to choose from, too. I’m currently earning 30% on sales there, which is the highest amount on this list. You’ll also earn 5% for referrals. There’s only a $25 payout, too. The only reason my earnings aren’t higher is because I prefer to link to a lot of specific products that A&E doesn’t necessarily carry.

Still, Pinkcherry is located in Canada, which means  your customers might prefer a store that offers more reasonable shipping fees if they’re from the great white north. PinkCherry’s affiliate program has a $100 payout minimum.

Finally, I’d like to mention Amazon here. If you already have an associates accountwith them, it’s easy to add another tracking ID like I did. There’s about 14,000 sex toys on the site, which makes linking convenient. Not ever toy you’ll want to showcase is on it, however. Still, you’ve got options for your aStore and widgets, which are handy. I use Amazon far less frequently because there’s so many restrictions, but it is an option. Just don’t rely on it alone.

I have earned hundreds of dollars through a combination of programs and, often, the one I use has more to do with which stores carry products I’m linking to at the best price because I know that’s what my readers want. Find a program or three that works for you, and get to know it well.

Now, plenty of my fellow bloggers have had success with other programs, and I encourage them to leave comments if they’d like to leave a link, but these affiliate programs have worked well for me without all the stress induced by EdenFantasys.


Dildo: The Sex Toy Acclaimed World Wide, Now in Videos

February 25th, 2013

This guest post brought to you by World Nowadays, the trend of searching for porn videos has greatly increased. Even children have see porn, and they know the categories, too. Sex toys, of which dildos are now the most familiar, are used in all parts of the world. People use dildos to give more excitement and pleasure as it offers a more seductive feeling. So by viewing toys online, consumers can imagine these things in real life, and that’s the reason behind the popularity of sex toy videos. Some people are very much acquainted with dildos, but there are others without knowledge about using dildos in the most effective way. For them, viewing videos online and searching for sex toy videos by group is helpful to fulfill sexual desire.

DildoPeople use dildos with suction to increase the pleasure, but if someone doesn’t know how to use it, then these videos are really helpful to get to that stage of sexual pleasure. While seeing that a woman is riding above the dildo just like she might with a partner — without any support — can increase the viewer’s pleasure, the performers also receive pleasure from insertable sex toys. These videos offer a vantage into sexual desires and hands-free sex ride thanks to suction cup dildos.

Some dildos have a contoured head and bulges on the shaft. These all are safe to insert, and the person who uses a dildo can feel it while watching videos of playing with sex toys. Many high-quality dildos offer functional storage aside from pleasure, but for the person who is unfamiliar, dildos in videos is helpful. If you search for sex toy videos, then World Sex is one of the better site where you will find the high-quality porn videos from Anal to 69, amateur to mature, hand jobs to gay sex, group sex to dildos and toys among others. All are available there.

Inside world sex videos, you will find a variety of sex toys in use — by girls and guys who are all all having fun. Dildos are becoming more popular day by day, and not only that, but dildo or sex toy videos are gaining more visitors, too. Some people find these videos are the best ones to watch while masturbating, and on World Sex, you will find both short, between 4 and 5 minutes, as well as long videos. This site is popular among porn sites as this site contains sex toy videos featuring a variety of techniques. Just log on and watch sex toys videos on World Sex. Search by category to find motivation to go wild with your own dildo. You could surely have an erotic experience.