The Best and Worst Sex Toys of 2016

January 4th, 2017

As it turns out, it doesn’t take much to list your most-loved and most-hated sex toys in a year when you only review a handful. I hadn’t realized how many items I hadn’t reviewed until just now. To be fair, there are a few things in my queue that I could review, should have done so long ago, but most of these don’t inspire loving sonnets or wrathful rants.

And I wrote more erotica and personal blog posts than I have in some time. But reviews were few and far between.

So let’s talk about what I loved.

The Best Sex Toys and Books of 2016

BDSM: A Guide for Explorers of Extreme Eroticism
Ayzad’s BDSM: A Guide for Explorers of Extreme Eroticism is pretty much an encyclopedia BDSMica. Whether you want to complete your collection, find specific measurements for health and safety when you’re playing or are just curious, I recommend this book.

However, it’s a weighty tome that will take some commitment to finish in full. Fortunately, you don’t need to read the whole thing if you’re really only interested in, say, needles.

She’s on Top
This is one book that took me a while to page through, but once I did I was hooked. As the name suggests, this collected erotic works between the covers deal with female domination and male submission. If that sounds up your alley, add She’s on Top to your bookshelf.

The Worst Sex Toys of 2016

Layaspot, Desire clitoral vibe and Siri 2

Lovehoney’s Desire didn’t measure up to other clitoral vibes

Lovehoney Desire Clitoral Vibrator
The next item on this list is another clitoral vibrator that just didn’t do it for me. Although Lovehoney pulled out all the stops when it came to product and packaging design, the Desire clitoral vibrator still fell short.

And it’s almost entirely because of the lackluster vibrations. I wanted to love it, but lusting over a sex toy ultimately doesn’t lead to satisfaction. (The same is true for people, as I learned this year.)

Ooh by Je Joue Pebble Attachment
Okay, so I didn’t actually review this. And there’s a reason. After enjoying the What Happens in Vegas Kit, I shelled out my own money to by the clitoral attachment. I almost never do that.

So you can imagine my disappointment when it just didn’t work for me. My increasingly-arthritic fingers just couldn’t grasp the toy without discomfort in short time. Despite the enjoyable vibrations in the small motor, the attachment shape didn’t allow for the pressure that I usually enjoy.

Ah, well, lesson learned.

Minna kGoal
Let me sum up my experience in short. I guess do not have the typical anatomy of women, because inserting and removing of this kegel exerciser was fucking hell. Seriously.

Then, there were problems with Bluetooth and accounts. I was only ever able to use it successfully a few times, and I quickly became sick of having to wipe all that lube off my hands.

The folks at Minna were helpful, but it was simply too much trouble to try and try again. The feedback provided by kGoal is useful and the concept worthy, but this product was not ready for release.

Let’s hope Minna does better with their upcoming make kegel exerciser.

I know this post is a bit late, but I certainly hope you find it useful. Just going through my archives showed how few sex toy reviews I’d written in the past year, so I have already taken steps to rectify that by reaching out to companies who might be in need of reviews.

2017 will have more things to choose from and, hopefully, more sex toys that I actually like!


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