Fetish Fantasy Gold Ben-Wa Balls

August 18th, 2014

As I sit here writing this, I am awaiting one heavy, golden ball to reintroduce itself to gravity and make its way down my vaginal canal so I can finish this review and go to sleep.

I am not afraid that this ball is lost forever. I have a cervix. I know that there is an end to my vagina. I am not worried. I am simply annoyed. Other people might be worried, however. They may not understand how the the female anatomy works or, perhaps.

In my case, I struggled to push the small ben wa balls past my pubic bone, pinching myself with my fingernails as I did. Yes, this isn’t the type of item I would review at this stage in my life, but the folks at Pipedream sent me a pair to try, so I had to give them a fair shake.. roll?

At the end of this whole experience, I sit here with one ball nestled against my cervix, right where my short fingers can’t reach them. Perhaps someone else could, but I have to wait for gravity. This brings up one of the issues of classic ben wa balls: usability. Without a retrieval cord, it can be difficult to remove them, and I’m sure the variances in female anatomy make this more true for some women.

But let’s head back to the begining, the point during which I was inflicting pain upon myself in the name of a review. These ben wall balls are much smaller than any of those that most people really like. I’m talking about the Luna Beads or Smartballs. I like the K-balls, all of which are 4 or so times larger. Most of them also have some sort of texture or ridges, which helps keep them inserted in addition to the size.

With a sleek exterior, it was hard enough to get the ben wa balls inserted to stay in place. They kept wanting to slip back down past my pubic bone, which had me walking like a penguin. Not so great for daily use. I recall one of my first set of ben wa balls, which were similarly sized and white like pearls. They stayed in the first third of my vagina and kept irritating my urethra.

I opted to forego standing and returned to jerking off and pausing for a few kegel exercises. On my back, I could barely feel the balls inserted, and that must have been when they rolled back toward my cervix, where one still sits.

Since I can’t feel them, it doesn’t remind me to do kegels, and I’m not convinced that simply having them in is going to improve my muscles; although, I was more than impressed when my finger was inserted to push them into place and I clenched my PC muscles. Of course, the size of large balls makes them easier to feel, and most manufacturers argue that internal balls, which are probably like these ben wa balls, keep your muscles working passively.

I wanted to see if the ben wa balls made any difference during orgasm. They seemed to enhance them a bit, but orgasm always feels better with something or someone inserted.

These ben was balls are simply listed as “made of metal,” and they have the weight of them. The product description lists them at 2 ounces, with a diameter of .75 inches. They’re actually more like 1/2″ in diameter.

The gold ones, which I received, don’t seem to be available from every retailer. You can but them at my affiliate store here. At just $12, they’re cheaper than the alternatives, but they lack a storage option. This seems to be something pretty necessary for an item that can literally roll away. They come in a box with a plastic insert that would work for storage but is far from ideal.

And I guess that’s how I feel about these as a whole.

7 Comments


Lip Products for Softer Skin and Better Oral

August 14th, 2014

The lovely folks at Good Vibes were kind enough to send over a tin of Smooch Me Lip Lube with my last order. This it not the first time I’ve been able to try a product like that if you recall my review of Babegloss, a liquid lip gloss and lube intended to make your lips softer, tastier and wetter. Babeland has since discontinued the product, which is a shame. I like the taste and the design. I only wish I had used it more. I still have plenty left!

Good Vibe’s take as such a product is a little more, dare I say, generic? It comes in a tin like any homemade lip gloss. Now, this isn’t a deal-breaker, but I do prefer a container that allows me to apply without getting my fingers dirty. So, I sort of just wind up sticking my lips in the tin. It’s weird, I know. Maybe I’m just being lazy.

Anyway, this gloss/lube is available in several flavors, including mint and cinnamon. I got Cherry Vanilla. It’s probably the only scent I would come to close to liking — and I do like it.  The gloss is flavored as well as scented; although it’s more artificial flavor than anything else. I wouldn’t expect much more from a product like this. The flavor can help during oral, but Smooch Me is white so it’s not making your pout look anything other than shiny.

The texture also aids in this as an oral tool. It’s softer than many lip balms in a tin, so it definitely feels more like lube. However, it’s still got the slightly-waxy balm feel. Perhaps a little less so given how how soft it is. I really like the texture and find myself reaching for it simply to moisturize my lips. But the softness makes it easier to reapply if you’re actually using it as lube and need a little more.

The final product I’d like to discuss is PinkCherry’s lip balm. You can buy it because you love the company or maybe you’ll just throw it in your cart because you’re angling for free shipping. PinkCherry’s lip balm comes in a standard-sized tin. It looks a lot like the option from Good Vibes — but smaller. It’s white, so it’s not going to tint your lips. And, yes, it’s cherry scented. Although, it’s even more artificial than the other products I’ve discussed, and there’s a weird after taste that I don’t particularly like. This balm is scented but not flavored.

While Smooch Me is soft and easy to apply, PinkCherry’s lip balm simply isn’t. It’s hard. You either have to dig into the pot with a nail or give it a pretty fierce rub to get it to melt a little. PinkCherry definitely missed the mark here, and I think this simply makes the lip balm seem pretty cheap. I mean, at only $1, it’s not going to change the world, but it’s not doing the brand any favors. Smooch Me costs seven times as much, but you get more of a better product.

To be quite frank, PinkCherry’s balm will probably go into the garbage. Or maybe I’ll do some “science” experiments with a lighter. Because who doesn’t love open flames?!

If you’re looking for a lip product that’s as versatile as these things can be, Smooch Me is your best option. However, you might simply want to opp for flavored lube, instead.

8 Comments


Fun Factory Flora

August 10th, 2014

A couple years ago, fun Factory released a line or two or smaller toys. These included Bubbles and the Mini line, of which  I reviewed the Ocean. They all boasted the fine craftsmanship of Fun Factory in addition to the company’s bright colors, which we all know and love.

The company has come out with a new bunch of products after the Stronic Eins, and they use the same control setup. I think Fun Factory simply wanted to created some small vibes that use the same control panel type. The company does it periodically. I’ve seen a number of button setups for Fun Factory toys.  Remember when FF toys used that unique dial? Yeaaa. They’ve come a long way since then. The original Paul and Paulina wasn’t any better, either.

For a while, the company was creating toys with three buttons. Two were the typically to control the toy while the last worked as a boost, one of the things Fun Factory is known for. However, buttons on the Big Boss and Yooo were much harder to push than they should have been, especially when you have to press two at a time. Fun Factory’s Flora uses the same 3-button setup, but they’re smooth — almost beveled looking — and much easier to push. The control panel no longer lights up when you touch it, which I liked but seemed not to work consistently.

However, a two-button setup would’ve been fine. The third button, which features the Fun Factory logo, simply acts as a master power switch. If you touch one of the other buttons while the toy is off, the third one lights up to let you know to press it. Kind of useless. I also think the + and – buttons should be switched so the – button is toward the bottom of the toy.  In fact, they’re printed upside down. The thought is that you’ll look down and it will be right-side-up, but I can’t even see toys because of my short arms, and most toys use the other arrangement.

Flora starts at the last setting you had it on. There are a number of steady vibrating levels. The lowest is the deepest, and the highest definitely tickles my hand uncomfortably. Fun Factory has put better motors in other toys. If you keep pressing the + button, it changes modes.

  • Up and down escalation
  • Fast up/down escalation
  • Faster escalation
  • Fast pulsation
  • Low vibe/Fast pulse
  • Varied pulsation

The modes are different, which makes them interesting especially the last setting. The last one is especially different, but the escalation is redundant.

It seems a little loud — louder than the Siri, for example — for the power output.

Like the Stronic, this one uses a two-contact magnetic charger. The contact points are at the end of the base, which is rounded. I find this to be awkward. If the Flora is sitting on a table, it is tricky to line up the magnet and cable, which will have to bend to stay in position. This makes it waterproof, but I don’t personally require this.

My pink Flora reminds me an awful lot of the Fun Factory Curve. It collects lint, attracts hungry cats and needs a little bit of lube to feel slick.

My biggest peeve with this vibe might simply be that I’m not sure what it’s intended for. With just four inches to insert and a diameter of just over 1 inch, it feels far too small inserted. But it doesn’t need to be this size or generally phallic for external stimulation. I can’t tell if Flora is a stupidly giant pocket rocket or a tiny g-spot vibe. It did neither thing well for me. I do think the ridged design is fun and would be great if this were larger.

At $90, I can name a number of rechargeable internal and clitoral vibes that would be a better deal. The Laya Spot is a better option if you don’t need rechargeable or super strength. We Vibe’s Tango is a much better clitoral vibe. The Lovelife Cuddle is a better g-spot vibe that costs less than $70, too.

8 Comments


Jopen Key Comet II

July 14th, 2014

Have you ever just wanted something so bad? You couldn’t help but think about it?

In this case, it wasn’t that I wanted the Comet and the followup, the vibrating Comet II.

I wanted to love them the way that other people did. The way that people loved the Pure Wand.

Perhaps I should have known better.

Why wasn’t my love affair meant to be? Perhaps it’s because the curve of the Comet II is so round. I guess I prefer an angle. And the shaft is so rigid. There’s no give at all to make it work with my anatomy. There’s no give or pliability to that 1.5-inch knob at the end.

And if I was built like everyone else, I’m sure I wound love the curve and bulbous head. Most people are going to find this heavenly as the curve pushes the head of the toy directly toward their G-spot rather than just sort of gliding past it like it did with my shallow G-spot.

The buzzy vibrations are particularly unacceptable to me considering this is a rechargeable toy. There’s no excuse for them to not be anything other than causes-your-hand-to-go-numb.  Yet, they are. And the vibrating patterns are lackluster and utterly forgettable because of it. Seriously? It’s 2014. What the hell is wrong with you people that this made it off the drawing board let alone the assembly line?

Ugh, okay.

And marketing, packaging (it does come with its own storage bag) and waterproofiness just aren’t going to sway me when a toy doesn’t work for my anatomy. But even if I loved the shape, I would likely be disappointed by the vibrations. Especially because there’s a single continuous vibrating mode. That’s it. Not even a confusing high-medium-low. You can’t go up or down. Well!

If you’ve read reviews from anyone who has tried both, you’ve likely head that while the Comet II does add vibration to the design, it doesn’t do so in a way that makes both of them necessary. In fact, I would argue that the shallow vibes are so insignificant that they don’t warrant even the price jump between the two. This is especially true because the motor replaced the translucent part of the handle with plastic that is much tackier looking in my not-so-humble opinion. The glass looked much prettier. It might have been weightier, but I don’t have the original to compare.

Okay, so what might you like? The silicone has a bit of drag to it. Good for g-spots, maybe? If yours give a second thought about that kind of thing. I personally like that the entire length of the Comet II is less than the Pure Wand, which curled right into my belly button in the weirdest way. Like, how do other people even use it? There’s a knobby end on the Comet II where the button is, easy to use. Others have complained about it being a bit hard to grasp, however. Certainly, the slickness of lube makes it more difficult, but it’s not like this wasn’t an issue with the Pure Wand.

I can’t bring myself to love the Comet II, but I am the exception and not the rule. You might want to check our reviews from Property of Potter or Mr Will if you think you’re more like them.

10 Comments


So Silicone Dildo by Marc Dorcel

June 29th, 2014

I’ve had my eye on items in this line for a while. I think it’s because the product images are all weirdly Photoshopped, so I could never quite tell everything I wanted to from photos. For example, this dildo looks almost like plastic. It reminds me of some sort of plastic toy that I had a child. I remember it has some sort of “bones” with joints and you could bend it to keep its shape.

So every time I look at this dildo, I imagine that’s what it’s like.

It’s not. But that’s what I imagined.

To be honest, it might have been better to have some sort of bones. Because what the So dildo is.. is just a giant hunk of silicone. Thicker on one end by far, thinner on the other. You could argue that it offers versatility but, wait! Nope. It doesn’t. The silicone is so soft that the thin end is virtually floppy. It makes it harder to use, and means you’re using the floppy end as a handle if you take the larger side. You can see all the sad clown faces. It’s like Dali’s “The Persistence of Memory.”

Hypothetically, if the silicone were more firm/dense in the thinner neck, this would be a functional dildo — and a more affordable alternative to the Njoy Eleven, which is essentially the same design with an extra ridge on the thicker end of the shaft. If the Eleven is too big for you, the softer silicone might be easier handle, but it’s still large.

I’ll be honest, it’s too large for me to comfortable insert without previously having sex. Even working up to it with other toys is a hassle, and the overly-flexible neck (I’m not the only one who’s noticed ) doesn’t help. At its thickest — at the corona —  this dildo is wider than the 1.5 inches stated on SheVibe. A measuring tape comes up with 6 inches exactly around The head isn’t exactly round at the lip that provides G-spot stimulation. So it’s more like 1.75 inches at the widest and a bit more narrow arrow the dildo. The, silicone is firmest here in the toy. This makes it more difficult to take than you might guess.

The matte silicone will likely take a lot of lube, and those poorly ‘shopped photos (I know! I’m using one but I so desperately need a nap. I cannot help it!) make it look smoother. This is not the case. In person, in fact, this reminds me a bit of the Fun Factory Curve. That’s a better dildo, hands down. Legs up (in the air). Whatever.

The rounded head makes way for a smooth shaft that gently bends for a very lazy “S” shape. On the other end is a smaller head with 2 ridges along the shaft. The size allows for a more noticable G-spot “hook.” It’s significantly smaller with a diameter of just. The neck is something more like 1 inch in diameter at the thinnest. And this dildo tops out at 9 inches with a weight that’s no doubt less than the Eleven but more than I want to deal with on a regular basis and especially not for a dildo that wasn’t design with things like, you know, physics in mind.

Marc Dorcel, whoever he made be (okay, Wikipedia says he’s a French dude who makes porn. I hope it’s better than his sex toys), packaged this in a carboard box with plastic tray. No storage or anything memorable. Wash your silicone dildos with soap and water for two minutes while humming “Twinkle Twinkle Little Star” Or is that brushing teeth? Whatever. A run through the dishwasher, bleach wipe or 3-minute boil would get it cleaner.

But I don’t think I recommend actually using this for sex stuff. Just use it to hit your stupid UPS driver or smack the wall when the neighbor in the next apartment over is too loud. Maybe as toy for your dog to play fetch.

11 Comments


Minna Limon

June 16th, 2014

I don’t think I can write a glowing review for the Minna Limon without writing a scathing paragraph or two about the Minna Ola, which I reviewed over a year ago but I’m not quite sure I was able to express my distaste for this toy then. And it’s only grown since then.

Both the Limon and Ola use ‘touch sensitive’ controls. The harder you squeeze it, the stronger the vibes. In theory, I like this. In practice, it’s a very specific sort of control that’s different from any other toy and when done poorly, well, you have the Ola. The problem with the Ola would simply be solved if the part that you squeeze

  1. Wasn’t a horizontal
  2. Wasn’t “flat”

Because of this design, you have to awkwardly turn your and learn how to use a new toy. Minna should have gone ahead with a bulbous/round squeezy part to begin with. That’s exactly what they did with the tear-drop-esque Limon, and that’s why I love it.  I can comfortable grasp from just about any angle, so there’s no right way to hold the Limon. This makes the vibrator heads and tails more friendly than the first toy from Minna.

Now, within the round part you grasp is a flatter mechanism so you could maybe grab it at exactly the wrong angle and not be able to get good vibes out of it, but this seems pretty unlikely, and it’s much easier to adjust without messing up the point of contact. While the Ola had a specific shape for the G-spit — you’d ideally keep it oriented one way — Limon is, well, lemon shaped. The nodule at the top is kind of nipple-like, and there’s no right or wrong. You can also lie it against your vulva, clit, nipples or what-have-you so you get more pressure from the sides.

The silicone is plush with give, which makes it comfortable to hold, and I can certainly grind right against it without worrying about sharp corners or cutting myself with my sex toys, which I’ve been known to do in the past.

What I really really really fucking love about the Limon is that squeezing doesn’t even need hands. You could squeeze it in your elbow. Or between your partner’s body and your own. Or between your thighs for hands-free stimulation. I don’t think this was the company’s intent, but Minna Limon works extremely well when used like this. Perhaps you couldn’t make it work if your thigh gap is huge, but I can just lie there, position the Limon between my legs and squeeze my thighs about it. It actually reminds me a lot of the sort of thigh squeezing I would do during adolescence when aroused. There’s something reassuring about going back to old ways.

Like Minna’s Ola, Limon has a bit of a learning curve. There are essential 3 modes:

  • Free
  • Recording
  • Playback

Squeeze harder or play with squeezing and letting go to create a freeform masturbation jam session in the first setting. This is the one I use the most. As per usual, I squeezed the thing like I was The Mountain and it was Oberyn. But I love the option to squeeze and release and create unique pulsations. If you’re the type who maybe likes the unexpected, “recording” a setting like this might be up your alley. It’s more difficult to immitate escalation, but that’s fine by me.

I found your green lantern, Hal Jordan

I found your green lantern, Hal Jordan

With a single button, Limon is easy to use. Turn it on, cycle through the modes and turn it back off. When you turn it on “Minna” lights up beneath the plush silicone. This is cute but not functional.  The light also flashes pretty brightly during charging. I can’t charge this in my bedroom while I sleep. I’d go insane. But you could use it as a freakin’ nightlight.

I’ll be honest — Limon isn’t a surprising little power house.  It’s certainly stronger than some USb-powered toys, but it doesn’t come anywhere near some of the battery-powered toys I’ve used, either. And no one would make a comparison with the Hitachi. And the first time I used it, I was pretty impressed with the strength of the vibrations given the size. They’re rumbly-ish.

However, they vibrations seemed much weaker the second time around, like the Limon wasn’t quite holding charge right. I also had a weird issue where it wasn’t quite responding right. I’d had it on for some time (30 minutes?), and it was fine after I turned it off and back on, but it would be worth noting if others run into this. I could just have a slightly glitchy vibe, of course.

Limon has two magnetic points and comes with a little based to charge. It reminds me an awful lot of the Form 2. However, the magnets are pretty strong, helping to orient the toy and base and keep it in place as it charges. If your cats run over your nightstand, it will fall out of place but it’s not nearly as finicky as other magnetic chargers. Plus, you can use it for storage. I wouldn’t because my cats eat sex toys. There’s a tiny satin bag with it. Good enough for me.

So, there you have it. Yes, I’m a finicky bitch, but yes the Limon passes the test and even surpasses my expectations in surprising ways. Some people are going to need more strength, but the ingenuity of this toy makes up where vibrations lack for the Limon in my book.

9 Comments


Elegant Moments Purple Mesh Burnout Babydoll

June 12th, 2014

Oh, how I wanted to love this babydoll. I wanted to wear it with confidence until someone tore it off. Alas, a happy relationship wasn’t meant to be.

Because it looks like a sexy flyaway babydoll with interesting burnout details and comfortable, underwire cups but it’s really just cheap and disappointing. Like some of my dates in the past? I don’t know.

The mesh burnout part is actually fairly nice. It features viney scrolls. They’re visually interesting and interesting to the touch. The mesh is breathable and light but covers up a bit in front and the entire back, so you won’t necessarily feel exposed. And on the right body, this will look amazing I am sure. The empire waist won’t look good on everyone of course.

The same material makes up the front panel of the G-string, which was far too large for me in the X1. This is often the case, so I expected nothing more or less.

However, that’s really all I can check off in the “pro” column. My main complaint is with the cups in this piece, but those really make up the most of the workmanship and visual detail. Yes, they’re underlined but the padded fabric is sewn it flat and not curving outward the way any decent bra does. Instead of allowing my breasts to “spill” into the cups, which should support them, this pushes the entire cup — fabric and wire — and the front of the babydoll awkwardly away from my body. The center ribbon and bow just sort of hovers there, wondering what it’s supposed to do or look like. Perhaps on a wider rib cage without any extra space, my breasts would push out the cups instead.

And the ribbon doesn’t match the rest of the babydoll at all. It annoys me a ton. The satin cups almost perfectly match my Liberator Throe and it looks good with the burnout mesh, but the ribbon is just ugly. It’s obviously thrown on there to hide the front clasp, which would be sexy if it wasn’t made of plastic — just like the hardware on the straps. By the way, one of the straps on mine is sewn on twisted. And this clasp means you can’t adjust the waistband, which is quite loose for an XL. It’s going to fit up to a 45 inch bra band, I’d imagine.

And maybe I would be able to live with this if the babydoll was designed with a thick, stretchy empire waistband to balance out the awkward cups, but that’s not the point. In fact, the waistband is just a thin piece of elastic that runs along the top of the back side of the babydoll and connects to the sides of the piece at the end of the underwire — about midway up from the cups. However, a supportive waistband should be at the base of the cups. Because of its location, my breasts push the cups out and the bottoms sit sort of exposed.

I hate to be repetitious but “awkward” is the only word that truly explains how this babydoll feels. And awkward does nothing for confidence, which few people would argue you need to strut your stuff in lingerie or even in the nude. This piece gives me none. In fact, I wouldn’t ever want to wear it in front of another person.

Shevibe

2 Comments


Embrace Beloved Wand

May 28th, 2014

I’ve really liked the design of Cal Exotics’ new Embrace line. It’s made of silicone and the designs tend to be sleek and more luxurious than you’re used to when it comes to CEN items. The company now even uses more luxurious packaging, which I’ll have a post about soon.

Many of the toys in the line are also rechargeable, as is the one that I wanted most. I was sent a G-spotter that relies on AAA batteries.

I know. Sigh.

I hate toys that rely on AAA batteries. The vibrations are, without fail, weak and buzzy. The Beloved Wand is no different. Generally, my G-spot still responds, but that wasn’t the case with the vibe, which just had overly-weak vibrations that bugged the hell out of my hand.

The G-wand has 7 different functions and two buttons to use them. The buttons are on a flat panel on the base, which gives the Beloved Wand an interesting design in my opinion. It’s easy to turn on and off. Twist the base off to insert batteries. The Beloved wand uses sort of a gimmicky control setup. Each of the seven functions has seven different intensities. If you turn the vibrator on with the power button, it turns on to the lowest steady setting. The following vibration patterns/modes follow:

  • Medium steady vibes
  • High steady vibes
  • Slow pulse
  • short, short long pulse
  • Escalation
  • Five fast pulses, one long pulse

Pressing the power button once turns the toy back off, but pressing and holding it eventually turns down the vibrations. I’m not a fan of toys that do this. Like, what’s the problem? Start low. Go higher. It’s the natural order of things, folks!

The controls are totally awkward. It’s not always easy to tell when you’re switching between intensities. There’s no tactile feedback. Audible feedback isn’t consistent. I have no idea how to tell the difference between one setting and the next let alone determining when I can stop pressing. If you accidentally just press the power button, the Beloved Wand turns off.  It’s just dumb.

But here’s a positive. CEN is now creating toys of more colors than just pink or purple. This G-wand is also available in a matte grey, which is pretty awesome.

Some people will also like that the Beloved wand has a thicker shaft than many G-spotters. I don’t need girth as I use pressure and stroking to stimulate my G-spot. I don’t need to feel full, just stimulated. The Beloved Wand is thicker than Mona, for example. At 1.5″ at the end of the shaft, this is comparable to some of the larger internal vibes — like the Form 6 G3 — and water-based lube is definitely your friend. However, there is also a more drastic G-spot curve, and you can insert about 5.5 inches rather than both ends. At least, the edges on the base wouldn’t feel very good in my opinion.

It also features a rigid mechanism in the g-spot curve. Despite the plush silicone layer over this, it felt more rigid to me even though it’s silky smooth in my hand. I don’t know if I used this when my cervix/vagina was especially sensitive, but something about the design felt sharp. I actually pulled out the vibrator to see if there were any seams or angles, but there were none. T

he product description says this toy moves with your body but something about it just felt foreign. Like an intrusion. There is movement because the neck of the toy is flexible. You might not like this if you like frantic thrusting, and I know some people do. I don’t, but I think a hard toy all the way through is a little easier to manipulate.

Despite the flaws, this could be a decent vibrator if your anatomy likes it. It’s less than $60; although, you wouldn’t have to spend much more to get a rechargeable vibrators so keep that in mind.

CEN Sexpert

4 Comments


Magic Wand Original

May 25th, 2014

For the rest of this review, I am going to use “Hitachi” because it’s easier to type and my nails are wet and I am annoyed. So, okay.

If you’ve ever seen the movie Blair Witch Project and you were curious whose stupid idea it was to do the handheld camera thing, let me suggest this. The shakeyness was not due to holding it by hand. Rather, the tripod was attached to a Hitachi. The Hitachi may also been the cause of the earthquake that altered the planet’s axis and shortened the day.

This is, to say, the Hitachi is strong. It’s the strongest toy I’ve used. It’s stronger, on its highest setting, than the Miracle Massager. The Inspire. That one stupid rechargeable massager that I used once before tossing in my swap drawer, which omg-you-guys is getting so full! There’s a reason Hitachi has been around for a million and one years. It comes through where other vibrators don’t.

It’s effective as hell if you’re a power queen. It’s also strong enough to provide real comfort to achey bones and muscles, legitimately. If I place that thing on my clit, I feel it in my spleen. My nipples almost dance because of the strength of the Magic Wand Original.

And original it is! It hasn’t  changed in design for many years; although, the name and packaging got a revamp. But the design hasn’t changed. It’s clunky. It’s loud. Like a god damned chainsaw. It’s big. It’s not friendly if you’re injured or have arthritis. To be honest, I feel like Peter Dinklage would have a hard time using this monstrosity. I think this bums me out because I wouldn’t mind having sex with him.

Anyway, Peter Dinklage stands out among the crowd — not that’s not a midget joke, okay maybe it is — but the Hitachi doesn’t, at least, not when it comes to design. Perhaps this is because every other wand maker copies them. Don’t break what isn’t broke, right? But I’m not sure that this design isn’t broke. Or maybe I am broken. At the end of the day, I prefer the lighter, curved body of the Miracle Massager. It’s weaker, but I really only use the Hitachi on low (more on that soon, I promise!). They both have springy heads, but I find the weird round and spongey head on the Hitachi to be lackluster. Miracle Massager has this edge that I grind into my clint/pubic bone. Hitachi’s head is too round, and I don’t get the pressure I like. Inspire has an almost completely round head, but it’s smaller so I can really jam it up there between my labia. Is that a weird way to describe it? I don’t think I care.

Maybe I would like it better with an attachment. I’m sure I’d squirt like hell all over with the g-spot accessory. but I already have g-spot toys that are pretty good at that and they’re far less cumbersome.

Okay, so the shape isn’t to my liking but maybe that would be okay if the Hitachi knocks my socks off? And I would be lying if I said it wasn’t strong enough. In fact, it’s too strong like I eluded to earlier. I only ever use it on the lower setting, which I prefer because the vibrations are deeper here. It’s not like the high setting is buzzy, but I just like really rumbly vibrations.

But the problem with a vibrator so strong is that it detracts from what I am feeling. It’s overwhelming. It feels and sounds.. too much. I wind up pulling away when I am about to orgasm because I guess my orgasms are hard work — even with the Hitachi — and not very strong. I like to feel my muscles contracting and whatnot and the Hitachi is just too.. distracting. I literally wind up turning it off, but this makes it a little disappointing.

I’m well aware that my issues with the Hitachi are some of my own, but I think most people are looking for the right balance between shape, strength, effectiveness, and noise. The Hitachi just doesn’t it for me.

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Icicles No. 52

May 20th, 2014

My last experience with an Icicles dildo didn’t turn out so well. In fact, my first was pretty lackluster, and I wound up trading it away so maybe it was a little risky for me to try another one. However, I thought the elongated tentacle design of this dildo would better fit me than any of the Icicles dildos I’ve tried thus far. I was right.

In fact, I would go so far as to say that this dildo is shaping up, literally, to be one of the best G-spot dildos I’ve ever owned. I know that it won’t be fantastic for everyone. If you need that drastic curve, then you might try Fun Factory’s Curve or the Pure Wand, which most people love for its curve. In fact, I found it difficult to find reviews of dildos with intense G-spot curves on Of Sex and Love. I just don’t like them! I’ve tried more G-spot vibrators that hit the spot, that’s for sure.

So this glass dildo head a curve, but it’s less intense. There’s also a bulb. I personally find that the shape perfectly cups my pubic bone and reached my G-spot with ease. It provided perfect stroking and while I don’t have trouble with squirting, it was so easy with Icicles No. 52. The gentle curving really made it easy to use even if it wasn’t necessarily the most filling toy I’ve ever used.

This is a fairly long and narrow  dildo at 7 1/4 inches long. You can technically insert most of it if you’d like. Although, I don’t think you’d want to. Toward the center of the shaft, the diameter is 1 1/4 inches wide. It’s not a very intimidating toy in my opinion, and I use just a dab of lube with it. You may not need any if you’re already warmed up. The bulb on the head is smaller than that, however. You can insert under 1″ thick if you don’t insert the dildo very far, and I found that I didn’t need to.

The glass provides rigid stimulation if you like it that way. The design is lighter than metal of a similar style but heavier than wood. There’s also texture on the shaft that is reminiscent of a tentacle. It’s engraved rather than ridges so you might not notice it as much. The sides of the shaft, which flattens out a bit, are smooth. So is the other end, which is an open loop that servers as a handle. Maneuvering this dildo is easy, even if your hands are full of lube.

Like all glass, it’s nonporous. You can clean it in a million ways. It’ll warm up against your body and in warm water. You can cool it down, too.

Icicles toys come in foam inserts in thin cardboard boxes. There’s no storage bag so you may want to invest in one if you’d like to protect it. I have enough fabric storage in my drawer that I can rest a glass toy in there without worries. A towel will also do the trick.

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