Minna Ola

March 19th, 2013

It isn’t so often that I lust over a toy like I did with Minna Ola. It just seemed so new and interesting. Sure, I’ve tried plenty of G-spot vibes, but I haven’t had one that let me customize my pleasure the way that Minna Ola does. So I spent my own money, er gift cards, on it. I don’t do that frequently.

And then I promptly started to hate it. I don’t know, maybe “hate” is a strong word, but I don’t like it very much. I guess I just don’t like toys that require quite so much thought and effort. Ugh. Let me explain.

Instead of a vibrator that you simply turn on, this one has a power button. Then, you have to squeeze a portion of the handle to turn on and increase the vibrations. Minna calls this the “soft spot,” and it’s actually soft to the touch.It uses air to inflate and deflate, which means it might deflate when you change elevations. Charging it will fix this.

A light squeeze turns on light vibrations. You have to squeeze it all the way to turn it up. This means you can create any sensation that you’d like, but I really don’t like this. I just want steady vibrations. I’m not much for escalation or pulsation, which I’ve mentioned before.

So, you can hold it steady on high, but this really hurts my fingers after some time. I don’t think that people with arthritis will like Minna Ola for exactly this reason. There’s a feature that allows you to record and repeat settings. This has a lot of potential, but you can only record one. Unfortunately, you’ll have to either be happy with that or simply record “over” it every time you want something different.

The setup also means there’s nothing besides steady vibrations if you don’t create them. You can see why I don’t like all the effort this requires. And the vibrations? While moderate in strength and depth really aren’t as impressive as I’d like with a toy.

However, there is one thing that I like about Minna Ola. Because of the part you squeeze, the hand bends up and toward you when the shaft is against your G-spot. I love this. It makes controlling it much easier than it’s ever been for me before. I wish all vibrators were like this.

Speaking of the shaft, it has an ever-so-slight G-spot curve, but it’s not extreme. I found Minna could hit the spot, but it’s not going to work for everyone. The rounded tip also works for G-spot stimulation, but it’s not as strong as I’d like for external use.

There’s a light seam along the side, but I didn’t feel it. Otherwise, it’s silky smooth and doesn’t require a lot of lube for insertion. At 1.25″ in diameter, the oblong shape of Minna Ola actually felt a little small to me. You can insert 5.5″, which is pretty ideal for me.

All of this came with a storage bag and charger in an awkward cardboard tube, much like those you’d use for posters. It’s different, but that doesn’t make me love it. You can reuse it, but it’s much bigger than the toy. There’s a lot of wasted space and material. While you could use it for storage, I would prefer not to for this very reason. Plus, shipping boxes must be that much larger because of the tube package.

Okay, but who will like the Minna Ola?

If you want customization and absolute control, I can see you liking it. If you don’t need extreme vibrations, give it a try. If you like experimenting and want something new, you might like it better than I did. Plus, Minna Ola is made of silicone and uses magnetic charging, so it’s waterproof. The smaller size means size queens won’t like this, but many people want high-quality toys that aren’t huge.

But the high price means that I’d hesitate recommending Minna Ola to anyone who doesn’t meet all of those requirements.

3 Comments


Gyrating Sensations Gyrating Hummer

March 8th, 2013

I’ve come down with an awful cold, so this one’s going to be a quick one.

The gyrating hummer is not the type of vibe I’d pick for myself. You see, it’s weird shaped. I mean, I’m not into spoon/scoop shaped toys, and I don’t get the point of the little pokey dimple on the back. Whenever I look at this toy from the side, all I can imagine is a Shyguy – and not in the good way! Plus, for a toy that I wouldn’t want to insert, it just seems a little long for external use. It seems reasonable that CEN could save some time and materials by making this vibrator a little shorter. It doesn’t need to be longer than six inches. Then again, I just don’t get this whole “clit huggers” thing. Can someone please fill me in? Or not. I don’t really care. At least it doesn’t use AAA batteries.

So here’s some things that work in this toy’s favor:

  • It’s available in bright freakin’ green
  • The 2 AAs provide some surprisingly deep vibrations
  • It’s easy to use
  • The plastic cote is silky smooth and feels good to the touch
  • It has multiple modes
  • The pulsations are impressive
  • It’s water resistant with an O-ring around the battery pack

Really, I expected this to be a buzzy little thing, but the vibrations are impressively deep. They’re not the strongest ever, but I was taken aback. It makes me wish that I liked the shape better, but I just don’t. I don’t want to cup or surround my clit. I want firm pressure, which this toy just cannot provide.

But there’s plenty of things that suck about this toy:

  • The shape is just plain weird
  • You have to press the button for several loonnng seconds before it turns off
  • It rattles and is louder than I’d like
  • It uses one of those quarter-turn battery cap styles, which is a bitch to screw on
  • The silver band looks cheap
  • The vibrations could be stronger

Ultimately, however, it’s cheap. That’s what we gotta focus on. For less than $20, you really could do worse. If the shape somehow works for you, then go for it. I need something else, but I think I could have liked aspects of this toy if I hadn’t already tried hundreds.

1 Comment


Icicles No. 39

February 22nd, 2013

I have written many reviews for underpowered, overpriced, poor-quality and other sex toys with simply poor designs. I’ve had defects, but I’ve never had one break on me, despite the fact that I’ve reviewed more than my fair share of glass dildos over the years. What makes this even worse is that this dildo broke before I was technically able to use it. I took a picture and put the dildo away for a while.

Then, I got it out and went to wash it. While it was under the stream of water already in the basin of the sink, fell a few inches and broke. The flat ring of the handle broke off from the corkwscrew shaft. A tiny piece chipped and fell down my drain, so while I can piece these back together and maybe even super glue it, I don’t think it’s worth dealing with.

Now, it didn’t shatter or break in use, but I’ve dropped more than one piece of glass into my sink and even on the floor without it breaking on me. While this dildo broke as the thinnest point, I still feel it warrants discussion. Is this an issue with the dildo I received? Is it a problem with this particular design because the ring is so narrow? Or are Icicles dildos in general something we should stay away from? I don’t want to write them off entirely, but this makes me wary.

Icicles 39 Handle Broken From Shaft

Before it broke, Icicles 39 really was gorgeous. The black glass is opaque. It’s super shiny and sleek. The corkscrew design is unique and it wasn’t hard to take a decent picture before it broke.

Pipedream is really trying to up their game. My dildo came in a foam insert in a long, narrow box. There’s a magnetic “flap” that you open to see a window surrounded by a black-on-black pattern. It’s all very sophisticated. Sadly, it’s all for show because Pipedream includes no storage and..

The dildo really didn’t work for me. Yes, I still use it — carefully — after it broke. I found the shape to be noticeable but not in a way that was especially pleasurable. The problem with it is that it’s just so narrow. I really had to press the straight shaft to stimulate my G-spot and this was due to the narrowness of this. While this makes it a good dildo for people who like smaller toys, it’s going to wind up disappointing size queens. I don’t even consider myself one of those, but this thing is a maximum of 1″ or so and it starts around half that. With 6″ or so insertable, the taper is super gradual, but the lack of girth and curve means it’s less than ideal for me personally.

So, this went in the trash for obvious reasons, but if you were to buy this, cleaning is a breeze. Storage? Well, you want something padded, that’s for sure.

I’m wary of quality, but I think someone could like this dildo. It’s just not me.

1 Comment


Star Delight Clear Dildo [Flash Review]

February 19th, 2013

My first Crystal Delights dildo was a success, but I feel like I would enjoyed it more had I been able to use it on someone else. The pretty Swarovski jewels at the end are totally lost on me, unless I display it as a piece of art in my living room. I just might. Although, the blue almost exactly matches my nails.

The Star Delight specifically is a glass dildo with a contoured head and bulges on the shaft. The flared based makes it pretty safe for anal, and while the shaft lacks any sort of G-spot curve, the contoured head was enough to make me squirt within minutes. The bulbs are impossible to ignore, but I slightly prefer ridges for actual pleasure. Six inches to thrust with is plenty, and the glass has a heft to it that I enjoy.

The base makes it easy to hold, and I was able to insert this 1.4-inch dildo with no warm-up and a little lube. Cleaning is easy no matter how you do it, and Crystal Delights includes this storage pouch, which I just love. It’s like a burrito of happiness.

Good dildo? Yes. Better than any I’ve tried before? No? Prettier? Why don’t you come find out.

Crystal Delights Storage Pouch

 

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Luxe Euphoria

January 29th, 2013

In the past, I haven’t loved other Luxe toys I’ve tried. I think they’re all super cute, but they also only run on 2AAAs. That pretty much sums up my experience with the Luxe Euphoria.

And when I try to describe what this thing looks like, I just want to say:

If it looks like a duck and walks like a duck and sounds like a duck.. it’s a vibrator?

I mean, it’s really got a face. California Exotics is taking a cue from the Japanese, I guess. There’s head and a little bill with which you can stimulate yourself. Maybe it’s a platypus. Then, it straightens out for you to hold it. It’s cute. I wouldn’t have picked out this shape, but something about it makes me smile despite myself. Like, maybe I want to do shadow puppets with it.

Sadly, I don’t really want to masturbate it because it’s just too weak for me. Yea, we all saw that coming. Two tiny batteries, and it barely feels like it’s turned on. Oddly enough, mine came with one of the tester batteries. I’m sure people will freak out about the toys being used, but they all get tested before sent out. Oh well, free battery?

I wish it was stronger, though, because that duck face could actually work. I can sort of curve my finger over the top of the head toward the bill, which gives me leverage for a little pressure. The bill offers pinpoint stimulation, which isn’t my favorite, but the silicone is firm with a little give. However, this means that my palm is over the controls. I have a hard time with buttons because I have to use my fingers for pressure and I want the buttons to be accessible but not exactly where I’m going to hold the toy down– I’m talking to you, Lelo.

CEN has gone with the two-button style: a master power button and another button that cycles through all the settings. It’s annoying when there’s many settings, but the Luxe Euphoria has only seven:

  • low
  • medium
  • high
  • escalation
  • past pulsation
  • faster pulsing
  • short then fast pulsation

The batteries are woefully inadequate, and while there’s a red LED below the buttons, it seems like mine might be defective. It doesn’t shine under both, only sort of in the middle. If this is the design, it really doesn’t help to illuminate the buttons.

California Exotics has done something new with the battery cap, as far as I recall, and I hate it. Instead of being able to screw it off, you have one of those little covers with the springy part like your remote control. It’s on the “tail” of the duck and almost so flush that you can’t find it. I actually like that it’s so seamless, but it makes it difficult to find, and the springy part you need to push to open it. The cover pops straight up, and I have a hard time getting it back on. I think I’m using to things that angle into place. It’s just different, I suppose.

The seamlessness probably lends to the waterproofiness of this toy. There’s not a single O-ring. Rather, the entire battery connection part on the cap is surrounded by a layer or silicone or TPR. It seems pretty secure, to be honest. I wouldn’t use this toy in the shower — you wouldn’t feel it with the water — but it’s easy to clean.

I do love the texture of this. Both the silicone and plastic have a velvety treatment. While the plastic is rigid, it has the same texture as the silicone. This, I like. There’s a silver “collar” that’s made of plastic and runs around the duck’s neck. This is definitely the weak point of the design. Not only can I see seams, but I can see the glue. Eeps!

This toy isn’t something I’d pay $30 for, especially knowing what I need, but CEN has made some good strides with this, even if it’s the odd duck out.
CEN Sexpert

4 Comments


Fun Factory Stronic Eins [Video Review]

January 25th, 2013

Welcome to my first video review! I’m pretty excited and think this might be a direction I continue to go in. I shot this with my phone so it might be a little shaky, but it’s the best camera I have. I did this all in one take and didn’t feel like reshooting when my cat made an appearance, so I hope you can appreciate his beauty.

While I intended to follow a script, I veered off. All the information in the video is available in the text below, with a few additions at the very end of this review.

Transcript — Sort of

Fun Factory calls this toy a pulsator, not a vibrator. It’s not something I think will catch on, but it goes to show that this is a different type of toy. I like to think of it as one that thrusts, but it’s a far cry from the thrusting rabbits with the weird accordion texture. In person, this looks like any other vibrator. There’s a hard plastic base and a silicone shadt with a slight curve intended for G-spot stimulation. The nub toward the base would theoretically provide clitoral stimulation, but mine is too far away for this to work.

When you’re looking at the toy from the side, there’s an engraved “ridge” that runs down the side to the tip of the clitoral nub. It’s similar to what you’d find on the Boss, which I’ve also tried. As I’m holding this, you can see that it’s not a very large toy. As the base, it’s maybe 1-inch wide. I don’t have very large hands, and I can encircle the entire shaft. At its widest, near the nub, it’s 1 3/4″ wide, but you won’t insert up this point. The shaft offers about 5 1/2 insertable inches. This is potentially a good toy for someone who isn’t a size queen.

The silicone is rather soft, and there’s some give in the nub and the head,[pinch silicone], but the shaft is rigid inside the plush silicone. As you’re looking at my video, you’ll probably see how much of a lint magnet the silicone is on this toy. It’s typical for any silicone toy, unfortunately, and is not unique to Fun Factory. My toy is a medium purple with a slight blue hue that doesn’t show up well in the video, and this toy is also available in pink. The plastic base is almost velvety to the touch. I like it.

The Stronic uses Fun Factory’s magnetic position, and the contact points are on the very end of the shaft. I think this position could be improved upon. While I like magnetic charging, getting the magnet to stay in position is often frustrating and problematic. However, the design makes it perfectly waterproof, so you can use it in the shower or tub. You don’t have to worry about keeping ports out of water when you cleaning it, and because silicone does collect lint so much, you definitely want to use soap and water rather than a spray or cloth.

Although, Fun Factory has changed the way the buttons work. There’s three buttons, one that says “Fun” which turns the toy on and off, and a + and -. They work exactly as you’d expect. One thing that I like is they’re raised, which makes them easy to find. there’s definite tactile and audible feedback when you press the buttons, too. Because of the third button, the Stronic will remember the setting it was on when you turned it off, and some people might like this.

When you press and hold the + button just a little bit, it starts this thrusting action that you can see in the video, but it’s easier to see in person that there’s an internal mechanism causing this up and down motion to mimic thrusting. It’s incredibly aggressive, almost violent. You won’t miss it, and it feels nothing like a vibrator.

As you increase the frequency of the Stronic, you can hear the motor running. It doesn’t sound like a vibrator, There’s a sort of back and forth sound, which is interesting to describe.

As you can see with the Stronic, Fun Factory has changed the buttons. There’s a + button that turns on and increases the speed of the thrusting. As you’re increasing the speed, it doesn’t seem that fantastic in your hand, but I’m not necessarily sure you can understand how this actually feels without using it. There are a few settings past thw different speeds of the thrusting, which I find difficult to describe. They produce an altogether different sensation, and there is no regular vibration setting. This makes this expensive toy a risky investment. There is not other toy that I can suggest you try before you shell out the cash for the Stronic, and there’s no plan B if you don’t love it like the Sasi by JeJoue.

This might not be a deal-breaker if you don’t particular enjoy internal vibrations. My G-spot responds to them, but I found that it also responded to the thrusting. The Stronic doesn’t feel exactly like sex, but it feels sex-like, which I guess is good enough for me. When inserted, the shaft stays still in my vagina/hand. In the video, my hand moves all around because the thrusting is just so aggressive, so it doesn’t seem as thrust-like as when it’s inserted. This, perhaps, make the decision to buy the Stronic more difficult.

I personally feel that it’s sex-like. The softer silicone probably helps with that, too. However, I’d need clitoral stimulation to get off, too, and the aggressive nature of the Stronic does make that a little difficult. Or maybe I’m not that coordinated.

The bottom line is, I like this toy. A lot, but I don’t know if I would have bought it myself because it’s such a risky investment. Don’t risk it if you’ll miss your $200. Use a coupon if you have the chance.

9 Comments


Fetish Fantasy Elite 10″ Dildo

January 14th, 2013

Where do I start with this review other than to say it looks like a giant unicorn horn? And giant is the keyword here. It’s a whopping ten inches long. It’s a heavy hunk of silicone that you likely won’t use every time you’re having sex or going for a solo session, but it does have its uses. For example, the length makes it ideal for strapon play when angles and bodies mean short dildos just won’t cut it. The slight curve at the end could definitely be used for G-spot stimulation, and the shaft isn’t going to bend or give during intense thrusting.

It’s still a really large toy, however. It’s definitely meant to be used with a strap-on, and I’d recommend a nice, tight one to keep it from pulling down too much given the size and weight. And, in fact, Pipedream does offer a few strap-ons that you might test this with. The only one I currently own is the Sasha harness, which I didn’t much love. With a bit of pulling and prodding, this dildo does fit into the Sasha harness. Even though that harness is quite snug, the dildo hangs down. It’s not perky and erect like some people might prefer. I personally find it a little heavy for my tastes. I think this could easily be solved by hollowing out at least part of the dildo — this also gives you room to insert a bullet if you’d like.

As to whether this one will work with your harness, the Fetish Fantasy Elite 10″ Dildo will need a 1.75″ O-ring. At the base, the shaft goes in slightly, so it’s less wide than the widest point, which is just under 2″ in diameter. This makes this dildo pretty large. Of course, I can’t really imagine someone inserting the entire thing. Assuming you insert about six inches, the diameter at that point is over 1.75″ .

The thickness on this one gradually increases. The head starts out at just 1.27 inches; however, it reaches 1.5 inches pretty quickly. If you aren’t a size queen, then you could simply insert the tip for G-spot stimulation. It works well enough for me. Of course, then this really wouldn’t be the toy for you.

The silicone of this dildo does have a lot of drag, so water based lube is your friend. I’m not a big fan of toys that need quite so much lube. I also slightly prefer the velvety finished of some silicone toys. As for the wrapped design? It looks pretty and really lends a fantastic element to the appearance but isn’t something that sets me over the edge.

It collects lint like crazy, so a healthy soap and water rinse is necessary even before storage — unless you store it in a plastic bag. The silicone feels pretty firm and dense; although, I can slightly bend the head a few degrees to either side. However, the lack of G-spot curve means this might not be the best vaginal didlo. The same goes for you if you’re looking to use it for prostate stimulation.

One aspect that I do like is the base, which will work as a suction cup if you’re not using this with a strap-on. Of course, there are practicality issues to consider, but if you’re into mounting your toys, then the option is there.

So, if you love silicone and large dildos, if you want to feel powerful and really take your partner without a serious need for a curved toy, this might be up your alley. If you’re unsure for any reason, I’d pass it up.

Like most Fetish Fantasy products, this one comes with a silicone mask. And it’s a piece of crap. Silicone is really staticy and linty, so your hair will stick to it and pull. The mask runs really small. It pulls uncomfortable over my eyes even when it’s adjusted to the loosest setting. Plus, the shape doesn’t do much to block light or vision at all. I am still a proponent of my Kinklab leather blindfold and would recommend it a thousand times over this one.

Still, it’s a solid toy with a minimal seam and much better quality than other Pipedream products I’ve tried in the past. I would probably consider something a little smaller from them in the future.

8 Comments


2012: Best Of

December 30th, 2012

I did a “Best of” last year. It really covered more than a single year, but I wanted to continue the trend into 2012. 2012 hasn’t seen as many reviews as other years. My love life also didn’t pick up until about a week ago, so that’s okay. Unfortunately, some really cool reviews won’t come until after the first of the year, but that’s also okay. If you didn’t notice, the world didn’t end, which means there is a 2013 coming to an Earth near you. I think it will be pretty good.

As for 2012, I’ve seen worse. Some of the items on this list were revamps of toys I’d already liked. In many ways, this felt a little uninspired. A good toy probably isn’t going to get worse. This is how I felt about the Lelo Mona 2. However,  the G4 Big Boss was larger than life in a lot of ways. I actually haven’t used it since I moved, but I know how I’ll fell when I do:

By the time I got anything inserted, I felt like I’d used an entire bottle of lube. It was only like 1/4 but, you know, I was all sorts of slippery. This was a freakin’ masturbation adventure, and who doesn’t like adventures?! The countoured head of this and a little lube and my clit is, like, the best adventure I’ve ever been on.

Trojan Midnight Collection Multi-position

On the other hand, some toys really surprised me. I mean, the Trojan Midnight Collection Multi-position Vibrator? It’s by a company that most people would write off. It doesn’t seem particularly awesome when you look at it, but I liked it enough to say “The first setting is lackluster so I turned it up a few times and found the sweet spot that make me squirt and squirt and squirt. It took me by surprise.” Babeland has dropped the price $20, too, which means I recommend the Midnight Collection vibe that much more.

I also gushed — pun intended — about the 24K Double Pleasure. It’s a gorgeous dildo. It feels nice. It photographs well. I would ask it to marry me if it had cuddly arms.

I reviewed a variety of bath and body products on of Sex and Love. I don’t know if y’all really like them, but I do, so you just have to put up with them, okay? I tried a whole bunch of the Pink Cupcake scented products from Classic Erotica, but it was the body mist that really stood out. In fact, I’ve been trying to get other stores to carry Wanna Be Sexy Flirty Body Mist, but they just won’t listen. Their loss, I guess?

Red Velvet and AbsintheI didn’t do as much erotic reading this year, but I was really impressed with one of the volumes that make it on my shelf: Red Velvet and Absinthe. This book has really set the standard as to what I want to see in my clit lit: sex, creativity, unusual settings, paranormal activity. It made me write werewolf erotica. Can you give it a higher recommendation that that? It wasn’t the only book I liked, though. “Crazy Little Thing” might not get you off, but it sure will open your eyes.

Not everything that I tried was on of Sex and Love, however. I recently posted about the strongest vibe I’ve ever tried that doesn’t plug in — the Form 6 G3.  After losing the cord to my Delight, I also bought a new one, and I fuckin’ love it:

This it the type of toy that I really get into. I find myself moaning without thinking about it. The experience is whole-body and wholly primal. Sometimes I just want to get off quickly, and sometimes I want to forget about the world around me. The Delight provides the latter

milk made nourishing bath & shower bubblesI also finally found a product that helps with shaving issues. Unfortunately, it isn’t the end all and be all of shaving. I still managed to get a follicle infection. Ugh. But it’s nice, and seems to be lasting much better than my previous aftershave products.

Only two pieces of lingerie makes this list, but they’re nice enough that I don’t really care that everything else failed miserably.  Coquette’s Holiday ruffled garter belt  is feminine, comfortable and practical to wear. While Baci’s sizing is weird, the lace boyshort is super cute. I like the way it feels on me, and my shrinking ass means it fits better now than when I first got it. Can’t complain.

And now, the last for least. I fuckin’ love Cake Beauty, and I will forever buy Milk Made body wash and shower products until I die.

Like I said, I already know that 2013 will bring with it some positive reviews. I hope to try more new things. I am hoping new romance means more content for this blog. I’ve missed it. I miss all of you. I want to be better, but I’m not quite as happy with or ready to review any ol’ dildo that comes across my doorstep. That’s a good things in terms of my overall satisfaction and the quality of my time spent, but it means less blog fodder, too.

So, what were your favorite products of 2012? Which of my reviews did you like best? Do you have anything to say about anything else I did on this blog or could do in the future? Let me know in the comments!

6 Comments


Waterproof Power Stud Cliterrific

December 29th, 2012

So, I never would have picked this toy by myself. I think the fact that CEN calls it a “dong” is a good indicator of that. It’s essentially a realistic dildo with a vibrator mechanism added in as an afterthought. It’s got veins, a head and some strange bumps that really evoke the image of a dude who shaved about a week ago and is kind of prickly. This isn’t starting off very favorable, is it? I

To be honest. I have nothing positive to say about this one. I’m far too tired to fake it with a vibrator, okay?

It might look realistic ish. If bright pink and pitch black ever are. And the size is about right with 6″ or so of insertable length. But it doesn’t feel realistic. The PVC — again, not my choice — is very plasticy. The product description calls it soft, but it’s soft in the way that plastic is. It’s nothing like silicone. It doesn’t feel good. The veins and head are lost on me because it’s just ick. In your hand, you can tap it with a finger and hear the hardness of the PVC . I don’t know how the hell this made it past the inspection process.

I mean, at least it doesn’t collect lint? I don’t know.

That’s not the only incredibly offensive thing about this toy. Y’all know that I like some power and depth to my vibrators. I shy away from any that take AAA batteries because of this. When I forget, I am always disappointed. The Layaspot is the only exception to this rule ever. With 2AAs, I figured I might not hate this.

Guess what?

I was wrong.

For starters, the control is on the side of the shaft. It points up when this is inserted with the ridiculous nubs upward. When you consider that a) the shaft doesn’t bend or flex and b) I’m not going to insert this down to the giant testicle base, they’re useless, but I digress.

The button on the side of the shaft gives you three levels of steady vibes and they all suck. Or blow. Or fucking rot. Pick one. They’re stupidly week. Like trying to get off by sticking your vulva toward the wind. I don’t even know what that means, but it would probably work better than this.

I gave up in thirty seconds. I’m sorry. This just isn’t a good toy at all.

Maybe you can use this waterproof vibe to clean your tub. I don’t know. Please don’t buy it. If you really want realistic, anything by Vixen is a better bet. While the BOB has the stupid nubs, it at least feels better. The Posh Teaser 2 is definitely stronger, prettier and ultimately more useful in my book, too, if you need something cheap!
CEN Sexpert

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Coming Soon: The Best of 2012

December 15th, 2012

I can’t believe how soon Christmas is approaching. However, I am a little excited to look back on the year and write my sort-of annual “Best of” list. I’ve done it for at least a year and, if I remember, I want to keep it up.

2012 has been slower, both for the sex and love angles of my life. I get the feeling that 2013 will look better. In the mean time, I haven’t tried as many toys as I have in the past years. It’s easy to see when you look at the “Reviews” tab. However, I like to think that more of the toys I have tried have been better, which means the best of list will still be pretty full.

2012 brought with it some pretty awesome vibrators, some decent glass sex toys and even a few firsts. The Sasha harness, which unfortunately won’t make it on the best of list, was a completely new experience for me. It’s hard to believe you can still have new experiences after being at this for four years, yet here I am.

Fortunately, I didn’t have to write twenty reviews on lube. More often than not, I’ve been able to choose the toys I’ve wanted to review. I like to think that I’ve gotten better at knowing which things I will like and those that I will not, but sometimes I’m still not very good at that.

2012 wasn’t all great, though. Having my IUD replaced was something I’d waited an extra year to do. The process was much more uncomfortable than I expected and I might squeeze a post in here about that before January rolls around. I also thought that I was having a strange HPV flareup, which proved to be nothing at all

I’ve finally realized that I really don’t love silicone dildos, either. Sorry Tantus et company. The lingerie I had a chance to try was all pretty disappointing, too. Still, I think I came out on top when all is said and done. I’m looking forward to what 2013 will bring. (A new Fun Factory toy is certainly on that list!) In fact, 2013 might bring with it my first try at a video review. I am excited but mostly incredibly nervous. We’ll see how that all goes down, mmkay?

If the world doesn’t end, I think I will also be more bold when it comes to dating. My ill experience seems more related to overly-high standards than it does the actual quality of people I’m not even meeting. I’ve decided to throw out more messages rather than let less-than-awesome self esteem get me down.

This post wasn’t supposed to be about New Years resolutions, yet is certainly seems to be wrapping up that way, doesn’t it? The common theme seems to be that I want to be more bold. I want to get out of my comfort zone. To be honest, I’ve done a little bit of that already, but I want to keep doing that. I think it will be good for me.

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