Tantric 10-Function Chakra Massager

May 3rd, 2012

There are those who say that a good bullet is something that everyone should have in their collection. I’m kind of a picky beast, but this one goes out to them. The new Tantric line of toys by California Exotics caught my eye. The pink and black is my kind of girly and there’s this element of filigree or something similar that’s really up my alley.

With this little bullet, which is larger than the ones by Tantus but more cylindrical than an egg, this design feature is on the handle. It looks like a solid layer of pink with black plastic wrapped around it. You can see through to the pink plastic through the open areas in the design, which are cut out. Now, if this was on the toy itself, I’d be a little wary to use it because of cleaning, but it’s not. Worked into the handle is a soft heart-shaped button. It’s actually kind of discreet but you don’t need instructions to read it. This only adds to its feminine appeal.

The bullet itself is removable from the battery pack with that little jack. I’m not one to switch power sources and I do like the color theme, so this isn’t useful for me. It might be for you. This, paired with the battery cap, makes for a toy that’s not waterproof in the least. The cap screws off from the end of the pack but it’s the style that slides into place and only turns a little bit — like the Layaspot and a few other toys. I prefer a cap that fully screws on.

To its credit, the 2AAAs that power this pack a surprising punch; although, the vibrations are on the buzzy side. The pulsations were pretty impressive and there were multiple strengths of the same pulsation, which I liked. I’m not usually one for patterns but it worked with this bullet. Not all the patterns were as impressive to me.

The steady vibration left a little to be desired, though. It starts on the highest setting and goes down from there. Very few vibrations do that. I don’t want that. Consumers don’t want that. Although the highest setting is okay for a bullet, power queens are going to tired of it and want more, only to go “WTF?!”

After playing with this one for a while, my vulva felt all sorts of buzzy afterward. Although I did get off, it was mostly from a lot of boring into my pubic bone and less because of the bullet itself.

The bullet has a weird circumference seam around a quarter from one end. I can’t feel it in use, but it’s odd. While I do like the velvet cote in my hand, I also can’t feel it in use. The plastic does make clean-up a breeze but, like I said, be careful with the water.

Tantric 10-Function Chakra Massager doesn’t come with any accessories, but that’s not the end of the world. Just toss it in your nightstand or bag, and you needn’t even worry about lint.

CEN Sexpert

11 Comments


Tor II

February 21st, 2012

Tor II

Tor II
$119 from Lelo

So Lelo sent me Tor II. It’s one of those toys that I would be a little more interested in if I had a partner, you know? I’ve never had a lot of luck with cock rings, to begin with. The cheap ones collected lint, got slimy and tore. Vibrating ones were too weak and they’ve been a bitch to get on. My ex, as it turns out, kind of hated them (although he didn’t tell me) so we quickly gave up on the idea, I think. But I figured I’d give the Tor II a try and, because I currently have no partner — douchey or otherwise — I popped it on my favorite cock.

What you need to know about Tex is that it’s squishy, perhaps more than an erect cock would be and it’s got a diameter of 1.5″ middle of the road stuff. Yet, there was no way I was going to get the Tor II on this without some lube. So, lube it up I did. I used a water-based lube because while a high-quality silicone lube may not have reacted with the ring, I sure as hell am more careful when it comes to my VixSkin. I’ve been growing out my nails, though, and I feel like the Tor II is just not quite stretchy enough. My nails were digging into the dildo. How would a many like it? I’ll give you a hint: he wouldn’t.

The thing is, I don’t think that silicone can be at stretchy as some other materials and I’m not sure how thin it can be before it breaks. Which means that you’re not going to want to use this cock ring on a cock much larger than the dildo I used. Granted, it may be easier on a flaccid penis but bringing in the testicles is going to present it’s own pair of challenges — haha — and the whole experience requires a bit of time and patience and just isn’t fun. Plus, the ring is actually a flat-ish silicone band that’s about 1/2″ wide so you have to make sure it’s not inside out. One thing I found interesting is that the band of the ring isn’t a flat strip. If, you were to cut it in half and look at it from the side, it would look like this ]. On the top and bottom, it angles inward, toward the penis. I don’t think it’s something you would feel but it bugs me when I clean it. I just don’t understand why it’s not flat, like so |.

So, it wasn’t the easiest thing I’ve ever done and my imaginary VixSkin man was in pain but I got it on. And then I turned it on, which wasn’t so easy either. By that time, my fingers were covered in lube and, as I said, I have fingernails now. The buttons are round and slightly concave areas on either side of the cock ring. Like the new third button on JeJoue’s Uma, Mimi, etc. The design is just really hard for me to use and the fustration isn’t sexy.

But if your fingers fit better, the buttons make sense. There’s only two of them. + and -. If you can’t figure out how to use them, you probably couldn’t figure out how to open the box so just walk away. Speaking of the box, mine advertises a dark green toy. Because it was part of the first batch, this was an error. Mine is a pretty medium purple. I don’t mind it but I was just surprised.

So I turned this on and right up to the highest steady vibration level because the vibrations are pretty weak and buzzy. I mean, there’s more impressive than some bullets and the other vibrating rings that I’ve used but I generally opt for clitoral vibrations that are more noticeable. Even though I wasn’t impressed, my body responded more than I thought and there was some miniscule orgasms even before I started my real experimenting.

As I guessed, thrusting wasn’t super fun. I don’t enjoy the buzz/no-buzz/buzz/no-buzz sensation. I prefer constant contact until I get off, damn it! However, I was super surprised that the shape of the ring worked so well for me. It’s square and wide and horizontal and I figured my fluffy vulva would just get in the way. What I found out, though, is that if I am able to hold the dildo still (or if a partner were to stay still), I can grind up against the base of the dildo and the Tor II pretty successfully. The width actually provides a broader contact space, which I do like. It also helped the vibrations to more deeply resonate in my body. The buzzy vibrations left the pulsation and escalation feeling more lackluster, though.

Despite the hassle, I can see myself using this with a dildo again. I can see myself using it often. It was different and grinding against it was pretty damned pleasurable. The smaller size wasn’t fighting for space with the base of the dildo, either. The problem is, this is designed for couples but I feel like it’s not actually going to do much good while you’re thrusting. Unless you enjoy general vibrations in the sort-of genital area, you’ll probably be disappointed. It works for me as a masturbatory aid but I wouldn’t spend $120 on something that isn’t a bit more versatile.

However, it is rechargeable and waterproof and comes with a storage pouch and Lelo’s warranty. If you’re a collector of Lelo’s products or already know that you like cock rings and are sensitive to light vibrations, then this may be a good option for you.

Lelo Tor II

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Trojan Midnight Collection Multi-position Vibrator

February 17th, 2012

The Trojan Midnight Collection vibrator gets a pass from me. In fact, almost a glowing review.

Unlike some G-spot vibrators, this one offers a little girth in addition to the effective G-spot curve. The ridges in the silicone and rigid inner mechanism allow you to easily stimulate your g-spot while feeling fulled. Because the curve of this vibrator is less extreme than the Pure Wand, for example, it doesn’t curl back on you to stab you in the pubic mound.

The multi-position feature is a joint in the center that allows you to turn the shaft in several places so it becomes a gentle “S” shape again. This might be easier to use depending on your position of specific preferences and it also makes this toy better for partner play than the Pure Wand.

The buttons are easy to use and find, which is something that even the big names struggle with (I’m talking about you JeJoue!). One button turns on and up vibrations while the other turns down or off the vibrations. The soft, silicone buttons are located on the end of the toy — that curves toward you when using it as a “C” shape — and are raised. They’re easy to press whether your hands are covers in lube or you have nails. Sweet!

The vibrations are powered by 2AA batteries so they fall in the moderately rumbly side of things. I like AAs. They’re my power-source of choice if I’m using battery-powered toys. The first setting is lackluster so I turned it up a few times and found the sweet spot that make me squirt and squirt and squirt. It took me by surprise.

I am pretty impressed with the look of this vibrator. The hard plastic has this sheen to it that seems very luxurious. The layer of silicone over the insertable portion is a little squishy, unlike many silicone-coated vibrators. Squishy enough that my cats have already chewed on it, ha! The ridges are very prominent and not suitable for someone who doesn’t enjoy intense stimulation.

Although it is clear in the images, I cannot stress how large this toy is. It’s materials aren’t very heavy; however, smaller hands may have a harder time grasping the entire handle. I would have expected Trojan to market a toy for sex toy newbies and while they may enjoy this, the person who will love this vibrator best is really the one who wants full, intense stimulation with moderate vibrations.

If the Trojan Midnight Collection Multi-position Vibrator were the only G-spot vibrator in my collection, I’d be happy. I would recommend it to others but I do think the price is a bit steep. Babeland doesn’t offer a lot of vibratos in this same price range so this one is filling a gap. You couldn’t wrong saving $20 and buying the Fun Factory Boss instead.

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Leaf Spirit

January 16th, 2012

The Spirit was the vibrator that I wanted the most out of the Leaf line. It’s ergonomic design called to me because I’m a clit vibe type of girl. I wasn’t able to review it directly from BMS but Our Naughty Secrets sent one my way. I figured I’d have a pretty good idea of the piece considering that I’d already used one but, as it turns out, that wasn’t quite the case.

My Spirit wasn’t charged when I opened the box so I set it up to charge for a couple hours. Immediately, I made note of how much smaller the Spirit is than I expected. When I plugged the charger into the port, which sits vertically through the widest part of the vibrator, it felt as though the plug was going to stab out the other end of the toy. In fact, it must have been designed to just fit the plug.

At just 2.8″ in width, and with its contours, the Spirit is a palm-type vibrator if I’ve ever seen one. Although, I don’t cup my hand around my vulva to masturbate to the idea of a palm vibrator is kind of weird to begin with. However, it’s perfect for use during sex, even though I haven’t been able to use it that way. The Lead website states it is 1.8″ tall and that would be true if it were rectangular. Really, at its widest in the middle, it’s more like 1″, which is similar to the length of the plug.

As it curves into a gentle “C” shapes, the ends taper as well. The end that would make contact with your clit also narrows to a point while the other rounds out, to cup your vulva. When you hold the vibrator so that it curves against your mons pubis, the single button it on top (and well as the port). Of course, this makes sense but I found the button to sit more flush with the Spirit than the Fresh so I have a more difficult time finding it. I have to keep my finger on it or stop using it to visually locate the button. Although the button lights up, I tend to hold it in a position where I cannot see it.

Like all toys that use this type of control, it works. Press and hold to raise the vibrations and the button blinks more rapidly as you raise vibrations. A single push turns it off. Because there’s no settings, there’s no confusion. There’s also not a lot to drool for. For whatever reason, the PowerBullet technology feels much weaker and buzzier in the Spirit. If vibrations alone are what I was looking for, I would have been disappointed. I quickly became immune to them.

Spirit has the hollow sounding vibrations and the slight electronic whine that I noticed of the Fresh. It’s a little annoying but others may not notice. Considering the size, it’s a little loud. I have quieter bullets, for example.

The shape also left a little to be desired. I think it would be great pressed between bodies during partner play but to get any sort of pressure, I need to apply force with my fingers and the small surface space meant I accidentally turned this thing off, more often than not. I’m not as big a fan of pinpoint stimulation as some are, either. I do like the layer of squishy silicone that coats the outside of this sex toy. There’s a noticable squish on the pointed end which I think led to me enjoying this vibrator a little more than I would have. I did try to use the rounded end but to little success. It’s too much of an edge for me. The small size will actually fit into some panties. I gave it a whirl and was able to walk around with it vibrating away.

The squishy silicone, sadly, picks up lint and fur like crazy. It’s easy enough to rinse off with soap and water but makes toy wipes a little less useful. Like the entire Leaf line, the Spirit is meant to be waterproof and I’ve had no trouble with that during cleaning. It’s easier to see on the Spirit how the silicone stretches around the charging port, offering protection from liquids.

I do have to say that one full charge only lasted me one masturbation session. Granted, it was probably around 30 minutes, mostly on the highest speed and involved a couple orgasms but the manual guarantees at least 40 minutes (1 hour and 15 on the lower setting). It just died on me randomly and I wasn’t quite done.

Of course, this one comes in a cardboard box with a manual, canvas bag and charger. The bag is the same size for all the toys and Spirit feels a little swamped in its home. I’m slightly dubious that it’s as green as its color but that’s not really a selling point for me.

I probably like Fresh a little better, surprisingly. However, I would recommend this as a toy for couples during sex or either for a palm-based massage. If you lube it up — water-based, please! — it could make for a good back or muscle massager if light stimulation is for you.

1 Comment


Leaf Fresh

January 4th, 2012

If you haven’t heard of BMS’s new line of vibrators under the Leaf moniker, then I’ll assume you were either dead or in a cave for several months. The folks over there graciously asked me if I’d review a Leaf vibrator and I said “yes.” Although I’m not usually a big fan of the color green, it certainly evoked the idea of eco-friendly in my mind and it was refreshing. I sent over my top three choices and, unfortunately, I didn’t get one on my list so I was a little less than thrilled to hear I’d be getting the Fresh.

When I got the Fresh, however, I changed my tune. The palm-sized vibrator is shaped similar to a stylized heart, with two rounds on top and a vertex at the bottom. The single push button rests on one of the top rounds while the other, as well as the point on the bottom, provide two different options for contact.

What really piqued my interest, though, was how strong the vibrator was when I opened the box. The manual says that you should charge it first but mine was already charged so I was able to see both how strong and intuitive it is to use. The button is similar to the Jopen vibes. Press and hold to increase vibrations. Push one to turn it off. There’s only one button because Fresh only offers steady vibrations. It’s definitely something I could get used to and the button is both slightly raised and lights up so that you can find it easily.

When I first turned the Fresh all the way up, I couldn’t handle it in my hand. I was definitely impressed with the strength and had to start over, gradually increasing it so that I could handle it. With that said, while the vibrations started moderately deep, the higher settings were definitely buzzy. Fresh does cover a variety of depths and strengths so I imagine many people would enjoy it, unless you need Hitachi-strength and depth vibes.

Unfortunately, in use, the vibrations started out nicely but I quickly became “immune” to them. They felt far more surface-level against my clit than they did against my hand and that turned from what I expected to be a quick orgasm to one that needed more effort from my hand and outside help via some awesome erotica. I was really surprised that this was the case because of my initial experience with the vibrator. After I stopped playing, my entire vulva had the tingly, over-vibrated feel but it sure didn’t seem like that was the case while I was trying to get off.

Of course, I’m sure many people will have no problem with the vibrations. The shape could also be a deal-breaker for some. I tried with both the rounded edge and pointed edge against my clit, holding the Fresh in a vertical position. I liked that I could hold it vertically because it provided a somewhat hands-free experience, if I wasn’t requiring pressure or movement. The pointed edge definitely offers a more pinpoint stimulation, if that’s your thing, but I found them to both be a little too narrow for my preferences. From the product images, I would guess BMS is suggesting you stick to the pointed edge for clit stim as that makes it slightly easier to press the button.

I did find myself accidentally pressing that button and turning off the vibrator a few times. That happens will smaller toys that don’t have room for me to apply pressure. I may just be a little clumsy in that area, too. Still, turning it back on is pretty easy.

The packaging describes this as a soft touch toy and it makes sense when you feel the silicone: the outer layer feels plush and offers some give but its over a rigid form. The silicone is closer to the shiny type than the velvety, offering a lot of drag against the skin so you may want to use water-based lubed, especially if you’re using one of the internal toys.

Although the package calls this waterproof, there’s still a visible port for plugging in the adapter. I don’t submerge toys so I don’t have a problem with it and I wasn’t particularly careful when washing but I find this intriguing. Since I can’t see inside the hole, I have no idea what’s going on. I really like that the adapter has the Lead logo on it, though. Remember when I ruined my WeVibe with the adapter mix-up? Yea, don’t wanna do that again.

The Fresh washes up with soap and water but does collect a bit of lint. You can store it in the provided bag which is brown canvas and features the Leaf logo. It seems they use the same bag for all the toys because this one is definitely overly large for the Fresh. I like bags that fit better, I suppose.

Like the bag, the box is a brown as well and made from recycled cardboard. Some folks have been saying this product isn’t as eco-friendly as BMS would have you believe and I can understand where they come from. The toy and adapter are still wrapped in plastic, the box is big and bulky, there’s a paper manual, and silicone and the internal battery are ultimately difficult to recycle. Leaf vibes don’t seem any more green to me, color aside, than most rechargeable toys I have.

So, Leaf vibes and the Fresh will work for some people but it wasn’t perfect for me. It still seemed high quality and it’s nice to have another ption if you’re a sexy toy connoisseur.

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Silicone Jack Rabbit

November 27th, 2011

Cal Exotics has released their classic jack rabbit in a new silicone formula and, in general, I approve. The line up includes blue, pink, purple and white models. The silicone itself is smooth with a bit of drag so you’ll probably want to use a bit of your favorite water-based lube with this one.

This vibrator only offers 5″ insertable and has a diameter of 1.5″ at the widest point, which is where the beads are, slightly more than halfway down the shaft. The shaft has a rounded, contoured head and there are several protruding bulges on the back of the shaft, just under the head, making a Y shape.

The beads are arranged on several vertical poles and all of them move, either clockwise or counter-clockwise. The clitoral attachment is, traditionally, a rabbit with soft, squishy ears. His nose extends toward the body as well.

The controls on this one could be a little more intuitive. There’s a squiggly line which turns on the vibrations. Pressing it again cycles through three modes of steady vibration as well as pulsation. There are three heart-shaped LED lights below this button that light up or blink in tune with the setting. There are three more buttons. An up arrow and a down arrow. Pressing the up arrow turns on the bead movement, of which there are three speeds. Pressing the down arrow does the opposite while the last button, which features arrows, changes directions. I wanted to press this button, though, because of how the main vibration button works. It seems off balanced to have three buttons for one function and a single for the other.

Because the silicone jack rabbit uses 3AAs, the vibrations in the clitoral attachment are pretty impressive. It’s the giant bullet style that I tend to like, too. The ears offer a lot of movement but I tend to prefer to press the body of the rabbit against my clit. The larger size will extend about 1.5″ (without the ears) to 2.5″ with the ears.

The beads are also pretty strong. I can stop them with my hand but only if I’m really squeezing it.

This rabbit features the easy remove battery pack. The cover has a knob you grasp to turn it. I find it a bit difficult because the cap is a shiny plastic. My fingers want to slip around and it takes a lot of effort to turn it in and out of place. There’s is a permanent O-ring around the area where the battery pack sits. It’s more secure-looking than many I’ve seen. I don’t use my toys in wet settings, typically, but I have no fear this toy will stand up during washing with soap and water. You could also use a toy wipe or cleaning spray, though.

This vibrator is priced lower than some of the Couture Collection and based on power alone, I think it’s a better deal. But it’s MSRP of $81.99 seems slightly high in my book. but Sextoy.com sells it for much less, a more reasonable price. At If you’re a diehard fan of the rabbit and want one that is higher quality than many on the market, you might consider the silicone jack rabbit.

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Vanity by Jopen #4

November 3rd, 2011

FunWares was kind enough to send me the VR-4. This marks the third Vanity by Jopen rabbit that I’ve tried and the third that I didn’t like. All the shapes are just slightly different enough that I find it hard to figure out which would work for me. The Vr. 6 was extremely rigid. Like Lelo’s Ina, it was a little pinchy.. but I liked the vibrations.

The Jopen #4 actually differs in that the neck of the shaft is quite flexible so you can experiment a little more with positions. This means it may work better for a variety of users.. or so I’d guess. The head of the shaft is a rigid silicone, however, so you can still get pressure where you need it.

The shaft is also more angular, too. First, it curves backward to accommodate the pubic bone. Then is curves forward, toward the G-spot. The very tip curves very slightly back once more. In use, it really presses up against the G-spot. This is good for squirting — I did a lot — and makes me feel fuller but the angle isn’t so good for thrusting. I find myself having to be a little more careful. #4 provides direct stimulation in the way that’s best for users who like to hold a vibrator against their G-spot. The angles make the 3.5″x 1.5″ shaft feel much larger than it is, in my experience. My cervix is a little unhappy.

The insertable portion runs on its own motor that is powered by a single button. I’ve described that in detail here so I won’t do it again. I like it but I’m not used to it. Every time I reach for a Jopen toy, I have to relearn the buttons. Unless CEN plans to make all its toys operate in this manner, I think maybe it should consider not reinventing the wheel.

The clitoral arm is also more flexible. It doesn’t seem to have the motor right in it but just under it so the vibrations here are weaker than I recall the Vr 6. The silicone provides a firm but flexible stimulation that I would like, except the arms just too damned short for me. It measures just over an inch long and is about 4/5″ wide. It probably wouldn’t provide the broad pressure I like if it did reach, though. The clitoral stimulator gets its own button. See above for my thoughts.

Overall, the Vanity by Jopen #4 seemed a little less powerful than other Jopen vibrators. This especially noticeable in the clitoral arm. At times, the shaft motor also seemed jerky. This isn’t something I’ve experienced before and it’s not a deal-breaker but it’s interesting enough to note.

Like the other toys in the line, this toy is rechargeable (there’s a light on the toy itself to indicate status) and comes with the adapter and a super large storage bag. I mentioned it before, but it’s so stretchy that it’s almost unwieldy. I’m not a fan. Jopen vibes are all waterproof, made of non-porous silicone and not compatible with silicone lubes.

The flexibility is the strongest feature of the Vanity by Jopen #4. I like how it creates more room for the pubic bone, too but it does so in a way that presses toward the back vaginal wall and I don’t like that so much. If you want a decently powered vibrator and think that this one will fit your proportions, you could do much worse.

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Lelo Tiani

October 23rd, 2011

Tiani

Tiani
$159 from Lelo

By now, you’re probably seen the press releases and more than a handful reviews about Lelo’s new toys, which the company released over a month ago. These additions to the Insignia range are all wireless and use what Lelo is calling SenseMotion technology to operate. Lelo was kind enough to offer me my choice for review so I opted for the Tiani, the toy that I felt would be easier to review without a partner, which is basically a smaller version of the WeVibe in a silky silicone. However, the Lyla, Oden and Tiani are best intended for partner use. So while I want to thank Lelo, I was to be absolutely clear that they missed the mark and this is why.

Tiani is too damned weak and buzzy. Even on its highest setting, it barely registers as more than a tickle. There’s not enough variance between the low and high and the pitch is too high for any sort of pulsation to be stimulating. If you need anything stronger than a watch battery bullet, the Tiani is not for you. This is especially disappointing considering how deep the WeVibe’s vibrations are, even if they aren’t that strong.

Tiani is confusing. I don’t like having to read directions. There, I said it and, you know what, who wants to have to sit down and read a book to figure out how to operate their sex toy? But I had to, from beginning to end. First, I had to figure out how to charge it. Here’s a tip, the plastic band in the middle of the toy is actually where the toy parts twist together. The adapter plugs into one end once you take it apart. The plastic band around the toy itself isn’t seamless and the way the pieces screw together seems very cheap. The Insignia line is supposed to be waterproof but this design doesn’t even include a removable O-ring. My Alia seemed a little safer. However, I doubt the shower or pool would be an ideal place to use it anyway, considering the weak vibes and remote problems.

Then I had to figure out how to use it. You have to press a button on the remove and then a button on the controller, then another button on the toy itself to activate it. Then you have to figure out how SenseMotion works, which leads me to my next point.

SenseMotion is novel but not practical in the least. Thank god Lelo still allows you to use the remote normally but there’s two super weird settings you have to pass first. For starters, the first mode relies on the position of the remote. Flip it vertically to raise vibrations, back down to lower them. The controller itself vibrates to offer feedback to the user. That’s kind of a neat idea but also means the controller makes noise so that limits where and when you might be able to use the SenseMotion toys, in my opinion. In the first mode, a back and forth movement simulates pulsation. Well, sort of. There’s this bit delay of between movement and the vibration in the Tiani and it’s hard to get a good rhythm going.

The second mode, which you can activate by pressing the middle of three buttons, simply requires you to move the controller faster to increase the intensity of the vibrations. This means, that if you want to use the vibrations at the highest setting, you need to shake it pretty good.. which also works against it being inconspicuous as so many wireless vibrators aim to be. It’s also tiring and annoying.

The third mode is one where you simply press the + arrow to increase vibrations and the – arrow to decrease. It’s the one I like the most because it makes sense and doesn’t require too much concentration. I wish the controller turned onto this mode instead. There are eight settings, including pulsation and escalation and I swear the controller is more powerful than the Tiani itself.

Aside from awkwardness and confusion, the Tiani is rechargeable but still requires batteries. Man, I hate that about wireless toys. It’s the controller that requires batteries, 2 AAAs to be exact. Insertion is kind of a bitch. The battery cover is designed so that you have to use a little key to open it, or potentially a fingernail. I don’t know. I was so excited to try it out that I somehow use my fingers and force to just press it open but it sucked. Then you insert the batteries and closing the case is much more difficult without the key that I didn’t even realized existed because..

Tiani comes with too much damned stuff. Seriously. Manual, batteries, key, brooch, packet of lube, controller, vibrator, storage pouch. The controller, brooch and vibe sit on top of foam inserts and everything else sits under, in the hollow of the box. My batteries and key actually got wedged in there so I didn’t realize there was a key to open it until I read another review. Opening the battery compartment then became so much easier but why does Lelo think the consumer needs all this crap? I can almost guarantee I’m going to lose the key and the only reason I won’t lose the brooch is because I’ll never take it out of the box. It’s all a lot to keep an eye on.

At the end of the day, I wouldn’t mind but the Tiani just doesn’t work very well. The remote starts to fail as soon as any objects come between it and the vibrator. In mode three, the remote can’t even transmit through a thin layer of fabric, let alone walls. I’m not a fan of the shape either. The insertable part is smaller than that of the WeVibe, which may be better for using during intercourse, but also makes it more difficult to adequately stimulated my G-spot. The arm is also extremely flexible so it’s difficult to get a lot of pressure. Paired with the weak vibrations, the Tiani didn’t do much for me. Plus, the silky silicone is so slippery. There’s no good place to hold for insertion or to get just the right angle. My fingers kept slipping off.

The Tiani also has a ridiculously short battery life. After charging completely, I was able to use it once and play with it, for testing purposes, twice. We’re talking far less than an hour here. The Tiani’s meager vibrations are a freaking battery hog.

So we have a vibrator that isn’t very good, a wireless control that doesn’t work very well, a rechargeable toy that also needs batteries. The Lelo Tiani just doesn’t do much right besides looking pretty and even that’s a stretch.

Lelo Tiani

2 Comments


My Mini-Miracle Massager Pleasure Kit

October 12th, 2011

Sometimes toys make it to the shelf with such a design flaw that I really have to wonder “What were they thinking?” Such is the case with the My Mini-Miracle Massager Pleasure Kit. I was perplexed as soon as I opened the box but, you see, the description is kind of misleading. According to the website, “This complete kit contains 2 soft pliable attachments with the world famous Mini Miracle Massager.” So you would expect to receive a Mini Miracle Massager with some attachments and that, that I can live with. I would expect not to love every attachment but have a functional massager nevertheless.

Wrong.

The problem is that it’s not a Mini Miracle Massager with some attachments (although, that already exists). It’s a model based off the Mini Miracle Massager but there’s a permanent fixture on the head onto which you place attachments. The attachments are not part of a cup that goes over the head; rather, they both have a little hole that slides onto an awkwardly placed knob on the side of the wand. Perhaps it wouldn’t seem so awkward if you only used the pleasure kit for vaginal/internal stimulation because then you can aim the extension up and hold the handle perpendicular to your body. Unfortunately, I think of this type of toy as clitoral by default –and the tongue-shaped attachment certainly supports my conclusion — so I don’t want to do that.

Mini Miracle Massager Probe AttachmentI tried anyway. I put the little nubby attachment on first after giving it a good scrubbing. From the side, it looks like a guy with a giant nose (a lot like this guy, actually). While the TPE attachments may be Phthalate-free, they freaking stink. I mean, pew! As suspected, the placement was awkwrd and the shape less than ideal for clitoral stimulation. I didn’t get off.

I had even less success with the tongue shape. I couldn’t figure out what I was supposed to do with it. The most comfortable way to hold it implies internal stimulation but I don’t like tongue-shapes inside of me. In order to align the tongue with my clit, I’d either have to point the end of the handle between my knees or down toward my abdomen so that was a no-go either.

My Mini Miracle MassagerI’d like to say the massager itself was redeemed but it’s not because you can’t use it by itself. There’s a sticky-offy knobby thing that not only gets in the way but feels pretty unhygienic, too.The knob itself it unfinished so water can get into it. The same is true for the extensions. You have a little less room to get in there and dry things off when you clean it, which I don’t like.

California Exotics has kept the same springy head and easy to use controls as the regular Miracle Massager, which I still love. There’s two speeds and an off. Unfortunately, this toy is pretty loud and not discreet at all. The vibrations are quite strong but not as deep as the Miracle Massager. I would definitely use it alone, if not for the head.

I’m not a fan of the power cord that detaches, either. I get them confused and it makes me thinks toys are rechargeable, when they’re not. I don’t understand the point. This one is pretty long — upwards of three feet — but the adapter itself is really large and clunky and annoying.

Annoying just about sums up the My Mini-Miracle Massager Pleasure Kit. Just buy your Mini Miracle Massager and attachments separately.

CEN Sexpert

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BSoft Burgundy

September 23rd, 2011

To say that I like the new Bsoft rather than the original would be a drastic understatement, I think. Yet, I’m not entirely sure why I like it so much better.

Perhaps it is because the exterior is now coated in a super silky silicone that feels a little less.. clinical than the hard, smooth plastic of the first go-round. It’s definitely friendlier, somehow. It also seems to lessen the feeling that this is a hollow piece of crap. The super light and hollow feeling of the original was a let-down. Now, a sex toy doesn’t need to be heavy to work well but it just cheapened the feel.

While the shapes are definitely related, there are some definite improvements. The ridge on the bottom of the new Bsoft is more pronounced and runs the entire length of the bottom of the toy, rather than flattening out toward the end. In use, I find this makes it much easier to apply pressure the way I like; however, the tapered bottom still fits well between labia.

The old model had three buttons and this uses the bubbly buttons like on the BCurious. I like the buttons. They’re easy to find, are surrounded by an LED light and made an audible clicking noise when pushed. Great feedback there. Of course, one button servers as a master on/off while the other pages through settings so it’s not as intuitive as it could be but, hey, at least you can turn it off quickly.

The vibration settings on this one include three steady modes and four varieties of pulsation. One’s really quick, and the other is one of those buzz-buzz-buzzzz types but they’re kind of forgettable, in my opinion. I believe I wound up using the highest constant vibration setting and, let it be known, that this setting isn’t that high. For example, I’m still more impressed by the vibration of BSwish’s original bullet and, like many toys, the new Bsoft has moderately shallow vibrations that only get more shallow as you turn it up. Still, they don’t feel as shallow and empty as the original.

I think it has to do with the way the silicone transmits them and all that the new Bsoft uses its real estate better. What I mean by that is it’s not as big and hulking as the original (Kayla has some pics here). Although they both seem to be the same length (I no longer have my original to verify), the second edition is just so much more compact. There’s not as much surface space to weaken the vibrations. Even though they’re clearly focused at the tip, away from the button, you can still feel them on the other end. It’s also much easier to wield. The bottom line, for me, is that the new Bsoft can get me off. Sure, not without some work, but its leaps and bounds better than the other.

For the strength of this toy, I do find the noise level to be a little high. Not wake-the-dead high but hmm-that’s-a-little-loud high.

I also like the design better. You can get it in a burgundy, like mine, or a dark blue with burgundy details. One improvement over the design is the location of the USB port. It used to be on the end of the toy with an oddly angled cover that rarely stayed in place. It’s been moved to the side of the vibrator with a flat port cover that lies flush with the toy. It sits in place much better and makes cleaning so much more easy!

While this sophomore attempt is a definite improvement, and I like it far more than the BCurious as well, it’s not the toy I’m going to reach for by default. Still, it’s also not one of those toys that I’ll never reach for again. How’s that for middle ground?

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