Silicone Jack Rabbit

November 27th, 2011

Cal Exotics has released their classic jack rabbit in a new silicone formula and, in general, I approve. The line up includes blue, pink, purple and white models. The silicone itself is smooth with a bit of drag so you’ll probably want to use a bit of your favorite water-based lube with this one.

This vibrator only offers 5″ insertable and has a diameter of 1.5″ at the widest point, which is where the beads are, slightly more than halfway down the shaft. The shaft has a rounded, contoured head and there are several protruding bulges on the back of the shaft, just under the head, making a Y shape.

The beads are arranged on several vertical poles and all of them move, either clockwise or counter-clockwise. The clitoral attachment is, traditionally, a rabbit with soft, squishy ears. His nose extends toward the body as well.

The controls on this one could be a little more intuitive. There’s a squiggly line which turns on the vibrations. Pressing it again cycles through three modes of steady vibration as well as pulsation. There are three heart-shaped LED lights below this button that light up or blink in tune with the setting. There are three more buttons. An up arrow and a down arrow. Pressing the up arrow turns on the bead movement, of which there are three speeds. Pressing the down arrow does the opposite while the last button, which features arrows, changes directions. I wanted to press this button, though, because of how the main vibration button works. It seems off balanced to have three buttons for one function and a single for the other.

Because the silicone jack rabbit uses 3AAs, the vibrations in the clitoral attachment are pretty impressive. It’s the giant bullet style that I tend to like, too. The ears offer a lot of movement but I tend to prefer to press the body of the rabbit against my clit. The larger size will extend about 1.5″ (without the ears) to 2.5″ with the ears.

The beads are also pretty strong. I can stop them with my hand but only if I’m really squeezing it.

This rabbit features the easy remove battery pack. The cover has a knob you grasp to turn it. I find it a bit difficult because the cap is a shiny plastic. My fingers want to slip around and it takes a lot of effort to turn it in and out of place. There’s is a permanent O-ring around the area where the battery pack sits. It’s more secure-looking than many I’ve seen. I don’t use my toys in wet settings, typically, but I have no fear this toy will stand up during washing with soap and water. You could also use a toy wipe or cleaning spray, though.

This vibrator is priced lower than some of the Couture Collection and based on power alone, I think it’s a better deal. But it’s MSRP of $81.99 seems slightly high in my book. but sells it for much less, a more reasonable price. At If you’re a diehard fan of the rabbit and want one that is higher quality than many on the market, you might consider the silicone jack rabbit.


Vanity by Jopen #4

November 3rd, 2011

FunWares was kind enough to send me the VR-4. This marks the third Vanity by Jopen rabbit that I’ve tried and the third that I didn’t like. All the shapes are just slightly different enough that I find it hard to figure out which would work for me. The Vr. 6 was extremely rigid. Like Lelo’s Ina, it was a little pinchy.. but I liked the vibrations.

The Jopen #4 actually differs in that the neck of the shaft is quite flexible so you can experiment a little more with positions. This means it may work better for a variety of users.. or so I’d guess. The head of the shaft is a rigid silicone, however, so you can still get pressure where you need it.

The shaft is also more angular, too. First, it curves backward to accommodate the pubic bone. Then is curves forward, toward the G-spot. The very tip curves very slightly back once more. In use, it really presses up against the G-spot. This is good for squirting — I did a lot — and makes me feel fuller but the angle isn’t so good for thrusting. I find myself having to be a little more careful. #4 provides direct stimulation in the way that’s best for users who like to hold a vibrator against their G-spot. The angles make the 3.5″x 1.5″ shaft feel much larger than it is, in my experience. My cervix is a little unhappy.

The insertable portion runs on its own motor that is powered by a single button. I’ve described that in detail here so I won’t do it again. I like it but I’m not used to it. Every time I reach for a Jopen toy, I have to relearn the buttons. Unless CEN plans to make all its toys operate in this manner, I think maybe it should consider not reinventing the wheel.

The clitoral arm is also more flexible. It doesn’t seem to have the motor right in it but just under it so the vibrations here are weaker than I recall the Vr 6. The silicone provides a firm but flexible stimulation that I would like, except the arms just too damned short for me. It measures just over an inch long and is about 4/5″ wide. It probably wouldn’t provide the broad pressure I like if it did reach, though. The clitoral stimulator gets its own button. See above for my thoughts.

Overall, the Vanity by Jopen #4 seemed a little less powerful than other Jopen vibrators. This especially noticeable in the clitoral arm. At times, the shaft motor also seemed jerky. This isn’t something I’ve experienced before and it’s not a deal-breaker but it’s interesting enough to note.

Like the other toys in the line, this toy is rechargeable (there’s a light on the toy itself to indicate status) and comes with the adapter and a super large storage bag. I mentioned it before, but it’s so stretchy that it’s almost unwieldy. I’m not a fan. Jopen vibes are all waterproof, made of non-porous silicone and not compatible with silicone lubes.

The flexibility is the strongest feature of the Vanity by Jopen #4. I like how it creates more room for the pubic bone, too but it does so in a way that presses toward the back vaginal wall and I don’t like that so much. If you want a decently powered vibrator and think that this one will fit your proportions, you could do much worse.


Lelo Tiani

October 23rd, 2011


$159 from Lelo

By now, you’re probably seen the press releases and more than a handful reviews about Lelo’s new toys, which the company released over a month ago. These additions to the Insignia range are all wireless and use what Lelo is calling SenseMotion technology to operate. Lelo was kind enough to offer me my choice for review so I opted for the Tiani, the toy that I felt would be easier to review without a partner, which is basically a smaller version of the WeVibe in a silky silicone. However, the Lyla, Oden and Tiani are best intended for partner use. So while I want to thank Lelo, I was to be absolutely clear that they missed the mark and this is why.

Tiani is too damned weak and buzzy. Even on its highest setting, it barely registers as more than a tickle. There’s not enough variance between the low and high and the pitch is too high for any sort of pulsation to be stimulating. If you need anything stronger than a watch battery bullet, the Tiani is not for you. This is especially disappointing considering how deep the WeVibe’s vibrations are, even if they aren’t that strong.

Tiani is confusing. I don’t like having to read directions. There, I said it and, you know what, who wants to have to sit down and read a book to figure out how to operate their sex toy? But I had to, from beginning to end. First, I had to figure out how to charge it. Here’s a tip, the plastic band in the middle of the toy is actually where the toy parts twist together. The adapter plugs into one end once you take it apart. The plastic band around the toy itself isn’t seamless and the way the pieces screw together seems very cheap. The Insignia line is supposed to be waterproof but this design doesn’t even include a removable O-ring. My Alia seemed a little safer. However, I doubt the shower or pool would be an ideal place to use it anyway, considering the weak vibes and remote problems.

Then I had to figure out how to use it. You have to press a button on the remove and then a button on the controller, then another button on the toy itself to activate it. Then you have to figure out how SenseMotion works, which leads me to my next point.

SenseMotion is novel but not practical in the least. Thank god Lelo still allows you to use the remote normally but there’s two super weird settings you have to pass first. For starters, the first mode relies on the position of the remote. Flip it vertically to raise vibrations, back down to lower them. The controller itself vibrates to offer feedback to the user. That’s kind of a neat idea but also means the controller makes noise so that limits where and when you might be able to use the SenseMotion toys, in my opinion. In the first mode, a back and forth movement simulates pulsation. Well, sort of. There’s this bit delay of between movement and the vibration in the Tiani and it’s hard to get a good rhythm going.

The second mode, which you can activate by pressing the middle of three buttons, simply requires you to move the controller faster to increase the intensity of the vibrations. This means, that if you want to use the vibrations at the highest setting, you need to shake it pretty good.. which also works against it being inconspicuous as so many wireless vibrators aim to be. It’s also tiring and annoying.

The third mode is one where you simply press the + arrow to increase vibrations and the – arrow to decrease. It’s the one I like the most because it makes sense and doesn’t require too much concentration. I wish the controller turned onto this mode instead. There are eight settings, including pulsation and escalation and I swear the controller is more powerful than the Tiani itself.

Aside from awkwardness and confusion, the Tiani is rechargeable but still requires batteries. Man, I hate that about wireless toys. It’s the controller that requires batteries, 2 AAAs to be exact. Insertion is kind of a bitch. The battery cover is designed so that you have to use a little key to open it, or potentially a fingernail. I don’t know. I was so excited to try it out that I somehow use my fingers and force to just press it open but it sucked. Then you insert the batteries and closing the case is much more difficult without the key that I didn’t even realized existed because..

Tiani comes with too much damned stuff. Seriously. Manual, batteries, key, brooch, packet of lube, controller, vibrator, storage pouch. The controller, brooch and vibe sit on top of foam inserts and everything else sits under, in the hollow of the box. My batteries and key actually got wedged in there so I didn’t realize there was a key to open it until I read another review. Opening the battery compartment then became so much easier but why does Lelo think the consumer needs all this crap? I can almost guarantee I’m going to lose the key and the only reason I won’t lose the brooch is because I’ll never take it out of the box. It’s all a lot to keep an eye on.

At the end of the day, I wouldn’t mind but the Tiani just doesn’t work very well. The remote starts to fail as soon as any objects come between it and the vibrator. In mode three, the remote can’t even transmit through a thin layer of fabric, let alone walls. I’m not a fan of the shape either. The insertable part is smaller than that of the WeVibe, which may be better for using during intercourse, but also makes it more difficult to adequately stimulated my G-spot. The arm is also extremely flexible so it’s difficult to get a lot of pressure. Paired with the weak vibrations, the Tiani didn’t do much for me. Plus, the silky silicone is so slippery. There’s no good place to hold for insertion or to get just the right angle. My fingers kept slipping off.

The Tiani also has a ridiculously short battery life. After charging completely, I was able to use it once and play with it, for testing purposes, twice. We’re talking far less than an hour here. The Tiani’s meager vibrations are a freaking battery hog.

So we have a vibrator that isn’t very good, a wireless control that doesn’t work very well, a rechargeable toy that also needs batteries. The Lelo Tiani just doesn’t do much right besides looking pretty and even that’s a stretch.

Lelo Tiani


My Mini-Miracle Massager Pleasure Kit

October 12th, 2011

Sometimes toys make it to the shelf with such a design flaw that I really have to wonder “What were they thinking?” Such is the case with the My Mini-Miracle Massager Pleasure Kit. I was perplexed as soon as I opened the box but, you see, the description is kind of misleading. According to the website, “This complete kit contains 2 soft pliable attachments with the world famous Mini Miracle Massager.” So you would expect to receive a Mini Miracle Massager with some attachments and that, that I can live with. I would expect not to love every attachment but have a functional massager nevertheless.


The problem is that it’s not a Mini Miracle Massager with some attachments (although, that already exists). It’s a model based off the Mini Miracle Massager but there’s a permanent fixture on the head onto which you place attachments. The attachments are not part of a cup that goes over the head; rather, they both have a little hole that slides onto an awkwardly placed knob on the side of the wand. Perhaps it wouldn’t seem so awkward if you only used the pleasure kit for vaginal/internal stimulation because then you can aim the extension up and hold the handle perpendicular to your body. Unfortunately, I think of this type of toy as clitoral by default –and the tongue-shaped attachment certainly supports my conclusion — so I don’t want to do that.

Mini Miracle Massager Probe AttachmentI tried anyway. I put the little nubby attachment on first after giving it a good scrubbing. From the side, it looks like a guy with a giant nose (a lot like this guy, actually). While the TPE attachments may be Phthalate-free, they freaking stink. I mean, pew! As suspected, the placement was awkwrd and the shape less than ideal for clitoral stimulation. I didn’t get off.

I had even less success with the tongue shape. I couldn’t figure out what I was supposed to do with it. The most comfortable way to hold it implies internal stimulation but I don’t like tongue-shapes inside of me. In order to align the tongue with my clit, I’d either have to point the end of the handle between my knees or down toward my abdomen so that was a no-go either.

My Mini Miracle MassagerI’d like to say the massager itself was redeemed but it’s not because you can’t use it by itself. There’s a sticky-offy knobby thing that not only gets in the way but feels pretty unhygienic, too.The knob itself it unfinished so water can get into it. The same is true for the extensions. You have a little less room to get in there and dry things off when you clean it, which I don’t like.

California Exotics has kept the same springy head and easy to use controls as the regular Miracle Massager, which I still love. There’s two speeds and an off. Unfortunately, this toy is pretty loud and not discreet at all. The vibrations are quite strong but not as deep as the Miracle Massager. I would definitely use it alone, if not for the head.

I’m not a fan of the power cord that detaches, either. I get them confused and it makes me thinks toys are rechargeable, when they’re not. I don’t understand the point. This one is pretty long — upwards of three feet — but the adapter itself is really large and clunky and annoying.

Annoying just about sums up the My Mini-Miracle Massager Pleasure Kit. Just buy your Mini Miracle Massager and attachments separately.

CEN Sexpert


BSoft Burgundy

September 23rd, 2011

To say that I like the new Bsoft rather than the original would be a drastic understatement, I think. Yet, I’m not entirely sure why I like it so much better.

Perhaps it is because the exterior is now coated in a super silky silicone that feels a little less.. clinical than the hard, smooth plastic of the first go-round. It’s definitely friendlier, somehow. It also seems to lessen the feeling that this is a hollow piece of crap. The super light and hollow feeling of the original was a let-down. Now, a sex toy doesn’t need to be heavy to work well but it just cheapened the feel.

While the shapes are definitely related, there are some definite improvements. The ridge on the bottom of the new Bsoft is more pronounced and runs the entire length of the bottom of the toy, rather than flattening out toward the end. In use, I find this makes it much easier to apply pressure the way I like; however, the tapered bottom still fits well between labia.

The old model had three buttons and this uses the bubbly buttons like on the BCurious. I like the buttons. They’re easy to find, are surrounded by an LED light and made an audible clicking noise when pushed. Great feedback there. Of course, one button servers as a master on/off while the other pages through settings so it’s not as intuitive as it could be but, hey, at least you can turn it off quickly.

The vibration settings on this one include three steady modes and four varieties of pulsation. One’s really quick, and the other is one of those buzz-buzz-buzzzz types but they’re kind of forgettable, in my opinion. I believe I wound up using the highest constant vibration setting and, let it be known, that this setting isn’t that high. For example, I’m still more impressed by the vibration of BSwish’s original bullet and, like many toys, the new Bsoft has moderately shallow vibrations that only get more shallow as you turn it up. Still, they don’t feel as shallow and empty as the original.

I think it has to do with the way the silicone transmits them and all that the new Bsoft uses its real estate better. What I mean by that is it’s not as big and hulking as the original (Kayla has some pics here). Although they both seem to be the same length (I no longer have my original to verify), the second edition is just so much more compact. There’s not as much surface space to weaken the vibrations. Even though they’re clearly focused at the tip, away from the button, you can still feel them on the other end. It’s also much easier to wield. The bottom line, for me, is that the new Bsoft can get me off. Sure, not without some work, but its leaps and bounds better than the other.

For the strength of this toy, I do find the noise level to be a little high. Not wake-the-dead high but hmm-that’s-a-little-loud high.

I also like the design better. You can get it in a burgundy, like mine, or a dark blue with burgundy details. One improvement over the design is the location of the USB port. It used to be on the end of the toy with an oddly angled cover that rarely stayed in place. It’s been moved to the side of the vibrator with a flat port cover that lies flush with the toy. It sits in place much better and makes cleaning so much more easy!

While this sophomore attempt is a definite improvement, and I like it far more than the BCurious as well, it’s not the toy I’m going to reach for by default. Still, it’s also not one of those toys that I’ll never reach for again. How’s that for middle ground?



September 8th, 2011

There was a lot of attention garnered to Papaya Toys when they first emerged. Folks loved the whimsical designs, body-safe silicone and bright colors. I was not immune to this and lusted over the toys for some time. After the initial wave of toys went out to reviewers, the presses halted as the folks went back to work to tweak their toys a bit. I was impressed with a company who was actually listening to people like myself and was finally able to try out a Papaya Toy, the Turtle, recently. I want to say thank you to Pam and everyone at Papaya Toys for being so awesome for providing the product.

My first impression of Turtle, in its white and pink box, was positive. The packaging was pretty and the bright green turtle sat atop a black satin back. My package included a business card and the box itself had an introduction to the company and a separate manual for the toys (which all use the same controls). I didn’t take the time to read the instructions and I wish I had.

You see, the Turtle and its siblings have a unique bow-tie control that contains “two” buttons. The quotations are due to the fact that there’s obviously a third button in center.. or one of my buttons is off or extenders too far to the middle. Regardless, this extra button clicks all on its own and seems to share some functions with the “+” button but doesn’t act as a master power button. So I spent a whole bunch of time trying to figure out why the hell they’d use three buttons.

I was doubly confused because the buttons function differently than most vibrators. I kept trying to push the buttons to increase vibration strength when pushing them changes modes (pushing the “-” button once actually turns the Turtle off) and holding them increase or decreases strength. This is a method that I don’t mind but usually throws me for a loop in the beginning.

So here I am completely befuddled. It just doesn’t make sense. Two buttons would make perfect sense: the buttons would each be placed on the widest ends of the bow-tie. Five buttons would be confusing but not as much as three: each vertex would house a button. But three? There’s a button on either end and one in the center but the buttons are along one of the long edges of the bow-tie so it just feels.. confusing. Should there be more buttons along the other edge? Is this actually a button? Why does the power button not turn this thing off?

Then I read the instructions and realized there’s only supposed to be two buttons and either I’m missing the center just right to make the “+” button work (even though it clicks separately) or.. I don’t know. Defect? Poor placement on my model? I can’t even begin to answer the question but, once I figured out how it worked, and tried to keep my finger from the center, it made a little more sense.

Unfortunately, this is when the Turtle completely failed to whelm me proportionately (you know, instead of underwhelming me). There is one mode of steady vibration and two pulsation modes. The pulsing is interesting but the continuous vibes are pretty lackluster. I’ve used a lot of toys that rely on 2AAs and they’re much deeper and stronger than this toy. This is one of those vibrators where you can easily mistake the highest setting for the low. Even though I can hear the difference when changing the toy, there isn’t much difference to be felt. In my hand, it tickles more on high because the vibrations are more shallow but in use? Can’t tell.

It’s frustrating because the toy is thick enough that it seems like you could get another battery in there and that would really make a difference. However, this might mess with the reversible battery pack. I like that it doesn’t matter which direct or orientation I place it in but I’d gladly sacrifice that for stronger vibes. Plus, the battery cap–which is just the end of the toy–is damned fickle. You really have to push it down onto the toy before you can screw it on. It’s a two hand job.

I find the size of the battery pack/controls to be awkward in itself. It reminds me of some of the rabbits I’ve had and it’s pretty hard to control with my short arms. It has a total length of 9.3″ and three or so inches is dedicated to the battery cap. At its widest (where the battery cap meets the shaft), the diameter is 1.65″. We’re talking some bulk and the silicone makes it feel quite heavy.

The silicone also has a wonderfully velvet texture and I absolutely adore the turtle design. The lines remind me of a lower shell and there’s a small nub, on the head of the Turtle, that should be ideal for G-spot stimulation. Not my G-spot, apparently. Because it’s so shallow, this vibrator completely misses it when resting comfortably inside. The narrowest part (around 1″ diameter) of the shaft sits parallel to my G-spot but, because it’s narrow, doesn’t touch it. I have to awkwardly angle it forward in order to get G-spot stimulation. Although the shaft has some give, the awkwardness makes it hard for me to bend it.

I also can’t feel the Turtle design internally. Sadness. However, I did enjoy the rounded head for clitoral stimulation and, I did squirt a ton after all that wrangling. Odd.

So, the Turtle is one of those toys that looks great. I love the idea of it but it’s just awkward in practice because of its size and bulk, finicky battery cap and whatever is going on with the buttons. If it hadn’t been so awkward, I would have loved to recommend it to anyone whose G-spot is more traditionally located. I’d love to see a new line of Papaya Toys that are slimmer and sleeker, with more power and.. buttons that do what they should.


Nomi Tang Getaway Luxe

August 22nd, 2011

Has it really been soooo long since I first review the Better Than Chocolate? It was novel then, although not perfect. I’ve been wondering how well the new Nomi Tang vibrators would work but refrained from trying them because I had more than enough effective G-spot vibrators. Still, they looked so interesting, with their airplane-esque designs, that I eventually requested one to review.

The Luxe is the black model, the in-between, with an angled, slightly-bulbous head. It’s less intense than the Wild but more interesting than the narrow shaft of the Pure. In fact, the Wild is awfully similar to the Lelo Ella and I don’t think my pubic bone much likes hooky things like that. So Luxe it was.

There are some definitely improvements over Tang’s first effort. For starters, the Luxe is coated in a silky silicone, rather than the TPE composite of the Better Than Chocolate. The silicone feels velvety and smooth to the touch and is definitely softer. Although the inner workings of this vibrator are rigid, you can squeeze at the handle and the bulbous head and feel a bit of give. You might not expect this from the images but I definitely approve.

Another improvement is the use of 2 AA batteries, rather than AAA. Although the Luxe isn’t the most powerful vibrator that I own, its vibrations are moderately rumbly and more than do the trick for me. Now, if you’ve been here before, you’ll know that I respond well to deeper vibrations even if they aren’t super strong. Unfortunately, if strength alone is what you require, the Luxe may not meet your needs.

That is not this toy’s only downfall. I complained in my Better Than Chocolate review but I just don’t understand why these vibrators start in their highest settings! Surely, we’re going to want to turn it up and be sorely disappointed when we realize that this is all we get. No need to reinvent the wheel here. Low to high has worked well for years.

I haven’t noticed any difference in the touch controls. In fact, I used my previous review to remember how to use them. In fact, the user guide is actually wrong as it indicates sliding your finger toward the NT logo turns the vibrations up. The opposite is actually true. It’s a fairly smooth transition between strengths but there’s really not too much difference between the high and the low. In my opinion, the low could be even lower for more of a preparatory sensation and, of course, the highest steady vibration setting could be stronger yet. It’s definitely a middle-of-the-road vibrator. I’d actually like some sort of light setting to indicate the strength of the vibrations on this one because you don’t have the definitive click of a button. The light remains steady on the steady vibrations, however.

It does blink and such when you turn on different modes, after holding the NT logo for two seconds. As far as I can tell, the modes include a slow and fast pulsation–and that’s it. I don’t mind because the pulsation is pretty effective but most vibrators have more settings than I can count or tell apart. If you like escalation or faster pulsation, you might find this one lacking.

But back to the positives. The Getaway Luxe is lockable if you press and hold the end of the slider with no logo. The logo turns red to indicate locking status and if you power it off and back on again, it will be unlocked. You can use it underwater and the battery compartment is pretty secure; however, the strip should be dry to change power and patterns. I’ve also noticed that it’s less responsive if my hands seems a little greasy if I’ve put on lotion or something like that.

My thoughts on the touch controls are a little less positive this time around. It works; it has some nice features but it’s not as convenient as a physical button, which is quicker, offers tactile feedback and will still work even when when or greasy (for the most part). I’m also frustrated with the entire battery set up. You screw off the end of the toy to insert 2AAs into a plastic carriage. It’s a little finicky and I’d rather directly insert the batteries. Aligning the cap back up is a bitch. I can’t never get it just right so it always takes a few moments of fiddling. Once it’s on, it’s on and secure, however.

I must say that I did really enjoy the shape and texture of the Getway Luxe. The bulbous head easily found my G-spot and was also good for clitoral stimulation. The wide handle is so easy to grasp and it’s a little softer than the shaft, too. The placement of the touch script, during use, is a bit awkward but it’s not so much an issue if you leave it on one setting.

Luxe offers 6″ insertable and the majority of the shaft is only around 1″ thick. The bulbous head is slightly wider but it’s not a large toy by any means so it may be good for newbies. Because of the larger handle, the toy has an overall length of 11″ and you may want to pass this by if you want something discreet.

Like the Better Than Chocolate, this comes in a pretty white box. This time, it sits in satin, with a long and narrow guide book and Nomi Tang is now included a drawstring satin bag for storage and transportation. While the Getaway Luxe hasn’t proven to be a dust magnet like some of my other silicone toys, this is definitely a plus.

The MSRV of this toy is $79 but most retailers, including FunWares, are selling it just under $60. That’s a pretty good price for a silicone vibrator of this size and if you really want to try it for yourself or need a nice, basic G-spot vibe, I’d say go ahead and try the Nomi Tang Getaway Luxe.

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Compact Discretion

August 16th, 2011

MyPleasure offers The Compact Discretion is a bullet vibrator that aims to be discreet and, in that, it is actually pretty successful. The vibrator itself, its cords, battery pack and control all sit within a case that looks like a short glasses case. It’s too small to fit glasses but you could maybe describe it as for cigarettes or business cards. Either way, it makes your vibrator super portable in addition to discreet.

But, aside from that, I didn’t like this toy a bit. As soon as I opened the case, a strong plastic/manufacturing smell emanated from it. Unfortunately, this is full of plastic parts that simply didn’t get enough airing out. You might be able to remedy this a bit by letting it sit open. I did but the smell didn’t complete dissipate.

Aside from the smell, another of complaint is the battery compartment. There’s a button you need to press down to slide the rectangular cap outward and up but it’s not very efficient and likes to stick. When the compartment does open, it 2-AA batteries. This leads directly into my next complaint. For a vibrator that uses 2-AA batteries, the Compact Discretion is absolutely weak. The vibrations are incredibly shallow and surface level. If I didn’t know better, I’d expect this bullet was powered by a single AAA! It’s nothing compared to the BNaughty, which I enjoyed quite a bit.

There’s a slider button to control the vibrations. Because they’re so shallow, I really can’t tell much of a difference between the five settings. They’re all steady; no patterns here. There’s tiny red lights to help show which setting you’re on but I don’t find them all that helpful.

Onward with the complaints! The cord between the case and the bullet itself seems quite short. I don’t use a lot of corded toys these days so I find it so awkward. The case is too big to hold during use, really, but if you set it down next to you, the cord makes things awkward. Although it’s attached to the bullet securely, the bullet itself feels cheap.

Because everything’s attached, you need to deal with the awkwardness while trying to wash without wetting the inner workings. You must also completely dry the bullet before returning it to its case.

I don’t have a lot of positives to say about this toy. It’s discreet but at the cost of being fully functional. I would spend the money on a higher quality bullet for sure.

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Divine Inspiration Rotating Massager

June 8th, 2011

So, I’m into new and unusual things and the Divine Inspiration Rotating Massager from California Exotics fits the bill pretty well. It’s a wand style toy that rotates and vibrates and it’s all decked out in pink and black. The specific model I received is straight-handled. The handle is about 1.5 the length of my fist so it’s not like the size of a Hitachi or anything. It’s fairly small. This small toy is powered by two AAA batteries that insert into the end of the handle, after the pink cap screws off. There’s one of those ribbons to aid you in removing batteries–although, I usually find them to get in the way–and a small O-ring around the battery compartment.

Toward the top of the handle, where it begins to narrow, is a silver band for no other reason than to look pretty. I have to admit, I am a fan of the rock and roll chic appeal but I prefer the other toys in the line ever-so-slightly. The head consists of a bright pink TPR that is squishy and velvety. There is a row of oblong bulges that encircle the top of the head. I guess the idea of texture is interesting but perhaps not as functional as Cal Exotics would have you think.

There is a single push button at the base of the rotating massager. One push starts the rotating, a second shifts direction and a third turns it off. Although there is supposed to be vibration in addition to rotation, I could only feel the motor straining inside the handle of the wand. The rotation itself is interesting. It sort of reminds me of the Sasi. It’s an interesting feeling that is somewhat akin to oral but, you know, not exactly. Of course, the problem with this function is that you cannot press the head of the massage against you without forcing the movement to stop. This may also be problematic for you if you’re fleshier. You’ll have to push your labia out of the way. It doesn’t lend itself well to pressure or intense stimulation. while I kind of like the idea, it’s just not enough to get me off.

In use, I really didn’t find the ability to switch direction was effective. Actually, it somewhat hurt to switch direction which makes very little sense. Regardless, a toy like the Sasi is more creative in terms of movement and overall, preferable. Another reason I prefer it is that I can turn off the movement of the ball, when I’m sufficiently aroused, and just use the vibration to get off.

You’ll definitely want to use lube to aid the rotation and keep things comfortable. The texture holds it well, perhaps too well. After I was done, I cringed as I had to scrub the lube out from the tiny crevices in the head of the Divine Inspiration Rotating Massager. I’d really like something a little less time consuming when it comes to washing.

In fact, I’d have to say that, ultimately, this sex toy is more like an electric lube applicator than anything else.

CEN Sexpert


Form 2

June 7th, 2011

Form 2

Form 2
$145 from Babeland

Remember how whiny I was a while back about how I’d never tried a Jimmyjane vibrator? Yea, it wasn’t pleasant. Luckily, I have now had the opportunity. My experience has been a bit.. atypical, I think, so I have some interesting insights to share with you, dear reader.

Now, in case you forgot, the Form 2 is a rabbit shaped vibrator but it’s just the head with two ears that have separate motors. The ears, one would probably guess, are ideal for surrounding the clit or nipples or for passing on either side of the labia or.. an ear? Point is, while most people are going to head south with the Form 2, it does offer some versatility.. which is probably good because I really just don’t like it for clitoral stimulation. I tend to use toys in the general area of my clit, pressed to my pubic bone. It’s about pressure and indirect stimulation for me but it doesn’t get more direct than the Form 2–and it’s on both sides. AAAH! This totally negates the fact that the vibrations are shallow and buzzy, although concentrated.

My personal quirks aside, this just may be better suited to those of you who like direct stimulation from multiple angles. If you’re the type who can lay a vibe against your clit and eventually get off, more or less without any effort, maybe the Form 2 is for you. Unfortunately, I’m not you. My other personal complaint is that the ridiculous buzzyness of this vibrator quickly “numbs” me. Now, I don’t mean numb in the “woe is me, I used a vibrator and I’ll never get off from sex again” type way, so if you’re the anti-woman/masturbation/pleasure/intelligence type who believes that, STFU. No, I mean, that the vibrations are so shallow that my body literally cannot feel them after a while so I turn it up and up and up and eventually I’ve just spent half an hour with a toy that has absolutely not chance of getting me off and what am I doing?

I’m getting to know the toy for review, I guess. At least it’s easy to use. There’s a plus and minus button for controlling the vibration and another button with a squiggly line for moving between the different modes. Jimmyjane has included vibration and pulsation and describes them with an interesting infographic yet, because the buzzyness isn’t a good foundation for effective pulsation.

So I was all set to write this review and say, you know, this is an interesting toy and it seems made well enough.. When it turned itself on, vibrated itself right out of its charging base, fell on my bathroom floor and broke. Scared the crap out of my cats, too.

On the bright side, Jimmyjane was super quick about responding to my issue and sent me out a replacement Form 2 STAT! I just returned the broken one, via prepaid shipping, today. I’m not having any issues with the new one. I’m a little hesitant to keep it in its charging base, should the same thing occur with my replacement, and also because the cats like to nom silicone. Otherwise, I like the charging base. it’s convenient and the design uses a variety of flashing and steady lights to indicate charging and battery status. With the Form 2, you know exactly how much of a charge is left when you lift it from the base. That’s handy.

Because it uses a charging system with contact points–there’s a metal “disc” on the bottom of the toy that contacts the base–it’s waterproof. This makes cleaning super easy and you could take your Form 2 in the shower. That’s not generally my preference as the water tends to make vibrations seemed subdued.

Other points of note include:

  • Form 2 is fairly quiet. Not as quiet as Siri but acceptable enough.
  • The manufacturing seems pretty high quality. The toy feels solid, it’s pretty seamless.
  • The silicone collects dust and smudges like crazy. Arg.
  • A lot of people have complained about some sort of feature/glitch. I haven’t run into it because I don’t spend a lot of time with toys that aren’t going to get me off.
  • Although I’m hoping my specific issues were self-contained, it seemed like Jimmyjane vibrators–especially those in the Form line up–just tend to be glitchy as all get out.

I guess we’ll have to see how I feel about Form 2 in the future.

Jimmyjane Form 2 at Babeland