Love Bunnies

May 10th, 2011

Some bunny loves me.. but it’s not one of the Love Bunnies. I requested to review these tiny vibrators from Babeland because they’re absolutely adorable. I didn’t know if they’d get me off but tis the season for bunnies and bright colors and all that bollocks.

So the Love Bunnies come in a super colorful box. It’s definitely reminiscent of a child’s toy and you may even want to keep it out of your kid’s line of sight because of the design. While fun, it’s sort orf confusing. To add to the fun, the package comes complete with an “Official Adoption Certificate.” Lovehoney’s packaging is amazingly detailed with this product and I almost want them to come out with actual children’s toys.

The colorful Love Bunnies vibrator sits in a plastic holder inside the box, against a brightly colored backdrop. The bunnies themselves are pretty straight forward. A tiny bullet vibrator sits inside a bunny shape–complete with ears and tail. You have to uncap and remove a paper tab before you can use the Love Bunnies. There’s a single push button for the single speed. I found that it likes to stick so sometimes I have to press it twice or more to actually get it to work.

Of course, as any watch battery-powered toy, the vibrations a both weak and buzzy. They’re the type that I quickly become “numb” to after a short period. That is to say, I literally cannot feel them after a few minutes. This is a shame because the roundness of the Love Bunnies actually stimulates me in a way that I find quite enjoyable. You may prefer to surround your clit, nipples or other sensitive parts with the ears but I like round shapes and pressure rather than pinpoint stimulation. The Love Bunnies actually provide both, unlike some other novelty vibrators (coughIRubMyduckiecough).

What disappointed me even more was that, as I used the Love Bunnies vibe for the very first time, the batteries died–maybe 20 minutes in. As these type of batteries can be difficult and pricey to obtain, that’s definitely a major drawback. I toss toys that require speciality batteries or suck them dry into a drawer, rarely to be touched again.

Washing up was easy enough; although, I don’t know if these vibrators are supposed to be water or splash proof. There’s very little information in the packaging. As I began to type this, I didn’t even know what the Love Bunnies were made of. Silicone, as it turns out, but this information is sneakily printed on the bottom of the box.

So while cute and silicone, easy to use and packaged quite nicely, the Love Bunnies best get to hoppin’. They just don’t cut it.

Love Bunnies at Babeland Sex Toys


Bondage I Rub My Duckie Travel Vibe in Black & Red

May 5th, 2011

I think we’re all glad that this is my last review for any item in the I Rub My Duckie line. I’m kind of sick of repeating myself and I have officially drawn the line. No matter how cute these damned things are, I don’t need another one especially when they just don’t cut it.

The Black and Red Mini Bondage duckie is probably one of the best designs, in my not so humble opinion. The original bondage duckie is awesome but this color scheme is just spectacular. The details, from the spiked color to the corset lacing in front, are immaculate. The ball gag is adorable and, once again, the painted eyelashes indicates this duckie is female. As you can guess, this duckie is much less inconspicuous than its brothers and sisters so you’ll want to tuck it away when Mom and Dad visit (unless you’re parents are into BDSM!).

But aside from that, this duckie just doesn’t cut it. The shape doesn’t work well to stimulated any area or to hold while you struggle to get off. The spikes on this one can actually be a little uncomfortable or painful, too. It doesn’t float. The molding is sloppy and water gets into the battery area. The duckie flops on its side when in water (boo!). There’s only a single speed of vibration and the knob requires a bit more effort than a button. The vibrations are buzzy and ridiculously weak, as you would expect from a vibrator powered by a single AAA battery. You need a fingernail or steel, a coin or some other flat device to open the battery compartment in the first place. For its size and strength, the duckie is just far too loud. All the ridges and text and other crap on the bottom of the Bondage I Rub My Duckie Travel Vibe just create a ton of space for lubes and liquids to make themselves at home. I will never feel like any of the duckies are truly clean.

For $20, you can get a decent bullet and actually get off. Consider the duckie vibrators as novelty only.

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Jopen Vanity Vr.6

April 28th, 2011

I first ran across the Vanity by Jopen line a few months back. I was intrigued. Cal Exotics has really been trying to bring higher quality items to the market and while it was good to see that from one of the big five (four?), none of the products I’d tried really caught my interest. While better designed, they all lacked power. So while I was intrigued, I tried not to set my expectations too high because I’d been disappointed before.

Let me get straight to the point: Cal Exotics has finally gotten it right in terms of power. The Jopen Vanity Vr.6 has vibrations that show both great strength and depth. The vibrations are deeper than Lelo’s Ina, for example. For me, this means I don’t have to adjust them too much to find the right setting and my G-spot responds ridiculously well. When I turn on both functions, each with their own motor, it’s a damned experience. A++++ as they say on Ebay. Of course, no toy is really whisper quiet. You can hear this one; although, I can’t say it operates at an unacceptable volume level.

And turning them on is really easy. Cal Exotics has created two simply buttons. One push turns them on. Push and hold to increase intensity and push and release to turn it off. It’s similar to the Couture Collection wand I have. I can’t fault them because it works but I can say it kind of feels like they’re reinventing the wheel and that if you frequently use other toys that require you to push to get to the next setting, you may find yourself turning off the Jopen vibrators and this can be frustrating. Really, I like the style of the controls but I probably won’t be able to get used to them unless the entire sex toy industry adopts them.

Design-wise, the Jopen is attractive but not stunning. I still prefer the look of Lelo toys. The Vr6 is a bit boring with its all-over color but I have to say that, in person, it’s a lovely shade of fuchsia that just doesn’t show up very well in pictures. It’s slightly more pink/red than the images show and is more attractive. It’s still purple and that’s still majorly overused in sex toy design but it’s an interesting sort of purple.

I usually yell at people who do not explicitly spell out what a toy looks like in their review so the Jopen Vr6 is a rabbit vibrator that has a shape similar to the Lelo Ina. The clitoral arm curves toward the boy while the shaft curves upward, toward the G-spot. The shaft is quite thin but grows into a bulbous animal at the end. It’s a pretty typical design in terms of contemporary rabbit vibrators.

As I mentioned, the all-over color is due to the pure silicone exterior of the Vanity by Jopen line of toys. Like any claim of seamlessness, this isn’t quite the case. You can see it and feel it with your hand–although, not in use. It’s note one of those seams that’s going to let water in, however. In fact, California Exotics claims 100% waterproofiness despite the fact that you still plug the AC adapter into a port on the back of the toy. The port is snugly surrounded by silicone that retains its shape after you remove the charger, like some of the newer Lelo toys. To be honest, I never play with toys in the shower but I’m pretty messy when I clean them so as long as a toy holds up to soap and water, I’m fine.

Speaking of silicone, the texture on this one is velvety and, yes, attracts lint more than my couch during shedding season (that’s now boys and girls!). It feels nice to the touch, offers a bit of drag which could be a pro or a con for some.

I haven’t mentioned how this performed for me, because, well, it sucked. California Exotics has finally created a quality toy that I want to love and I just can’t. The specific design of the Vr6 just doesn’t sit right in my body. The shaft struggles for space, against my pubic bone, in my vagina. The bulbousness, the length and the angle all seem to be wrong for me even though the numbers (1.5″ diameter and 4.25″ insertable) are not intimidating. Pretty run of the mill. Yet, I can’t even fully insert this and because I can’t fully insert it, the clitoral arm comes nowhere near my clitoris. It just pinches against my pubic bone on the outside. So, really, they could call this the “Destroyer of Adriana’s Pubic Bone” and be right on the money. Nevertheless, I have long suspected that my bone sits at a unique angle and, perhaps, pokes out a little further into my vaginal canal so I suspect that most will not have that problem.

One thing I am happy to announce is the Cal Exotics is slowly introducing better packaging. The white box is simple and the logo may not be that impressive but it’s not a giant, plastic box that cuts you and breaks open during shipping. The company has also included a storage pouch with this vibrator. A gigantic, stretchy pouch that I could probably stuff one of my cats in. It’s huge. A little overkill, to be honest. There’s almost so much fabric as to be unwieldy.

So, hats off to some great improvements. Overall the Jopen Vanity Vr.6 is a pretty fantastically functioning toy but be sure to take your time when picking out the vibrator that’s right from you in this line. They all seem so similar but I’m willing to bet those subtle differences have an astounding effect.

Jopen Vr6



April 20th, 2011

The iRide certainly puts the “novel” into adult novelties. That is for sure. In pictures, it sometimes looks like it might be a smaller toy, something that simply sits between your legs, almost like those panty vibrators. It’s not. It’s a big honking piece of plastic and silicone in God-awful Barbie pink. It looks–and feels–like a real child’s toy. It certainly doesn’t have the sort of design that’s so sleek and attractive that the toy itself can arouse you.

When I got it in the mail, it was in a big box. The actual packaging is a medium box that is, again, reminiscent of something Barbie-esque. The iRide sits in a plastic holder inside the box. I quickly did away with the box. It’s not that much bigger than the toy but it’s neither discreet nor better than storing this giant vibrator on its own.

So, the iRide is kinda of like a saddle that turns up in the front and back. It sports an insertable, vibrating shaft and a round/semi-sphere nub for clitoral stimulation (supposedly). The base is made of hard plastic while the parts that touch the skin are soft, TPR in, again, Barbie pink. The shaft is approximately 4″ in length and tapers slightly toward its rounded end. Its pretty straight, all in all, and probably a bit big for a newbie. At the base, it has a diameter of 1.67″ so we’re looking toward the medium-large end of the spectrum (although it’s not huge by any means) The clitoral nub is pretty huge and only 1/2″ or so from the position of the shaft. Unfortunately, because of the ridge plastic and the nature of the design, the iRide offers absolutely zero customization. Either it works for you or it doesn’t. At a price of nearly $150, I would advise you think long and hard before purchasing this vibrator.

Despite its size, the iRide runs onl AA batteries. I guess I was expecting C cells. Doc Johnson crafted this one with a battery covery with springy sides that you pinch to remove (from the bottom of the unit) and an easy-insert battery pack that holds the 4AAs. Although I used some batteries that were probably less than fresh, I found the vibrations to be a bit buzzy. The shaft on the iRide is really comparable with some of the insertables I already own. It’s definitely enough to make me squirt but, of course, I prefer deeper vibrations in terms of sensation.

This is the type of toy that you have to mount so I lubed it up and tried it out. The TPR has enough give that insertion was easy enough but I quickly found that the angle of the shaft on the iRide and the angle of my vaginal canal are not suited for one another. I found myself leaning forward to that the shaft wouldn’t stab into the front wall of my vagina. Nevertheless, it still aimed in that general direction quite forcefully. The more I leaned forward, the further from the clitoral nub did my clitoris move. See, mine’s much further than 1/2″ from my vaginal opening, plus I’m a little fleshy, so the nub just wasn’t far enough out or away from the shaft to work.

Logistically, the shape of the iRide just wasn’t working for me. It seemed to be a bit too wide between my legs (only 5″ but when something’s snuggled up against your pussy, that seems a lot I guess) and kneeling like that left my much taller than the toy anyway. There wasn’t any way for me to to hunker down so I could really get to grinding or rocking with the iRide but I’ll be the first to admit that I’m got some curvy thighs on me so I’m not entirely surprised. It’s sad because there’s only so many positions you can do with this thing. While on the iRide I also felt a bit.. as though I were wearing a giant pad or diaper. It’s 12″ from stern to stern and that thought just isn’t one that’s really conducive to sexy time.

I do have one more complaint about the iRide. Simply put, this giant beast is a bitch to clean. If you go the soap and water method, you wind up rubbing on some soap or cleaner and have to shove it in your sink and turn it this way and that to rinse it out (like the baking sheets that are just too damned big for your kitchen sink) and I highly doubt this thing is all that water resistant as there’s no seal around the battery compartment. Otherwise, you can wipe it down with something like Pjur Med or Afterglow wipes but that’s a little less than ideal because the TPR catches lint and hair and such and it’s really essential to use running water to rinse those away.

I honestly think we’d all be better off spending our money on one really good vibrator and a position pillow with some sort of pocket that can hold our beloved vibrators. At least, that way, it’s possible to customized the toy.


JeJoue Mimi

April 16th, 2011

JeJoue’s Mimi is a fine looking toy and, because I am attracted to all things (and people) pretty, it’s a significant part of the reason I requested to review it. This tiny, triangular-esque vibrator reminds me a lot of Lelo’s Lily. It’s smooth and flat-ish, made of plastic and silicone and uses an awesome magnetic charger. I’m really into the magnetic chargers. I can’t break a toy with them, like I did my We-Vibe. I digress. MiMi’s tiny size makes it perfect for using between bodies or even tucking in your panties. It seems like most retailers are marketing this as a couple’s toy and I think its strength definitely lies in that application. It’s not intimidating in the least and doesn’t resemble a penis. It’s super easy to use and could, potentially, fit in the palm of your hand for a traditional massage.

I can’t say anything bad about it except, perhaps, that is isn’t cat proof. Mine has teeth marks in it. They fucking love silicone. What the hell, man? I digress.. again.

So during solo use, I found the MiMi to be pretty good at pinpoint stimulation but I tend to like something a little more general and with more pressure. This is the type of vibrator in which the silicone is silky smooth but covers a rock hard form so pressure feels a little sharp. It’s super easy to use, though. Plus and minus button on the one edge. Those same buttons serve as the contact points for the magnetic charger. While charging, there’s a red light. I almost missed it at first cause I had it upside down.

The vibrations are not mind blowing. They’re what I’d called medium-buzzy. Your hand won’t fall off or tickle to death but they lack real depth. The result of this is that I do not particularly enjoy the escalation or pulsation. It’s not dramatic enough for me. There’s also a sort of rattly whine as the toy is on, probably due to a digital motor. I’ve experienced this before. Sound-wise, MiMi could use a reduction, I think. While no one may be the wiser, it just seems a little loud for its size and strength. At its lowest setting, MiMi is louder than Siri’s highest setting. It;s mostly due to the rattling sound.

MiMi is well made and I’m sure it will last you a lifetime but you shouldn’t get it if you already own something similar or like strong, deep vibrations. If you’re looking for something subtle, easy to use and completely non-intimidating for partner play–and can justify the price–MiMi will probably do just fine.



April 15th, 2011


$100 from Babeland

Yooo is a fantastic vibrator. Its description might suggest it as an all over massager and its shape might be reminiscent of Mickey Mouse but, damn, if Fun Factory didn’t knock the ball right out of the park. A lot of times I see these novelty toys and, in reality, they just don’t perform all that well. Cast aside your doubts! The tri-spherical shape of Fun Factory’s Yooo works amazingly.

Let me pause to tell you that I love spherical toys. Love them. I like pressure and grinding and spherical toys offer this without being painful. I don’t have to position them in any certain way–they’re spheres! Although, I’ve found that this multi-sphered toy works best when in a vertical position to one sphere stimulates my clit while the other rests against my slit, so to speak. This leaves the third ball where I can press against it to get all the pressure that I like and control the toy.

Now, let me say that the controls could use some work. For whatever reason, I have to press the on/up button for a full five seconds as hard as I possibly can to get my Yooo going. It’s just really stiff but the other buttons don’t appear to be as stiff. The button set up is also quite easy to use. + to power it on and cycle upward, – to do the opposite and Fun Factory’s signature boost button to give it an extra kick.

The click and charge system is also in play here. A magnetic connector lines up with the FF logo to charge the toy. The company has added a unique feature to its newer toys. The control area lights up when you touch it and, while I like the idea, I find the light isn’t bright enough or should be a different color. The light really doesn’t enable me to see the buttons any better. It’s not a big deal, though.

I’m a big fan of the density of the silicone. It offers a tad bit of give, which makes it perfect for grinding against. Like any silicone, it collects dust and lint but, because there’s no open ports or whatever, rinsing with water is A-okay. No silicone lube though, mmkay?

So, I haven’t even gotten to the best part, really. Yooo features not one, but two motors and the vibrations aren’t super shallow. Yay for me. So some of the settings have some nice back and forth action going on and this toy really resonates deep within my body. The shape and vibrations not only get me off but I enjoy getting there and that’s not something I can say with all toys, honestly. Vibrators like Lelo’s Siri do the job but don’t tend to really make me writhe in pleasure as they do so. With Yooo, I experience a more powerful orgasm.

Yooo isn’t as tiny as some of the clitoral vibrators that exist but its design does hug the body and I can squeeze my thighs about it to hold it on place. If you’re a thigh squeezer, you might enjoy the Yooo simply for that fact.

Yooo at Babeland

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L’Amour™ Premium Silicone Massager – Passion “G”

April 14th, 2011

Can I be honest here?

Cal Exotics should take a cue from some of the boutique companies that make few toys but make them well. CEN just keeps pumping out toy after toy and I can’t even tell them apart anymore. The L’Amour™ Premium Silicone Massager – Passion “G” is highly reminiscent of the Couture Collection, the name is a mouthful and a bitch to search for on their site. In short, there is absolutely nothing remarkable about this vibrator except for the fact that it uses 2 AAs, something I am glad to see because I am strictly anti-AAA battery.

The box and website describe a “[c]ontemporary intimate high quality massager” that features 7 functions of vibration, pulsation, and escalation while remaining quiet. The functions are easy to use: one button is a dedicated power switch while the other cycles through the settings. A light appears by the buttons when the toy is on to help you see but why it is red is beyond me. A nice white would better match and appeal to my sense of aesthetics.

In terms of shape of size, it’s a rounded, typical insertable vibrator. There are some grooves that run lengthwise to offer additional stimulation but sort of just look like the mold was mis-shapen. The plastic base and buttons are white with silvery details. The shaft is straighter than some might like; although, the silicon offers some flexibility. Of course, those you like firm G-spot stimulation might find that to be a hindrance to their enjoyment. The L’amour Passion G is 6.75” in insertable length, with a 1.5” diameter. It’s a decent, mid-sized vibrator that isn’t overly intimidating. The soft blue is also quite welcoming in appearance.

Like every other CEN toy I’ve ever seen, this one is waterproof. That usually doesn’t win me over, though. I’m not much for playing in the bathroom but, if you are, this might be a plus. This is also a characteristic that all the non-rabbit, L’amour vibrators seem to share and none of the shapes are necessarily varied enough that I would recommend one over the other. Like every other vibrator, CEN states this is quiet. Whisper quiet? I think not. You don’t need to hold it to your ear to hear it. Will it wake the neighbours? No but.. eh.

The price point for this entire line also seems ridiculously high. You can get a silicone, G-spot vibrator for $10-$15 than the MSRP. For such a basic piece, I couldn’t really recommend this, especially to someone who’s just getting into sex toys. For a few more bucks, you can get something rechargeable by Fun Factory.

Maybe I’m just super jaded but the L’amour Passion G is just utterly forgettable. I don’t see why California Exotics needs two lines of remarkably similar silicone vibrators.

CEN Sexpert


Sweetheart I Rub My Duckie

March 7th, 2011

I have a soft spot for the duckie vibrators. Time and again, they have proved to be not quite as functional as they are novel but I keep requesting them, anyway.

Thus, I am now the owner of an adorable Sweetheart I Rub My Duckie. Like the Santa duckie I already possessed, this one is travel sized and comes in a plastic heart. The duckie sits on a stand, against a pink background and she looks super glamorous through the clear plastic in front. A bow attaches to loops at the top of the plastic but you can pop the duckie out by removing the tape along the side.

The duckie has fashionable accessories: a feather boa that I think my cats have already stolen (removable because who wants to get it all yucky during play?). She is pristine in white/light cream with light teal eyes that are definitely feminine. She’s sort of like a monochrome version of the Paris Duckie, which I also own. There’s a tiny rhinestone jewel on her bill that adds to the feminine allure.

This particular duckie was stubborn when it came time to insert batteries, though. The cover is a piece of plastic (the entire thing is molded plastic, actually) that you push into place and turn to lock (the reverse opens it). A screw driver is handy (or fingernails of steel) but the hard plastic on mine seems to be slightly misshapen, making the entire process a pain in the ass. Unfortunately, all my hard work was for naught because my duckie didn’t work anyway. )= When I insert the battery (a single AAA), replace the battery cover and turn the dial from Off to On, nothing happens. Nada. At all.

Luckily for me, I enjoy the duckies for their aesthetic appeal and I already own a similar model so I am familiar with their vibration strength and operation. The small size means you’ll probably rely on the tail or sides, the broadest part, for pressure but the face and beak offer some pinpoint stimulation (all external, I don’t even know how you’d go about inserting this!). All the engraved text on the bottom makes me hesitant to use. I would really not have to clean off lubes and liquids from the tiny cracks and crevices.

Although the knob would indicate that the vibrations are adjustable, this is actually a one-speed toy. Considering how difficult it can be to turn the little knob, you’d think they would go with a push buttoncontrol (or belly squeeze, as with the larger duckies). I was able to get off when I used the Sweetheart Duckie’s Santa cousin but it’s not the type of toy I default to. The vibrations, as I recall, as relatively strong for the size but I’ll take a AA-powered toy over this, any day. In addition to this, the duckies do not tend to be all that quiet so close your door, put on some music and run the bath in the background, just to be careful.

To add to my disappointment, the Sweetheart Duckie does not float upright in water. Rather, she flops right over onto her side or back. After testing this out, I was further disappointed to find that water had found its way into the battery compartment. Even if the duckie had worked, I wouldn’t expect it to work for long, after several uses in the water or cleanings. But I’m not surprised because all of my duckies really did have a cheap feel to them when it comes to quality of craftsmanship.

tl,dr; The Sweetheart Duckie is cute, especially in her packaging, but maybe she should stay there because quality of these products is really hit and miss and you can find a decent toy for a comparable price without all the noise.


Lelo Alia

January 4th, 2011

Insignia is the newest line by Lelo, the luxury sex toy company that has pumped out more new items this past year than I have fingers. I have been lucky enough to try several of those items, including the egg-shaped Alia. I was drawn to the Alia because it’s similar to a regular egg vibrator but I have difficulty holding those and I hoped that the hole in the center of the vibrator would ease the stress on my fingers.

Alia is like an egg with slightly flattened sides and a smaller egg-shape cut out of the middle. It is slightly larger than your typical egg vibrator ax approximately 2.5” long and 1.5” wide. While the outsides of this vibrator are coated in a firm silicone, the inside is lined with plastic painted to look metallic. It has a slight golden sheen and, if you found it difficult to tell whether it was gold or silver in images, it’s pretty much as difficult to tell in person. Unlike some other Lelo’s toys, the silicone is not as firm as I expected. There’s just a tiny bit of give, similar to the Estomed of the Layaspot. The velvety finish also adds to the feeling of softness.

Lelo has been experimenting with packaging this year, it seems. Alia comes in a box that contains a foam shape to hold the vibrator and the included brooch while the other side has a liftable cardboard flap that houses the storage/travel pouch and booklets. I have found that the booklets like to slide to the other side, under the foam, and you need to insert your fingers into the foam holes to move the paper back into place in order to access it.

So, the brooch is a small metal pin that is in the shape of what I understand to be the logo for the Insignia line. Imagine an infinity symbol with an extra loop. I’m not really a fan of pins but it’s elegant looking and could spice up an outfit or you could put it on a canvas bag.

Lelo has strayed from their trademark controls with the Insignia toys and the controls actually match the brooch. The logo is engraved into the silicone while the buttons are embossed onto it. There is a + button on one side to turn on and up the vibrator while a – button exists on the other side to do the opposite. The button in the middle looks a bit like this () and allows the user to switch between modes. Those modes include various pulsation and escalation settings. There are around 8 but it’s hard to tell because that middle button needs a lot of pressure in order for the vibrator to respond. Sadly, Lelo has returned to the buzzier type vibrations with Alia. Siri is significantly deeper in terms of vibration. However, Alia is still much more powerful than Lily.

In use, I didn’t find the shape to help at all. In fact, it may have even made this egg-shaped toy more difficult to use. Depending on your finger size, you can fit 2 or 3 through the hole. Nevertheless, I just couldn’t find a comfortable and useful position that made use of the hole and offered the pressure I like. If you simply like to hold vibrators against you, then this may not be an issue.

Lelo has continued to provide the ability to lock your vibrators when not in use by simultaneously pressing – and +. I still say this isn’t as useful and being able to lock it during use but it’s handy for travel. Charging automatically unlocks an Insignia toy, which is important to remember. The manual states that it requires two hours to fully charge; although, mine was already charged. The LED light on the toy will remain white when the battery is full but will pulse as it dies. Users can expect up to four hours of usage from Alia but I have yet to reach that point. I also believe it uses the same adapter as Ina, Mona and Siri. AWESOME!

Now, I have to mention something odd. This toy is supposed to be completely waterproof. My understanding is that the silicone is supposed to stretch to accommodate the adapter when charging but “shrink” to cover the hole when not charging. My hole is completely open all.the.time. (Man, that sounds kinda naughty, doesn’t it?) I would absolutely NOT trust this in water if I didn’t know it was supposed to be fully waterproof. However, I gave it a thorough and fully submerged washing and it came out just fine. I wonder if the silicone port covers that Lelo previously used are a thing of the past.

Another change that Lelo has implemented with this product is that of the storage bag. It is now double layered satin—black on the outside and white on the inside. I don’t think it looks as nice as plain black but it offers slightly more cushion.

The bottom line for me is that Alia really isn’t an improvement over traditional egg vibrators in terms of strength, size or comfort. I would much rather use my $35 BNaughty, which has survived multiple trips to the shower and rough cleanings.


OhMiBod Freestyle

January 1st, 2011

It may come as a surprise to some to read that, despite the fact that I own more vibrators, dildos, sex toys and massage candles than any person ought to own, I hadn’t tried an OhMyBod vibe until just recently. The company was wonderful when I contacted them about reviewing a product and it wasn’t long before I was holding my very own OhMiBod Freestyle vibrator.

It its big ol’ box! The Freestyle comes in one of the larger packages that I have seen for non-rabbit vibrators. It’s a modern box in white with an image of the vibrator and the name of the toy on the cover. The box opens to reveal yet another container, this one a plastic box with rounded corners that actually contains the vibrator. For some reason, I had a hell of a time opening the box for the first time but have since been able to open it with more ease.

The larger box also contains AC adapters for use in other countries, the charger, the wireless transmitter (with batteries) and a 12” AUX input connector—the type of connector that headphones use. Now, I am not stranger to technology or sex toys but I definitely had to consult the instructions to figure out how to set this all up. The included booklet may come in many languages but the connection instructions are really small and easy to miss, in my opinion.

Basic usage includes connecting the headphone jack on the transmitter into your MP3 player or music source. As I type this, it’s in my telephone. Then, to enjoy music, you can plug your actual headphones into the other end of the transmitter or connect the included AUX input cord to some speakers while the MP3 connector goes into your music source.

After turning the cap to the music setting, it will vibrate in tune with your music and, boy, is that something else. It really is. As everyone else has stated, your favourite song may not work so well with OhMyBod vibrators, even if a song you consider quite sexy. Some songs barely register at all and produce pretty much a constant vibration while other songs are more effective with use of the Freestyle vibrator. I find it nearly impossible to detect with songs will work best with the Freestyle, to be honest. It’s really a toss up and you’ll have to adjust the sensitivity on the transmitter (via a volume-type wheel) for every song that plays.

Of course, even if your song produces an interesting vibration, it may not be enough to get you off. This is probably why OhMiBod designed this vibrator with a basic vibration mode they call “manual.” To use it, simply turn the cap to the furthest setting and adjust the strength and mode with “-“ and “+” buttons. I think it’s a little easier to gauge the strength and type of vibrations this way, too. Freestyle has more shallow vibrations but they are strong. For example, stronger than We-Vibe or Lelo’s rechargeable vibrators. OhMiBod describes a total of seven settings for manual mode: low, medium, high, escalation, fast pulsation, super speed pulsation, and a short-short long pulsation. As far as I can tell, the pulsation modes are only available in one strength but it’s pretty strong.

So when you’ve found your perfect song of whether you’ve just turned on the manual modes, you’ll probably wind up inserting the Freestyle vibrator. This one in a straight, cylindrical vibrator with rounded ends. I was a bit surprised at how large it was. I think I was expecting something closer to the Alumina vibrator I reviewed but this one is much longer (8”) and girthier (1 1/8”). It’s still a smaller vibrator in terms of width but bigger than I expected.

Because it is so straight, it’s a general vibrator. I can stimulate my G-spot with straight vibrators because of its location but not all women can. Despite is rigidity, Freestyle feels softer to the touch because of the velvety treatment of the ABS plastic. This is something that I have difficulty feeling in use, however.

There are a couple unique points about the Freestyle. It is listed as splash proof which makes me think the best use is in the tub or shower, with your transmitter connected to some speakers. This method also aids in discretion and can help cover the noise from the vibrator itself. If privacy is a concern, I would warn you that the Freestyle , while not the loudest vibrator I’ve ever tried, isn’t as quiet as I’d like it. It reminds me of a small RC car and the sound actually competes with the sound of the music when I use headphones. On that note, some of my earbuds sound distorted when using the Freestyle’s transmitter—but not all of them.

The included manual states that you can expect the transmitter to work up to 25 feet away from the vibrator itself so you could technically use it—or let someone else use it—in another room, if you wish. I have successfully used it up to fifteen feet away but, like any wireless device, walls can be problematic so I doubt it’d work if you have your own bomb shelter but forgot the Freestyle’s transmitter outside. Or something. You know.

So, while it’s a novel item that won’t become my go-to toy, Freestyle is decent and, even if it was just a rechargeable vibrator, it would get the job done. But I don’t love it.

The Freestyle makes a rattling type of sound during some use. It’s almost as if the casing isn’t quite as snug as it should be and music that makes it pulsate a lot highlights this. Additionally, it takes two hours to charge and while that is supposed to provide five hours of usage, I didn’t even get a full hour before mine died. Lastly, the “convenient” travel case is, quite simply, stupid. Everyone knows that when you’re traveling, you don’t want something bulky and that is exactly what the travel case is. OhMiBod could take a cue from Lelo and simply include a storage pouch for the adapter, vibrator and transmitter. For this same reason, some consumers will wind up throwing away the case simply because of limited storage space. It’s a nice idea (the foam cut outs fit the pieces perfectly and there’s even holes for removing the vibe and transmitter so it doesn’t get stuck) but not the best idea.

My gripes about the Freestyle by OhMiBod really are minimal, however. If you’re the type of person who really enjoys playing with things because of their “neat” factor and have the $130 to spare, you should pick it up. If novelty doesn’t do it for you, however, I’d skip this toy.