This is exciting news. Except for everything that goes with the upcoming menstrual flow. But, you see, I’ve never been in a place where I was happy enough to even recognize PMS so being able to do so is kind of awesome in its own way. Plus, even though I’m not there yet, recognizing the emotional and mental symptoms gives me hope that I may be getting to know my boy a bit better. I really like the idea that my body may not always be a stranger whose boobs I love but whose signals are never loud enough to understand. Who ever thought I’d be happy about PMS?!
Public Service Announcement: Banner Sizes
August 7th, 2010
Today’s public service announcement is brought to you by Of Sex and Love and sponsored by the letter “Y” as in “You’re doing it wrong.”
For starters. Affiliate program managers, sit down. Let’s have a talk. Affiliate programs are great. I help you make money, I make money. Simple concept. In fact, it’s one that I personally love. You know what I don’t love? When I log into an affiliate account to get some banners and none of the banners are standard size.
Maybe you’re not familiar with the fact that there are, indeed, standard sizes. (I say, maybe you ought to step down from your position as an affiliate program manager). Now, I recognize that standards do vary but even if you stick to the oldest possible list of standard banner sizes–like the ones on this page–you’re not going to go wrong. I personally am a fan of 468×60 and the skyscrapers. I recognize that a lot of smaller banners have become popular, too. In fact, I use a couple 120×60 buttons as you can see exemplified on this page. Now, if you’re feeling extremely varied at the moment, you could even use some of the unique-yet-still-mostly-standard sizes from this page.
Isn’t it amazing how many standard sizes there are? Isn’t it awesome that these standards exist so that the highest number of people/websites can use your banners? Isn’t it ridiculous if you cannot, somehow, manage to use any of those standard sizes?
I mean, my site uses no less than 4 standard banner sizes. And if I cannot find a single banner on your site that fits in one of my allotted banner spaces, I’m not going to bother.
Let me reiterate: I’d rather lose potential money and risk our working relationship that put up banners of mismatched sizes.
Pretty strong argument, I know. That’s how I roll. I recognize that I am in the minority. A lot of my peers will use banners of any old size. It makes me sad. They shouldn’t have to. You should do your job.
Making the internet look like shit–you’re doing it right.
I mean, maximizing your publicity and revenue–you’re doing it wrong.
But you’re not the only one doing it wrong. It has recently come to my attention that it is summer in some parts of the world. I got the memo one day when I walked outside and died. Since then, I have done my best to stay in side and whisper sweet nothings to my air conditioner, you know, so it doesn’t get angry and walk out on me. This is all just a long-winded way to say summer is hot!
I learned this last summer, also, when I requested to view a massage candle and it arrived as massage soup. Awesome! I contacted the review program personnel and didn’t have to review it; the store actually said they would be taking that product off the market during the summer months. A smart decision, thought I. But it’s summer again and people are getting all sorts of melty surprised in the mail and that’s kind of lame. I’m not sure that any location is really much better when it comes to heat and melting products. After all, it gets pretty hot in those delivery trucks. I mean, I got my pinwheel the other day and damned near burned myself on it.
This “You’re doing it wrong” award goes to everyone: consumers, retailers and manufacturers. As consumers, we should be smarter about this sort of thing. Retailers (including review program personnel) should, as well. I don’t expect anyone to remove all their melty stock for half the year but maybe you could just toss up a warning on the site that the stuff doesn’t travel well? And manufacturers. Oh, manufacturers. You could probably save us all the hassle if you just securely sealed your melty products. In fact, some manufacturers do!
When I got my JimmyJane Afterglow candle, it was sealed. Although it had been packaged on its side and had melted off to the side, it stayed in the container. Sure, I had to dig out the wick to burn it but I didn’t lose half the product. But if you’re tossing an open candle holder into a shipping container or pressing wax into a cardboard box and shipping it across the country, you’re asking for trouble. Come to think of it, you’re probably losing money, too.
Forethought–we’re all doing it wrong.
6 Comments
Of Babies and Age
August 3rd, 2010
I’m a member of a forum where a woman just recently posted about her pregnancy. She had decided to become pregnant, got off of birth control and they were successful very shortly afterward. I was excited for her but I also felt something I’d never felt before when someone made one of those announcements:
jealousy.
Now, people who know me well are likely to say “Who are you and what did you do with the real Adriana*?”
Because they know how vehemently I denied wanting children up until a few months ago. Even I couldn’t ever have imagined a time when I would want kids. As a close friend put it
“Because you are/were the last person anyone expected to be jealous of that.”
And it’s true. Yet here I am. Jealous.
If it’s a shock to them, you better believe that it’s a shock to me. I had no idea. It’s like one day a switch just flipped and I caught a glimpse of the type of happiness that a child could bring. I felt it in my soul. Part of it has to do with the maturing I have had to do to face the issues with my relationship. I realized why I was only thinking of myself and now that I don’t have to do that, I am really looking forward to having to think about someone else. Don’t get me wrong, I know that the reality is that parenting is hard but part of me is looking forward to do some hard work for the good of someone or something else.
The thing is, I’m only 24. I know this. And a lot of other people seem to know this because they point it out to me. You’re getting divorced? No problem! You’re young. You have lots of time to meet someone else! You want a baby, don’t have one yet! You need to get a degree, start a career, buy a house or invent a new car first.
And I appreciate the thought. I know it’s meant to make me feel better but I’m kind of impatient so it doesn’t really work. When I think about it, I know I haven’t even lived half my life, if I only live to be 50. I don’t know if it helps but it’s true.
But there’s something else going on there, too. A friend recently reminded me that I have always been “older” than my peers, in my head. I think it’s still true today. I expect people to act differently than they do because I forget, they’re only 24. They are still young. It’s no wonder they’re concerned about sports cars. Or hooking up. Or partying. Or things that just never mattered much to me because I somehow managed to skip the decade in which those things are the only things that matter. I generalize, I know. I apologize if you feel like I’m applying a stereotype to you. I just mean to say that I am the exception, not the rule. Sometimes I forget that. But when I remember it or explain it someone else, we both understand me much more.
What’s more. I kind of like feeling and thinking like this. I don’t see anything wrong with it. I’m glad I’ve avoided some mistakes others have made (although, I’m not glad about my divorce). I’m just impatiently waiting for everyone else to join me. Maybe in 10 years they will. Maybe not.
Until then, I guess I still have plenty of time to work on that baby.
*They probably are using my real name.
1 Comment
I’m All Right
July 21st, 2010
He moved out almost two weeks ago. I am surviving. I have all the furniture so I am certainly doing better than him in that respect. d= I’m trying to look at the bright side of things and, to be honest, there are a dew things I don’t mind like..
Doing half the laundry.
Washing half the dishes.
Buying the food I want and eating what I want, when I want.
Not having to cook for two or share the meal I only made for one.
Not hearing the phrase “FML” every 5 minutes.
No annoying video game shooting the background.
I don’t have to share the TV.
I can set the temp of the A/C and the shower, however I like.
Having way less than half the mess to clean.
Not having someone so negative around all the time.
No need to worry about fighting.
Being able to decorate my way.
5 Comments
I Knew Better
July 13th, 2010
It didn’t take long for me to feel miserable about having sex. I tried to convince myself that it was “just” sex. I tried to be grateful that I was having it at all, especially considering that I won’t be having it anytime soon. But I couldn’t. I just don’t operate that way. Deep down, I knew I was doing it just to be close to him. Or maybe, just so we wouldn’t fight. If I was making him happy in some way, at least we weren’t fighting.
It got to the point where I cried every time. It got harder to orgasm and, when I did, it wasn’t satisfying. It was harder to accept his advances because I knew I was selling myself out. I don’t even know if he noticed that I was crying or, maybe, he just didn’t realize why.
It’s not his fault. I didn’t say “no.” Part of me did want it. Yet, it hurt. So I did start rejecting him. He stopped asking. I was miserable because I felt like we had lost our only connection. Yet, I knew it wasn’t much of a connection to begin with.
He left on Saturday. I’ve been decent, save for some computer problems. It’s amazing how quickly my desire for any stimulation has come back now that I don’t feel guilty or used. Earlier, I was missing oral. I considered texting him to come over. It’d be hot, I know. But would it be worth it? Probably not. I didn’t text him. I think.. that I’m glad of that.
Sex stopped being an awesome thing when it stopped being about love. It stopped being pleasurable. It stopped being appealing. It stopped being something I need and.. I may be okay with that.
5 Comments
Masturbation Methods
July 1st, 2010
Question for the female bodied folks. When stimulating your clitoris, do you go for direct clitoral stimulation, indirect stimulation (such as through panties/clothes or your labia) or broad stimulation that may include direct stimulation but doesn’t have to?
6 Comments
Two For You
June 25th, 2010
What is a reviewer to do when she accidentally requests the item from two companies? Why, she gives one to her readers, of course! So I will be giving away my second Ultimate Satisfier to one reader who wants to give it a whirl.
If you recall my review, you’ll notice I really liked the way this hugged my pubic bone and the G-spot stimulation was consistent. The handle was an interesting addition and would make thrusting easier for anyone who enjoys it. The elongated bullet is waterproof and the vibrator doesn’t require watch batteries, either!
But wait, there’s more! (Billy Mays style)
I’ve also been alerted of a brand new graphic novel-style sex advice manual from Kidder Kapper, with illustrations by Josh Lynch, and while I am not familiar with his podcast, I think the idea to combine practical advice with this graphic style is super interesting.
Sex is Fun! has the subtitle “creative ideas for exciting sex” and in it, you will find tips for:
- Talking dirty
- Writing a sexy letter
- Making sexy movie
- Fun with blindfolds
- Giving massages
- Introducing food to your love life
- Role playing
- And more
Penguin Publishing and Avery have come together to create this book for people of all ages and experience levels, including:
- The newly-wed couple just married and worried that they will lose interest in each other once their novelty wears off.
- The single guy looking to spice up his mojo.
- The single girl who has always had questions about toys but was too embarrassed to ask.
- The couple together for many years who know a thing or two about hitting each other’s sweet spots …but want to spice it up a bit.
Interested in either of these items? Go ahead and leave me a comment explaining either or both of the following:
- Why do you think you would like the Ultimate Satisfier?
- How do you think Sex Is Fun! can spice up your sex life?
You can increase your chances of winning by Tweeting, too! Something like this will do:
What do vibrators and graphic novels have in common? @adriana_r is giving away one each in her #2foryou contest! http://tinyurl.com/2foryou
And if you want to blog about it? Great! Include the link to this giveaway in your post and leave a separate comment when you do!
I will pick the winner a week from today. Rather than using a point system, I’m simply playing this one by ear and will award the prizes to the person(s) who wants it most!
Sponsored by SexToy.com, one of the biggest selections of sex toys, including G-spot vibrators online.
31 Comments
No News is Good News
June 17th, 2010
At least when it comes to paps and STD testing. It’s been a few weeks now and I’ve not heard anything back. It’s good to have one less thing to worry about in my life.
Comment
One of those days
June 2nd, 2010
Do you ever just have one of those days? I realized I had an opportunity to try out some new toys and lube and start my new erotica book when we lost power but I couldn’t get into the book. I wasn’t thinking and used a shit-ton of tingling lube, which I not only felt strongly but also had a bit of a reaction to. The first vibe I was using turned out to be wonky and my cervix and vagina were super sensitive. I couldn’t squirt at all and my tummy hurt. It was just one clusterfuck of frustration.
1 Comment
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