Dancing Bear

June 10th, 2012


$24.95/month from Dancing Bear

I may be a sex toy reviewer, and I may have enjoyed some porn in my time, but I’m definitely not familiar with all the Internet has to offer. After all, if it exists, porn can be made of it, or so they say. This appears to be the case with the folks behind Dancing Bear. The website offers CFNM Movies, which stands for “clothed female, naked male” and the naked male is actually some guy with a stuffed bear head who visits bachelorette parties and the like. It’s really not for me, personally. I prefer more penetration and naked everyone.

So the front page gives you a pretty good idea of what’s going on. Crazy college girls and women enjoying a night on the town get to watch the Dancing Bear shake and strip. It doesn’t lead to PIV sex, as far as I saw, but there’s a lot of oral–by them, to him–and sometimes anal. It’s not necessarily ‘softcore’, but I can see why it would be right up someone’s alley.

Content aside, the website is pretty typical. The main domain has a splash page, featuring images from videos. The bear is ripped, yo. You click past that to see some sample videos and images but, of course, the real deal is the membership. An ugly, giant blue link tells you how to get your password. The same link allows you to log-in; although, you have to click yet another link to finally sign in. It’s a bit annoying.

A 2-Day trial costs just $1, which I think is a pretty fair price. If you don’t like it, you’re only out a buck. The monthly membership is more affordable, at $24.95, while a year subscription is the most wallet friendly at just under $10 per month.

Once you sign up and log in, you’re brought to a hub powered by BangBros, the folks behind this Party CFNM website. The member’s areas shows what other people are watching and, by default, the newest Dancing Bear vids. You can re-organize it, of course, so if you’d prefer to see the most liked videos from the past month, that’s possible. It’s all pretty standard and easy to use.

If you just subscribe to dancing bears, you’ll see links to other genres or porn and stars, which may not be part of your membership. This could potentially become confusing; however, clicking these links will bring you to a page to purchase that additional content.

When you find the movie that you want to watch, you have multiple options. SD or HD videos are available, depending upon your monitor and Internet connection. You can also download a trailer, which is a feature that I like, or browse by chapters to find the exact content that will get you off. Dancing Bear allows you to easily navigate between full movies, trailers and chapters, which is handy.

You’re able to download videos in multiple file types to save for later, or view the MP4s in your browser, which I had no trouble doing. Some videos had only WMP files, which prompted Chrome to allow them to run. I’m not sure what exactly is up with the inconsistency. However, I experienced no lag for the light or medium videos on my cable connection.

The HD movies had no lag, but they didn’t load fast enough for me to skip through them, which is to be expected. The HD isn’t actually pixel-perfect HD, in my opinion. It’s good quality but could be better.

All of the videos have an amateur feel to them. Many seem to come from cameras that are mounted on a wall as to be out of the way, and the lighting isn’t always the best, but it’s far better than some porn I’ve seen. There’s no plot, and a lot of yelling from the watchers, so you may not love this type of porn if you prefer sensuous music or to hear the performers moan. On the other hand, it’ll sort of sound like you’re watching a sports match and not some porn. If you do find one that you especially like, you can add it to your favorites with ease.

Of course, the women aren’t performers, but the Dancing Bear men are. You can sometimes tell, as the man moves the women out of the way for the better camera angle. There’s definitely an air of “I’m just getting paid for this”, sometimes. Everyone has fun, and there’s a lot of laughter, but it’s not as genuine as some people might like. For example, I didn’t see a single clit get rubbed. So sad.

I think the following image depicts this critique pretty well:

Dick For The Masses

I did have some trouble viewing the screencaps and videos in Firefox and Internet Explorer. Some scripts didn’t work and IE didn’t want to play the MP4 videos, but that might simply be an issue with plug-ins on my end. Everything was smooth in Chrome. However, I noticed a significant number of broken images and videos when I tried to look at movies in chapter view, which was my favorite. This definitely disappoints. Depending upon how your browser handles broken images, this might simply seem like the page isn’t fully loaded.

Ultimately, Dancing Bear might be your cup of tea, and the website is easy enough to use. It has all the features of comparable sites. However, the inconsistent file types and broken videos and images really drag it down and make it seem unprofessional.


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