I Love My Boss

May 26th, 2009

..and you can be sure I’ve never had reason to say that before, until now. Unfortunately, the Boss vibrator has some of the same issues as real bosses. Like, there’s a couple different versions which leads to some confusion. Which is the real boss? Who do I actually report to? I mean, there’s the new Boss Lady in town with her pink, powersuit as reviewed by The Lesbian Lifestyle. But there’s also a couple more bosses who demand your intention. The original boss, even though his position seems to have been liquidated, can still be found, stuck in his old-fashioned ways. He seems to be making his presence, complete with dial-style controls, to Carrie Ann. Finally, some folks like Agent Ansley and myself are both familiar with with a sort of transitional Boss. You could say that while he looks more like the old Boss (colour), he acts more like the new one (control type). While some people prefer the old boss, he has been giving his pink slip and the Boss Lady is here to stay.

Like any employer, sometimes the Boss just doesn’t mesh with some folks. There seems to be a lot of issue revolving around opening the battery compartment on both styles. The battery cap pops off from the boss with sort of a partial twist which can be confusing. Furthermore, there have been reports of the Boss not completing all his duties fully or at all. He has failed to vibrate and/or pulsate for some unless they fidget with the battery pack or controls (and sometimes that doesn’t even help) but I think a boss should just do his job. Luckily for me, mine did.

If you’re considering the Boss to get the job done, you’ll notice he comes well dressed for the job. With his clean lines, defined head and velvety matte texture (which mine mean using an extra drop or two of water-based lube), it’s hard to not be drawn to the boss. The Boss has a gentle curve and substantial girth (1-3/5”) so heads up, size queens. With an insertable length of just under 7″, the Boss knows how to dress for success and his overall appearance lured me into cooperation.

But it was his performance that gets the best review! Although not the largest toy I own, The Boss feels incredibly fulling, even bigger than he is. The silicone is firm enough for thrusting but soft enough that he feels as though he’s conforming to me especially. One of the last toys I tried, while large, never felt filling. If there is one area in which the Boss excels, this is it! Were I to search for the perfect size and shape of cock, I would walk down the line up of cock with The Boss in my hand, comparing and I cannot help but wonder if anything or anything will compare. I definitely think the texture and shape of the Boss give the impression of a toy bigger than the Boss is but, hey, sometimes you have to know when to fool people into thinking you’re more than you are.

Billed as the perfect G-spot vibe, I didn’t find that he quite hit mine right during solo play but don’t doubt his firmness would make him the right man for the job if someone could intervene for me (damn my short arms). Yet, the Boss isn’t a man so hard you need to be afraid – he has a sensitive side. The Boss is definitely soft and flexible. The top half of the shaft is pure, flexible silicone while the motor is located toward the middle of the shaft, on the bottom half.

Using the Boss’s flexibility to my advantage has turned this into the perfect dual stimulation toy. I know he doesn’t look like much of a double tasker, but being able to bend him upward so that the little clitoral nub makes contact is amazing. Otherwise, I don’t think that little clitoral nub will do much of anything; in fact, that was even the thought I had about it right out of the package. While I’ve used the Boss to get off with the head on my clit, bending him has definitely provided the best orgasms. I find that I can sometimes get into such a rhythm that thrusting him provides stimulation against both my G-spot (the thrusting causes the vibe to curve back in a way it otherwise wouldn’t) and clit, in sequence.

I’m glad, for once, that The Boss proved me wrong. He has proved to be a much harder worker and easier to work with than I would have originally guessed. For instance, I thought he had some control issues, in the beginning. It was difficult to push his buttons to access the multiple levels of vibration and pulsation. My small hands struggled. However, because my grip on the toy was actually reverse when in use, I found the buttons easier to use this way and was soon provided with 7 or so pleasing levels of vibration (provided by 4 AAA batteries). While not the strongest toy in my collection (that pleasure goes to the Miracle Massager), the boss was not disappointing, either, and his 3 levels of pulsation were not the wimpy kind – I definitely felt them deep within. All the while, the Boss used only a suitable indoor voice and you’d never know he was just a room over. I would have to say, however, the the Boss does not perform consistently. The vibes were much stronger near the clitoral bump than the head of the shaft.

Of course, I’m a critical person and I couldn’t help but notice a specific area where the Boss’s traits were over-exaggerated a bit. Rumors about the Boss say that he is good at giving an extra boost to get the job done, when it’s really getting down to the line. I was not impressed by the turbo boost button at the end of the vibe. Essentially, it seems like an extra level of steady vibration which you can press when orgasm is near, to set you over the edge. I didn’t find the boost to be that powerful and the fact that you need to hold it down also hampers the effect. It would make more sense if, say, I could press the boost button once and get a few seconds of extra power without needing to hold it.

Nevertheless, there are a few understated qualities of the boss that make him a pleasure to work with. He’s not afraid to get his hands wet which makes him perfect for use in the shower and easy to clean.

If you can’t tell yet, I’ve really gotten used to working with the Boss and I look forward to our teamwork in the future.

9 Comments to “I Love My Boss”

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