My Last Word

February 17th, 2009

..On the subject of AAGs crusade against sex toy reviews

Originally I didn’t give AAG’s post much thought. I thought it was snarky but passed it over until I read many posts which discussed how insulted some toy reviewers were. Then, I gave it another look over.

AAG doesn’t want to read so many reviews. She feels they are perhaps, inferior, to other type of sex blog content and she suggested not only that sex blogs should get back to that content but that this is the point of sex blogs. Some agree, others don’t. I like to read and write reviews myself. Reviews may be increasing in popularity, I can’t say. AAG has certainly been around longer than I had so maybe she is better equipped to notice this trend.

What I have noticed, however, is that the terms ‘sex blog’ and ‘sex bloggers’ have varied definitions. They umbrella personal stories, articles, sex tech, reviews, erotica, sexual health and more. Some bloggers simply get lumped into the group because they write about their lives and they simply happen to be sexual beings. What this means is there is no definition to sex blogging; it pulls from every corner and every angle and envelopes every aspect of life along the way so it’s virtually impossible to define a sex blog. Thus, I would think it’s impossible to say what a sex blog should be.

And that’s why we’re up in arms. AAG asserted what she thought a sex blog should be but she didn’t stop there. She decided her definition was right and implied that somehow the majority of the internet is in agreement but I don’t know if this can be true. After all, how many of us disagreed enough to speak up? A damned good portion. And what we have to say is “Hey, we’re sex bloggers, too!”

Truth be told, AAG has said she wasn’t talking about sex toy reviewers per se which confuses me because doesn’t that, in the end, only further imply that reviewers are a less important part of the sex blogging community? But I digress. It has been suggested that AAG was only discussing blogs which were more personal have become increasingly full of reviews. And, if this is supposed to be the case, then I think we can all agree AAG did a piss poor job or wording her blog.

The problem many of us see is that we do not have blogs to talk about our personal lives or write articles or erotica (I have dabbled in all three, though) but we blog for our reviews and we happened to be lumped in with the greater sex blog population and now our “sex blogger cards” are being revoked, apparently. Blogging is a personal expression; we all have the right to choose what we post. Of course, no one is going to stop because AAG stated her opinion, but we’re going to be miffed that she acted as though her opinion was fact.

The fact of the matter is, I will write what I want. I will read what I want. In the recent past, this has not been AAG’s blog as I have found her blogging to grow continuously away from what I want to read. Rather than bitch about it, I move toward the blogs I want to read which is what I think she should have done instead. I would never think I have the right to say that how she writes make her any less legitimate as a sex blogger because I recognize that the types of blogs she likes and the types of blogs I like are just several types of the sex blogs in the greater sex blogging community and an even smaller fraction in the overall blogosphere.

Don’t like it? Stop hanging around that corner. You don’t have to finish a book you hate or a movie which makes you uncomfortable. You’re not required to stay with an abusive partner. No one is forcing you to read sex toy reviews. There are plenty of other sex blogs to sate whatever appetite you have so go read them. If you are “dismayed” to see more reviews than “sexy writing” on a blog, perhaps you’re simply at the wrong type of blog or assuming erroneously about what the blogger is trying to do with his or her website.

In summary, there is no right way to blog – sexual or otherwise but posting an entry which alienates a vocal group of people probably isn’t the best way to go about it either. (And, yea, I might fall into that category now, too)

8 Comments to “My Last Word”

  • CarrieAnn says:

    Honestly, I think the term “sex blogger” should be outlawed.

    There’d be way less drama if everyone wasn’t trying to be a sex blogger or define what a sex blogger can or can’t do.

    I say do what you want and fuck the labels. 🙂


  • I share a lot of your same views. I’m a reviewer, it’s what I do. I’m damn good at it so why should I try to create subpar content that focuses on everything but reviewing? My reviews excel when other topics I try to discuss fall flat. I’m not going to force myself in one direction just because the readers that agreed with AAG don’t want another reviewer popping up in this big ole sex blogging scene.

    AAG and the commentators that agreed with her talked heavily about integrity- my integrity includes my willingness to review, the fact that I STRIVE to be the best reviewer I can be. I’m not sacrificing pieces of myself or my soul because instead of writing a post about sucking the UPS dood’s cock I’m writing about the brand new toy sent to me from such and such e-tailer. And because such and such e-tailer did another toy reviewer wrong does not mean I’m not a valid community member or I’m a scum sucking bottom feeder because I have continued my affiliation with said e-tailer. I’m not going to squash a relationship I have with a company because a prominent or lesser known reviewer has been mistreated. It’s always a case of he said-she said. You wouldn’t end your marriage because one friend said your husband hit on her.

    Check out Domina Doll’s post, you’ll like it. 🙂

  • I agree with many of your points.
    I will continue to read your blog and probably AAG’s too: though for different reasons. You both are sex bloggers (at least to me) in your own way. And that’s okay. 🙂

  • alx says:

    No one is regulating sex toy production so I am glad there are sex toy reviews out there! It’s like a “consumer reports” of sex toys and is necessary. We thank you!

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