Reprieve

June 5th, 2014

my pussy’s wet, like wet enough to use that two-inch thick dildo that’s just been taking up space in my nightstand. he’s been spanking my ass for 20 minutes, and while I can’t see it I have no doubt that it’s bright cherry red. now his hand rests on my backside and I can’t tell what’s hotter, my scorched ass or the body heat radiating from his hands. it hurts but it also feels so good and that’s exactly why my pussy’s wet.

he knows it like he always knows. my underwear has long been discarded on the floor and he take this opportunity to introduce his hand to another sensitive part of my body. I feel his fingers first one and then two slipping between the creases of my labia. he glides them so skillfully inside me that I can’t help but wonder how he would have fared as a surgeon. but my thoughts quickly return to the here and now.

and first his finger seem like they’re not looking for any particular place. they’re rub up and down and back and forth. he makes sex feel emotions with his fingers inside my vagina as his thumb mirrors the motion on my clit. I instantly find myself almost pushing my body down his lap to get closer to fingers.

he’s consistent and begins rubbing my clit in earnest. his fingers stop there probing and migrate toward my g spot. it is here where he begins his expert manipulation of my most sensitive part. he knows how to stroke my g spot almost milking it until I ejaculate.

he places his other hand at the small of my back pressing down so that my body is limited in what it can do in response to his ministrations. I wiggled the nieces touch anyway as I feel my orgasm building. he’s made me c** like this many times before but every time it feels a little different. The tension increases as just my heart rate and I can hear my breathing becoming more ragged.

I can feel my orgasm a promotion and I’m on his name the way I know he likes right before I come. my mom she come up scared something more like a guttural primal noise as I feel the muscles in my vagina contract is my orgasm finally arrives. it subsides just as quickly and then he returns his attention back to my ass, the color of which surely faded while he was focusing elsewhere.

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Packaging — Worth the Price?

May 29th, 2014

AKA the reasons I hate bulky, “luxurious” packaging.

A box inside a box (with a bag inside!)

A box inside a box (with a bag inside!)

A few years back — man, have I been at this for a while — every review of a high-end item seemed to shout the praises of beautiful packaging. And for a while, I was pretty impressed, too. When I pure received my Pure Wand, I was impressed with the box and the layer of pink satin into which the dildo nestled. But that was almost five years ago, and I’ve since changed my tune. I think other people have, too.

Originally, luxury packaging indicated that companies were paying more attention to detail. If it was a non-porous material or made to the highest standards, it probably had to come in a big box. But this is no longer the case. In fact, some companies ship their wonderful toys simply in plastic bags. Don’t be surprised if you purchase an awesome dildo from Naughty but Nice and packaging is minimal. After all, this doesn’t effect use.

More people are coming to that realization, I think. They realize that, at the end of the day, luxury packaging doesn’t make a bad toy good. In fact, it may only increase the disappointment when you open an exquisite box to find a lackluster toy. Not only that, but it can take away from the time spent developing a luxury — or even a functional — sex toy. Years ago, people discussed Tantus’ now-defunct Alumina line. The price seemed high for dildos, and someone created a poll. The resounding answer was that more people would have purchased the products with a cheaper price tag because the company sacrificed the packaging, instead.

But packaging always makes a toy more expensive.  And perhaps that’s the point. When you charge more, you create a niche market for yourself. We’re luxury you say. Other items are just functional. Isn’t it time that people ask what’s wrong with being functional? It’s difficult not to wonder whether companies are paying too much attention to packaging and not enough to the toy itself. A pretty sex toy really isn’t worth a higher price if it doesn’t get me off. There is no exception to this rule.

Luxury packaging also irks me for a few more reasons.

  • It’s often not easily recycled or disposes off. Cardboard and bags? Most people have no problem with that. Mixed materials, PVC and other materials become harder to dispose of.
  • This sort of packaging calls attention to itself, which is less-than-discreet when it comes to recycling in community containers. Many people use these.
  • Luxury packaging is bulky, which makes it more difficult to store. Does a toy really need a big box and a storage pouch? The problem only increases when you’ve own a dozen Lelo toys or more. I’ve thrown out more boxes than toys I currently own. Seriously.
  • Bulky packaging can increase the cost of shipping.

However, this isn’t the way that everyone feels. Perhaps I am just jaded as a sex toy reviewer but some people want more companies to go the way of Lelo. Other people like boxes as storage. Still, more sex toy owners enjoy the attention to detail. Some people like them for gifts. Others find creative ways to reuse packaging.

While it certainly wouldn’t be feasible for companies to provide two sets of packaging, it isn’t impossible to create classy packaging that’s discreet but nice enough to use as a gift without sacrificing the ability to recycle it. However, the process to attract high-end consumers should come only after you have a solid product and not if the price increase will cut into your market share.

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Embrace Beloved Wand

May 28th, 2014

I’ve really liked the design of Cal Exotics’ new Embrace line. It’s made of silicone and the designs tend to be sleek and more luxurious than you’re used to when it comes to CEN items. The company now even uses more luxurious packaging, which I’ll have a post about soon.

Many of the toys in the line are also rechargeable, as is the one that I wanted most. I was sent a G-spotter that relies on AAA batteries.

I know. Sigh.

I hate toys that rely on AAA batteries. The vibrations are, without fail, weak and buzzy. The Beloved Wand is no different. Generally, my G-spot still responds, but that wasn’t the case with the vibe, which just had overly-weak vibrations that bugged the hell out of my hand.

The G-wand has 7 different functions and two buttons to use them. The buttons are on a flat panel on the base, which gives the Beloved Wand an interesting design in my opinion. It’s easy to turn on and off. Twist the base off to insert batteries. The Beloved wand uses sort of a gimmicky control setup. Each of the seven functions has seven different intensities. If you turn the vibrator on with the power button, it turns on to the lowest steady setting. The following vibration patterns/modes follow:

  • Medium steady vibes
  • High steady vibes
  • Slow pulse
  • short, short long pulse
  • Escalation
  • Five fast pulses, one long pulse

Pressing the power button once turns the toy back off, but pressing and holding it eventually turns down the vibrations. I’m not a fan of toys that do this. Like, what’s the problem? Start low. Go higher. It’s the natural order of things, folks!

The controls are totally awkward. It’s not always easy to tell when you’re switching between intensities. There’s no tactile feedback. Audible feedback isn’t consistent. I have no idea how to tell the difference between one setting and the next let alone determining when I can stop pressing. If you accidentally just press the power button, the Beloved Wand turns off.  It’s just dumb.

But here’s a positive. CEN is now creating toys of more colors than just pink or purple. This G-wand is also available in a matte grey, which is pretty awesome.

Some people will also like that the Beloved wand has a thicker shaft than many G-spotters. I don’t need girth as I use pressure and stroking to stimulate my G-spot. I don’t need to feel full, just stimulated. The Beloved Wand is thicker than Mona, for example. At 1.5″ at the end of the shaft, this is comparable to some of the larger internal vibes — like the Form 6 G3 — and water-based lube is definitely your friend. However, there is also a more drastic G-spot curve, and you can insert about 5.5 inches rather than both ends. At least, the edges on the base wouldn’t feel very good in my opinion.

It also features a rigid mechanism in the g-spot curve. Despite the plush silicone layer over this, it felt more rigid to me even though it’s silky smooth in my hand. I don’t know if I used this when my cervix/vagina was especially sensitive, but something about the design felt sharp. I actually pulled out the vibrator to see if there were any seams or angles, but there were none. T

he product description says this toy moves with your body but something about it just felt foreign. Like an intrusion. There is movement because the neck of the toy is flexible. You might not like this if you like frantic thrusting, and I know some people do. I don’t, but I think a hard toy all the way through is a little easier to manipulate.

Despite the flaws, this could be a decent vibrator if your anatomy likes it. It’s less than $60; although, you wouldn’t have to spend much more to get a rechargeable vibrators so keep that in mind.

CEN Sexpert

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If #NotAllMen Are “Bad,” Stop Acting Like You Are

May 27th, 2014

I have a problem with the #NotAllMen hashtag and misogynistic assholes. I plan to tackle these issues, perhaps not so succinctly, in this post.

First, #NotAllMen. It’s the trending topic that started when men wanted to point out that not all men are rapists. It’s true, according to numbers. According to numbers, however, it’s also true that most rapists are men and most victims are women.

The problem with #NotAllMen is it always comes across as “but I’m not a rapist.” Congratulations. Do you want a cookie? Not being a rapist isn’t good. It’s neutral. And you don’t get an award for being a human being who doesn’t hurt other human beings. This should be something we expect as society.

It’s the bare minimum you should be when it comes to not subscribing to sexism and rape culture. In fact, you can be “not a rapist” and absolutely be a douchebag.  Men don’t even disagree with this point. After discussing this with a guy friend, he said that he wants to point out that #NotAllMen are rapists or sexist because he isn’t, because he is personally offended to be associated with them. On the one hand, being repulsed by rapists or the idea that someone could think you are one is good. It shows a moral compass. On the other hand, that behavior brings the discussion back around to men. If there’s one thing that human rights advocates and feminists have been fighting to say, it’s not about you, men. It’s not about you. You are not the victim.

It’s also not about men who are victim to predatory women. Yes, this happens. Yes, it’s awful. No, this is not the forum to discuss it. Because that isn’t a result of system-wide hatred and objectification of men — but the idea that a man shouldn’t be so “weak” to become a woman’s victim is a result of misogyny.

And if pointing out that systematic hatred for and objectification of women hurts your feelings, I am okay with it if it also helps put an end to the societal constructs and beliefs that treat women as less than human. Because your hurt feelings don’t even fall on the scale of terror when rape and murder make that scale.  Think big picture. Do your hurt feelings pale in comparison to rape? I can live in a world where men are offended by this means women are safe.

Does defending yourself take attention away from the problem — a system that, at best, leaves women uncomfortable and worried about their safety for their entire lives? A system that, in reality, results in 1 in 8 women being a victim of rape in their lifetime and that fails to enact justice for rapists, some of whom are even able to continually harass their victims until their victims have to change their lives because they live in a world that does not protect them. Women live in a world where we are told to deal with harassment and abuse and then questioned as to what we did to cause it rather than a world that tells men not to harass or abuse women.

But maybe you’re not an abuser or a harasser. You’re a nice guy. At best, you’re #NotAllMen and you treat women as human beings and not objects. You are someone who everyone may describe as a nice guy. However, you’re still not helping to fix the problem. Ignoring the problem is the same as letting the problem persist.

What do I think men can and should do to help defeat rape culture?

  • Don’t advertise that you’re not a rapist. Simply be a decent human being whom others, especially women, can trust. You can build trust by not raping.
  • Don’t make rape/non-consent jokes. Call out inappropriate jokes whether it’s from your peers or a talk show host. Remember, in a room with 8 women, one of them is likely a victim or will be a victim. Your jokes could be triggering them again and again.
  • Skip catcalling women. Forgo objectification in general, whether it’s online, in person or during a discussion with your buddies.  Recognize that women are not there to look good for you. No one owes you that. Measure women on the merits of their character and skills, not their appearance. View women as complete human brings who do not just exist to get you something (sex, popularity, a cup of coffee).
  • Teach your sons not to rape. Do not teach your daughters that a certain aspect of dressing means they are “asking” for rape. Do not “slut shame” women for the way they dress, which has nothing to do with their sexual activity. Ditch the words “slut” and “whore.” You might even do away with “bitch.” On that note, do not judge women who are sexually active or celibate. Whether a woman chooses to have sex or not, she does not deserve to be a victim of harassment or rape.
  • Call out men who describe women who don’t want them as “bitches” or any other negative label. Explain to men that rejection is okay. Not every woman will be interested. This is a part of life. No one is entitled to another person’s affection or body. Let men know that they should leave women be who do not return their interest.
  • Engage in conversations about behavior that may actually contribute to rape culture even if that is not your intent. Let women express themselves without going on the defensive.

Because subtle versions of all these things mean you still subscribe to rape culture and misogynistic views. Even if you’re just mimicking things you’ve heard, you’re contributing to the problem. If you let other people around you do these things, you are actively part of rape culture. I know many men — and even women — who are so immersed in these things that they don’t realize how entrenched it is in society. Just because you don’t see it or even think about it doesn’t mean it’s not there.

The problem is that while most men don’t think about these things, haven’t even considered them, no woman is ever allowed to not think about them. It might not be all men who are a danger to women, but all men need to hear the message until all men are on board and, then, when a woman is victim of violence or harassment, we’ll know it was because of one unwell person. Not a person who was taught these things every day of his life and just treating women in a way that society taught him was acceptable.

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Magic Wand Original

May 25th, 2014

For the rest of this review, I am going to use “Hitachi” because it’s easier to type and my nails are wet and I am annoyed. So, okay.

If you’ve ever seen the movie Blair Witch Project and you were curious whose stupid idea it was to do the handheld camera thing, let me suggest this. The shakeyness was not due to holding it by hand. Rather, the tripod was attached to a Hitachi. The Hitachi may also been the cause of the earthquake that altered the planet’s axis and shortened the day.

This is, to say, the Hitachi is strong. It’s the strongest toy I’ve used. It’s stronger, on its highest setting, than the Miracle Massager. The Inspire. That one stupid rechargeable massager that I used once before tossing in my swap drawer, which omg-you-guys is getting so full! There’s a reason Hitachi has been around for a million and one years. It comes through where other vibrators don’t.

It’s effective as hell if you’re a power queen. It’s also strong enough to provide real comfort to achey bones and muscles, legitimately. If I place that thing on my clit, I feel it in my spleen. My nipples almost dance because of the strength of the Magic Wand Original.

And original it is! It hasn’t  changed in design for many years; although, the name and packaging got a revamp. But the design hasn’t changed. It’s clunky. It’s loud. Like a god damned chainsaw. It’s big. It’s not friendly if you’re injured or have arthritis. To be honest, I feel like Peter Dinklage would have a hard time using this monstrosity. I think this bums me out because I wouldn’t mind having sex with him.

Anyway, Peter Dinklage stands out among the crowd — not that’s not a midget joke, okay maybe it is — but the Hitachi doesn’t, at least, not when it comes to design. Perhaps this is because every other wand maker copies them. Don’t break what isn’t broke, right? But I’m not sure that this design isn’t broke. Or maybe I am broken. At the end of the day, I prefer the lighter, curved body of the Miracle Massager. It’s weaker, but I really only use the Hitachi on low (more on that soon, I promise!). They both have springy heads, but I find the weird round and spongey head on the Hitachi to be lackluster. Miracle Massager has this edge that I grind into my clint/pubic bone. Hitachi’s head is too round, and I don’t get the pressure I like. Inspire has an almost completely round head, but it’s smaller so I can really jam it up there between my labia. Is that a weird way to describe it? I don’t think I care.

Maybe I would like it better with an attachment. I’m sure I’d squirt like hell all over with the g-spot accessory. but I already have g-spot toys that are pretty good at that and they’re far less cumbersome.

Okay, so the shape isn’t to my liking but maybe that would be okay if the Hitachi knocks my socks off? And I would be lying if I said it wasn’t strong enough. In fact, it’s too strong like I eluded to earlier. I only ever use it on the lower setting, which I prefer because the vibrations are deeper here. It’s not like the high setting is buzzy, but I just like really rumbly vibrations.

But the problem with a vibrator so strong is that it detracts from what I am feeling. It’s overwhelming. It feels and sounds.. too much. I wind up pulling away when I am about to orgasm because I guess my orgasms are hard work — even with the Hitachi — and not very strong. I like to feel my muscles contracting and whatnot and the Hitachi is just too.. distracting. I literally wind up turning it off, but this makes it a little disappointing.

I’m well aware that my issues with the Hitachi are some of my own, but I think most people are looking for the right balance between shape, strength, effectiveness, and noise. The Hitachi just doesn’t it for me.

5 Comments


Icicles No. 52

May 20th, 2014

My last experience with an Icicles dildo didn’t turn out so well. In fact, my first was pretty lackluster, and I wound up trading it away so maybe it was a little risky for me to try another one. However, I thought the elongated tentacle design of this dildo would better fit me than any of the Icicles dildos I’ve tried thus far. I was right.

In fact, I would go so far as to say that this dildo is shaping up, literally, to be one of the best G-spot dildos I’ve ever owned. I know that it won’t be fantastic for everyone. If you need that drastic curve, then you might try Fun Factory’s Curve or the Pure Wand, which most people love for its curve. In fact, I found it difficult to find reviews of dildos with intense G-spot curves on Of Sex and Love. I just don’t like them! I’ve tried more G-spot vibrators that hit the spot, that’s for sure.

So this glass dildo head a curve, but it’s less intense. There’s also a bulb. I personally find that the shape perfectly cups my pubic bone and reached my G-spot with ease. It provided perfect stroking and while I don’t have trouble with squirting, it was so easy with Icicles No. 52. The gentle curving really made it easy to use even if it wasn’t necessarily the most filling toy I’ve ever used.

This is a fairly long and narrow  dildo at 7 1/4 inches long. You can technically insert most of it if you’d like. Although, I don’t think you’d want to. Toward the center of the shaft, the diameter is 1 1/4 inches wide. It’s not a very intimidating toy in my opinion, and I use just a dab of lube with it. You may not need any if you’re already warmed up. The bulb on the head is smaller than that, however. You can insert under 1″ thick if you don’t insert the dildo very far, and I found that I didn’t need to.

The glass provides rigid stimulation if you like it that way. The design is lighter than metal of a similar style but heavier than wood. There’s also texture on the shaft that is reminiscent of a tentacle. It’s engraved rather than ridges so you might not notice it as much. The sides of the shaft, which flattens out a bit, are smooth. So is the other end, which is an open loop that servers as a handle. Maneuvering this dildo is easy, even if your hands are full of lube.

Like all glass, it’s nonporous. You can clean it in a million ways. It’ll warm up against your body and in warm water. You can cool it down, too.

Icicles toys come in foam inserts in thin cardboard boxes. There’s no storage bag so you may want to invest in one if you’d like to protect it. I have enough fabric storage in my drawer that I can rest a glass toy in there without worries. A towel will also do the trick.

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Hedo Vibes #42

May 20th, 2014

IMG_6937Photo courtesy of Bex

Welcome to HedoVibes, a collection of reviews and giveaways that were posted in the past week or so from around the web. This is a collection of adult product reviews & contests from real reviewers. If you want to be included in the next edition start with the guidelines, then use the submission form.

Want to read more reviews? Check out HedoVibes for a list of the latest reviews and stellar reviewers. You can also follow on twitter for the latest round ups. HedoVibes is also accepting photo submissions for each edition.

CONTESTS

DILDOS

VIBRATORS

ANAL TOYS

BONDAGE, IMPACT & FETISH GEAR

STRAP-ONS

CONDOMS & LUBES

EROTIC BOOKS

MISCELLANEOUS

hedo150

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Pjur Med Clean Fleece Moist Towelettes

May 18th, 2014

I’ve had a bottle of Pjur Med-Clean Spray for some time. I don’t use it as much as I should simply because it keeps winding up in my spare toy drawer. However, I was always super impressed that it wasn’t your run-of-the-mill toy cleaner. It’s gentle enough to clean your toys and leave on if you don’t have physical dirt to remove. I recommended still rinsing your toys if that was the case in my review of the spray. However, it’s tough on bacteria an germs. Pjur’s cleansing products are designed to help combat bacteria, fungi and viruses, and I don’t know anyone who is a fan of those things. Especially when you consider how long HPV can stick around on your toys — even the porous ones!

The product description uses the phrase “ an intensive antimicrobial effect against bacteria, fungal infections, and viruses such as Hepatitis B and HIV.” I remember reading this years ago. This has always stuck with me, but I never got around to trying or buying the wipes, which are formulated more for your body rather than your toys. The wipes aren’t different than others I’ve tried in use. Open the package, remove a wet wipe. Wipe down toys or yourself. They are unscented, but there is a slight “clean scent.” It fades quickly. I sometimes reach for the wipes when I want to freshen up without a shower. They do that, and the smell doesn’t linger in a way that would put me off from oral sex.

I know that Doc Johnson is making products to freshen up specifically for oral sex, but these are more versatile, and they’re a better value, too. The Oralove lign isn’t readily available. A 5-pack of those wipes costs between $5 and $8 while Pjur’s wipes come in a 25-pack for just under $12 from SheVibe.  They’re obviously a better deal and that isn’t even factoring in the fact that these wipes may possibly help inhibit the spread of STIs or bacterial infections, and we all know that I am not a fan of those. Because of this, I would even recommend using wipes after sex to help lower the risk of UTIs if you tend to be prone to them.

I’ve experienced exactly zero reaction from using these wipes. They’re intended to be safe for sensitive and even irrited skin, which is important when I run out of Aftershave Oil. The ingredients list is as follows:

  • Purified Water
  • Phenoxyethanol,
  • Cocamidopropyl Betaine
  • Chlorhexidine Digluconate
  • PEG-7
  • Glycerol
  • Cocoate
  • Dimethicone Copolyol
  • Neohesperidine dihydrochalcone
  • Sorbitol

These are exactly the same ingredients as the spay so you could probably mix the spray with some soft towels of your own to make wipes like this to be honest. I’m a little lazy (and sloppy!), but that might be more cost-effective. If you don’t experience irritation from the spray, then you’ll be good with the wipes and vice versa.

I do rather enjoy the quality of these wipes, though. They’re soft but not linty. They don’t easily tear like some of the cheaper wipes I’ve used. It may sound silly, but you really get what you pay for when it comes to these things. Some store brands are fucking terrible.

Now that I’ve been reminded how much I like these products, I will quickly use

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I Haven’t Used a Condom in 8 Years

May 16th, 2014

Condoms in a rowThis was a post that I thought of not too long ago. It struck me that most single people use condoms as both birth control and to protect against sexually transmitted infections, but my case is a little different.

It’s been over eight years since I last used a condom. In fact, the only person I’ve ever used a condom with was my ex-husband. However, shortly after moving to Japan to live with him on a military base, I got my first IUD. I kept that in longer than the FDA-recommended 5 years in the US. Mirena is rated for 7 years overseas, and I wasn’t sexually active for several years after my divorce.

My first sexual experience occurred in early 2013, and by that time, I was using my second IUD. I hadn’t had it in very long — maybe 6 weeks — and I can honestly say that I should have used a condom with this new partner, but I didn’t. I did, however, wind up taking Plan B and making an extra appointment at Family Planning. Everything was fine.

Since then, I’ve had only one partner, the bartender, and we’ve never used condoms. I don’t mind condoms as a whole, but I never wanted to use them with him. I wanted — and continue to want — to feel him. He asked about condoms the first time we had sex, but I set a precedent that we follow more than a year later.

In all, I haven’t used condoms in almost a decade. I’ve handled them only to stuff a Halloween pumpkin pinata full of alcohol, condoms and booze. There are a hanful floating around my bedroom thanks to sex toy retailers that send condoms and lube samples with their packages. If I need a condom, I know where to go.

However, they’re just not part of my sex life in a natural way. I don’t carry condoms in my purse. Nor do I have them in my pocket or make sure to grab them when I think that I might have sex. Indeed, I no longer think about condoms with lubes or bumps or ridges. I don’t care about condoms that heat up or cool down or are made of mesh. To be honest, I wouldn’t necessarily mind that. I didn’t dislike condoms as much as I do silicone lube, which seems to create a far greater barrier between me and my partners.

The bartender loves — and I cannot emphasize this enough — loves cumming in me.  I haven’t been able to get him to cum in my mouth because he loves orgasm during penetration so much. It’s almost amusing that he doesn’t want to deviate from that. It’s endearing; although, condoms certainly do make for a less messy sexual experience. But that alone isn’t enough to justify the cost of condoms when I have another, better method of birth control.

For many people, condoms are the answer, but I am not one of those people, at least, not at this point in my life.

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HedoVibes RoundUp #41

May 12th, 2014

WoodDildoPhoto courtesy of Dangerous Lilly

Welcome to HedoVibes, a collection of reviews and giveaways that were posted in the past week or so from around the web. This is a collection of adult product reviews & contests from real reviewers. If you want to be included in the next edition start with the guidelines, then use the submission form.

Want to read more reviews? Check out HedoVibes for a list of the latest reviews and stellar reviewers. You can also follow on twitter for the latest round ups. HedoVibes is also accepting photo submissions for each edition.

CONTESTS

DILDOS

VIBRATORS

ANAL TOYS

BONDAGE, IMPACT & FETISH GEAR

STRAP-ONS

CONDOMS & LUBES

LINGERIE & SHOES

EROTIC BOOKS

MISCELLANEOUS

hedo150

 

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