2014: The Best Of

December 29th, 2014

Another year. Another couple dozen reviews of sex toys. There were fewer this year than the last. This might be due to me having more sex. Or perhaps there were fewer toys that I really loved.

In fact, while populating this list, I worried I wouldn’t have enough best-ofs. I suppose that’s bound to happen, and I might accept the blame of trying out some toys that wouldn’t work well for me if I had looked past the shiny and read the small print. Oops.

But, there’s definitely some toys I would recommend, so here they are!


Svakom is an up-and-coming company. I had a hit-or-miss relationship with the toys they send to review, but Leslie is a self-heating vibrator with respectable power output.

Minna’s Limon took me quite by surprise, quickly becoming one of the most intuitve vibrators I’ve ever used.

I also quite like Ora 2, but it’s the stuff it does besides vibrating that does it for me.

ceramix 5 and 6

Ceramix 5 (right) left a surprising impression


2014 was light on dildos. I only tried a couple, and both of those were from Pipedream’s Ceramix line. Ultimately, I preferred #5!


Move over 50 Shades of Grey. Wrapped Around Your Finger is actually a book worth reading, and there are more in the series!

Sexual Non-Fiction

I’m technically a year behind and I didn’t even write a review for Best Sex Writing 2012 (I did write a review for the next year’s). But I think it might be the best in the series and you’re missing out if you don’t check it out.


The Bettie Page Spanking Paddle is manufacturer by Lovehoney and full of the details you’d want while offering a sexy spanking.


Designed Intimates sent me quite a lot of lingerie to review. I especially enjoyed the Charming chemise and thong.

Bath and Body Product

SheVibe let me try the Flirty Little Secret Pink Caviar Scrub With Pheromones. It’s slippery but smells great and works well. It’s been a nice addition to my shower routine!


Lovehoney is rocking 2014’s list. They also made the Deluxe Sex Toy Case, which is probably my all-time favorite option for sex toy storage!

As always, I recommend the best toys from years past. Check out my list of 5-star sex toys!

Don’t forget to let us know about what you loved in the comments.

Have a good new year. I plan to!


$100 Designer Intimates Giveaway

December 23rd, 2014

Designer Intimates was kind enough to send me more than a few items to review, and they’ve also offered to sponsor a giveaway for $100 credit to the store. That’s right, one of you Of Sex and Love readers will have enough to get a few bras, panties, chemises or whatever else your little heart desires. They’ve recently begun to carry leggings and tank tops, so you can comfortably lounge around the house, too.

This is a great Christmas gift for you, or you could buy your partner some awesome things and save them for a birthday or Valentine’s Day, which isn’t even that far away now!

Adore Bra and Vanessa Thong

Adore Bra and Vanessa Thong

Designer Intimates has an awesome sale going on right now, where you can save up to 60% on some items. I’ll try to keep my readers updated about other sales, too!

The store sells items from designer brands, including Felina and Jezebel, among others. There’s a ton of matching items, but you can certainly mix and match. If you read my review of Designer Intimates, then you know some of my favorite items:

But shopping will be plenty of fun for you and perhaps your partner, so I don’t want to take that fun away from you! Designer Intimates recently relaunched their site, so it’s easier to shop than ever.

Use the Gleam form below to enter:

$100 Designer Intimates Credit

Good luck!

Come back daily for more entries!

Ends January 20th.

I was compensated for this review and giveaway in the form of product. All opinions are mine. I will earn a small commission if you make purchases after clicking the links in this post. Thanks for supporting me!


A Brand Spanking New Idea

December 22nd, 2014

Spank my pussy

“What?” my request seems to pull him into the present. “Why?” He seems to consider.

“Because it will feel good”

He seems unsure but reaches out and playfully pats my lower lips.

“Like this?”

But that’s not at all like what I want.


Another slap. Does less terrible count as good? I don’t think so. I didn’t my head”no.” It seems to make him think I’m challenging him on purpose but I’m not. He reaches out and suddenly smacks my cunt with a resounding and rewarding “thwack.”

He can’t even open his cocky mouth to ask if that’s what I want before I’m yelling “yes.” I know he was trying to prove a point but that’s exactly how I like it. He likes it too, I can tell.

“I see.” He seems to be processing the data. I can almost see the gears in good brain moving. He comes to the right decision when he decides to kneel between my legs and spank my pussy again.

And again.

And again.

Again and again.

Once more for good measure.

My pussy lips sting and I’m sure they’re red to look at, but it’s not just the external parts that have responded to his smacks. He slips his fingers inside me. First two, then three. We usually don’t do any more than that but then he pushes in another. It feels like there’s room for all of him inside of me I’m so wet.  He murmurs appreciatively at this, his fingers inside me working at my g-spot as he mirrors the movement with his thumb on my clit. It seems like it doesn’t take any time at all before I’m coming.

This becomes a regular thing and not just during sex. Whenever I can, I wear a skirt and he pushes it up around my hips. His fingers push my panties — if I’m wearing any — to the side side and he spanks my pussy. Sometimes he readjusts my panties and skirt and we go on about our lives.

Other times, he bends me over the nearest piece of furniture — the back of a love seat, a railing, a desk. And with my skirt hiked up over my hips, I spread my legs and he answers me from behind, thrusting deep into my cunt, which is wet from him spanking me. Neither of us seems to last long. Whether it’s from the spanking or the fact that we’re usually in a public place I don’t know. But we fuck our way to our impending orgasms before pulling my skirt back down around my thighs and I’m walking away like nothing happened.

It was his idea that we let someone else watcher but I wasn’t opposed. The more I thought about it, the hotter it sounded. So you put out an ad on Craigslist and waited for the right person to reply. I wasn’t positive if this was the best way to go about it, so I was surprised one day when we had not one but two responses that seemed realistic.

One was a woman, and aspiring dominant, who just wanted to see a little power play in person. She said she wanted to dress up the way she thought her future clients would enjoy and relax while she watch my partner spank my pussy. She didn’t even wanna join in, and it didn’t sound like it was going to arouse her but maybe that’s just what we needed our first time.

The other was a middle-aged man who made no secret of how erotic he found the entire situation. He wanted to watch and would it be too much to ask if he also jerked off? Since we were putting on a show and there would be no touching, we didn’t see anything wrong with it. We said “Yes” to them both.

We invited her over one afternoon. She arrived in a modest sedan. She was clad head to foot in a mixture of black leather and PVC. At first, I asked myself if this could be real. Did people really dressed like that? But here she was.

I made nervous small talk as I ushered her into our home. She sounded less confident than she looked, but she followed me, making polite comments about our decor. We stopped in the living room and I perched on the sofa. My partner entered with three glasses of wine, and I took one but she declined. She informed us that we could proceed whenever we wanted. I sipped at my wine to take the edge off, but I decided that it wasn’t going to get any less awkward.

I reached for my lover’s hands pulling him closer to me. As I lay back on the sofa, I pulled him down on top of me. We quickly kissed before he moved his way down my body, pulling my shorts and panties with him. By then his hands had gotten used to spreading my legs in preparation for the spanking. My body must have gotten used to this, too, because I could already feel myself getting wet.

He caressed the palm of his hand against my vulva and my clit in an attempt to calm me. I breathed deeply through my nose through my nose to allow the tension to leave my body. As I did this, the first smack landed on my skin. I squealed even though it was much lighter than I was accustomed to. With her eyes on us, everything seemed to feel more intense.

I saw her try not to flinch. I regained my composure when he hit me the second time and managed nothing but a small smile. She seem to follow my lead, sitting upright in our overstuffed armchair with her legs crossed in front of her. His eyes never strayed from me. He kept glancing between my face and my pussy. I could tell that he wanted to make sure it was still okay with this and that he would stop it at any moment if I indicated otherwise, but I wanted to continue.

What followed was a barrage of smacks, landing at different angles and intensities. He changed his method more than he typically did so I wouldn’t tired before we provided our strange guest with a satisfying show. I found the inconsistency arousing and could feel myself getting wetter. He would pause to rub my vulva,  and subtle eye contact revealed that he was well aware of my level of arousal. But like so many times before, it wasn’t going to go any further.

He finished the session with the series of loud and rapid spanks. Some of them even seem to echo off the walls and push my body away from him. I couldn’t help but gasp and moan. Our guest widened  her eyes at this approach. I don’t think she had anticipated that my lover was going to end with such a grand finale. When he finally stopped, I could tell from the heat between my legs that my pussy was glowing red. I knew I wasn’t going to put on another pair of panties until the next morning at the very least.

My partner stood up, slowly making eye contact with the stranger in our living room. He smiled and motioned at me.

“As you can see, she’s has quite enough.”

“Yes, I agree,” the woman replied as they both moved out of the room. I stayed where I was, forcing my heavy breathing to normalize. I heard the front door close in the other room and then his footsteps for coming back to me.

“Well, darling, how was that?” he asked if he approached me.

“It was different.” I was still processing. “But not bad.”

“Good,”he replied, One hand one his belt. He quickly undid the button and dropped those jeans around his feet. As he did this, his cock sprang free. It was hard and already a drop of precum glistened on the head. I hadn’t closed my legs and he took advantage of that to enter me. He was on top of me in one swift movement.

My labia burned, and with every thrust his day-old stubble felt like a million pins digging into my skin. But as much as it hurt, it felt twice as good. We had barely gotten settled before my arousal grew into an orgasm. As my muscles contracted around his cock, he couldn’t stop from coming either. We collapsed in a sweaty pile on our sofa.

With the first try a relative success, we decided to invite the man we met on Craigslist to our home. The more my mind played over the events with the reserved woman, the more it seemed liked something that I liked. And while I realized that, the man wanted to do a bit more, I felt bold enough to invite him into our private lives.

His eager replies plainly painted a picture of his voyeuristic tendencies. It was obviously too late for my partner and I to claim that we weren’t exhibitionists, but the woman we had met on our first encounter had been so passive that it almost hadn’t felt like we were putting on a show. I couldn’t help but wondered if she had judged me, my partner or us as a couple, but I had no idea. Either way, I felt as though I had to put on a show for the second go around.

I expressed a hesitant sort of excitement to my partner, who was quick to allay any lingering fears I might have. He was certain the second time would be even better than the first. So with a little trepidation and a little more alcohol in my system, we invited another stranger into our home.

While the fledgling domme might have been memorable due to her stereotypical garb, this man was entirely forgettable. He was like the sort of man who walks around in the background on TV shows: nondescript. He seemed the sort of polo-wearing IT professional that I’d have chatted with at work when my computer went down. In short, he was not intimidating.

He also wasn’t arousing. His presence in our home didn’t do anything for me. So as my partner helped me shimmy out of my skirt and panties, my lips weren’t swollen and glistening with my arousal. Nor did my nipples show any sign of excitement as he pushed the cups of my bra beneath my breasts.

My partner, observant and loving, seemed to notice this when his first few blows seemed to catch me off guard. My body remained tense, the impact uncomfortable. As I prepared for another, my lover shocked me by instead grabbing my ass and pulling my hips forward so that my clit met his mouth. His practiced tongue sliding along the side of my clit that always seemed to be more sensitive. I sighed and pushed my hips toward him, a sign that he correctly took for my finally being in the right head space.

As quickly as his oral attentions had begun, he pulled away and begun raining blows upon my cunt. His hand seem to hit the mark every time, sometimes making contact with his soft but strong palm. At other times, I could feel his knuckles against my clit and vulva, making sore the spots that had received the most contact.

I was thoroughly enraptured, my gaze intent upon his face as he administered his craft when I heard the jingle of the stranger’s pants. I had forgotten all about him, when I glanced at him out of the corner of my eye. As he rested in a chair, he’d unbuttoned and unzipped his khakis to reveal a hardon that was anything but forgettable. It was suddenly apparently where all the focus had gone during the creation of this man. His thick shaft and the perfectly contoured corona held my gaze for longer than I would have thought when he first walked into my living room.

As the man’s hand wrapped around his dick, my partner drew my attention back to him with a smack across the side of my face. My cheek stung, and I could suddenly smell the musk of myself so close to my nose.

“So you want a cock, do you?” His voice sounded stern, but I could see the glimmer in his eye.

Just like that first time he had spanked me, he was ready to take me, quickly pulling his belt free from its confines.  His jeans dropped to the ground around his ankles and his cock straining against perfectly-fitted boxer briefs. This hadn’t been part of the plan at all, but I couldn’t bring myself to say “No.”

Instead, I just nodded, and he knelt in front of the couch, pulling my legs around his hips so the tip of his cock could glide into my pussy. I bent my knees to hold him between my legs as tightly as possible. My nipples stood erect now, and somewhere in my periphery the stranger panted heavily as he worked his own cock.

My partner’s cock was buried in my cunt, slick with my juices and fitting perfectly like it always seemed to. While I was used to measured thrusts that would typically enable my partner to last longer, his own desire resulted in fervent strokes. His hips seemed to be moving quicker than my eyes could follow, but I could feel every time his hips pressed into mine and my labia burned after my spankings.  I had underestimated just how arousing this situation might be for him.

I imagined that the stranger’s eyes were glazed over just like those of my lover’s as he gaze somewhere over my shoulder. A few minutes of thrusting, and he was ready to come. But he hadn’t forgotten why we were here after all. Before he let himself be overtaken by a powerful orgasm, he reached out to slap my clit. I yelped, shocked, then moaned as this sudden smack brought on my own orgasm.

It was quick and shallow, but it was enough. My partner’s own orgasm seemed to burst from him, sapping him of strength as he collapse onto me. A jagged moan from across the room reminded us that we weren’t alone. This new stranger — as if you can call a man who has jerked off while watching you fuck a stranger! — had also come. His seed stained the front of his pants and dripped down his knuckles.

I managed to direct him to the bathroom sink. He nodded graciously before disappearing into the hallway. My partner lifted himself from me, and I pulled myself from the sofa, which I had almost seemed to become a part of. As he pulled his pants up, I grasped for my own clothes that were strewn upon the cushions.

His familiar smile was too much. I smiled back, feeling a warmth overcome my body and almost forgetting the burning of my pussy due to his spankings.

At that moment, the stranger reemerged, making his way toward the front door. He paused and turned to us, struggling for words.

“Thank you. That was,” an awkward pause, “something else.”

My lover nodded in the man’s direction. I remained motionless, unsure of the decorum that would be more appropriate in the situation. The stranger exited our home, quietly closing the door behind him. But I had a feeling that many more would use that door in the days to come.


Penthouse Variations on Oral

December 18th, 2014

One of the newest books from Cleis Press, which has made me a very happy reviewer and reader this year, is “Penthouse Variations on Oral.” Oral sex is one of my favorites, which I’m sure can be said for many of you readers. Giving and receiving are both fun, and this collection of stories will hopefully provide a look into book.

The description is as follows

Mind-blowing oral sex can be the epitome of pleasure itself. Curated by the editors of the wildly popular Penthouse Variationsmagazine, this voracious volume goes deep into the throes of oral delight. Both new and well-known erotic writers satisfy the hungriest mouths while dishing up an array of below-the-belt feasts. In this collection of short stories, lovers explore the delicious ways oral sex can be an act of affection and tenderness, a testament to devotion, or an expression of pure, hot lust. Going down is an experience meant to be savored…and shared.

Alison Tyler, erotica editor and writer extraordinaire, is just one of the authors who you’ll read in this book. Her story, among others, might remind you of your own exploits or inspire you to try something new.

I tell you about all of this because I’ve been given the opportunity to give one of you a chance to win a copy of this book to add to your shelf or nightstand.

Enter using the widget below.

Good luck!

Penthouse Variations on Oral

Open to US.

Giveaway ends December 31.

1 Comment

Lelo Ora 2

December 18th, 2014

Ora 2
$159 from SheVibe

Let me just start with this “Fuck the haters.”

Seriously. Fuck the haters.

Lelo’s Ora “oral sex simulators” won’t work for everyone. But I like it. And I think some of you will, too. So II’m going to write a review heralding the positives because someone has to do it. And I, brave sex toy review readers, am that someone.

I don’t want to sing blind praises. There is some fair criticism of Ora 2 and what Lelo has been doing lately.

Yes, it’s dumb for the second version of a toy to come out less than a year after the original. Lelo should have tested more and come out with this instead of the original Ora, which I felt lukewarm about at best. It may very well be that Lelo is focusing on quantity over quality lately, but I liked few toys of theirs even when they took longer to release them. The ratio seems about the same. So whatever.

No, I don’t think that hole in the design is awesome. It barely fits two fingers, and even then, they’re not in a position for the rest of my hand to operate the toy or apply pressure the way I like. And this silly plastic ring is like a magnet for the kind of shit that you should only see in a petri dish, I am sure.

Yes, Lelo’s packaging is only impressive the first half dozen times around. It’s almost completely useless after I take a toy out of the box, and I’m sick of ripping the damned foam innards to shreds just to recycle it.

And, no, Lelo didn’t know what they were doing with that stupid banker toy. Like, what the fuck, guys?

But Ora 2 is an improvement over the original, whether that original was tested enough or not. While the original was a good idea and an improvement toys like Sasi, which had already attempted to simulate oral sex for a woman (and a toy that I liked.. while it worked), it wasn’t good enough in real life that I could recommend it, especially at its high price tag.

Lelo has changed very little with the Ora 2. Size and shape are essential identical. They’re probably using the same molds for many of the parts. But the company has increase the size of the rolling ball that provides the clitoral stimulation and made it protrude more, which equals greater and most consistent contact.

And I like it. It feels closest to receiving oral than and other toy. It makes me feel a little less shitty about boys who break my heart and being single and fuck-less. Because, hey, this feels pretty good. At least I have this.

There’s another change that I find to be an improvement, and that’s Lelo’s SenseTouch technology. After pressing the button to active it for 5 seconds, the toy will respond to how hard you press it against your skin. It’s really sensitive, which is a boon. You can barely brush your skin, and it turns on. If you’re like me and you enjoy grinding against things, this will crank it up to maximum. If you have the right body type, you could hold this in between your thighs for hands-free stimulation; although, you won’t get precise control this way.

I guess this was a feature of the Smart Wand, and I didn’t notice. Oops. But it makes much more sense with how I use Ora.  The general design of the mobile ball and how it’s situated within this vibrator also work for pressure and grinding, which are my favorite parts of oral, by the way. It creates a little platform against my vulva, and I can grind until I’m panting and cumming and covered in sweat.

Maybe that’s not for you, though. If you want to use a separate toy internally at the same time, you’ll probably find Ora to be bulky. Indeed, the shape could be improved. Like I mentioned, the hole doesn’t make sense functionally. It’s more about form. My hands still wind up cramping because of this. Bummer.

The vibrators that go with Ora 2 aren’t anything like the Hitachi, but considering the source, they’re fairly deep and strong enough. Acceptable. Better than the Smart Wand with its gigantic size.

I am worried that the battery life is a little low. Because I like Ora 2 so much, I’ve been using it for around the full hour per session, which means I’m going to have to charge it every time. Get on that, Lelo.

And I’d like the track the ball moves on to be smaller and tighter. I’d get more direct clitoral stimulation while holding Ora 2 in place if this was the case.

Really, though, the improvements that Lelo has focused on make a serious difference. Perhaps the Ora 3 will be perfect, if Lelo ever makes it. For now, I’m happy enough for Ora 2, and I seriously recommend you give it a shot if..

  • You liked Ora but would have liked some of these improvements
  • You enjoy oral sex
  • Pressure and grinding are important to your masturbation style

Maybe you’ll want to wait for a sale, because $160 – $180 is certainly a lot for a toy that you may not love. You can get a free $15 SheVibe gift card if you purchase $125 right now, however.


Designer Intimates Lingerie Review

December 16th, 2014

Let me start this with a huge “Thank you” to the folks from Designer Intimates, who offered me a ton of stuff to review and an opportunity to host this giveaway. And they were super patient while I caught up with my other reviews.

If you follow me on Twitter, you’ve seen the photo of my haul, which includes bras, panties and a sexy chemise. Designer Intimates sells lingerie from a few designer brands, including Jezebel and Felina, among others. They have an impressive collection but not one so large that you’ll get lost in it.

Charming Chemise and Thong

Let’s start with the Charming Chemise, which I am currently wearing. I love love love this piece and the matching thong. I’m so excited that my favorite piece was the one I wanted the most. It’s available from sizes small to XL, and I asked for the XL in Crushed Berries. This is a medium pink color.

Super comfy Charming Chemise

Super comfy Charming Chemise

There isn’t anything I don’t love about this. It stretches perfectly over all my curves.I recently moved to a 40 bra band, and this is comfortable, but there’s a little room for stretch. On my 5’2″ frame, the hem hits about mid-thigh. It’ll obviously be shorter on you taller ladies, but I don’t think that would be a problem!

It’s comfortable enough to sleep in or lounge around in all day like I am. The lace on the cups is feminine and flirty — and reminds me quite a bit of the Lace Appeal Chemise with smaller lace — but there’s a layer of fine mesh beneath this which is both comfortable and provides some modesty.

The lace straps are wide, and it feels like they offer more support, and there’s some adjustability to the elastic bra-style straps in back. They fit well on my C/D cups, but I think you could go up a cup size comfortably. The material is silky soft but doesn’t snag on nails and other items.  Quality of this chemise is impressive. I’ve worn it to sleep and it’s fared amazingly.  If I had any complaint about this item, is that the material can get a bit cool so I wouldn’t wear it below freezing. But I also don’t like to turn on my heat. LOL!

There is both a matching thong and hipster to go with this chemise, so you can choose either or both. I received the thong in size large, which is made of the same pretty pink material that’s comfortable as hell. In the photos, the stretchy lace sides of the thong look pretty narrow. They’re not exactly thick, but the thinner they are is about an inch, so I don’t think they cut into my hips, about 40 inches, in a terrible way. The lace on the back of the thong is cute, and the way it sits with the lace “pointing” downward is lovely. You can easily, and I have, wear it all day long. The way these pieces go together is perfect for a single night, however.

Madison and Camille Panties

I received a couple of pieces not in a collection. For example, the Madison Bikini in a medium blue. It’s a similar soft material to the Daphne panty. It slides over my hips well, but because it’s a high-cut bikini, it’s cut a little more modestly/long on my frame even though I got the medium, so it’s not good with lower cut bottoms. It’s still hella comfortable and the lace and ribbon detail are great. Again, this one seems to be awesome quality. The blue is no longer available from Designer Intimates, but you can check out the five other colors.

The Camille Cheeky Panty offers a more modern cut; although, it’s not a thong. With shade stripes in front and silky mesh in back, it shows off everything. The size large is actually cut a bit narrower than the medium Madison bikini, so it fits me better. It’s comfortable enough for every day wear, and my black panty goes well with any black bra. There is a vertical seam running down the back, but I love it beside that thanks to it’s durability and comfort.

Daphne Bra and Hipster

Daphne Bra and Hipster

Daphne Bra and Hipster

Felina’s Daphne Collection Contour Bra and hipster was the second set I received. I loved the feel of the stretchy material out of the box, and the black lace laid over the white looks fantastic. There’s a black lace version, but it’s kinda “meh.” I think the hipster would be especially good under form-fitting clothing as it wouldn’t show many lines. There’s the obvious issues of keeping the white pristine, but with some care you could do it.

However, the bra seemed to run a little small to me in a 38C (this was part of the reason I decided to , or perhaps I am gaining more curves. Either way, I didn’t want to add the panties to my collection since they’re so nice together, so I’m passing them online to my bestie.

Both the bra and hipster are a more modest cut. The bra is contoured with underwire but only lightly lined, so it’ll have minimal lift and shaping. There is a layer of fine mesh that sits inside the band, so I bet this would be comfortable for all-day wear. If you’re into full coverage with less padding and you take the snugness into consideration, this would be a real winner.

Jezebel Intrigue Bra

Designer Intimates no longer sells this bra , but you can find it from other retailers if you’re interested. The design reminds me of a VS bra I had some years ago. I liked that it was padded and had lace, and it fit (also 38C)  the best of all the bras I was sent to review. However, I do not love it. The “double pushup” bra has a lot of dense padding that’s more bulky and constricting than supporting and shaping. The type of foam really matters, as I’m sure you know.

The pink lace overlay is nice, as is the connected loops between the cups, which has come back into style with some VS bras. The overall construction seems nice, with thick adjustable straps that are soft on the underside. However, the elastic in the band sits directly against my skin without no lining, and causes discomfort after a while. Man, do I love a satin lining, and any company that’s “designer” should use this!

Adore Bra and Vanessa Thong

Adore Bra and Vanessa Thong

Jezebel Adore Bra

Sadly, this bra has also been discontinued in the black and pink, which I think looks awesome. Designer Intimates still sells the demi bra in the white and blue, but the details don’t stand out as much. The pink cups on mine are overlaid with black mesh that has scalloped vertical seems and heart-shaped flecks. There’s light padding, but the cups are pretty soft. Between the breasts is a larger pink bow and a small keyhole below it.

For a demi bra, the cups seem like they’re cut a little high.  The straps are thick and have that ruched-like ribbon detail on the top, which is amazing. The bands are mesh wit elastic borders, which I suspect wouldn’t be ideal for all day wear and aren’t as supportive as dual-layer bands.

I ordered the Vanessa thong because it’s pink with black lace overlay with flocking. What can I say, I like the look! I thought it would match, and it does well enough. The details on this are fantastic, bit scalloped lace along the legs in front and a center bow. The back is a soft black mesh, which might be more comfortable if you’re not a fan of lace. I also think it’s ideal for smoothing over curves. I opted for the large with is pretty much a perfect fit but you might want to opt down a size if you don’t like your thongs rising too high in back.

Overall, I had better experience with sleepwear and panties from Designer Intimates. The bras seemed a little cheap in construction and feel; although, that might be good enough if you’re wearing them with the plan to take them off soon. There is quite a variation between sizes of panties. I tend to opt for smaller cut if I’m going for a bikini or hipster and a larger cut for a thong, which worked out for me pretty well here.

Because this post has gotten so long, expect the giveaway in its own post!


Lovehoney Open Back Sheer Lace Panties with Straps

December 11th, 2014

I purchased my first pair of “strap” or cage panties this summer. I discovered that I quite like them; although, the design isn’t exactly the same as Lovehoney’s take on the design with their new addition to the lingerie line. Lovehoney’s design is cut further down your ass in a deep “U” shape.  There’s also a rather large pink bow, which makes this a fun thing to wear if you want to be your lover’s gift.

Alas, I will not get that experience. As it happens, these panties seem to run a little large. There’s quite a lot of fabric, and the large just swamped my hips and ass. In the front, they almost reached my belly button. There’s a rise of 8.5 inches in front, and the design of the straps in back means they technically reach 9.5 or 10 inches high because they arch upward. You can see this in the product photo but.. TEN inches. That’s.. just huge.

I sometimes wear a large in panties when they’re cut smaller, and most panties created as lingerie — as opposed to everyday wear — run smaller. This is not the case with these panties from Lovehoney. I have 41-inch hips and I’m not lacking in the derriere. Perhaps the lace stretches out more than typical panties, because a large should even be a little snug on me according to the size chart. In fact, these panties measure at least 2 inches wide than Felina panties in a large.

lovehoney open back lace panties

lovehoney open back lace panties

If they do fit, the front is cut with a single mesh panel in the style of hipsters. This is a more modest cut; although, it’s certainly a revealing fabric choice, as is the cut and fabric in the back of the underwear. The lace in the back continues that cut, covering most if not all of your cheeks. Although, the deep “U” shows plenty of crack and cheek in the center. Ther lace is fringed toward this cutout. It’s a great detail. There is one vertical center strap that connects to three shorter straps on either side. This is where the pink bow is secured.

Construction of these panties does seem pretty secure, without any loose strings or obvious options. Jagged nails and the like might cause snagging.  Obviously, the lace, ribbon and strap design is more delicate than some cotton duds. Hand-washing is a great idea. This will prevent the straps from coming undone or the lace from breaking down, which is a frequent issue that lacy panties have. I’m typically pretty bold with my delicates, so I wash them in a net bag. Actually, it’s the one I got with the Sasha harness. Because of the delicate nature and the lack of crotch liner, I don’t think I would wear these as a regular panty under your clothes. You might dress up in them for a specific event or session. Plus, the bright pink bow is the type that would bother me in, say, regular jeans. The top straps would peek out anyway.

These type of panties might be a little strange feeling to begin with because they leave some skin revealed. I found the center strap to be much more noticeable than on my other, similar pair of panties. I think it’s because it goes up so high. These panties might work better if they didn’t have this strap at all. It’s not really needed to give them shape.

The waistband isn’t as tight or secure as typical panties, so you’ll need hips enough to keep these in place. If you’re carrying extra weight around your stomach, I can imagine them rolling down and not giving the desired effect. However, if these do work with your size and shape, that effect includes plenty of detail and more than a hint of sexiness, which is why I was drawn to them in the first place.

Look at the sizing chart carefully when ordering to ensure you get a pair that fits, however! This is especially important if you’re buying these as a gift, and I do think they would make a nice one — hint hint!

Christmas Lingerie at Lovehoney, 365 Day No Hassle Returns


In Defense of Legalized Sex Work

December 10th, 2014

Amid all the terrible news lately, a slew of articles about several sex workers — and their clients — who were recently arrested popped up. These articles don’t impact me the way they should. Perhaps it’s the way the media portrays sex workers or simply the frustration I feel for a system that works against people who might legitimately want to earn a living in this method. If I’m being honest, I could think of far worse ways to make money than through prostitution, and I think I would prefer it to, say, starring in porn.

It’s not that I don’t sympathize with sex workers. I’ve thought their line of work should be legalized for years. And after reading the piece titled “Lost Boys” in Best Sex Writing 2013, I’ve thought about sex work more often and in a new light than before. That story certainly impacted me, and it’s stayed with me as I’ve read accounts about homeless teens who’ve been rejected by their families for coming out as gay as transgendered. Sex work is often the only logical reaction for these people; although, being forced by their circumstances can lead to some pretty dangerous situations. Still, it’s not always dire.

One thing that this story impressed upon me is how many people see sex work as a way to pay the bills or earn some extra money for the things that they want. It’s something that we all do and something that’s fairly encouraged in a capitalistic society. However, controlling a woman’s sexuality seems to trump capitalism in this case. If a woman’s body is her own, if she is to retain autonomy over it, then laws outright outlawing sex work are at odds with that right. Those laws enable people to literally police a woman’s sexuality. They take away the choice in the name of providing choice to people who may be unable to escape sex work. And while women are certainly not the only sex workers, people who want to make and keep it illegal focus on woman. Laws against sex workers are just another aspect in the war against women.

[In a related note, the UK’s decision to essentially outlaw female orgasms, ejaculation and pleasure in pornography is another unacceptable example of controlling women’s sexuality. It angers me to no end!]

I’m not saying that people who have been forced or coerced into sex work shouldn’t have a way out if they choose it, but I think there is room in society for both legal and safe sex work. If a woman wants to be an escort who provides sex in exchange for a fee, why should we, as a society stop her? Some people might argue that the demand for sex work exists solely because of the objectification of women in a misogynistic society. This may be a contributing factor, but men can also be sex workers. Indeed, there are likely more male escorts than people realize. And a woman can enjoy sex and authority over her own body without succumbing to the patriarchy.

Furthermore, legalization paves the way for both taxation and regulation, which, if done correctly, could both become a source of revenue and offer protection to sex workers. Options such as healthcare and routine testing that may not be available to some sex workers could become available to those people if prostitution and escorting became legal.

Those same protections could extend to sexual and physical abuse, which sex workers experience far too often. Rather than hiding their work for fear of being arrested or even raped by police, these men and women would be able to seek legal and judicial protection from the people, typically men, who pray on sex workers. When a sex worker has no one to turn to, that violence continues because perpetrators know they won’t be caught or have to pay a price. However, legalization would protect those who want to be in this line of work while highlighting those who are victims of sex trafficking, and this is a distinction that must be made.

Legalizing sex work would open a lot of doors, from opening communications and networking between sex workers themselves (trading safety tips, rating clients, et cetera) and their clients via websites like Escorts and Babes (without fear that those websites would be targeted by law enforcement). Aside from safety, sex workers would likely see improvements in health due to a decrease in STIs. Transmission often occurs as a result of violence (rape) without a condom, and editors of one medical journal have explicitly stated that legalization of sex work is the only option to protect sex workers from sexually transmitted diseases such as HIV. And studies show this is truth. Just consider Rhode Island, where prostitution was technically legal for about two decades. During this time, transmission of some STIs and reported rapes both dropped.

If this could happen in the 1990s, then surely sex work could be legalized in 2014 and beyond with consequences that are both sex positive and positive for society.


Tantus Silicone Fantasy Gag

December 7th, 2014

My track record with Tantus toys hasn’t been so great. While others will rave about the dildos, strap-ons, cock rings and anal probes, I’ve felt a lot like Goldilocks. They were too big or too small, too hard or too soft. Whatever it was that I was looking for, I hadn’t found it.

To this date, I have liked — and kept — only a single Tantus dildo. This means I’ve been a sex toy fairy for some friends, but that I don’t recommend the company like others do. You see, the silicone is awesome. Some of the colors? Amazing! But I don’t think the textures and density are much for me. I prefer Vixen by far.

Similarly, I haven’t had much luck with gags. I have a rather small mouth. My dentist will confirm this, so I need a smaller gag. In fact, the actually balls don’t work that well, and neither did the one bar-style gag that I tried. Although, that one was pretty cheap.

For a while, I had my eye on the tiny cock gag. It’s cute, and it’s not perfectly round. Better for my mouth? I thought so. Plus, it’s made of silicone because it’s by Tantus. I’ve seen similar design made from PVC, but even if I didn’t care about cleanliness, who wants that smell/taste in their mouth? Add in leather, and I’m sold.

When I got this gag, I removed it from the package and separated the leather strap to wash just the gag part. Because you can do this, you can boil or spray with bleach to sterilize.

I immediately noticed that the silicone retained the smell of the leather, however. This is from being packaged with the leather in an airtight package. I like leather, but the smell/taste in my mouth was overwhelming, so I would definitely recommend a thorough cleaning and letting this air out before you use it. You’ll want to quickly move this from cleaning to use because the shiny silicone picks up every bit of lint, as you can see from my photo!

You’ll always want to remove the straps for cleaning. They’re not waterproof, but the directions say you can wipe clean with a damp cloth and treat with leather conditioner. I’ll be honest, I’m really bad with my leather goods. Oops!

Once it’s ready to use, it’s easy. The straps slide through holes on either side of the silicone cock and snap shut. The fit is secure, so I had to use two hands to do this. If you want the “pretty” side of the snap to show, make sure it’s facing away from the gag. The Velcro is long enough that you can adjust the size of the gag a bit.  You’re going to get a maximum circumference of about 25 inchs and can shrink that to 20 or 21 inches if you want the Velcro to remain secure.
The gag secures behind your head with velcro. This will keep it in place, but I did struggle finding the perfect position so that the straps wouldn’t slide. When I tried to tighten it or pull it too high on the back of my head, it definitely triggered my gag reflex because it fills more out of your mouth than many styles of gags.

However, unlike those gags, you could comfortable keep just the silicone portion in your mouth without needing to be restrained thanks to the contoured head. I was able to easily and comfortably wrap my teeth around those ridges. You could insert all the way to the base, but my throat will need some stretching before that happens. Like I said, my mouth is pretty small, so the 1.5-inch length feels pretty big to me. I noticed that this was definitely a drool-inducing gag if you’re into that!

In fact, this might not be a good beginner’s gag because of the size and depth. The Fantasy gag itself is about 1.75 inches wide at the largest point, one of the ripples. However, the tapered head is less wide, and the design isn’t perfectly round. The shape is quite like a butt plug, to be honest. You could probably use it for one if you wanted.

This is a solid basic gag that’s different from every other gag on the market. I do think there is room for improvement. For starters, it would simply be cool if the gag attached to the straps via O-ring like a strap on. Secondly, I’m not sure Velcro is the most secure option. The style with D-rings offers more adjustments when it comes to size and might be better at not catching your hair, which I noticed happened  pretty easily.

Small mouths aside, this is probably my favorite gag to date, though!



JO Hair Reduction Serum

December 4th, 2014

Shame and exhaustion are the two things I feel when I think about how much time I must spend removing hair or even just thinking about it. I am not a fortunate person with wispy blonde hairs. I have dark, coarse hair. The older I get, the more I have. I shave practically every part of my body to deal with these hairs, save for my arms. This is the one place on my body where it doesn’t seem like a cardinal sin to have hair.

I settled on shaving because it’s the compromise between expensive salon waxing or even more expensive hair removal and touchable skin. I’ve tried any number of at-home creams and waxes, none to much success. Coarse hair isn’t so easily dealt with when it comes to those chemicals. Tweezing works well, but the only epilator I’ve managed to use wasn’t very good, either. Shaving it is.

And it becomes quite quick once you get a routine. There are places I won’t go without shaving every day. Those are the places where women don’t even talk about having hair. I’m less worried about places where it’s “okay” to shave because we shouldn’t have hair there — legs, underarms, pubic region, thighs. Those areas are truly the least of my worries.

With so much hair to worry about, I’ve thought about ways to complement shaving or even permanently remove hair. Since laser removal is out of the question, I started considering creams that would help with hair. I’ve seen a few reviews about products designed to slow growth, make hair more fine and reduce the necessity to shave. I was hoping that some of those more obvious areas that I hide shaving would react well to System Jo’s Hair Reduction Serum, then.

To put it bluntly: it didn’t. After weeks of daily application — you’re supposed to put on the lotion after you remove hair. It says it works with “all” hair removal types but only listings shaving and waxing. Um, okay, then.

It might have even been over a month, and I’ve noticed nothing. All the places I was shaving on a daily basis still require daily shaving. The hair is no less dark or thick. Stubble feels exactly the same.

I mean, i guess it’s a good thing there are no negative reactions. The thin lotion has a light scent, like just a hint of vanilla, and it causes no ill reactions. It seems to moisturize and doesn’t add to any discomfort of shaving sensitive areas, but it also doesn’t do much of anything, either.

I really wish this product worked better — at all? — than it does because I so enjoy the scent. There’s no reason to continue buying it once I run out, however, because I’ve got plenty of scented lotions, and who needs an extra product? I’m still interested in lotions like this, but System Jo’s option isn’t it.

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