I thought I’d try out a new category here on Of Sex and Love. It may not stick. I often forget about these features that I try to do. I’d like to showcase some of the items that have been newly released or are now able to be purchased and for now, I’ll stick to things that you can buy at my SexToy.com affiliate store.
Sponsors
Lelo Tiani
October 23rd, 2011
By now, you’re probably seen the press releases and more than a handful reviews about Lelo’s new toys, which the company released over a month ago. These additions to the Insignia range are all wireless and use what Lelo is calling SenseMotion technology to operate. Lelo was kind enough to offer me my choice for review so I opted for the Tiani, the toy that I felt would be easier to review without a partner, which is basically a smaller version of the WeVibe in a silky silicone. However, the Lyla, Oden and Tiani are best intended for partner use. So while I want to thank Lelo, I was to be absolutely clear that they missed the mark and this is why.
Tiani is too damned weak and buzzy. Even on its highest setting, it barely registers as more than a tickle. There’s not enough variance between the low and high and the pitch is too high for any sort of pulsation to be stimulating. If you need anything stronger than a watch battery bullet, the Tiani is not for you. This is especially disappointing considering how deep the WeVibe’s vibrations are, even if they aren’t that strong.
Tiani is confusing. I don’t like having to read directions. There, I said it and, you know what, who wants to have to sit down and read a book to figure out how to operate their sex toy? But I had to, from beginning to end. First, I had to figure out how to charge it. Here’s a tip, the plastic band in the middle of the toy is actually where the toy parts twist together. The adapter plugs into one end once you take it apart. The plastic band around the toy itself isn’t seamless and the way the pieces screw together seems very cheap. The Insignia line is supposed to be waterproof but this design doesn’t even include a removable O-ring. My Alia seemed a little safer. However, I doubt the shower or pool would be an ideal place to use it anyway, considering the weak vibes and remote problems.
Then I had to figure out how to use it. You have to press a button on the remove and then a button on the controller, then another button on the toy itself to activate it. Then you have to figure out how SenseMotion works, which leads me to my next point.
SenseMotion is novel but not practical in the least. Thank god Lelo still allows you to use the remote normally but there’s two super weird settings you have to pass first. For starters, the first mode relies on the position of the remote. Flip it vertically to raise vibrations, back down to lower them. The controller itself vibrates to offer feedback to the user. That’s kind of a neat idea but also means the controller makes noise so that limits where and when you might be able to use the SenseMotion toys, in my opinion. In the first mode, a back and forth movement simulates pulsation. Well, sort of. There’s this bit delay of between movement and the vibration in the Tiani and it’s hard to get a good rhythm going.
The second mode, which you can activate by pressing the middle of three buttons, simply requires you to move the controller faster to increase the intensity of the vibrations. This means, that if you want to use the vibrations at the highest setting, you need to shake it pretty good.. which also works against it being inconspicuous as so many wireless vibrators aim to be. It’s also tiring and annoying.
The third mode is one where you simply press the + arrow to increase vibrations and the – arrow to decrease. It’s the one I like the most because it makes sense and doesn’t require too much concentration. I wish the controller turned onto this mode instead. There are eight settings, including pulsation and escalation and I swear the controller is more powerful than the Tiani itself.
Aside from awkwardness and confusion, the Tiani is rechargeable but still requires batteries. Man, I hate that about wireless toys. It’s the controller that requires batteries, 2 AAAs to be exact. Insertion is kind of a bitch. The battery cover is designed so that you have to use a little key to open it, or potentially a fingernail. I don’t know. I was so excited to try it out that I somehow use my fingers and force to just press it open but it sucked. Then you insert the batteries and closing the case is much more difficult without the key that I didn’t even realized existed because..
Tiani comes with too much damned stuff. Seriously. Manual, batteries, key, brooch, packet of lube, controller, vibrator, storage pouch. The controller, brooch and vibe sit on top of foam inserts and everything else sits under, in the hollow of the box. My batteries and key actually got wedged in there so I didn’t realize there was a key to open it until I read another review. Opening the battery compartment then became so much easier but why does Lelo think the consumer needs all this crap? I can almost guarantee I’m going to lose the key and the only reason I won’t lose the brooch is because I’ll never take it out of the box. It’s all a lot to keep an eye on.
At the end of the day, I wouldn’t mind but the Tiani just doesn’t work very well. The remote starts to fail as soon as any objects come between it and the vibrator. In mode three, the remote can’t even transmit through a thin layer of fabric, let alone walls. I’m not a fan of the shape either. The insertable part is smaller than that of the WeVibe, which may be better for using during intercourse, but also makes it more difficult to adequately stimulated my G-spot. The arm is also extremely flexible so it’s difficult to get a lot of pressure. Paired with the weak vibrations, the Tiani didn’t do much for me. Plus, the silky silicone is so slippery. There’s no good place to hold for insertion or to get just the right angle. My fingers kept slipping off.
The Tiani also has a ridiculously short battery life. After charging completely, I was able to use it once and play with it, for testing purposes, twice. We’re talking far less than an hour here. The Tiani’s meager vibrations are a freaking battery hog.
So we have a vibrator that isn’t very good, a wireless control that doesn’t work very well, a rechargeable toy that also needs batteries. The Lelo Tiani just doesn’t do much right besides looking pretty and even that’s a stretch.
2 Comments
Where Has All the Plan B Gone?
October 20th, 2011
I’d never heard of Jane Pratt or any of her work before the recent uprising over the article GET IT TOGETHER, GIRLS: Every Goddamn Pharmacy in New York is Out of Plan B! Every ONE!. I’m just young enough and located in an isolated enough location that (maga)zine culture never really flourished in my life. Sassy? Too alternative to be sold in my hometown and if it wasn’t Gothic Beauty or Revolver, I probably didn’t care.
So this article started popping in on my radar a few days ago and I was like “What is this website?” and furthermore “What are they talking about?” You see, the article itself is written so poorly that it’s really difficult to copy and paste it into your own post — to add commentary — in a way that makes sense. I didn’t actually read the article until avflox’s analysis on BlogHer appeared on my radar.
And all I can say now is “What the fuck?!”
Some people have posited that this article, which praises the virtues of Plan B over other birth control while admonishing women for buying so much Plan B that the entire city of New York has run out, is perhaps performance art. How can a young woman be so ignore, sheltered or naive? I guess they never read Overheard in New York which proves that the entire city is pretty much one french fry short of a happy meal. Not to worry rest of the world, ’cause the entire Internet proves you’re a bunch of morons.
But, really, even this is going too far. The writer in me is offended by the overuse of capitalization and the under-use of any sort of grammar but my humanity is offended at every other fucking part of this post. Who needs a God damned list of why birth control is too inconvenient to use? Who needs this convoluted B.S. that is full is misunderstanding — and shaming! — about our bodies! Cat literally describes the way that Plan B works as “THIS IS TOO, TOO TERRIFYING AND I REFUSE TO UNDERSTAND IT.” And how more classist can you get than by insisting that $50 is something every woman should be able to shell out multiple times per month for a non-prescription form of birth control? And, hey, if you are that woman who is shelling out all that money — it’s practically a new fall fragrance, you guys!!!!! — how’s your body doing with the super-dosage of hormones? I can’t imagine that feels good.
Perhaps the only thing worth reading in this article is Cat’s admission that there is clearly abuse of Plan B and if other women aren’t abusing it, then at least she is. Yes, Cat, maybe you are abusing Plan B because or poor planning skills or because, apparently, you’re a fucking moron. Darwin and I would both agree that you should keep using Plan B so that your genetic line ends with you.
Flaming aside, I cannot help but wonder what other factors are at work. Are pharmacies not providing (much) Plan B because of their “moral” compasses? Was there a bad bad or something else that temporarily slowed or halted production? Is October just a really busy fucking month? See what I did there?
We all saw what Cat did there. She made a fool of herself. She shared some seriously incorrect information to impressionable minds on the Internet and the folks over at xoJane? Didn’t do a God damned thing about it. If any of them have a Plan B for saving their reputation, now’s the time to enact it.
2 Comments
Tantus VIP Super Soft
October 17th, 2011
Tantus VIP Super Soft
$69.99
from SheVibe
Even though PinkCherry no longer seems to be carrying the vanilla version of the VIP Super Soft, the mocha version. The VIP is the first of the Super Soft dildos I’ve seen available on any third-party retailers. Tantus actually makes several of their pieces with this formula, including Mark, Adam and Mikey. If you’ve been around a while, you’ll notice that I didn’t enjoy the Adam O2 very much. I was hoping for something more VixSkin-like but the dual-density formula was firmer than I was looking for, which meant that the already hefty Adam was too big for my tastes.
I should have paid attention because I had a similar issue with the VIP. This is a big one, baby. But, I do find the super soft texture to be quite interesting so even though it’s not my cup of tea, it could be yours.
The name “super soft” is dead on. This stuff is crazy soft and squishy. You can grab it and it’ll bulge out in other areas. Super soft may be ideal for the sex toy lover who wants something more hygienic than cyberskin and something that will last pretty much forever. On the downside, the soft formula does seem to dent a little easier and, as always, silicone does like to pick up lint.
The VIP is super soft all the way through. There’s no solid inner core. Thus, you can bend it and squish it any way you want. Because the VIP is so long, it does flop over but it’s thick enough that it wouldn’t be completely reasonable as a packing cock.. unless your pants had a lot of room. The heavy silicone only measures 7″ from end to end but it’s got a 5″ (1.59″ diameter) that is pretty consistent throughout the length of the toy. The head is slightly contoured to be round, and has a slight ridge, but isn’t realistic. Besides being straight, the shaft is really quite smooth.
The biggest feature, design-wise, is the balls.. but I’m not a big fan. This is already a heavy toy — it seems like the silicone may be denser than most — the balls just make it unwieldy without adding much stimulation, in my opinion. I’d also just prefer to grasp a rounded/flared base. My hands are small so the balls get in the way. Some might like the visual aspect or think it adds realism.
The super soft silicone isn’t very realistic feeling even though it’s fun. I find it a little unwieldy because the silicone is so squishy, it doesn’t thrust super well, even with a lot of (water-based) lube. The shaft does have a G-spot curve if the sheer mass doesn’t hit your spot. It did hit mine but in a general way that wasn’t as focused as I tend to like.
I think that Tantus’s super soft silicone is a great idea but the VIP isn’t the size for me. I’d be interested in trying other pieces made out of this material in the future, though — preferably without any attached balls.
6 Comments
My Mini-Miracle Massager Pleasure Kit
October 12th, 2011
Sometimes toys make it to the shelf with such a design flaw that I really have to wonder “What were they thinking?” Such is the case with the My Mini-Miracle Massager Pleasure Kit. I was perplexed as soon as I opened the box but, you see, the description is kind of misleading. According to the website, “This complete kit contains 2 soft pliable attachments with the world famous Mini Miracle Massager.” So you would expect to receive a Mini Miracle Massager with some attachments and that, that I can live with. I would expect not to love every attachment but have a functional massager nevertheless.
Wrong.
The problem is that it’s not a Mini Miracle Massager with some attachments (although, that already exists). It’s a model based off the Mini Miracle Massager but there’s a permanent fixture on the head onto which you place attachments. The attachments are not part of a cup that goes over the head; rather, they both have a little hole that slides onto an awkwardly placed knob on the side of the wand. Perhaps it wouldn’t seem so awkward if you only used the pleasure kit for vaginal/internal stimulation because then you can aim the extension up and hold the handle perpendicular to your body. Unfortunately, I think of this type of toy as clitoral by default –and the tongue-shaped attachment certainly supports my conclusion — so I don’t want to do that.
I tried anyway. I put the little nubby attachment on first after giving it a good scrubbing. From the side, it looks like a guy with a giant nose (a lot like this guy, actually). While the TPE attachments may be Phthalate-free, they freaking stink. I mean, pew! As suspected, the placement was awkwrd and the shape less than ideal for clitoral stimulation. I didn’t get off.
I had even less success with the tongue shape. I couldn’t figure out what I was supposed to do with it. The most comfortable way to hold it implies internal stimulation but I don’t like tongue-shapes inside of me. In order to align the tongue with my clit, I’d either have to point the end of the handle between my knees or down toward my abdomen so that was a no-go either.
I’d like to say the massager itself was redeemed but it’s not because you can’t use it by itself. There’s a sticky-offy knobby thing that not only gets in the way but feels pretty unhygienic, too.The knob itself it unfinished so water can get into it. The same is true for the extensions. You have a little less room to get in there and dry things off when you clean it, which I don’t like.
California Exotics has kept the same springy head and easy to use controls as the regular Miracle Massager, which I still love. There’s two speeds and an off. Unfortunately, this toy is pretty loud and not discreet at all. The vibrations are quite strong but not as deep as the Miracle Massager. I would definitely use it alone, if not for the head.
I’m not a fan of the power cord that detaches, either. I get them confused and it makes me thinks toys are rechargeable, when they’re not. I don’t understand the point. This one is pretty long — upwards of three feet — but the adapter itself is really large and clunky and annoying.
Annoying just about sums up the My Mini-Miracle Massager Pleasure Kit. Just buy your Mini Miracle Massager and attachments separately.
2 Comments
Simply Blown G-Glass Dildo
October 10th, 2011
G-Glass Dildo
$180.00
from Simply Blown
I drooled over Simply Blown’s products when I first saw them. I delighted whenBabeland started carrying them and pretty much squeeled when they sent me one for review. I could have cried when I saw they were no longer carrying them and while Babeland didn’t require me to write a review, I wanted to because these are awesome products.
The thing that draws the eye is that Simply Blown somehow fills their glass pieces with a bright color, like red or blue, and there’s a layer of clear glass around this. It’s breath-taking and, let me tell you, even more amazing in person.
I received a red G-Glass dildo and if the piece itself is a work of art, the box is understated. It’s a simply grey box with a formed foam insert that highlights the sex toy inside and nothing else. Not surprisingly, my piece was heavy. Heavier than any rabbit or the Pure Wand. Heavy enough that I will never use it for extended periods of time lest my arms fall off.
But I won’t have to because the weight and the gentle curve of a Simply Blown glass dildo are perfect for hitting the G-spot, for applying pressure in just the right way and getting the job done in no time. In fact, I was squirting before I even had time to try both sides. I’m pretty sure the wider end is intended more for insertion but the smaller end is usable, too, especially if you’re not quite ready for the 1.59” diameter. This toy is already heading toward larger status but the rigid glass definitely makes it feel huge. The girth stays about the same for most of the length. The smaller end is actually just about as wide, with no tapering, but it does slim down to about 1.27” about 1” into the toy.
The dildo I have measures around 7.5” from tip to tip. Unfortunately, Simply Blown doesn’t provide any storage options and I find boxes to be bulky so I’ll probably adjust my toys so I can steal a padded bag from something else.
Like all things glass, take care when washing and storing. Dropping could break the toy, your floor or a toe. Ouch! Go easy with lube because it’s already so slick and, if you’d like, apply warm or cool water for temperature play but go slowly so avoid burning yourself or stressing the glass.
I can’t find the G-glass dildo for sale anywhere but the Simply Blown website but you can purchase the similar and adorable Lover Dildo and the sleek Siamese dildo on SexToy.com
2 Comments
Zebra Print Satin Babydoll
October 7th, 2011
Zebra Print Satin Babydoll
The Zebra Print Satin Babydoll is super pretty and I really wished it worked for me but this is a case of both-sizes-probably-only-fit-if-your-breasts-have-been-surgically-enhanced.
This is sad because the piece of really cute. The mesh is fine and soft if not quite as silky as some other mesh I’ve owned. It’s stretchy and seems pretty strong. The zebra striped satin accents are bold and cute. The bottom hem features a straight 1″ or so border of this satin and will all toward the upper part of your thigh. In the model’s images, it’s significantly wider so that may be a difference between the sizes. The cups are also cute and there’s an unobtrusive black satin bow between them. It’s a simple design that will
But when you take a closer look at the publicity images, you can see that the cups are just designed hugely and, because they’re a non-stretchy material, it’s hard to arrange them artfully. There is actually elastic on the sides of the triangle material which means, if you happen to have midgets taped to your chest, they’ll fit. But I’d gander that, with the queen size, anyone smaller than a D is going to feel pretty overwhelmed with the amount of material. I mean, if I just compared my bra (C-cup), the babydoll has twice as much material per cup.
Even if you are larger in the chest and thinner at the waist, the cups don’t offer any support really. The empire waist isn’t reinforced so if you don’t love the natural shape or sag of your breasts, you might be disappointed, too.
So that made me sad but also confused because it’s obvious that the model has huge fucking boobs and that the cups are just out of proportion to the rest of the piece because I really don’t see how — even with the stretchy mesh — the queen would fit more than an XL and many women with breasts naturally that large have some extra weight. The standard size isn’t even that loose on the model and she’s pretty thin.
Unfortunately, there’s a couple quality issues with the Zebra Print Satin Babydoll, too. First, the strap adjusters are really super hard to move. I feel like I need to chew on them or that my nails are going to break. It’s a total pain. Secondly, the stitching is coming out of the bow after one wash. So the bow has lost it shapes and, because it must have been slightly attached to the bottom of one cup, the satin has started fraying. There’s also some fuzzies coming off of the satin trim at the bottom. Overall, the satin seems kind of cheap.
The queen size comes with a giant thong. Again with the enlarged proportions? It’s elastic and mesh and your typical thong-included thong. Replace it with a comfortable, fitting black or white panty and you’re good to go.
So while this isn’t my favorite piece, it’s not that expensive either. If you’re blessed with the breasts and like the design, you might give it a try. If you’re not so well endowed, look for something a little more forgiving.
