GUSH: The Official Guide to the G-Spot & Female Ejaculation

May 17th, 2011

GUSH

GUSH
$29.95 from Good Vibes

My first experience with an instructional DVD was interesting–well, sort of. I didn’t really know what to expect with Gush: The Official Guide to the G-spot and Female Ejaculation. I guess I expected some video with someone narrating it. It’s not that.

What Gush is, is look into a radio show Interview with Dr Carol queen, whom you may have heard of (I’ve read some erotica by her, I do believe). The good doctor answers a question or two from callers, about G-spot techniques and toys and ejaculating and other related issues, live on Swirl Radio with Michelle Meow. The calls are broken up by scenes between one or two performers each. The women and/or their partners (both male and female) are providing stimulation to the G-spot to work toward orgasm and ejaculation. After this goal is achieved, the scene tends to end; however, a few of them go for multiple orgasms/ejaculations.

The calls were helpful and I liked the way Carol Queen answered questions informatively while remaining friendly. Her answers gave helpful suggestions but she steered clear from saying that any technique or toy worked for all women–which I like. A lot of G-spot advice has a tendency to come off as one-size-fits all in a way that can make you feel failure-iffic if you’re a little different from the norm. I know this because I fall into that category so Ms Queen’s suggestions were quite helpful, especially if you’re new to G-spot exploration.

I can’t really say the same about the scenes in between. They would probably be more helpful to someone with less G-spot experience but there wasn’t anything new to me. Nor did I necessarily find them to be useful as masturbation fodder. All of the actors–save one–were incredibly unattractive to me and that really distracted from the experience. I found myself waiting for the scenes to pass, in the beginning, and simply skipping them toward the end. One thing I noticed was that the scenes became really repetitious. Most of them focused one oral sex with manual G-spot stimulation and perhaps this is for a reason. Carol Queen does say that this is one of the easiest ways for a woman to achieve ejaculation. Still, I was done with it before the first scene ended.

Production-wise, I have to say that the calls seemed much quieter than the instructional scenes. I was constantly reaching for the remote as I watched this film and that’s pretty aggravating. It comes off as a bit.. unprofessional. I get the same feel from the cover. The scheme is pink and black against white and I can dig that–but it’s extremely home grown in feel. Good Vibes should consider spending a bit more time polishing up the look and feel of their productions, I think.

Gush: The Official Guide to the G-spot & Female Ejaculation is probably best geared toward those who are just adventuring into G-spot land. I can’t say that any of the answers necessarily taught me anything that I could put into play. It was all old news to me. It’s all pretty easily summed up in a couple paragraphs on a website or in a pamphlet, too. If you’re not necessarily looking for some sexy G-spot scenes, I’d probably steer you in the direction of a book, like this one or even the Good vibes Guide to the G-spot book, rather than this film.

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Vanity by Jopen #5

May 11th, 2011

Because I’ve already reviewed the Vr 6, I don’t want to rehash all the details. These two vibrators are quite similar and you can read all the details here. The most important difference between the #5 and #6 vibrators in this line is the shape. #5 has a shorter clitoral arm (only .75″) that balloons out slightly and doesn’t angle toward the body like the arm on #6. In addition to this, the shaft bulges slightly, narrows and bulges again. At the narrow point, there is a bit of flexibility so you can angle just the head. The clitoral arm is also much more flexible than the arm on #6. The shaft retains about the same amount of length as #6 (4.25″), although #5 isn’t nearly as wide at any point. The widest point is a circumference of 1.25″ so it falls toward the smaller end of the spectrum. The head is slightly bulbous and more angular, for more precise G-spot stimulation instead of the broad pressure that #6 provides.

However, Vr5 is also a rechargeable rabbit vibrator, made of velvety fuchsia silicone. There’s two motors that are controlled by separate buttons. California Exotics has used this button style before and I’ll remind you what I think about the way they function:

One push turns them on. Push and hold to increase intensity and push and release to turn it off. It’s similar to the Couture Collection wand I have. I can’t fault them because it works but I can say it kind of feels like they’re reinventing the wheel and that if you frequently use other toys that require you to push to get to the next setting, you may find yourself turning off the Jopen vibrators and this can be frustrating. Really, I like the style of the controls but I probably won’t be able to get used to them unless the entire sex toy industry adopts them.

Another difference is the location of the motors. In the Vr5, these vibrations are centered in the tip and mid-body, instead of directly in the clitoral stimulator. Thus, you get more internal stimulation with residual vibrations against the clitoris–if the clitoral arm even reaches yours. Unfortunately for me, that’s not really an option with the Vr5. Nevertheless, both vibrators I’ve had a chance to try have impressively strong and deep vibrations.

The claim is these this entire line is waterproof even though there’s no cover over the charging port and it seems to remain open all the time. However, I’ve not had any issues with this and other reviewers have even submerged their Vanity by Jopen vibrators while turned on with no ill effects. Cleaning is a breeze, with soap and water; although the material does collect lint. You can minimize it by storing this in the Jopen pouch that comes with every toy in the line. It’s large enough for the charging adapter as well but I found the bag to so big it’s unwieldy. I wouldn’t mind something a wee bit smaller.

Sadly, I prefer the shaft design of the Vr5, even though I probably would have been more apt to pick the Vr6 as a customer. Unfortunately, the short clitoral arm would just never work for me.

CEN Sexpert

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Love Bunnies

May 10th, 2011

Some bunny loves me.. but it’s not one of the Love Bunnies. I requested to review these tiny vibrators from Babeland because they’re absolutely adorable. I didn’t know if they’d get me off but tis the season for bunnies and bright colors and all that bollocks.

So the Love Bunnies come in a super colorful box. It’s definitely reminiscent of a child’s toy and you may even want to keep it out of your kid’s line of sight because of the design. While fun, it’s sort orf confusing. To add to the fun, the package comes complete with an “Official Adoption Certificate.” Lovehoney’s packaging is amazingly detailed with this product and I almost want them to come out with actual children’s toys.

The colorful Love Bunnies vibrator sits in a plastic holder inside the box, against a brightly colored backdrop. The bunnies themselves are pretty straight forward. A tiny bullet vibrator sits inside a bunny shape–complete with ears and tail. You have to uncap and remove a paper tab before you can use the Love Bunnies. There’s a single push button for the single speed. I found that it likes to stick so sometimes I have to press it twice or more to actually get it to work.

Of course, as any watch battery-powered toy, the vibrations a both weak and buzzy. They’re the type that I quickly become “numb” to after a short period. That is to say, I literally cannot feel them after a few minutes. This is a shame because the roundness of the Love Bunnies actually stimulates me in a way that I find quite enjoyable. You may prefer to surround your clit, nipples or other sensitive parts with the ears but I like round shapes and pressure rather than pinpoint stimulation. The Love Bunnies actually provide both, unlike some other novelty vibrators (coughIRubMyduckiecough).

What disappointed me even more was that, as I used the Love Bunnies vibe for the very first time, the batteries died–maybe 20 minutes in. As these type of batteries can be difficult and pricey to obtain, that’s definitely a major drawback. I toss toys that require speciality batteries or suck them dry into a drawer, rarely to be touched again.

Washing up was easy enough; although, I don’t know if these vibrators are supposed to be water or splash proof. There’s very little information in the packaging. As I began to type this, I didn’t even know what the Love Bunnies were made of. Silicone, as it turns out, but this information is sneakily printed on the bottom of the box.

So while cute and silicone, easy to use and packaged quite nicely, the Love Bunnies best get to hoppin’. They just don’t cut it.

Love Bunnies at Babeland Sex Toys

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Cake Lip Plumper

May 9th, 2011

Cake Lip Plumper Angel Food

Cake Lip Plumper Angel Food

This product has been discontinued since I originally reviewed it.

I don’t know about you but I own a lot of lip glosses. I don’t know why exactly. I just love when my lips are shiny and shimmery and smell good, even if I’m not being kissed. I expected that I’d love the Cake lip plumper because I also love sweets.

This plumper comes in a .20 fl ounce tube with the typical lip gloss applicator. The tube is a little smaller than most of them I own but that’s not a bad thing necessarily. The design is super cute: black and liht teal with red accents. The tube and box feature a pin-up style woman and even the font alludes to a previous time.

The product makes a couple claims. 1) It tingles. This is pretty accurate. You can definitely feel the plumper at work after you apply it. If you’ve used other lip plumping products, then you’ll be familiar with the feeling. It can get a little uncomfortable so you may want to be pretty sparse with our applications at first.

Secondly, the product is scented. I received the Angel Food Cake scent; however, there are other cake scents available. My biggest complaint with the product is that it does not smell like angel food cake. There’s a distinct mocha sort of scent and, as I’m not a fan of coffee, this is both confusing and a turn-off.

At least it’s not as terrible as the rancid-smelling body butters in this line.

Lastly, the Cake Lip Plumper is supposed to taste like cake. Let me tell you this: the cake is a lie. It is not flavoured. It tastes like wax, which is typical of many lip products. Thus, you won’t want to run around licking your lips the way you would when wearing VS lip gloss. Just sayin’. Nevertheless, this lip gloss is far less sticky than any I’ve tried by VS, which I do like.

Appearance wise, the Cake gloss adds shine but no color. As for the plumping abilities, I can’t say that I noticed much of a difference and this obviously isn’t intended to have permanent effects.

I’d still be satisfied with this product if I enjoyed the scent and I suspect that I probably would enjoy some of the other scents (cookie dough, devils food), if they’re actually what you would expect. The Lip Plumper is decent as a lip product, with vitamins E and C. I just wish the angel food scent was accurate.

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Bondage I Rub My Duckie Travel Vibe in Black & Red

May 5th, 2011

I think we’re all glad that this is my last review for any item in the I Rub My Duckie line. I’m kind of sick of repeating myself and I have officially drawn the line. No matter how cute these damned things are, I don’t need another one especially when they just don’t cut it.

The Black and Red Mini Bondage duckie is probably one of the best designs, in my not so humble opinion. The original bondage duckie is awesome but this color scheme is just spectacular. The details, from the spiked color to the corset lacing in front, are immaculate. The ball gag is adorable and, once again, the painted eyelashes indicates this duckie is female. As you can guess, this duckie is much less inconspicuous than its brothers and sisters so you’ll want to tuck it away when Mom and Dad visit (unless you’re parents are into BDSM!).

But aside from that, this duckie just doesn’t cut it. The shape doesn’t work well to stimulated any area or to hold while you struggle to get off. The spikes on this one can actually be a little uncomfortable or painful, too. It doesn’t float. The molding is sloppy and water gets into the battery area. The duckie flops on its side when in water (boo!). There’s only a single speed of vibration and the knob requires a bit more effort than a button. The vibrations are buzzy and ridiculously weak, as you would expect from a vibrator powered by a single AAA battery. You need a fingernail or steel, a coin or some other flat device to open the battery compartment in the first place. For its size and strength, the duckie is just far too loud. All the ridges and text and other crap on the bottom of the Bondage I Rub My Duckie Travel Vibe just create a ton of space for lubes and liquids to make themselves at home. I will never feel like any of the duckies are truly clean.

For $20, you can get a decent bullet and actually get off. Consider the duckie vibrators as novelty only.

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Faceless Voice

May 4th, 2011

Faceless Voice
Usually I review toys but sometimes I receive some information about other things that sort of strike me fancy and I agree to review them. Such is the case with Faceless Voice, a website that supplies erotica audio as opposed to porn. It seemed an interesting concept and we all know that pornographers are always ahead of the tech curve. The developers gave me a sample of the goods so I can provide you with a review.

Let me start by saying a bit about the design. Faceless Voice is easy enough to navigate but it feels a little web 1.0, that it to say, outdated. It lacks the touch of a professional design and, as such, some folks might not feel comfortable spending money there. I’m also a little confused by the distinction between males and females. When you click these links on the splash page, it simply changes the template from light, white and pink (for females) to black and red (for males). I don’t think this really adds anything to the visual appeal of the website.

The main page includes featured bog posts and stories. The featured stories seem to include a free download teaser and new releases. The site is arranged so that each story gets a “cover” image, much like if you were browsing actual porn. Like the website, the design on the covers could use a bit of finessing but this doesn’t detract from usage. As you click around on the covers, you will get a brief description of the stories. To me, this is pretty imperative to aid in your finding the right story. You can also sample each story with an on-screen audio button, another plus.

The developers have provided each story as told by a man–Duane Dale–and a woman–Lucy Blue. I do like this because some people may prefer a different narrator and it helps to mix things up if you frequently listen to the stories. One thing I noticed lacking on the individual story pages was a price listing. This shows on the bottom of every page and there’s an interesting scheme. Individual stories cost $3.99 but the price per story drops as you add more to your cart. So it’s definitely better to buy in bulk and cheaper than most porn anyway. Considering as you get unlimited use out of the stories, I’d say you could do worse.

Although I was offered a free sample, I took a look at the checkout page. I noticed there’s no sort of backing from Verisign. Again, consumers like to see these things so they know that their money and CC information is in safe hands. Perhaps a PayPal option might make some feel safer.

Once you’ve purchased your audiobooks, you will be able to download them as MP3 format. This enables you to listen to them on your computer, MP3 player or phone. Most everyone knows how to deal with a straight up MP3 file so this is a point in their favor. Most of the files are between 10 and 15 minutes long so download time takes only a little longer than if you were downloading a song.

Faceless Voice doesn’t have the largest selection but it has a few dozen titles right now. The biggest concern you may have is whether or not you will like the stories. Unfortunately, there’s always going to be a percentage of luck when looking for porn or erotic stories or audio books that meet your fancy. I listened to a few and none of them really got the juices flowing. I’m not patient enough to listen to every sample but the biggest issue I noticed was that I simply didn’t think the writing was all the interesting or erotic. Lucy especially has a great storytelling voice that is quite sultry but even that can’t save a poor story. Although there is a list of authors, there’s no extra information so I don’t know if these guys are amateurs or professionals or a mix of both. Authors can submit their work for a 20% royalty so I suspect some of the authors are just getting started. It’s pretty cool that you can submit that way, however.

One interesting aspect of the website is your ability to select how hardcore you want your audiobooks to be with the “good” “bad” and “naughty” girl links beneath the header. I like the idea but I’m not sure it’s done very well. The site’s theme changes depending on which level you’re on but I didn’t notice this at first. I was simply confused by the changes. In addition to this, the “bad” girl setting is kind of an odd olive yellow/green that’s pretty unattractive. Rather than a theme setting, I’d simply like to see some text on the audiobook page with a hardcoreness rating. I do like the option, however. It helps steer you toward the ideal story. Some tags or categories based on sexual activities, settings, characters and story elements would also be nice.

Faceless Voice is definitely a unique concept and I think it has a lot of potential. A more commercial layout would probably help with branding and probably attract advertisers, too. It just feels a little “home grown” right now. The content and organization works fairly well as is. Perhaps the company should work on contacting new authors to spread the buzz. It seems like Faceless Voice is pretty new so it will be interesting to see how it develops.

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So much for that.

May 1st, 2011

Unfortunately, the hot nerd isn’t into me. Fortunately, life goes on. I am sad but not heart broken. Frustrated and contemplative but not shattered. Ask me more, if you want.

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