Platinum Edition G-Bliss

October 12th, 2013

This is a weird vibe, and not for any reasons that you’d notice on the outside. It looks like a slew of other vibes that CEN has released before. But the features — of lack there of — are kinda weird. You see, there’s no steady vibration, and while my G-spot certainly responds to pulsation, I generally prefer the sensation of steady vibrations.

What you have instead are escalation like an airplane, escalation like a race car, escalation like a car that’s about to break down, pulsation like a bumblebee, fast pulsation, longer pulsations, fast-fast-slow pulsation and something that I’m pretty sure is Morse code.

Some of them just seem too similar for me, and while the pulsation is decent due to the power source — 2 AAs — I don’t want fancy. I can’t bring myself to care that this is waterproof when it doesn’t do what I want outside of the water. I just want what works. This is all controlled by heart-shape buttons. Gag me, and not in the erotic way.

I also found that the shaft doesn’t work for me. It’s just under 1 1/4 inches wide, and I feel like I want something bigger these days. The little wave on the shaft doesn’t extend enough to reach the clit, so it’s just for looks, but I’m not sold on the look of this vibe.

The target demographic is just not me. It also seems like this toy is geared toward beginners with its price tag of less than $25. In fact, it really seems like a step down from some of the company’s recent efforts, which use silicone and rechargeable vibrators. There are words embossed on the base about recycling and such, information that’s on the box and certainly doesn’t need to be on the toy itself. The use of this translucent TPR seems like a way to produce a cheap toy, especially after this recent discussion about TPR on Twitter, but this is ultimately one of those toys that I would advise shoppers to get only if they’re not absolutely sure that they like toys.


CEN Sexpert


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