Split Peaches Unicorn Horn Dildo (Pastel Pleasures – Medium)

March 31st, 2017

Have you ever used a toy that’s just too good? Yea. It’s a thing. I didn’t know either.

Sure, I’ve have toys that were very good. Some were, eh, good enough. Some were, wow, not good at all. This dildo might be the first that’s too good. It’s almost unbelievable like a unicorn, you might say.

So let’s talk about that first. This is a dildo like a unicorn horn. I got one swathed in pastels with silicone wrapping its way down the shaft. To be honest, it looks a bit more like ice cream than a unicorn horn, but you can also get it in pearlescent white, which might be more traditional for unicorns, along with a bold, rainbow-colored one. There’s even a gorgeous blue-purple one on the manufacturer’s site that SheVibe doesn’t carry (yet…?).

There’s a flat base that could be compatible with your harness if you want the power of the unicorn; though, I’ve only used this solo.

The dildo is surprisingly flexible. You can bend it backward to touch itself. The outer layer has a fair amount of give. It’s not squishy like VixSkin, more like a softer version of Tantus’ shiny silicone. The core is firm enough to remain upright. And it’s not so soft that you can’t control it from the base when it’s inserted. I really enjoy the formula of this silicone, and much silicone has fallen into the “meh” camp for me previously.

The one thing that’s not good about the silicone? It’s the lintiest lint-magnet ever. Like wash-it-and-wash-it-again. I’ve never had to spend so much time washing a toy as I have the unicorn dildo. And there is no way possible to photograph it without picking up more lint and hair. Sorry.

The end of the horn is rounded, so penetration feels easy with a little lube, even if it’s not particularly awesome lube, haha. And the particular increase in circumference is nearly perfect. I don’t need to be warmed up at all, and the narrower tip doesn’t bother my cervix. Again, near perfection.

But I think a custom size would be better up my all. The length — 10 inches — isn’t really necessarily, and I don’t feel especially full when the toy hits my cervix. If this were maybe 3″ shorter, I would absolutely adore it. It would still not be the toy for size queens, but I’d be able to appreciate the 2.75-inch circumference near the base in a way that I just can’t now.

Still, I can use the dildo, get it right where I want it (thanks to the flexibility), press it right against my G-spot (thanks to the firmness) and hold it in place until I squirt. It’s made me squirt nearly immediately. Like 10 seconds or less. It doesn’t take much to make me squirt, but this is still impressive. A second ejaculation following needing less than half that time.

But if it only takes fifteen seconds, what else do I do it with it, you know? Fortunately, I do find the unicorn dildo to be quite enjoyable while stroking. The twisted texture seems too subtle to notice, but I can feel the waves in a way that’s in no way objectionable. Split Peaches makes dildos with much more texture if that’s up your alley, however.

If there were any toy that was going to give me a vaginal orgasm, the unicorn dildo is probably it. We’re not there yet, but, hey, sometimes you’ve got to believe in magic, right?

SheVibe

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Fun Factory Bouncer

July 28th, 2015

An Adriana is a weird thing, what with her ability to squirt but her lesser ability to orgasm from vaginal stimulation. In fact, G-spot stimulation is typically neutral to her and many times uncomfortable, even as it’s making her squirt.

Perhaps it’s more than fitting that I set my eye on the Bouncer, one of the newest Fun Factory toys on the market. This dildo, from the outside, looks like any Fun Factory dildo. It’s got the suction cup base with triple rounded lobes. It has the same velvety texture as other FF toys, including the Boss dildo, which presents the same problems and need for lube.

The smaller size of the Bouncer means this is less of an issue, but that’s not the appeal. The folks at Fun Factory have created a dildo with hollow compartments where inner balls provide a vibration-like movement. It’s a hybrid kegel-ball dildo.

This means there are three noticeable bulges, one for each of the balls. It’s not a design that’s entirely foreign, but it’s different from most of the dildos I’ve tried, many of which tend to be glass with smaller textures, or smooth silicone. The bulges create a slight curve, perfect for stimulating all of your spots.

As a G-spot dildo, this works as well as any of them. It made me squirt — and how! It was evident that the shape and firmness were doing this. The ridges that house the inner balls seem rather firm, much firmer than some FF dildos and more like many of the vibrators that are plastic housed in silicone. It also works well for the long, slow thrusts I use to “milk” my G-spot. Plus, it would hold up to short, shallow thrusts that are quite rapid. However, this isn’t what my vag likes.

To get the full extent of the Bouncer, I experimented with the dildo in a variety of ways. Holding it at the base and shaking provides plenty of vibration to your hand, but you can’t quite translate the movement internally. With only the first ball inserted, most of the “bouncing” can be felt near the entrance of my vagina and vulva in a vibratory way. Long, slow thrusts don’t provide a lot of this sensation at all.

Two methods seemed to do the best job at creating the vibrations with the balls. The first I discovered quite accidentally. With the dildo comfortable inserted about halfway, I was able to hold the base and move it in circular directions or quickly side to side. The quicker you move it, the more vibrations. My G-spot was very receptive to this sensation, which reminded me somewhat of being fingered at just the right angle.

Secondly, I used short, fast “strokes.” By strokes, I mean the movement was less than 2 inches back and forth, but this was also good for making the balls bounce internally and squirting. Through either movement, I couldn’t really “separate” the feeling of bouncing versus thrusting internally, but the addition of the balls made the sensation feel so much bigger, pronounced and and enveloping.

The interesting thing about Bouncer is that the balls continue to bounce around a bit after you halt movement, so you feel the residual “vibrations.’ And while I use this word, the Bouncer isn’t like a vibrator because the balls move in a more erratic and less consistent way. It’s less powerful and fast, and human variation/error comes into play, of course. In fact, it reminds me a bit of the Stronic “vibes,” which have a back-and-forth mechanism to create a sensation similar to but not entirely the same as vibrating.

Bouncer is kinda like that.

So yea, it’s a weird hybrid of kegel ball, dildo, vibrator, whatever. I didn’t get a chance to try it against a wand vibrator, but I bet that will be interesting. I’ve described many toys as “interesting” when I didn’t mean it in a positive way. In the case of the Bouncer, it’s a toy that encourages me to play in new and unique ways.

I can’t promise if you’ll like it, but even if you don’t feel much from the balls, it’s still a good G-spotter in terms of shape and size (over 7″ long and a max diameter of 1.57″). Fun Factory, unlike some companies — I am talking to you Lelo! — seems to be looking for quality over quantity in innovation!

SheVibe

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Ceramix No. 5 & 6

October 9th, 2014

I don’t typically combine reviews, but I’ve already written about a Ceramix dildo. I liked it. I liked it enough to try others in the line, which really isn’t typical for me. However, I didn’t figure that three reviews would be useful, especially when one of those reviews are of two very similar toys.

Ceramix #5 is a purple, white and black toy with ridges and a G-spot curve at the end. The other is a ridged, black-and-white toy with a contoured smooth head. Since I’d already tried a Ceramix piece with warm water, I wanted to experience one with cold water. I set about popping about the stopper at the end.. and broke my nail and a pair of tweezers. Like, my tweezers is now all jacked up because it’s damned near impossible to get the stopper out.

I gave up and only filled one with warm water. I simply ran the other under color water for quite a bit. And the thing is? The way that ceramic holds temperature, this was enough to keep it cold for around fifteen minutes at least. My masturbation sessions wasn’t super long and it stayed cold for the whole time I needed it to, which says to me that the whole water thing isn’t so necessary. Either way, I will refrain from filling and simply use water on the exterior in the future.

In fact, I still have water in one of the dildos because omg-I-have-to-pull-out-that-damn-stopper-again!?

I started with the #6 with its contoured head. I think I like the look of this dildo better. Sure, it’s a little reminiscent of Beetlejuice, but maybe that’s not a bad thing. The contoured head looks a bit like, well, modern art. This thing should be on a mantle somewhere, and I find the strict black and white stripes to be rather appealing, too.

But during use? It was underwhelming. I couldn’t feel the ridges. The overall rigidity felt nice but less effective than I’d like. It felt just okay. I was bummed. The site lists this as 1.75 inches in diameter, but that’s actually the side of the base. The actual diameter is closer to 1.25 inches give or take, and it’s definitely smaller toward the tip, which is part of the reason the ridges were harder to feel, I think.

So you can imagine my surprise when the Ceramix #5 turned out to be much more noticeable. I think the ridges are a little deeper, but the toy is also larger by about 1/4 inch through the length of it. The #5 is less visually appealing to me. It’s less sophisticated, but it feels much better with its lazy “S” shape. Very loose S, but the G-spot curve hugs my pubic bone almost freakin’ perfectly when it’s not fully inserted. It’s like this thing was made for me specifically.

I also preferred the slightly shorter length — Ceramix No. 5 is 7.75″ long and the other is 8.25″ in length. The base takes up about 1/2 inch on both. I think the generally straighter shaft on Ceramix No 6 means I try to insert more, while the curve on the $5 prevents me from “over” insertion ad bruising my cervix.

Perhaps a difference was that the  Ceramix #5 was filled with warm water, which created a gentle but noticeable heated sensation. I had run the other under cool water. It didn’t feel better or worse necessarily, but it may have caused me to be subconsciously more rigid. But while the Ceramix #6 might have been more pleasing to the eye, it was the other dildo that I preferred actually inside of me.

Either piece will be harness compatible thanks to the flat base, which also works quite well a sa handhold. Ceramic is slick like glass, but I used both with lube. Turns out it was a silicone-based lube when I expected it was water (and the session included two silicone toys — oops!). This wasn’t problematic when it came to grasping and controlling the toys.

Unlike glass, Ceramix is much lighter, especially without any water in the hollow.

Both can be easily cleaned with oil and water, but I’m finding the silicone lube is being extra stubborn. You could boil or toss in the dishwasher with your  other dildos.

Neither comes with any storage option, so you might want to invest in a storage pouch or a sock or something to keep these from clinking around noisily in your drawer or toy box. You could store them in the foam insert that comes inside the box, but it’s going to need more space, of course.

I don’t think I’d try another Ceramix toy, but if I got back into anal play, I would probably try one of the plugs.

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So Silicone Dildo by Marc Dorcel

June 29th, 2014

I’ve had my eye on items in this line for a while. I think it’s because the product images are all weirdly Photoshopped, so I could never quite tell everything I wanted to from photos. For example, this dildo looks almost like plastic. It reminds me of some sort of plastic toy that I had a child. I remember it has some sort of “bones” with joints and you could bend it to keep its shape.

So every time I look at this dildo, I imagine that’s what it’s like.

It’s not. But that’s what I imagined.

To be honest, it might have been better to have some sort of bones. Because what the So dildo is.. is just a giant hunk of silicone. Thicker on one end by far, thinner on the other. You could argue that it offers versatility but, wait! Nope. It doesn’t. The silicone is so soft that the thin end is virtually floppy. It makes it harder to use, and means you’re using the floppy end as a handle if you take the larger side. You can see all the sad clown faces. It’s like Dali’s “The Persistence of Memory.”

Hypothetically, if the silicone were more firm/dense in the thinner neck, this would be a functional dildo — and a more affordable alternative to the Njoy Eleven, which is essentially the same design with an extra ridge on the thicker end of the shaft. If the Eleven is too big for you, the softer silicone might be easier handle, but it’s still large.

I’ll be honest, it’s too large for me to comfortable insert without previously having sex. Even working up to it with other toys is a hassle, and the overly-flexible neck (I’m not the only one who’s noticed ) doesn’t help. At its thickest — at the corona —  this dildo is wider than the 1.5 inches stated on SheVibe. A measuring tape comes up with 6 inches exactly around The head isn’t exactly round at the lip that provides G-spot stimulation. So it’s more like 1.75 inches at the widest and a bit more narrow arrow the dildo. The, silicone is firmest here in the toy. This makes it more difficult to take than you might guess.

The matte silicone will likely take a lot of lube, and those poorly ‘shopped photos (I know! I’m using one but I so desperately need a nap. I cannot help it!) make it look smoother. This is not the case. In person, in fact, this reminds me a bit of the Fun Factory Curve. That’s a better dildo, hands down. Legs up (in the air). Whatever.

The rounded head makes way for a smooth shaft that gently bends for a very lazy “S” shape. On the other end is a smaller head with 2 ridges along the shaft. The size allows for a more noticable G-spot “hook.” It’s significantly smaller with a diameter of just. The neck is something more like 1 inch in diameter at the thinnest. And this dildo tops out at 9 inches with a weight that’s no doubt less than the Eleven but more than I want to deal with on a regular basis and especially not for a dildo that wasn’t design with things like, you know, physics in mind.

Marc Dorcel, whoever he made be (okay, Wikipedia says he’s a French dude who makes porn. I hope it’s better than his sex toys), packaged this in a carboard box with plastic tray. No storage or anything memorable. Wash your silicone dildos with soap and water for two minutes while humming “Twinkle Twinkle Little Star” Or is that brushing teeth? Whatever. A run through the dishwasher, bleach wipe or 3-minute boil would get it cleaner.

But I don’t think I recommend actually using this for sex stuff. Just use it to hit your stupid UPS driver or smack the wall when the neighbor in the next apartment over is too loud. Maybe as toy for your dog to play fetch.

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Icicles No. 52

May 20th, 2014

My last experience with an Icicles dildo didn’t turn out so well. In fact, my first was pretty lackluster, and I wound up trading it away so maybe it was a little risky for me to try another one. However, I thought the elongated tentacle design of this dildo would better fit me than any of the Icicles dildos I’ve tried thus far. I was right.

In fact, I would go so far as to say that this dildo is shaping up, literally, to be one of the best G-spot dildos I’ve ever owned. I know that it won’t be fantastic for everyone. If you need that drastic curve, then you might try Fun Factory’s Curve or the Pure Wand, which most people love for its curve. In fact, I found it difficult to find reviews of dildos with intense G-spot curves on Of Sex and Love. I just don’t like them! I’ve tried more G-spot vibrators that hit the spot, that’s for sure.

So this glass dildo head a curve, but it’s less intense. There’s also a bulb. I personally find that the shape perfectly cups my pubic bone and reached my G-spot with ease. It provided perfect stroking and while I don’t have trouble with squirting, it was so easy with Icicles No. 52. The gentle curving really made it easy to use even if it wasn’t necessarily the most filling toy I’ve ever used.

This is a fairly long and narrow  dildo at 7 1/4 inches long. You can technically insert most of it if you’d like. Although, I don’t think you’d want to. Toward the center of the shaft, the diameter is 1 1/4 inches wide. It’s not a very intimidating toy in my opinion, and I use just a dab of lube with it. You may not need any if you’re already warmed up. The bulb on the head is smaller than that, however. You can insert under 1″ thick if you don’t insert the dildo very far, and I found that I didn’t need to.

The glass provides rigid stimulation if you like it that way. The design is lighter than metal of a similar style but heavier than wood. There’s also texture on the shaft that is reminiscent of a tentacle. It’s engraved rather than ridges so you might not notice it as much. The sides of the shaft, which flattens out a bit, are smooth. So is the other end, which is an open loop that servers as a handle. Maneuvering this dildo is easy, even if your hands are full of lube.

Like all glass, it’s nonporous. You can clean it in a million ways. It’ll warm up against your body and in warm water. You can cool it down, too.

Icicles toys come in foam inserts in thin cardboard boxes. There’s no storage bag so you may want to invest in one if you’d like to protect it. I have enough fabric storage in my drawer that I can rest a glass toy in there without worries. A towel will also do the trick.

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Ceramix Pleasure Pottery Dildo No. 4

December 28th, 2013

I have to get this review written tonight because I will soon be writing my annual “Best of” list, and this dildo will absolutely be on it.

So, here’s the thing. I really like the look of the Ceramix line. It’s all bright colors and fun shapes. Kind of Dr. Seuss. A good friend said it reminded her of Wonderland. Either way, it’s got this whimsical air. Love it. Apparently I am not alone. My Pipedream rep said they were having trouble keeping these in stock. Fortunately, the good folk over at PinkCherry were able to send one over.

Now, the only other ceramic toy I’ve used was a vibrator, so it had a bit more wait than this dildo. The dildo is hollow and it just feels so light. It’s like the Krispy Kreme donut of dildos. Almost more air than anything else. Yes, it’s also delicious. I will get there.

There polka dots on the #4 are slightly raised. I can feel them with my hand. I don’t think this adds any vaginal sensation. It’s slick overall and, as you can see from the photos, there are definitely some light bulges.

So this is a hollowed out dildo and there’s a hole at the bottom that’s plugged with stopper. It’s removable so that you can put warm or cold water in it for temperature. At first, I thought this was a gimmick.

I was fucking wrong.

However, it is annoying. It’s in there really well. I couldn’t pry it out with my fingers or nails. I had to grab a pair of tweezers. It needs to be secure so that water doesn’t get all over your bed, but it’s so secure that you definitely need to plan on playtime with this dildo. It’s not a spur-of-the-moment thing.

So once I got it removed, I did will it with warm water. Of course, this adds to the weight a bit, but it’s nothing like metal. In fact, I rather disliked the weight of the Pure Wand. I also disliked how hot it got after usage. I generally prefer the feel of something cool against my labia, that warms up only slightly. I love glass.

But the way that the ceramic warms from the inside out with this method has won me over. The heat reminds me of sex with a real, live cock. Of course. the rigidity is all wrong, but is just feels awesome, not foreign. This alone made me really enjoy the feeling of this dildo. Instead of using it to squirt or thrust, I simply enjoyed the way it felt while inserted and using another vibe on my clit. I don’t think it would have mattered which vibrator I was using externally because cumming around this dildo — three times — felt amazing.

The size didn’t matter but for posterity, it has a slightly curved head and a base that makes it safe for anal. You can insert 6 inches, and this is a medium-size dildo with a maximum diameter of 1.5″.

It’s been a long time since I’ve fallen in love with a sex toy like this. I absolutely recommend that you try something in this line if not the Pleasure Pottery Dildo No. 4. There are vibrators and plugs, each with their own stunning design.

At this very moment, PinkCherry has a 25% off coupon “Boxing.” Use it to get this for less than $34.

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D.1 Larvikite Stone Dildo

November 12th, 2013

You know how it takes you forever to write a post when you feel like a sex toy is just mediocre? Yea, that wasn’t the case with the D1 stone dildo. In fact, it’s the exact opposite. I liked it so much from the very beginning that I knew I wouldn’t be able to express it well enough.

It’s just that good.

It’s just that gorgeous, too. I took a photo almost immediately, which I posted to Twitter. There is this subtle blue texture to the stone that probably makes it the most attractive toy I’ve ever used. Sure, I’ve joked about keeping things on the mantle, but I mean it with this one.

You wanna come over and look at my dildo? Okay, but don’t touch because it’s mine.

The website describes it as “blue pearl,” but it’s almost got this smokey appearance. I’m sure that every dildo looks just a little bit different because of the material. Black Moonstone is something I’m sad not to have known before. The product description reads as follows:

a blue-gray hue with flecks of black and silvery, light-blue reflections that catch the light.

I kind of put off using this dildo for the first time because I was afraid it was going to be all form and no function. Yes, I liked the way it looked in my hands, but what if that’s all it was?

Fortunately, that’s not the case at all! In fact, I loved if. The heft and rigidity are perfect. It’s compact and not unwieldy. There’s a balance that makes it easy to use. G-spot aficionados will appreciate the gentle curve. It took literally zero effort to reach my G-spot. The pressure I was able to achieve made me squirt nearly instantly. I won’t promise thecar same to you but this is one effective dildo for me because I know that my G-spot likes pressure. The D1 didn’t disappoint.

You know another thing that I like? The packaging. Not because it’s all sort of fancy but because it’s a simply cardboard box that you can recycle. The focus is on the luxury toy, and that’s what I like. Seriously. Lelo needs to get on board with this. There’s supposed to be an included storage pouch, but I totally threw it away by accident if there is. Oops. I guess I was too busy eyeing up the stone.

Now, this dildo is also available in a bright pink silicone. However, the stone version costs less than $20 more, and I think that this is probably the better deal. If you don’t think you’ll like the weight, go ahead and opt for silicone, but I absolutely adore the stone dildo. And, let’s be honest, it’s far better looking.

While I haven’t handled the silicone version to compare, I feel at those the “creases” would feel sharper with that material. Stone is ungiving — and porous, yay! — but the ridges seem smoother than they would with silicone. I’ve used silicone with creases like that and they were painful.

I wasn’t worried about stone being too hard because I love glass. However, the one end definitely comes to more of a point, so you’ll want to be careful when inserting it. Unlike most glass dildos, the texture is smooth and slick all the way. It’s easy to insert with a little lube, and you can choose to use either end if you want. Size-wise, you’re looking at 8 inches — plenty to stimulate the G-spot and control the toy. However, I do find the squared end to be better for grasping. The pointed end might slip out of your hand if it’s covered in lube.

The other end is a bit more squared off, which might not be everyone’s cup of tea. The pointed end is also slightly narrower, and rigid materials like stone can often feel larger than they actually are. Of course, you hopefully know this and you want a toy like this one, which will last you forever. This toy falls to in the medium range. The description says the diameter is just under 1.5 inches, but my measurements come up a bit smaller than that. The squared end has a diameter of under 1.35 inches, but it’s not perfectly round. The pointed end is more like 1.20 inches.

Like glass, stone is cool to the touch. You may warm it with water, but it seems to stay cooler than metal, for example. I like this, but you may not be such a fan. Not every material it for every person.

Care-wise, you can wash it clean. The packaging claims it could break if dropped on the floor. I’d be extra careful with this beauty.

So where does this leave me in this review?

Would it be too cheesy for me to tell you to go get laid?

Yea, I’m going to do it anyway.

Get laid.

 

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