Marilyn

October 29th, 2012

Berman Weighted Pelvic Exerciser Marilyn

Berman Weighted Pelvic Exerciser Marilyn

This is a discontinued product, but you can try a smart Kegel trainer or Kegel balls to improve muscle function.

I haven’t had a lot of luck with the other Dr Berman toys I’ve tried. They’re frequently poor quality and inferior materials. Many of them items seem like there were design by someone who has no idea what a man or woman truly wants from a sex toy, let alone a so-called expert. In fact, I have thrown out every single Dr. Berman toy I’ve had a chance to try, so I don’t have high hopes for them. If you’re getting the picture that I wouldn’t have personally chosen to buy this dildo/PC exerciser, then you’re right.

But, I think this toy is probably less of an abomination than every other toy in the line. However, it could definitely use some improvements. Let’s start with the obvious. This is made of resin. I assume it’s something like acrylic. Every once in a while, you see a toy made of this hard material. On EF’s scales, it’s rated a 9, so it’s not horrible, but I think it is confusing. So the toy seems similar to but not quite like glass. That is, it’s clear, smooth and rigid. It sounds like plastic if you hit it with a nail, though. The density isn’t quite the same.

I think it’s also a little lighter than glass, but I’m not positive. I don’t know if this is actually working against the design. You see, California Exotics has included two weighted stainless steel balls in either end of the toy. One of obviously larger and heavier than the other. The intent is to use this is a pelvic muscle exerciser, but I think perhaps the weight of glass could have helped this, reducing or even eliminating the need for the balls themselves. Maybe I’m wrong, but I find the material choice curious.

I’m also not sold on the design. I recognize that this isn’t supposed to be a dildo per se, but I’m betting that most people will want it to be versatile. The end with the larger internal ball has a single row of nubs that run around the circumference. It’s got no texture at all. I like rows of nubs or, preferably, ridges that wrap around the entire shaft. I’m not much of a fan of such a difference between texture and lack thereof, so this isn’t my thing.

The other side of the shaft also has some interesting texture, but I’m having a hard time describing it. If you look at it head on from the end, it looks a bit like a star. There are elongated dimples that are about an inch or so long running down the length of the shaft. This results in angled ridges. Most ridges tend to be more square or round, at least in my experience. This is unique, but I think it looks cooler than it is.

The rest of the shaft is completely smooth. It tapers toward the center, so either end is wider. Both ends come to a rounded point, and it seems like the one on the nubby end is a little more rounded, but it could just be shorter. That end seems significantly smaller, even though it holds the larger internal ball. I think it’s just my eyes playing tricks on me though. It is smaller, but not by much. The smaller end measures about 1.4″ in diameter, while the larger end measures a little over 1.5″ in diameter. The product description says 1.25″, but that doesn’t match any measurement I took. The thinnest part is less than an inch wide, so I’ve no idea.

Sizewise, this could work for people who like smaller toys, but because the ends are larger, there’s no tapering to help you out. This isn’t really for pleasure in that way. Ideally, you’d start with the larger end with the smaller ball for PC exercises. You could pull with your fingers while using your muscles to play tug of war or simply insert and squeeze. I suppose if you were so inclined, you could walk around with it inserted, but I’m not. Then, you’d move to the smaller end, which would require better trained muscles and which, in theory, result in more of a workout because of the weightier ball.

But therein lies the keyword: workout. I don’t have the time or effort to be so conscientious about my PC muscles, and I don’t think it’s necessary for me. If you experience more difficulties with bladder control or have just given birth, you might be more concerned than I am. Perhaps this “Weighted Pelvic Exerciser” might be more up your alley or your doctor would recommend something similar. Then again, I’m not sure why you couldn’t just use a regular dildo or, if you’re lazy like me, some kegel balls might be better for passive exercise. I’m just saying.

In terms of quality, there’s no seams. Ease of use? Yep. Versatility? Eh, not so much. Cleaning and care? As easy as glass or hard plastic. I’d you could use any lube with this, but I’m not really sure. So information? Cal Exotics is pretty lacking there. Still, this toy doesn’t seem to do much that one of my glass dildos does, and I can use them to get off or squirt, too. However, it’s definitely the least offensive in the Berman line, so there’s that.

CEN Sexpert

10 Comments


Tantus Splash

July 30th, 2012

Tantus Splash

Tantus Splash

Tantus no longer makes this product.

You may recall that the Splish surprised me. It was much smaller than I thought and, in fact, while pretty, didn’t do a whole lot for me. The Splash, on the other hand, was a dildo that I expected would be much too large, especially with the texture. I didn’t expect to like it much at all.. but I was wrong.

The Splash is almost identical to its younger cousin, but it’s much bigger. At 1.75″, it’s not for the tiny vagina-havers of the world. The drippy ridges add some serious texture to this dildo, too. If you like it smooth and small, this isn’t the toy for you. Why not try the faerie instead? And, indeed, I thought I would be one of those people who wouldn’t like the Splash because of this. However, I was dead wrong. It’s definitely not the size, though, because it is a wee bit large for me.

However, in spite of the fact that my vagina really had to struggle to take this one, and there was no way I was going to get the full 6″ (insertable) up there, even if I wanted to. Still, the texture was so very noticeable. My g-spot was like “Hey, guys, I can feel that.. a lot!” and then I freaked out, wondering who the hell my g-spot was talking to and just how it was accomplishing this task.

The Splash took very little time and effort, in terms of movement, to elicit some FE action from my body. It felt pretty good doing it, but I feel like I’d enjoy it slightly more after sex or other toys.. but I’m not the type to whip out a dildo post-intercourse, and aside from reviewing, I don’t take much pleasure in using multiple insertables during a jam masturbation session.

So, I’m pleasantly surprised by how well my body reacted to this melty-candle-lookin’ dildo, it’s not one that I would reach for all the time. My Vixskin dildos feel good and let me squirt, without requiring the prep or effort. Similarly, I can’t say this is the perfect dildo for everyone. Size queens will love it, but its girth means it feels pretty solid. It’s not rock hard, but it’s pretty firm, and the texture could very well be uncomfortable or painful for some. I’ve used toys that looks like they had a lot of texture, but the Splish and Splash really take the cake.

However, if you like size and texture, you’ll probably love the design of this. The gradient between purple and white is one of the best designs, as far as aesthetics, that I’ve seen from Tantus. The texture is great to look at, and the base makes it safe for anal play and compatible with harnesses. Perhaps the amazing Sasha harness from SquareParts.

7 Comments


Smooth Lover

June 26th, 2012

Smooth Lover

Smooth Lover

This toy has been discontinued.

The Smooth Lover dildo from MyPleasure is actually one that I’d had my eye on for a long time. I mean, it’s just so pretty, but it doesn’t look like it’d do anything for me. For a while, no dildo did, and my luck is inconsistent even today. I took the plunge and asked to review it this month, and I’m, torn. On one hand., it’s a pretty, pink, silicone dildo and I kind of want to stick it to my wall–you can do that with the suction cup base–and look at it all day. On the other hand, I never want to use it again.

So, this dildo isn’t actually smooth. There are embossed swirls and such on it, which is exactly what gives its the pretty appearance. The silicone at the base spreads and thins out to create the suction cup, and there’s a slightly contoured head that had a ridge of silicone around it. Under the head, at the frenulum area, is this little nub of silicone. It’s kinda cute, but also sort of weird. You can imagine this is intended to stimulate the g-spot because the dildo is perfect straight otherwise. It feels interesting to begin with. Even though the dildo isn’t smooth, the scrollwork can’t be felt internally. Most people have mentioned that. However, the nub can. At first, I liked it and then it very quickly started to irritate the inner wall of my vagina, so I stopped playing with it.

I think I prefer my vibrators straighter and my dildos curved. I don’t like to stroke as much as I like to clench around a dildo. It was also a little awkward to hold this one. I wound up sort of pinching the base, because it’s only 6″ long, and there’s not a lot of room to grip it down there. I constantly felt as though it was going to slip out of my hand. I was pretty surprised by the firmness, or lack thereof. I think everyone who’s ever written a review for this toy has come to a different conclusion. The core is definitely firm, but it’s softer toward the base, and you can bend it a bit. It’s still not the best for g-spotting, in my opinion. Neither is the base wide enough for strap-on usage.

So, the chance to review this dildo pretty much confirmed my fears. Yes, it’s pretty. Yes, the suction cup works really well. It’s also annoying. There are two very visible seams. It’s awkwardly shaped for both g-spotting and holding. It’s definitely one of those “maybe they’ll be distracted by its looks” type of deals.

4 Comments


Cici

June 25th, 2012

I was pleasantly surprised by Cici. Its design evokes Tantus’ silicone dildos, but it’s pretty small. For some reason, I forgot that I love small toys. I don’t know what’s up with that. So, I think you can guess that I actually found Cici pretty effective, despite the fact that it’s only a little over 5″ long and 1.5″ in diameter. In fact, I’d say it probably feels smaller than that, probably because the width is about the same all the the way through. There’s a slightly contoured head, but it’s not so extremely that you have to work your way up to it. There’s no major tapering or growth in size. I tried this after the horribly rigid Vanity vr 4.5, though, so that probably affected my perfection.

One thing I noticed right away is that the gentle G-spot curve makes this thing falls over. It may be silly, but I like toys that can stand up on end. Blush could improve Cici, maybe, by using a suction cup type base instead. Otherwise, the base provides a steady place to hold this dildo, and it always works for strap-ons; although, Cici doesn’t come with one.

The silicone is definitely firm for you to be able to control where this dildo is going. I’m not a huge fan of dildos that are so soft that I have trouble inserting them. In fact, once I lubed this up a bit, the head quickly pressed against my G-spot, and I was able to squirt within seconds. There’s a tiny bit of give if you squeeze this dildo in your hand, but the core is firm enough for thrusting or simply holding in place. It wasn’t so firm that it molested my cervix, however. This is good news, because it was feeling especially sensitive the first night I tried it. Sometimes I just need something small and a little soft, and Cici fit the bill.

So, I’m not quite gushing about this dildo, because I do like the feel of the softer silicone better. However, it did make me gush. The silicone is slightly more shiny than velvety. The manufacturer calls it satin–whatever that means. The material is best used with water-based lube, of course, but you don’t have to worry about phthalates. You can even bleach or boil to clean it well enough to swap between partners or holes, which is one of the pluses if silicone. Unfortunately, Cici will collect lint just as well as any of your other silicone toys, and this one only comes in a plastic box that you’ll probably throw away. A storage bag would be a nice option, in my opinion.

I would recommend Cici to anyone looking for an affordable G-spot dildo. If you’re not sure that this type of stimulation will work for you, you don’t need to spend a whole lot on the Cici. You could even get two or three of them for the price of any G-spot vibrator.

3 Comments


Pure-Joy Pleasure

June 3rd, 2012

Pure-Joy PleasureThis is an archived review. Joyful Pleasures no longer exists, and I have since found out they are not a reputable company.

If you’re looking to buy similar glass toys, check out Lilly’s post on glass safety first!

Remember when I wrote that glowing review for the 24K Double Pleasure dildo? Well, I do! It was a fun review, and the manufacturer liked it to, so a second Joyful Pleasures dildo was soon in my paws. I chose this because the design seemed unique. It features five bulbs, but they appear almost angular in photos. It was something different. In person, the texture isn’t quite was I expected, but it’s still neat. Each bulb has a ridge around it, but it’s not straight. It dips down in the back and comes back up to a point in the front. To better depict this, here’s Disney’s Bella in her golden ball down. It’s like the details on the skirt of the dress:

It’s hard to photograph. I tried myself, but glass is always a little tricky, in my opinion. Anyway, the bulbs gently curve, making this a good G-spot toy. The shaft ends with a flat base. This dildo will sit up straight on your table; although, there’s no suction cup, so it won’t stay that way. The base make it safe for anal play and also offers a handhold for vaginal insertion. The shaft isn’t centered on the base, though. In use, I found this didn’t impede holding it; although, it’ll feel slightly off center.

Aside from the slight ridges, all the glass is smooth, so you may not need a lot of lube. I didn’t use very much myself. The shape of the bulbs and ridges isn’t that large. The diameter is 1.5″ at the widest. Of course, the shaft tapers beneath the bulbs, and you can definitely feel them. This makes the Pure-Joy Pleasure a good option if you want an anal probe type toy. You can take as many bulbs as you want, or just stick to the first one as you work your way up to it. You’ll get about 6.5″ of total insertion length, if you decide to go all the way with this one.

I tried this dildo only vaginally, and I didn’t love it quite as much as my other Joyful Pleasures, too. It was easy to feel each bulb and the ridges. The rigidity allowed for pretty intense G-spot stimulation, but it just wasn’t what I love. I think I prefer one defined head and a straight or gently curving shaft to all the activity of the Pure-Joy Pleasure.

Really, it’s pretty enough that I could use it as a paperweight, although I wouldn’t… Maybe you would.

One thing I love about this is that it’s super easy to clean. The slickness of glass is my friend. However, it does become slippery when cleaning or coated with lube, so you’ll want to keep a steady grip on this. The base absolutely does help. I would love to see Joyful Pleasure offering some sort of storage option. Even a thin bag would be nice. I tossed out the box, because it’s a little bulky, and I just don’t have space for it. If you’re really worried about your toy, then you might keep the box. I don’t like to do that. I feel like it’s mostly a waste of space.

So, would I recommend the Pure-Joy Pleasure? Not after I learned that the company was simply shipping mass-produced, low-quality glass  to consumers like myself.

3 Comments


Tantus Acute

May 20th, 2012

Sometimes, there are things that you just don’t get from a product page. In the case of the Acute, a silicone dildo by Tantus, it’s all about size and texture. I always thought that this dildo was a lot bigger than it is. I tend to pay more attention to pictures than measurements, so I was pleasantly surprised after removing it from its package.

This little G-spot dildo is, well, little. With a total of 6″, five of which are insertable, it isn’t intimidating in the least. Plus, it only has a diameter of 1.25″ at its largest. This makes it great for people like me, with picky cervixes. I don’t want to say this is necessarily good for beginners, but it might be the better option for an intro to anal play — if the length is long enough for that.

What also makes this piece appealing to me is its flexibility. It’s not the Super Soft because it uses a regular silicone treatment. It is, however, much softer than the Goliath. The silicone reminds me a lot of the Delta, but it’s thicker, so you have more control. For example, I can bend the base back during insertion to make it press toward my G-spot/front vaginal wall, but it’s still plenty firm enough that I can thrust effectively.

This one works as a G-spotter for me, but it might not for you if you required more girth, length or pressure. The head, although bulging slightly, it’s realistically contoured, nor does it offer a pronounced ridge or lip. Similarly, the curve is quite relaxed, unlike some G-spot toys. It’s also harness-compatible for vaginal or anal sex but, as I mentioned, it might be a little short for penetration from behind.

I got mine in the pearly white, which I love. There are more colors, but white doesn’t have gender connotations. It doesn’t quite seem the same shade all the way through. It’s almost marbled, but the purple seems to be even more so.

I notice that the base acts like a suction cup, especially when it’s wet. That adds a bit more function, but I prefer for G-spot stimulation while I’m lying down. This way, I can easily stroke and the Acute, although slimmer than some, was an effective G-spot toy. There isn’t the hole for a tiny vibrator, like Tantus offes in some of their dildos.

Overall, this is a good toy. It doesn’t necessarily provide anything more than any other toy I have, nor do it in a ground-breaking way, but my cervix does appreciate the combination of softness and shortness. I’m not sure if I would prefer this over my Faerie, however, but I don’t think Tantus is making that one anymore.

Thanks to SexShop.Net for this toy to review.

1 Comment


24K Double Pleasure

February 13th, 2012

This is an archived review. Joyful Pleasures no longer exists, and I have since found out they are not a reputable company.

If you’re looking to buy similar glass toys, check out Lilly’s post on glass safety first!

Joyful Pleasure is a new manufacturer that is now being carried by My Pleasure. They have a bunch of cool designs that you should check out. I was given a chance to review their gold-hued dildo. To be honest, I’m not sure if it’s actually just tinted or actually has gold fumes.

I’ve used a lot of toys, you guys. Some of them are good, some of them are bad. Few of them are great. Reviewing definitely has become mundane. And then a toy like this comes along and I’m like “Where have you been all my life?”

In fact, I think I will write this entire review as a conversation between me and this dildo.

Dildo: Knock Knock

Adriana: Come in, come in!

[Dildo Steps In]

Adriana: WOW, you are motherfucking gorgeous. I mean, your profile picture were hawt but I want to wax poetic about your beauty. Those pictures do NOT do you justice.

Dildo: Thank you. I try.

Adriana: You also remind me a lot of another dildo I tried. I liked it. I haven’t used it for a while. I wonder if you’re be any better.

24k Double Pleasure

Dildo: Why don’t you try me and find out?

Adriana: Can I bathe you first?

Dildo: I’m not self-conscientious at all.

Adriana: Awesome! Wow, you sure have a purdy shine under water. You’re super slick and easy to clean but I better be careful not to break your head off. I’d cry and cry and cry.

Dildo: Can we play now, Adriana?

Adriana: Of course. I’ll just add a little lube. Wait, you’re so clear, I can’t even see the lube. Where the hell did it go? Okay, I’ll just add some more, even though you’re so slick I really need very little.

[Editor’s note: although this toy doesn’t seem all that large, the 1.5″ diameter feels a little larger due to the unforgiving nature of glass and both the ridges and nubs raise 1/8″ from the surface]

Dildo: Why don’t you try my ridges first? They’re exceptional and I’ll bet they’ll stimulate your G-spot nicely.

Adriana: I bet you wi– HOLY SHIT! YOU ARE AMAZING! I FORGOT THAT MASTURBATING CAN ACTUALLY FEEL GOOD. WHAT IS GOING ON HERE? I NEVER WANT TO STOP.

Dildo: Isn’t it awesome how you can feel every ridge? And how my firmness and gentle makes it easy to hit all the right spots? And the head on the other side is pretty good to hold onto, don’t you think?

Adriana: OH GOD YES.

And so Adriana thoroughly enjoyed the shit out that dildo, remembering that masturbation could be enjoyable and not just a means to and end. She then decided to try out the other end.

Adriana: Hmm, this is a little disappointing. These bumps don’t do much for me at all.

Dildo: I’m sorry, would you like me to go away?

Adriana: No, never! Shut up! I’ll stick fuck the other side of you.

And so she did. The end.

Gorgeous Glass Dildos

In case you’re the type of person who is caught up with trivial details, here’s a copy footnotes.

  • This dildo comes with no storage so that’s sad.
  • It’s 9″ in length altogether. The 1.5″ diameter is at the widest point of the heads and not the shaft itself. The shaft remainds about 1″ in diameter — without the textures — and is consistent in girth.
  • The heads, for me, didn’t do anything. I was using the textures against my G-spot.
  • The ridges are actually a continuous line swirled down the shaft to produce 4 or so ridges on any side. There are 4 rows of bumps as well.
  • Apparently, I liked bumps better when I tried my first glass dildo. Weird.

5 Comments