DOMINIX Deluxe Leather Wrist to Thigh Restraint

December 29th, 2015

There are certain things that have the right smell, taste or touch that instantly make  you feel sexy. I would argue that the DOMINIX Deluxe Leather Wrist to Thigh Restraint aris e one of those things. From the instant I smelled the leather to the first touch, both of the unfinished suede and the finished leather side, I was hooked. This is the type of item that you lust over, the type of thing you write into your fantasies — or even the one thing that gets you back into the habit of fantasizing.

With as many toys, ties and treats as I’ve tried, it’s hard for anything to do that to me (for me? anymore, but the DOMINIX Deluxe Leather Wrist to Thigh Restraint does.

So what exactly has me so gaga?

They feel high-quality. It’s the leather. It’s the firm stitching. It’s how I can pull on them with arms, spreading my thighs further, without any worry of them giving way. It’s the buckles, shining and secure around my wrists and my thighs. It’s the type of thing that makes you say “$47 is not only affordable but even a steal for these goodies!”. And I would say that. I’m saying it to you now.

It’s the leather. I love leather. I’ve tried vegan leather. I’ve had rope, fur, metal and foam cuffed around me. But there’s nothing quite like leather, with its intoxicating smell. The textured treatment of the exterior of these cuffs is interesting to touch and feel. The soft insides rest against my flesh, holding me enthralled, and the bordered hems give it a completed feel.

It’s the simplicity of binding thighs to wrists. The more you struggle from your upper body, the further open your legs spread. More often than not, I want to pull them closed as I cum, but these cuffs won’t let me. It’s my body being a an instrument of my own torture, if even torture it can be called.

But enough with the waxing poetic. You know that I love the DOMINIX Deluxe Leather Wrist to Thigh Restraint. Will you?

They aren’t quite perfect, either. Because the buckle secures on another layer, you have to be careful if you want them to make a complete circle around a wrist and nestle the layers in securely. Think of how you make the two layers of your belt lie flat. If your wrists are especially small, the buckle will always join the two sides of the cuffs at an angle. This doesn’t affect performance. It’s just not aesthetically appealing to me.

Furthermore, these cuffs are best for straight sized people. I have 8-inch wrists — larger than your average bracelet but smaller than many men’s wrists. You can only secure wrists up to 10.5 inches in diameter with these cuffs. It seems a little small to me, but leather comes at a premium price, so I understand why the company would err on the side of smaller.

The thigh cuffs are both wider (2″ compared to 1.5″ for the wrist cuffs) and longer for obvious reasons. The cuffs range from 19 inches to 28 inches, depending upon which hole you use. You could potentially move them further down your thighs, toward your knee, if they’re too small for the fleshier part. However, I do like how they look further up the thigh! I have both muscle and fat in my thighs that makes them fairly wide, and I can wear the cuffs at the fleshiest point with them buckled at the third hole in, but there’s not a lot of give, there. If you’re plus sized, you might consider another option for thigh bondage.

DOMINIX Deluxe Leather Wrist to Thigh Restraint

DOMINIX Deluxe Leather Wrist to Thigh Restraint

You’ll probably want to secure the thigh cuffs toward the inside or underside of your thighs, so the wrist cuffs will face up or out. I find it’s easiest to secure them first around thighs, then to add your wrists into the mix. I can easily do one thigh and wrist by myself, but it’ll require a second person to secure the other side. once they are secure, they won’t come loose; although, there’s no way to put a padlock on them. They’re not that hardcore.

Because of the design, you’re going to have extra material dangling if you wanted to use these just as thigh or wrist cuffs — they don’t separate. Nor is there a loop or hook so you could attach them to other bondage gear. But they’ll work well for someone who is kneeling, lying on a bed, sitting on a chair so on and so forth.

Like under the bed restraints, the DOMINIX Deluxe Leather Wrist to Thigh Restraints use the bound person’s strength and body against them, which makes them more enticing than I originally expected. And at under $50, they’re really something you ought to try!

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Loveo Nox

December 2nd, 2015

Now that I’ve given more than one sound-controlled vibrator a try, I feel pretty confident comparing how they work and, more than that, whether or not they’re even a thing we need to have at all. Unfortunately for companies like Lelo and Loveo, the answer to the latter question is an unequivocal “No.”

Let’s start with Loveo’s shape, a slightly-curved shaft intended for G-spot stimulation. The head isn’t as flat or narrow as some G-spotters. It definitely is rounded and wider than some toys. The gradual taper feels more filling than some G-spot toys, but I can see why is would be a poor fit if you need an extreme angle for adequate G-spotting.

This is all covered in silky smooth silicone that could be primed with some lube but doesn’t have nearly as much drag as a Fun Factory toy, for instance. Aside from the plastic buttons, it’s covered in this somewhat-squishy layer of silicone that’s much softer than a Lelo toy.

It’s also waterproof thanks to the charging ports that’s similar to many toys on the market. You’ll need to wiggle the adapter into the port just right. I’ve had more problems with this type of port than I care to admit. I don’t know if it’s just me, though.

I’m not thrilled with the appearance, either. It’s not that it’s pink. Enough of my fellow bloggers have made public their annoyance with a certain shade befit only for Barbie. But the silver, plastic panel appears cheap. And the shape of the buttons offers no redemption; although, they do offer a nice tactile feedback when in use. It’s just the whole design reminds me of Maia Toys, too pink, too little, too late, yet not enough to stand out in any recognizable way.

Next come the buttons, 2 of which switch between modes and 2 that adjust strength of vibrations. You must first turn it on by holding the + button (holding the – turns it off) then press either the H to turn on sound activation or M button to use regular vibrators.

When you’re in steady vibes, pressing the M quickly cycles through escalation, pulsaton, a combination mode, mixed length pulses and back to steady vibrations. Interestingly, there’s a mode through the cycle that does nothing at all, which is just a wasted button push in my opinion.

The vibrations are on the buzzy side of moderate, especially when you turn up the strength, and there are only three levels of them when on the constant vibration mode. They’re enough to make me squirt but not the type that would get me off clitorally.

If you’ve used Siri 2, then you know what to expect from Loveo Nox. There’s a slight delay when making noise. You can imitate a pulse once you get used to it, but it’s much harder to achieve escalation. For steady vibrations, you would need constant noise. I find using my breath works especially well.

Music is a toss up as it’ll vibrate constantly if it’s too close to the source or the music is too loud. But the microphone in this toy, which is located in the handle, seems more responsive than that of Siri 2. There’s about a 6-inch range before the toy cuts out.

It’s undeniable that the sound-responsive function in these toys is useless as a solo endeavor. Short of screaming yourself hoarse or blaring music, both of which would likely get the cops called on you, it’s nearly impossible to create loud enough ambient noise. One could arguably masturbate closer to a source of sound, perhaps a laptop or seated in front of a desk, but that’s not my style. And it’s still a big “if.”

I think that about sums up my opinion on “innovative” “features” of sex toys. If I have to completely change my masturbation habits in a way that’s distracting, this feature is really a liability. I would even give companies some slack considering my unusual need for pressure and general ability to get off within single-digit minutes, but the Loveo Nox is one that seems just as trying for most users.

With that said, it might be more useful during partner play, when your partner is able to breathe, moan or otherwise make noise into the microphone but this still requires your partner to adapt to the toy and not the other way around. I can’t see how this bodes well.

With many toys that are “new” or “improved,” I find myself trying to sell it on virtues of being a decent albeit unremarkable toy when you fall back on standard functions, but Loveo has included a motor that’s generally forgettable. This is especially true when compared with vibrators that have dual motors or especially deep vibrations.

I always feel bad when writing a review that’s negative, but I would feel worse leading my readers astray. If you’re looking for something better, the Loveo Nox isn’t it. It’s different, but that’s certainly not a selling point in this case.

There are plenty of attractive toys, toys that stimulate the G-spot with a similar amount of girth, vibrators made of silicone and those that offer deep vibrations that would be a better investment than this one.

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I’ve Been Published

October 10th, 2015

I’m very proud to announce that you can find my writings published in hard cover and not just on my blog.

Check out the books below to find my stories.  Hopefully, this list grows as I am published more.

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Fetish Fantasy Shock Therapy Neon Wand

September 24th, 2015

Pipedream has made a concerted effort to get their foot in the doorway to electro sex products. There are electro panties, cuffs, anal plugs, paddles and cock rings. More intense me BDSM gear includes an interesting electro pinwheel, which I think is a great use of electricity, and even sounds, which is  not something I am personally interested in. The holy grail of all electrosex products is, perhaps, the neon wand, and Pipedream offers those, too.

The company sent me one to try out, and I could not have been more excited. If there’s one thing I’ve been wanting to try for months years, it’s a neon wand. Kinklab is one of the companies especially known for selling neon wands, which allow you to play with electricity in a safe manner. Pipedream really wants to attract kinksters with these new offerings.

The neon wand gets its name from the neon light you can see, especially when using the wand in the dark. It’s certainly more aesthetically appealing than the Shock Fantasy Wand. However, you can hop over to my affiliate store and get that for less than half of the neon wand if you’re not so sure about this electricity thing.

But let me assure you, dear readers, that the neon wand is exciting but gentle in its own way. It’s incredibly easy to use and, really, not intimidating in the least. Unlike the sort of toys that plug into an electricity control pack, which is often battery powered. Instead, this plugs directly into your wall, so you might wan an extension cord nearby if your play space doesn’t have outlet access. The cord is about 6 feet long, so you do have some length to work with.

The rest of this 5-piece set is the four glass attachments. Each is a hollow glass tube with a metal ring at the end. You simply push it into the end of the wand to connect. It pulls directly back out, much like attachments for the Eroscillator. It’s easy to grasp because of the velvety plastic. The attachments are shaped like a comb, a spoon, a satellite and a thin curve with a bulb at the end.

Fetish Fantasy Shock Therapy Neon Wand Attachments

Fetish Fantasy Shock Therapy Neon Wand Attachments

All of this is contained in a thick cardboard box with a glossy exterior. Each piece sits within a foam insert, and while it’s finicky to get them back in — a couple of the attachments don’t seem like they ever fit — everything is so secure that I’ll keep using it. The box also closes with a magnet

I haven’t had a chance to try the electricity conducive gel, but Pipedream offers some of that, and you can find it from other brands, too. This might increase the sensations of the Fetish Fantasy Neon Wand. Pipedream also describes how the gel can eliminate “hot spots,” which I haven’t experienced with the neon wand. But if you’re using another toy that has more consistent contact with your skin, the gel might be a good idea to keep things consistent and comfortable.

So, there’s not much of a learning curve — but not in terms of adjusting it. The knob on the base offers audible and haptic feedback when turned, and the neon wand immediately buzzes to life. You’ll see the purple hue and hear it buzzing. It’s not like a vibrator, and I wouldn’t worry about being discovered. Both the sound and intensity of the light increase as you turn up the knob.

How does it feel? Well, first you have to know that you don’t want to touch the glass to your skin. You want to leave just a bit of space so the electricity can arc to your skin. Yes, this is scarier than it sounds. It does feel akin to a static shock but in a more controlled manner. Depending upon the attachment you use, there will be more points of contact.

The comb offers the most with each of the “teeth” allowing an arc to jump from glass to skin. In practice, I rarely get more than two simultaneous arcs because I am, you know, a 3D human being, and nothing on my body is exactly flat. But I did catch three at a time in my video. Position the comb over flat planes for the greatest effect. Or use a different electrode to concentrate energy on smaller areas such as your nipples.

While the neon wand is relatively safe, there are a few caveats. Don’t use it internally. There are videos of people using similar wands on their tongues, so I think you could give that a try. You can feel electricity sneaking through the seam of the casing in the wand itself where the two parts attach — just below the Shock Therapy logo. That seems like a quality control issue, but I think a little electrical tape would fix mine up.

You will want to remove anything metal. I have a few piercings in my ears but keep them in as I don’t use the neon wand anywhere near there. Where do I like to use it? My nipples seem to react well, and I think I would personally like the comb along my upper shoulders/back, but it would be better with a partner. The neon wand really does nothing for me clitorally, which leads me my final thoughts.

This is an interesting toy that arouses in the excitement way. With a lack of other sexual stimulation, the Neon Wand itself isn’t going to get me horny or off. But as part of partner activities, especially when a blindfold is involved. There isn’t a lot of difference in sensation between the small electrodes like there is with the comb attachment. Though, your milage will surely vary.

You’re not gonig to find the Neon Wand at less than $100. In fact, few retailers seem to be carrying it at all. You can get it at my affiliate store for just under $120 if you use the coupon code NeonWand20Off.

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Breaching the gap between no-strings-encounters and relationships

September 13th, 2015

Thanks to my sponsor for this post about moving from NSA sex to a relationship, something I can’t quite get the hang of!

The world of dating is often seen as made of two different parties: people who are interested in long term commitment and people who prefer the more casual approach, favoring one night stands and no-strings attached encounters. It is understandable that people make different life choices; after all. we are all individuals with different lifestyles and values. Furthermore, modern life; particularly the evolution of the internet now makes it much easier for people to find like-minded lovers across the globe. But this doesn’t mean that one night stands and long term relationships have to be mutually exclusive to one another.

No-strings-encounters.

The expression says it all; no-strings-encounters mainly consist of hooking up with a person for a bit of non-committal fun. This approach to dating has long existed, but is more anchored into modern society than ever before. This is mainly because people are seeing a shift away from traditional relationships and wary of marriage, which could lead to divorce. This encourages people not to get committed into a relationship just because they’ve slept with someone. Furthermore, the celebrity culture which also shows a lot of divorces, but also a lot of people just enjoying a bit of fun is a lifestyle that some people look up to. As our role models enjoy having fun, so do we.

Beyond cultural evolution, the technology of the internet makes it much easier for us to find a like-minded partner online for a bit of non-committal fun. Indeed, internet dating sites now specialise themselves into so many different niches, fuck buddy dating being one of the most popular ones. There are great example of dating site specializing into no-strings-encounters only (click here to find out), making us understand that having a bit of casual fun is easier than ever before.

Relationships.

Relationships are more complex and they certainly require a lot of work and commitment. As such, they can be extremely rewarding; providing us not only with a lifetime partner but potentially a family which will continue to pass on our genetic heritage. Now this might sound a bit intense and serious, but it doesn’t mean that long term relationships cannot be fun. In fact a lot of long term relationships started as a as a casual encounter. Without the pressure of future commitment, casual couples can take the time to enjoy themselves and get to know each other. As time goes along and going through other encounters, we progressively realise that we actually prefer being with that person. We then make the decision to get into a longer relationship based on our experience with that person, rather than a systematic thing to do.

And once we are in a relationship, all the commitment and hard work shouldn’t stop us from taking time off and enjoying ourselves. By remembering and re-acting the good times we used to have when the relationship had no strings attached, we get to have sex for fun and enjoyment rather than just for love. It keeps spice in our lives which will help keep our relationship together.

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A list of thoughts

August 17th, 2015

I had when I realized my ex-husband has a child with the woman he was (probably) cheating on me with before we split up.

  • Of course he was cheating on me. Why did I ignore the signs? How could I have been so stupid?
  • Was I stupid for the entire thing? Do I suddenly regret everything?
  • How can she think being with him is a good idea?
  • Why do they look so happy? Are they really?
  • Don’t I deserve happiness?
  • Why wasn’t I worth working it out with?
  • Was it all my fault? Maybe he’s not as bad as I think he was?
  • Perhaps he suddenly changed? Was I holding him back?
  • She’s cute.. and not as thin as I would have expected.
  • I wonder if I would like her if I met her in another situation.
  • I do hope he’s happy at least.
  • Their relationship will probably end anyway, statistically speaking.
  • What a terrible name for a child.
  • What have I been doing these last five years? Is everything really awesome? Or does it amount to nothing?
  • How much does his mother like her?
  • Was there any way I could have succeeded in her eyes?
  • Why did this have to happen on a day when I’m so emotional about the bartender?
  • At least I’m upset about the situation and not hung up on him.
  • But why do I keep picking cowardly people who aren’t honest with me? Or is it just that most people are cowards?
  • How will I ever sleep again?
  • Why do I even care? It doesn’t matter. I’m not in love with him. I’m in love with another asshole, in fact. And it doesn’t change anything. We’d still be split up for almost five years.

And a million other thoughts. Ugh!

They’re not healthy or secure for the most part.

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As Kinky as You Wanna Be: Your Guide to Safe, Sane and Smart BDSM

August 11th, 2015

What makes As Kinky as You Wanna Be stand out among the myriad of other instructional BDSM books? For starters, it’s not so much a “how to” as some of those books, and Shanna quickly discusses this in the beginning. There are plenty of books that offer this type of information. Off the top of my head, I’d suggest SM101 by Jay Wiseman. He writes about the nitty gritty of bondage and safety, knots and other practical skills. There are books by the likes of 2 Knotty Boys, who also have YouTube videos, to get you started on the right foot, too.

The second difference between this book is how it’s arranged. Each chapter/section has a theme. Shanna discusses the theme, then follows an interview with someone who is especially knowledgable and experienced with that specific subject matter. In fact, Wiseman is one of those people! Then, you’ll have an erotica story or two surrounding the chapter’s theme.

I find the erotica helps to break up the instruction, but it also helps illustrate the subject that’s being discussed in a tangible yet fantastic way that can help a reader who may not be so familiar with certain concepts surrounding BDSM. For example, the section on consent and safewords includes two erotic pieces where couples are exploring their kinky sides and boundaries, each party looking for feedback that their exploration hasn’t crossed into unwanted territory.

Before these stories, Shanna discusses her own experiences surrounding consent, where she and her partner would ask what the other wanted. Well before she was thinking about the idea of consent or even what it means to be kinky, Ms. Germain was engaging in explicitly consented activities.  She goes on to detail SSC and RACK and delves into negotiation, highlighting how it doesn’t always happen at the beginning of a relationship or activities. She describes safewords as a way of removing consent, which I quite like.

Like every other chapter in the book, this is followed with some actionable tips for people who want to put the advice into practice. The repeated format is great because you always know what’s coming, even though the table of contents appears quite long because each of the eight chapters has at least two subsections.

The book is really quite short at 183 words, including the afterword, glossary, resources and author bios. And the progression of the chapters from discovery to discusses to to consent to toys to ettiquette to health to safety and, finally, through “handling rough terrain” makes perfect sense. It also allows the reader to choose the chapters that are most useful to them.

Shanna Germain discusses all of this with a conversational tone that’s approachable. She talks about her own experience and kinky identity, and she manages to do it all in a way that puts the reader at ease, which I think it important with texts like these. Ms. Germain is an open-minded person, and she knows she’s likely to continue growing as a person. This flexibility is, perhaps, missing from some discussion and resources about BDSM and kinky interests. It’s refreshing.

Although As Kinky as You Wanna Be didn’t introduce me to much new — even many of the contributors were quite familiar to me as a kinky reader and sex blogger — I do feel like it’s a great introductory book to anyone who might be wondering if they’re kinky or who may know they are but not sure where to go from there.

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