Below you’ll find all of the sex toy reviews I’ve written at Of Sex and Love. Find my opinions on vibrators, dildos, media (sex education books, porn, DVDs and erotica), bondage and BDSM gear, lingerie, anal toys, lube, massage products, and more!
Considering sex toy storage? Look no further!
I’ve also reviewed sexual health goodies.
Don’t forget all those accessories and non-sex toy reviews.
If you’re looking for a particular review, please use the search bar at the right.
Not too long ago, I tried a Sue Johanson rabbit vibe and was like “Hmmm, this a decent toy but it doesn’t fit me all that well.” I thought I’d try another toy by Ms Johanson and opted for her Royal Rabbit (I’m trying to get away from this purple kick, really I am!).
In terms of rabbits, this one is different. The Royal Rabbit could be seen as a sort of “back to basics” rabbit. It’s rather much smaller than some (especially compared to giants like the Passion Wave) and measures in at “only” 6″, 4.5″ of which are insertable. With a diameter that’s only slightly above 1″, it could very well be a newbie toy. It also only has one function. No beads or rotation here. The Royal Rabbit only vibrates and only in one place: the head. Because there’s no bullet in the clitoral stimulator, the bunny is much smaller. Lastly, the Royal Rabbit is not controlled by a bulky battery pack/control setup at the bottom of the toy but has a wired remote, the first I’ve tried on a rabbit.
What the Royal Rabbit lacks in size, it more than makes up for in texture and shape. The pthalates free, TPR silicone is ribbed on the shaft, to add an extra bit of sensation to your play. Because of the increased friction, using a bit of water based lube is a good idea. The enlarged head is also decorated with bumps and whirls which, I admit, I didn’t feel all that much. However, it’s shaped worked very well for mild G-spot stimulation, which I usually don’t get from rabbits. The head is much firmer than the shaft (which can be bent to about a 90 degree angle) or the bunny’s ears (but his body is about the same firmness of the head). Plus, I never had to deal with any painful cervix bumping. This vibrator was definitely a little easier to manuever because of it’s shorter length.
The remote control also aided in maneuverability. Because of my short arms, I have trouble grasping uber bulky vibes that extend what feels like 3 feet from my vagina. This usually results in the vibe hitting the back wall of my pussy rather than the front/G-spot. This definitely wasn’t an issue here and being able to see the control in my hand took out all the guesswork. The control is very easy to use as well. It has only two button: an On/Off button and a button which cycles through the settings. A lot of multispeed/setting vibes do not have a button for an “easy” off so I also appreciated that. Seeing as this toy is supposedly waterproof, the battery cap does fit snugly and the wise is firmly attached with a little protective cap over it.
Function-wise, this vibrator has a few options. The vibration start steady and there is a low, medium and high. Next is a setting called rollercoaster, a fast pulsation which increases in speed/frequency then repeats. This is followed by a slower, steady pulsation, then a medium paced pulsation. The seventh and final mode is a sort of “dot dot dot dash” or three quick pulsations followed by a lingering one, which repeats. For 2AA batteries, the amount of power is what I would consider satisfactory. I did find the steady vibrations to be rather lackluster as that isn’t exactly what does it for me internally. The pulsations were more enjoyable, though.
Unfortunately, since the vibration is focused as the tip of this toy, it wasn’t to be felt near the clit at all. Even if I’m just holding the Royal Rabbit in my hand, I can barely feel vibrations in the bunnies ears but once inserted, there’s nothing to be felt at all. I wonder if it would have made more sense or center the vibrations in the middle of the shaft or even in the clit stimulator because I think the rounded head would still be pleasurable on the G-spot. Some people find that multiple functions of some rabbit vibes are distracting so they might enjoy the Royal Rabbit more than I did. Sadly, it offered no clit stimulation at all and, considering as I am clitoral orgasm kind of gal, it was disappointing.
Because of the textures I previously mentioned, one might want to take special care when washing the Royal Rabbit. Soap and water or toy cleaner (unfortunately, TPR silicone cannot be sterilized) will work just fine but take your time, perhaps even use a Q-tip in the ridges and whorls. I ran my toy under running water when cleaning and it was fine but I did try to stay away from where the wire protrudes from the vibrator itself as it doesn’t have a nice protective cap n that end, like the battery pack does. I might try this in the shower but would advise against full submersion, just in case.
I was not personally impressed with the Royal Rabbit. It didn’t fit my needs but someone who can achieve vaginal/G-spot orgasms more easily than I can or who doesn’t mind pairing this with a clitoral vibe might enjoy it better. I do think that this vibrator is about the same quality of the other toys in Sue Johanson’s line; it’s a step up from most Cal Exotic toys but we’re not talking Fun Factory or anything here. As it is, I don’t have any qualms using the toy and it seems decent quality, except for where the wire meets the vibrator. I simply need more than decent to blow my mind.
Tantus Delta
Tantus no longer makes this stimulator.
I’m going to take a reprieve from my normal review style with this one. I hope you enjoy.
The Description: The Delta by Tantus is a dual stimulator which can be used by either sex for anal and perineum stimulation or by women for vaginal and clitoral or vaginal and perineum stimulation. It’s flared based makes it perfect for harness use while the grooves on the base make wielding this dildo a cinch. A hole in the bottom can be used with Tantus’ suction cup or the included bullet.
The Specs: Delta is a gorgeous, shiny purple and is quite soft and flexible – unlike the other Tantus toy I tried.. It’s also rather small; the larger, insertable finger is only 3″ long and about the thickness of my thumb while the smaller thumb-like protrusion is 3/4″ long. The base is roughly a rounded triangle and measures about 3″ at the longest point and 2″ at the shortest. The included bullet runs on several watch batteries and has only a single speed.
The Good: Like all Tantus sex toys, Delta is pure, nonporous, sterilizable silicone which makes it healthy and body safe (this means only water-based lube). The small and tapered finger will make insertion possible, even easy, for the freshest of beginners. The grooves on the base work wonderfully for grasping and maneuvering the Delta.
The Bad: The flexible silicone does not provide the firm G-spot pressure many women desire nor does it give a filling feeling. The clitoral stimulator is extremely short and just missed mine. I find it difficult to believe this could be used for double penetration. I also suspect the size and softness mgiht make this a little difficult to control in a harness. The included bullet is rather weak and will be difficult to remove even if you lube it up before insertion.
The Suggestions: I don’t think Tantus’ usual dildo + a bullet formula works well for this style of toy, even if the silicone were larger and more firm in places. Perhaps this would be better as simply a dildo like the Little Su or a Jollies Dildo but I think that would involve redesigning the entire toy.
The Bottom Line I knew the small size and soft silicone of this toy would not be enough to get me off almost immediately after inserting it. I get the feeling it work would better as a first time anal toy because it’s not intimidating in the least. Even if I were a beginner, it wouldn’t suit my needs, however.
Delta seems like it would be much better as an anal toy than a vaginal one, however.
Icegasm Kit
$24.96
from Store.OfSexAndLove.com
Temperature play is an easy and safe way to add a little excitement to the bedroom. I love the feel of a cool dildo upon first penetration and also enjoyed some frozen lube cubes I had the opportunity to try. Oddly enough, I’m almost adverse to heating products, except for use in massage, and have no interest in them whatsoever. On the other hand, I jumped at the opportunity to try an ice-based sex toy (and I hear BSwish has something on the horizon, too!).
Straight from the package, Icegasm is perhaps too like Tupperware with its brightly coloured ice tray and pocket rocket style vibrator. Part of me want to cringe as the various coloured caps over the tray and part of me finds it ingenious because it would absolutely not look out of place in the freezer. I could even say it’s a tray for water bottle ice cubes. On the other hand, nothing about this set is sophisticated or appeals to my sense of aesthetic.
Regardless, Icegasm is unique. It comes packaged in a clear plastic bag with instructions you or I could have printed and tied with ribbon. It has a very DIY feel and I’m not sure how I feel about that. The presentation was slightly impaired by the fact that the vibrator had fallen out and was floating loosely in the box.
The ice tray has 4 tubular slots to produce tubular ice cubes which can be attached (1 at a time) to a pocket rocket style vibrator. This vibrator is pretty typical, if not a little outlandishly coloured, save for the tip which is a plastic dome (as opposed to the 3 “prong” style of many pocket rockets). Beneath the dome is a nut, the center of which lines up with a hole in the center of the dome. Any appropriately threaded object can be screwed into the top of this vibrator. Otherwise, it is one speed, powered by a single AA battery and relatively mild in terms of vibration. I also don’t think it’s waterproof.
If it the caps which prove appropriate. These slightly dome-like pieces of plastic sit atop the molds (they don’t seem to snap on so expect them to be loose). Through a hole in the center of the caps are plastic “sticks”, like a screw without a head. These sticks protrude from either side. After freezing for 3 – 5 hours, with the caps placed on the molds, the ice has frozen securely around the plastic. (Your ice cubes are ready to use after running under hot water or letting thaw for 5 – 10 minutes.) The other end of the stick is screwed into the vibrator by grasping the cap. The overall tool looks something like a wand or sword.
When it comes to transmitting vibrations, ice does not seem to be the best material because it is so dense. I could feel it but pressing it against myself definitely muted the sensation. Nevertheless, the cold was intense. Almost too intense, even for me. I think a lot of people fear cold and, if you’re really not into it, this is definitely not for you, but they forget that our bodies are more sensitive when we’re cold. When you have goosebumps, sensations are that much more intense, right? Unfortunately, I found the Icegasm too cold for insertion but external play was more comfortable. The chill definitely made me more sensitive and I remained so for quite some time.
On a note of safety, I know you’re not supposed to apply ice directly to skin or for more than 15 minutes in regards to pain so I would also not use this for a prolonged amount of time. However, there is no safety note on the instructions.
One thing I noticed is that I had so much fun playing with it in my hands, before on my genitals, that it was already quite melty. The drips of the cold water were more shocking than the actual cold solidity. With the ice end on top, the cat actually serves to “catch” the drips and can be dumped out. Of course, the melting makes is a wet activity so a towel or Liberator Throw or something would be appropriate.
Next time, I would also alternate with something room temperature or warm just to break up the intensity. So perhaps a glass dildo dipped in warm water or even warm breath (if only I had that right now!) would make it even more interesting and possibly make it more comfortable for longer play.
Ultimately, I didn’t experience any sort of Icegasm. I had fun with a novel idea. I would like to play with it again and add some heat. I think the properties of vibration were overstated; a pocket rocket really doesn’t give you great vibes but it didn’t detract from the overall play. Perhaps the concept of “ice dildos” would be something to explore more. Either way, I’m really excited to see what ice toys pop up next and while the Icegasm kit isn’t flashy or as pretty as some I think it’s mainly due to the concept of ice toys being in its infancy.
Good Vibrations Guide to the G-spot
$9.50
from Amazon
“Good things come in small packages”.
“There can be too much of a good thing”.
“It’s the little things that count”.
At first glance at The Good Vibrations Guide to the G-spot (here on out just known at The Guide, okay?), it’s hard not to wonder if the Good Vibes team, including author Cathy Winks (a former Good Vibes employee, reviewer, and guide author), religiously stuck to one of the above cliches. Otherwise, why would this book be so damned short? Indeed, measuring in at 63 pages, a full 10 of which include references, resources and notes, it almost feels erroneous to call this a book. Perhaps “extended pamphlet” would be more accurate? In truth, I believe that Good Vibes/Ms Winks tried to be open and honest about a subject which has not been thoroughly studied or even acknowledged by the scientific community and, by extension, most knowledge is anecdotal, regarding personal experience, rather than tried and true scientific fact. Even then, what exists is little and, by sticking to the few facts there are, Good Vibes was only able to produce a slim book. In some ways, I applaud this approach because The Guide is essentially hype-free and that is definitely one of its strong points. On the other hand, it quickly becomes evident that there just isn’t enough evidence to warrant the writing of this book or the purchase unless you really prefer a hard copy to keep in the nightstand or are otherwise completely unfamiliar with the G-spot.
So a brief rundown of this brief publication. The introduction sets the attitude for the entire book and that attitude is extremely reassuring and comforting. Cathy Winks tells the reader that, yes, some women experience pleasure from G-spot stimulation in these ways and the G-spot can sometimes be located and stimulated in these ways, every woman is different. Some women need different techniques, have different shapes or quite simply are not positively affected by G-spot stimulation. And it’s all okay. The intro also introduces us to the quotes from real women that are printed throughout the book, describing their personal experiences.
Just the Facts, Ma’am is the chapter which follows and basically gives the reader an anatomy lesson. Cathy talks us through the clitoris, anus, vagina, perineum, urethra and, of course, the urethral sponge AKA the G-spot. In fact, most references to the G-spot seem to use the term urethral sponge. I find this to be slightly misleading because The Guide does not take the time to differentiate between the different erogenous zones located around the urethra/sponge – IE the G and U-spots. Some confusing wording in The Guide seems to imply that the erogenous zone near the urethral opening, also known as the U-spot, is simply the “external” end of the G-spot. I find this to be erroneous but perhaps it is simply another poorly researched topic. Similarly, there is no mention of the Anterior Fornix Erogenous Zone/A-spot. Regardless, the author explains that all the hype about G-spot orgasms has done a disservice to clitoral orgasms and orgasms in general as women right them off as the “wrong” kind of orgasms. By the end of the chapter you feel that, whatever works for it, it’s all okay.
I’d like to take the time to note that this chapter includes a diagram which I found especially unhelpful. Perhaps it is the size limits or the black and white or simply the image is not true to proportion for simplicity’s sake but it is not my favourite. In particular, the pubic bone seems incredibly far from the vagina.
The next chapter is perplexing in that it is its own chapter at all. Ms Winks explains to the reader that there really is no new information about female sexuality or the female body. Nothing is being discovered, only rediscovered when society finally decides it is acceptable. Body part by body part, she outlines the discovery and exploration of body parts from Kinsey’s findings on the clitoris to Grafenerg’s studies on the urethra and naming of the G-spot to historical recollections of the female prostate and how views about female ejaculation have changed over the years. Because this chapter was generally split up by body part, I’m not sure why it couldn’t be merged with the first. Additionally, much of the information felt like repetition, already. Save for the interesting fact that, for over 2 thousand years, scientists believed conception was due to both male and female ejaculations, there wasn’t much information worth reading and certainly nothing really new to me.
Exploration focuses on finding your grove (if one is to be found) with the G-spot. It starts with an emphasis on communicating with your partner, describes general location and feel of the G-spot and, like many other resources, advises plenty of play to increase arousal beforehand. The typical “come hither” technique is discussed as well as suggestions of position for solo and partner exploration, including intercourse. However, most of the chapter seems to cover ejaculation: how to (don’t forget those kegels!), who can do it, what ejaculate is made of so on and so forth. I found it interesting that no studies have been done to determine if female ejaculate could carry STIs. Again, this chapter reflects the great amount of uncertainty in the world of female orgasm and ejaculation.
Tips, Toys and Techniques delves into the PC muscle and spends a page or three stressing – yet again – that all orgasms are good and whether or not you have one type, another or a blend of all types it’s all okay. The chapter is summed up with description and even names of toys which might help stimulate the area. Cindy tells us that some women like vibration on the G-spot and others not, because it is responsive to pressure and not touch – a useful (but not new) tip, indeed.
And then the book is done – save for notes, references, resources and a note about the author.
Say what? Yes, that’s it. Besides a few interesting historical points, a tip that cervical caps may block access to the G-spot and the bit about ejaculate and STIs, there was virtually no information in here that I did not already know (and even those tidbits were something I could likely learn about via the internet). If you’ve Googled the G-spot more than once or followed any discussions about G-spot orgasm, you probably already have all of this information. So, if you’re like me and have the information but haven’t had a lot of luck with G-spot exploration anyway, this is not your solution. However, if you’re an absolute newbie to the G-spot, require your information in hard copy or are informed but still incredibly unhappy about your progress with G-spot orgasms, this book might be useful to you. Even still, it’s easier and cheaper to Google it.
Best Lesbian Erotica 2009
$15.95
from Amazon
As my collection of erotic and “mature education” books grows, I’ve grown, too. I’ve become more aware of my preferences and, hopefully, this will help me determine what items are best for me to buy or review. Unfortunately, despite the fact that I know I like lesbian erotica, I was still disappointed in Best Lesbian Erotica 2009: because it’s not all encompassing lesbian erotica, it is narrowly focused butch/femme erotica.
Let me back up, though. This colourfully bound book called for me ever since I first laid eyes on it. It’s feminine and modern in purple and green (a la Joker, perhaps?) shades which don’t quite match the hair and fingernails of the scantily clad ladies on the cover but that’s okay because it’s still pretty. Really, the colour combination is one which I have always loved so it easily won me over.
It’s also the last edition Tristan Taormino will edit and begins with her foreword which both gives us a glimpse of what is to come in the book and what has come in her life because of her involvement with the series. It’s erotic in its own way, touching and appropriate. Following, is an introduction by Joan Larkin, the one who selected the stories (and as such, the object of my scorn). Following Tristan’s words, the introduction really pales in comparison.
The majority of this book is, of course, 2 dozen tales of girl on girl (and sometimes another girl) action brought to you by names lesser known and names instantly recognizable (such as Rachel Kramer Bussel). They are, undoubtedly, well written and edited; however, they do not necessarily provide “in your face” action. The settings and interactions are both profound and arousing: sometimes profound because they are arousing and sometimes the other way around. I particularly enjoyed, Shanna Germain’s “On Snow-White Wings”, a beach-side tale of how love can surprise a soul to the point of obscuring recognition.
However, the majority of these stories do little to veer from the theme of butch and femme interactions. Although some stories only implied as much, others were laden with stereotypes and pretenses to the point that I would read less than the first page of a story and skip past it thinking “Not another one”. You see, I don’t mind these stories. Many of them were extremely hot. I more than thoroughly enjoyed “Lipstick on Her Collar” by Sachhi Green and expect to enjoy it repeatedly in the future but it was the unique setting of the story: a butch woman serving in the Woman’s Army Corps during Vietnam, who enjoys a roll in the hay with a femme reporter, amidst the war around them (and perhaps, slightly because of it). No, I do not deny that these stories can be great.
I also cannot deny that several stories, in fact, fight those stereotypes. Teresa Noelle Roberts’ “Tough Enough to Wear a Dress” tell a story of a dyke man enough to shed the stereotypes and step out in a burgundy, velvet evening gown. As her femme counterpart explains, people will think she is
a dyke in a costume.. A fabulous, flattering costume–but one that enhances who you are instead of hiding it
What I argue is that they are not the entirety of the lesbian world, as this edition would have us believe. As I am not familiar with previous versions, I cannot say if it is simply this one which reflects upon lesbians so narrowly or if the whole series is at fault but there is a distinct lack of “vanilla lesbian” (I fretted long and hard about the most PC way to illustrate this concept, please forgive if it offends).
Newsflash!
Not all lesbians subscribe to those lifestyles. The lesbian population is not evenly divided in to butch or femme. Some are a little of both. Some are none. Both parties in a lesbian couple can wear lipstick. Silicone does not have to be an extension of ones self, it can simply be a sex toy. And those lesbians aren’t hiding, either. Neither are they any less significant part of the population. So why is it that this book seems to overlook them so?
It’s a shame because some of the specifics within these stories (S&M, shoe fetishes, stranger sex and escorts – just to name a few) are spectacular but I found it impossible to ignore the overwhelming presences of rigid butch/femme stereotypes. Maybe what I want would be considered boring; maybe I’m not “hardcore” enough to appreciate Best Lesbian Erotica 2009. Maybe I want a man’s lesbianism and need to look elsewhere. Maybe, just maybe, I’m right
Although it’s been years since I’ve had to go to school on a Monday morning, you’ll be happy to know I’ve been keeping up with my homework. 😉
For years, I have intended to pick up S&M 101 by Jay Wiseman because it has been unanimously recommended to me. S&M 101 is perhaps the quintessential BDSM book on the market and it is more than titled appropriately. From the moment I picked it up, I understood why. This is no flimsy volume but a nearly-400 page tome of information about BDSM and, although it contains much information, is it a quick read and I was halfway through it in a matter of days, simply reading through it as I waited for pages and programs to load in my computer. Furthermore, Mr Wiseman’s casual yet knowledgeable tone stresses safety and caution in all things risky (which BDSM is) without ever sounding condescending or holding the “holier than thou attitude” which runs rampant among many BDSM participants and can be a serious deterrent to struggling newcomers. It may not be the only resource in your collection but it’s a perfect first.
I suspect this will be a lengthy review, because it is a lengthy book. Although Mr. Wisemen does not discuss every single aspect of BDSM in minute detail, he covers a great many aspects and in a depth I appreciate. I like specific answers and SM101 provides me with those, specific answers about BSDM. While many of the ideas he presents are not new to me, he gives refreshing details. I’d like to take a moment to explain that, in his book, Jay uses SM as an umbrella term rather than BDSM and it seems this is simply due to the trends at the time when it was published (first edition in 1992 and this, the second edition, sometime between 1996 and 2000).
SM101 starts with a sort of introduction from Jay Wiseman about how he started writing this book as well as how he started in BDSM. It’s interesting but I found it to be long. Some of his personal experiences might have been more interesting at the end of the book; instead, they felt like a speed bump on my way to the “real” material. That material starts with a chapter on the Basic Basics which will outlines consent and safety measures – with a negotiation form – and Finding Partners which aids in finding partners through ads and club, by your sexual orientation and ends with advice for introducing BDSM to your existing relationship.
Next come several chapters on the more physical aspects of BDSM (Bondage, Flagellation, Clamps etc) as well as some thoughts on Lubricants. In these sections, the author discusses different BDSM gear, where to buy it, characteristics of quality gear and how to use it. You will not be an expert in physical BDSM but reading this book can definitely aid in your understanding of these tools. For instance, SM101 taught me that cheap handcuffs are often identical cuffs instead of mirror images and have a 3 link chain. I now know to keep an eye out for a quality pair of S&W cuffs, should I be in the market for them. Information as specific as this is available about gags, riding crops and rope, just to name a few.
Of particular note is the Bondage 1A which discusses only rope including qualities, care, and illustrations of knots and the best positions with which to use them to bind a person (genital bondage, anyone?). Although I am not a fan of rope, I found this chapter to be suggestively helpful without being commanding.
The physical chapters finish up with Erotic Torture in which Mr. Wiseman discusses various techniques of teasing and torturing a submissive from sensation play to sex toys to electricity to blades. Again, he reflects his beliefs about taking it slow and safe to minimize risk. The chapter is wrapped up with several masturbation techniques to use on a person.
The chapters following, including Humiliation, D/s Interactions, and SM Relationships focus on the emotional dynamics of BDSM. Jay outlines qualities desired in both players, including the four basic duties of a submissive (To serve needs, to obey orders, to accept domination, to please desires).He touches on the significance of the collar, basic positions for training and punishment. SM Relationships probes beyond the scene, to the lifestyle. The ideas in these chapters are rather traditional and rigid and certainly do reflect power exchange well but while it will work well for some, this information may not be as helpful to others.
The remaining chapters focus on safety and resources, in general. SM Organizations suggests ways to locate and advice for joining BDSM groups but will definitely be more helpful to those who live in areas which already have established communities. Jay does include suggestions for those wanting to start their own as well. A chapter on General Safety Considerations includes BDSM while pregnant and common emergencies during a scene (The 5 Fs: freakouts, falls, fainting, failure, and fire). SM and Safer sex focuses on reducing the risk of spreading STDs but focuses narrowly on AIDs. I suspect that a book written more recently would focus more on issues surrounding HPV (but they are both risks to be well aware of).
There is a chapter which outlines a typical scene between a Domme and male submissive. Following this is a chapter listing suggestions for your BDSM starter set which includes not only BDSM toys but everyday, household items which you can put to good use as well. SM Sayings is essentially a list of commandments about practicing. Related Practices includes activities/fetishes/lifestyles which tend to have overlap with BDSM like Age Play and Polyamory; Wisemen includes contact information for groups which specialize in these activities. Finding Help With Problems provides further resources for issues such as abuse and rape. Jay suggests even further reading in References and Resources, as well as some books which are not recommended.
Finally, the book wraps up with a glossary of terms used and 3 Appendices: Sample Event Rules which is self-explanatory, SM and the Internet and a sobering Monograph on Breath Control Play which, by no means, should be skipped because it is the last section of the book.
As you can see, this book does discuss many aspects of BDSM and in great detail – greater than I would be able to describe without making this review too unruly (although, I would be glad to answer specific questions). Wiseman does so in a no-nonsense manner, repeatedly stressing to take things slow and use safety measures. It’s also a very approachable manner and I chuckled a time or two at the book, like when he describes helping a Domme test eyebolts in a wall with a lacey pink pillow strapped to his head, lest one pop out and hit him (it did). It is a solid book.
But it is not without its flaws. As a critical person, I found the strange font face to be distracting until I become accustomed to it. I would absolutely reprint this book using a more standard font; it looks sloppy as-is. Furthermore, Wiseman includes sometimes-relevant quotes on pages. They are generally thoughts from players which reflect thoughts and attitudes about BDSM, sometimes quotes from the page. They do not always seem to be relevant to the content on the page (sometimes I can see how they’re supposed to relate but they fail to do so) and, quite frankly, sometimes they do not add to the book at all. I have also touched on how some of the advice about interactions and relationships is very traditional and rigid. For this reason, I found the chapters about physical BDSM more helpful but this is mostly due to personal preference.
Still, the most glaring flaw of SM101 is that it is dated. Extremely so. Wiseman lists contact information in several places but it is only ever addresses and phone numbers. Unfortunately, there is no way for the reader to know whether or not this information is up to date or even if these groups and people still exist. And who writes for information anymore, anyway? I have never once. Website URLS would be entirely more useful.
Additionally, he makes many mentions of newsgroups on Usenet and, well, this summer marks a decade I’ve been using the internet and I’ve probably joined less than a dozen newsgroups in that time, none of which I ever stuck around very long. I know it’s difficult to write about the internet as websites come and go and there’s so many it could easily be a book on its own but a mention of strong sites like FetLife, Alt.com or Bondage.com would offer more potential than newsgroups which only serve as a forum for spambots. You can basically skip the second Appendix because, even though it’s probably some of the “newer” information in the book, it’s still decrepit.
I wonder why SM101 is only the second edition when there were only a few short years since the first was published. Following that timeline, it could be on the 4th or 5th printing by now.
In the end, this book is best for uber newbies, folks who have no way to contract BDSM info or those who want to introduce the subject to their lovers. It could certainly be a book to study religiously before or even have open during your first few scenes and the ideas in it will set you up well. It will still be useful for those who have a more experience under the belt and anyone who is looking for a specific piece of information which to page through once more but will not be quite as useful. Despite what I see as a major flaw, I would still absolutely recommend it in yuor collection of sex toys and information.
A realistic introduction, indeed.
Smartballs
Smartballs have been reviewed a million times. Probably more. I can’t think of any toy which has been reviewed more. I actually cringe when I read another new review for them so I don’t want to inundate you with what you already know but I still wanted to try them for myself and PinkCherry provided them for me to do so.
In the event that you forgot or haven’t stumbled across one of those reviews, here’s a quick rundown: Elastomed (specially treated, non-porous elastomer), weighted, silicone retrieval cord, 0.3 lb, 4 1/2″ length, 4 1/2″ circumference, “ribbed”, dual-colour (with multiple colours available), vaginal exercisers with flexible connector which can be washed with soap/water or toy wash (but no boiling); made by Fun Factory (with Fun Factory’s standard packaging).
There are a couple things which are remarkable:
There are also a few things I experienced:
My personal preference for kegel balls is not Fun Factory’s Smartballs. They are certainly well made but my specific shape and the oblong balls do not mix very well. I think all of my issues would be solved by making the Smartballs round and while I know every woman is different, I think that one improvement would make them more enjoyable for the majority of women.
It is of significance that Fun Factory has released a sort of Smartballs 2.0 with their Teneo Duo Smartballs. These exercisers do lack the painful, pointy place as the way the retrieval cord is connected has changed. However, they still appear to be oblong.
