Here we are.. again

July 20th, 2009

1 year and 3 days ago I introduced myself to the world as Adriana Ravenlust. I had big plans, big ideas – like I always do. I don’t dream small. I dreamt of being the biggest and the best. I wanted to explore my sexuality, to let you journey with me. I wanted to talk about love more frankly than I have been able to for years. I wanted an identity through anonymity.

And I have achieved some of that. Yet, I cannot help but see how I fallen flat on my face as well. In so many ways I am not where I was. In so many ways, I am still.

I’ve traveled by plane from my home abroad to return to the states where I feel, perhaps even more-so, a stranger. And not even because I spent 2 years living across the world. I went from reviewing items and blogging about it in my spare time to nearly making it a career after saying good bye to my husband as he departed for his second deployment (he returns home in a few “short” weeks). I have spent those months in almost complete isolation, without a single friend to break the silence – except for you, dear reader, commenter, Tweeter, e-mailer. For a while, I felt a connection with a community in a way I had not connected for months, even years. I felt hopeful at the prospects. E-mails and comments and Tweets caused laughter, made it easier to survive the day.

Perhaps most surprising was the way that this blog actually helped to bring my husband and I closer together, maybe even lending a hand to mend a rift,the worrying about which would keep me awake at night.

I could not have expected those changes but even stranger, I could not have predicted what would stay the same.

Despite the fact that I wanted to reinvent myself in some ways, I have only succeeded in being me even more. I have resisted changed, disagreed with policies and argued vehemently over opinions, as I am wont to do. I am sure that I have made more than one enemy.

I have also been unable to prevent or stop feelings from bleeding over into this aspect of my life as well. Most importantly and relative to this blog is my dependence and desire in regards to recognition. While I enjoy reviewing and blogging and Tweeting more than I ever realized I would, I do not enjoy it nearly as much as I could on those days when I get lost in the shuffle. Perhaps it’s simply hard to stand out among the seemingly endless sea of sex toy reviewers. I am no Epiphora, no Sleeping Dreamer.

Maybe I have failed to cement myself as more than a sex toy reviewer as personalities such as Essin’ Em have done; although, I have tried and will likely continue to do so with articles, features and even a bit of erotica. It is entirely possible that no matter how I try, I just do not have what it takes, that I lack the edge to stand out in the crowd. It could be even more likely that in my zeal to be someone else, I forgot to be me and isn’t that, after all, the only absolutely unique thing I have to offer the world?

I probably just expect too much, in this, as I do all else, setting myself up for disappointment. It was folly to set my expectations so high (yet I did, do, will). I find it more appealing commiserate than to congratulate myself on this hallmark. I could be misguided, even in that.

Happy birthday, blog.


Drumroll Please!

April 29th, 2009

Id’ like to announce the winner of my Spring Break contest. Quite a few of you have been naughty in public places and have become precariously close to begin caught. Others would surely do so, should the opportunity arise and I certainly hope it does! I know there’s a certain fear of being caught which can give quite the adrenaline rush and your stories certain gave a different sort of rush. However, I could only choose one winner for the Hawaiian Vibrator and Pleasure Island game. The lucky winner is Milla with her story:

What I have always loved about spring break are the opportunities to orgasm and have sex outside, in the fresh air and the possibility of getting caught. One of my sexiest and most erotic spring break orgasms came while i was perched on a picnic table, along a trail, with my legs spread and my boyfriend’s face deeply indulging in my clitoris. I remember keeping a constant eye on the trail, hearing people coming closer, and orgasming so hard just moments before a family walked up . . . i can’t wait to do that again.

I would like to thank you all for participating and EdenFantasys for sponsoring! I hope I have more contests from time to time!



Wrapping Up!

April 21st, 2009

I will be wrapping up my Spring Contest by the end of this week. I meant to do so by Sunday but sort of, er, forgot. LOL So you have a few more days to broadcast it and enter, if you want. Remember, the winners will get a neat Hawaiian Vibe as well as an adult game!


Lovin’ Touchin’ Squeezin’

April 1st, 2009

There’s no relevance between this post’s title and its content. I simply love this song by Journey and am enjoying it at the moment. I think I might enjoy singing is karaoke style but will probably never lose my inhibitions enough to do so.

I want to apologize for my absence but hope you have all enjoyed my Totally Fuckable Tuesday posts. I plan to continue them fairly regularly (not yesterday as I was flying back home) as well as catch up on all my reviews.

I’m also holding a new contest with a Spring theme. Let me know your Spring break fantasy (or real life experience, if you have one!). The lucky winner will receive an adult game as well as a vibrator from EdenFantasys. Head over to the contest post to leave your comment.




January 18th, 2009

I am working on a few things here or there. I cleaned  up my link categories so the links page is quite a bit less redundant.

I will be working on adding a review queue somewhere to the site as well!


Sorry for the inconvenience!

January 10th, 2009

But everything should be back in working order now. If not, please let me know so I can fix it!

1 Comment


Excuse the Mess

December 26th, 2008

I am in the process of converting my comments to the threaded comments format which WordPress now allows.  I have to tweak the appearance of it so things might seem a little hinky. However, everything should work fine, even if it looks strange.