2014: The Best Of

December 29th, 2014

Another year. Another couple dozen reviews of sex toys. There were fewer this year than the last. This might be due to me having more sex. Or perhaps there were fewer toys that I really loved.

In fact, while populating this list, I worried I wouldn’t have enough best-ofs. I suppose that’s bound to happen, and I might accept the blame of trying out some toys that wouldn’t work well for me if I had looked past the shiny and read the small print. Oops.

But, there’s definitely some toys I would recommend, so here they are!


Svakom is an up-and-coming company. I had a hit-or-miss relationship with the toys they send to review, but Leslie is a self-heating vibrator with respectable power output.

Minna’s Limon took me quite by surprise, quickly becoming one of the most intuitve vibrators I’ve ever used.

I also quite like Ora 2, but it’s the stuff it does besides vibrating that does it for me.

ceramix 5 and 6

Ceramix 5 (right) left a surprising impression


2014 was light on dildos. I only tried a couple, and both of those were from Pipedream’s Ceramix line. Ultimately, I preferred #5!


Move over 50 Shades of Grey. Wrapped Around Your Finger is actually a book worth reading, and there are more in the series!

Sexual Non-Fiction

I’m technically a year behind and I didn’t even write a review for Best Sex Writing 2012 (I did write a review for the next year’s). But I think it might be the best in the series and you’re missing out if you don’t check it out.


The Bettie Page Spanking Paddle is manufacturer by Lovehoney and full of the details you’d want while offering a sexy spanking.


Designed Intimates sent me quite a lot of lingerie to review. I especially enjoyed the Charming chemise and thong.

Bath and Body Product

SheVibe let me try the Flirty Little Secret Pink Caviar Scrub With Pheromones. It’s slippery but smells great and works well. It’s been a nice addition to my shower routine!


Lovehoney is rocking 2014’s list. They also made the Deluxe Sex Toy Case, which is probably my all-time favorite option for sex toy storage!

As always, I recommend the best toys from years past. Check out my list of 5-star sex toys!

Don’t forget to let us know about what you loved in the comments.

Have a good new year. I plan to!


Minna Limon

June 16th, 2014

I don’t think I can write a glowing review for the Minna Limon without writing a scathing paragraph or two about the Minna Ola, which I reviewed over a year ago but I’m not quite sure I was able to express my distaste for this toy then. And it’s only grown since then.

Both the Limon and Ola use ‘touch sensitive’ controls. The harder you squeeze it, the stronger the vibes. In theory, I like this. In practice, it’s a very specific sort of control that’s different from any other toy and when done poorly, well, you have the Ola. The problem with the Ola would simply be solved if the part that you squeeze

  1. Wasn’t a horizontal
  2. Wasn’t “flat”

Because of this design, you have to awkwardly turn your and learn how to use a new toy. Minna should have gone ahead with a bulbous/round squeezy part to begin with. That’s exactly what they did with the tear-drop-esque Limon, and that’s why I love it.  I can comfortable grasp from just about any angle, so there’s no right way to hold the Limon. This makes the vibrator heads and tails more friendly than the first toy from Minna.

Now, within the round part you grasp is a flatter mechanism so you could maybe grab it at exactly the wrong angle and not be able to get good vibes out of it, but this seems pretty unlikely, and it’s much easier to adjust without messing up the point of contact. While the Ola had a specific shape for the G-spit — you’d ideally keep it oriented one way — Limon is, well, lemon shaped. The nodule at the top is kind of nipple-like, and there’s no right or wrong. You can also lie it against your vulva, clit, nipples or what-have-you so you get more pressure from the sides.

The silicone is plush with give, which makes it comfortable to hold, and I can certainly grind right against it without worrying about sharp corners or cutting myself with my sex toys, which I’ve been known to do in the past.

What I really really really fucking love about the Limon is that squeezing doesn’t even need hands. You could squeeze it in your elbow. Or between your partner’s body and your own. Or between your thighs for hands-free stimulation. I don’t think this was the company’s intent, but Minna Limon works extremely well when used like this. Perhaps you couldn’t make it work if your thigh gap is huge, but I can just lie there, position the Limon between my legs and squeeze my thighs about it. It actually reminds me a lot of the sort of thigh squeezing I would do during adolescence when aroused. There’s something reassuring about going back to old ways.

Like Minna’s Ola, Limon has a bit of a learning curve. There are essential 3 modes:

  • Free
  • Recording
  • Playback

Squeeze harder or play with squeezing and letting go to create a freeform masturbation jam session in the first setting. This is the one I use the most. As per usual, I squeezed the thing like I was The Mountain and it was Oberyn. But I love the option to squeeze and release and create unique pulsations. If you’re the type who maybe likes the unexpected, “recording” a setting like this might be up your alley. It’s more difficult to immitate escalation, but that’s fine by me.

I found your green lantern, Hal Jordan

I found your green lantern, Hal Jordan

With a single button, Limon is easy to use. Turn it on, cycle through the modes and turn it back off. When you turn it on “Minna” lights up beneath the plush silicone. This is cute but not functional.  The light also flashes pretty brightly during charging. I can’t charge this in my bedroom while I sleep. I’d go insane. But you could use it as a freakin’ nightlight.

I’ll be honest — Limon isn’t a surprising little power house.  It’s certainly stronger than some USb-powered toys, but it doesn’t come anywhere near some of the battery-powered toys I’ve used, either. And no one would make a comparison with the Hitachi. And the first time I used it, I was pretty impressed with the strength of the vibrations given the size. They’re rumbly-ish.

However, they vibrations seemed much weaker the second time around, like the Limon wasn’t quite holding charge right. I also had a weird issue where it wasn’t quite responding right. I’d had it on for some time (30 minutes?), and it was fine after I turned it off and back on, but it would be worth noting if others run into this. I could just have a slightly glitchy vibe, of course.

Limon has two magnetic points and comes with a little based to charge. It reminds me an awful lot of the Form 2. However, the magnets are pretty strong, helping to orient the toy and base and keep it in place as it charges. If your cats run over your nightstand, it will fall out of place but it’s not nearly as finicky as other magnetic chargers. Plus, you can use it for storage. I wouldn’t because my cats eat sex toys. There’s a tiny satin bag with it. Good enough for me.

So, there you have it. Yes, I’m a finicky bitch, but yes the Limon passes the test and even surpasses my expectations in surprising ways. Some people are going to need more strength, but the ingenuity of this toy makes up where vibrations lack for the Limon in my book.


2013 in Review

January 5th, 2014

This might be the third year in a row that I’ve posted a best of list. I figured I wouldn’t just do the wonderful toys but provide you with some of the strange and disappointing, too.  I’ll have to fudge the lines of “this year” a bit. I must have written last year’s a little early because there were two reviews in December 2012 that didn’t make it on the list. I waited until January for this post because I really wanted to get one last review in, so let’s start there.

D.1 stone dildo

D.1 stone dildo

I liked the design but expected the Ceramix Pleasure Pottery Dildo No. 4 to be a gimmick with its hollow inside for warm. But warming this dildo up far surpassed my expectations. It’s one of the few dildos that I’ve ever used twice, and I think that says a lot.

I’ve been pimping out the Jimmyjane Form 6 G3 all this year even though it was one of those reviews from late last year. The latest version if powerful, versatile and feels luxurious. It’s the first Jimmyjane vibe that I actually like. Maybe it won’t be the last. My review was on the EF, though, so I’ll probably get around to writing something up on OSAL for you to read.

The Delight by Fun Factory was actually my second. I swapped for one of the originals — the ones that came with a charging case — but never got around to using it. When I moved last year, I misplaced the cable. I wound up trying out the Delight for shape to see if I liked it, and I did like it so much that I purchased the new Click n Charge style. Not only do I love the magenta and black, but it fits my anatomy extremely well.

The Decor Stashe Pillow in Velvish Aubergine won’t get me off but it will hide everything that does and in style.

After using the D.1 stone dildo, I have to say that this blows every metal dildo I’ve ever used out of the water. I am so grateful to have the opportunity to use it and see myself using it frequently in the future.

Another new type of toy was the Stronic Eins Pulsator, which has made its way around many of these lists. It feels good. I just need to wash off all that lint, charge it and use it again (and again and again). This was also my first video review, you guys!

Finally, I cannot tell you how much I love my SHE AfterShave Oil. I could show you the nearly-empty bottle, though. I definitely need to purchase another one.

So, there’s the good.

How about the weird? Strange? Disappointing? Ridiculous?

  • Cat toy or vibrator?

    Cat toy or vibrator?

    The Sonic Revel Body. Cool tech, totally not going to get me off. And those attachments? WTF!

  • This costume from ILoveSexy just didn’t cut it. I mean, I kinda hate the cut.
  • The Revive Energy isn’t terrible but they needed to test the storage pouch, first. Now, mine looks like a sick leopard.
  • Ovo looked like a promising brand, but the kegel balls fucking hurt. The t1 didn’t hurt. It just sucked.
  • I got 2 Gigi 2s. I am giving both away. Meh.
  • I’m not sure that this UFO vibrator works for me.. or anyone.
  • The U Touch Down and U Touch Up just need.. to be better.
  • These “keyless cuffs” are so not practical.
  • This vibrator looks like a cat toy. Pretty sure the cat toy would get me off better.
  • Icicles 39 Handle Broken From Shaft


    Why the fuck are companies still making these pieces of shit?

  • I’d rather fuck the actual Flash, and he’s my least favorite of the Justice League.
  • But, hey, at least it’s better than vibrating vaginal balls.
  • Minna Ola is the most overrated, over-hyped, overpriced piece of junk I’ve used.. until the Revel Sonic.
  • Remember when that glass dildo broke before I even had a chance to use it?

1 Comment

Ceramix Pleasure Pottery Dildo No. 4

December 28th, 2013

This is an archived review. You can no longer purchase Ceramix toys.

Pleasure Pottery Dildo No. 4
I have to get this review written tonight because I will soon be writing my annual “Best of” list, and this dildo will absolutely be on it.

So, here’s the thing. I really like the look of the Ceramix line. It’s all bright colors and fun shapes. Kind of Dr. Seuss. A good friend said it reminded her of Wonderland. Either way, it’s got this whimsical air. Love it. Apparently I am not alone. My Pipedream rep said they were having trouble keeping these in stock. Fortunately, the good folk over at PinkCherry were able to send one over.

Now, the only other ceramic toy I’ve used was a vibrator, so it had a bit more wait than this dildo. The dildo is hollow and it just feels so light. It’s like the Krispy Kreme donut of dildos. Almost more air than anything else. Yes, it’s also delicious. I will get there.

There polka dots on the #4 are slightly raised. I can feel them with my hand. I don’t think this adds any vaginal sensation. It’s slick overall and, as you can see from the photos, there are definitely some light bulges.

So this is a hollowed out dildo and there’s a hole at the bottom that’s plugged with stopper. It’s removable so that you can put warm or cold water in it for temperature. At first, I thought this was a gimmick.

I was fucking wrong.

However, it is annoying. It’s in there really well. I couldn’t pry it out with my fingers or nails. I had to grab a pair of tweezers. It needs to be secure so that water doesn’t get all over your bed, but it’s so secure that you definitely need to plan on playtime with this dildo. It’s not a spur-of-the-moment thing.

So once I got it removed, I did will it with warm water. Of course, this adds to the weight a bit, but it’s nothing like metal. In fact, I rather disliked the weight of the Pure Wand. I also disliked how hot it got after usage. I generally prefer the feel of something cool against my labia, that warms up only slightly. I love glass.

But the way that the ceramic warms from the inside out with this method has won me over. The heat reminds me of sex with a real, live cock. Of course. the rigidity is all wrong, but is just feels awesome, not foreign. This alone made me really enjoy the feeling of this dildo. Instead of using it to squirt or thrust, I simply enjoyed the way it felt while inserted and using another vibe on my clit. I don’t think it would have mattered which vibrator I was using externally because cumming around this dildo — three times — felt amazing.

The size didn’t matter but for posterity, it has a slightly curved head and a base that makes it safe for anal. You can insert 6 inches, and this is a medium-size dildo with a maximum diameter of 1.5″.

It’s been a long time since I’ve fallen in love with a sex toy like this. I absolutely recommend that you try something in this line if not the Pleasure Pottery Dildo No. 4. There are vibrators and plugs, each with their own stunning design.


Decor Stashe Pillow in Velvish Aubergine

December 9th, 2013

I’ve had my eye on this pillow for quite a while. I really like Liberator’s Decor line, and I enjoy hiding toys around my house in pillows. The design of this is a far step up from the other hide-a-vibe pillow I have, too. I was hoping this would match my bedding, and unfortunately it doesn’t. However, purple is one of those colors that just doesn’t photograph easily, and this is a little more too blue-hued. My bedding looks reddish in comparison. This doesn’t mean I love the pillow any less or affect its use, of course. I just like things that are perfect.

The design of this pillow is nearly perfect, however. It’s a “hollowed” square pillow. It measures 16 inches by 16 inches, but the details make it seem a little bigger. One side is a soft velour material, while the other is shiny satin that complements it. Two of the side have triangular “wings” that fold over to either side. If you want to see both fabrics, you can. It shipped with the wings folded over to the velvet side, but I don’t find it to be as attractive. The wings secure with white ribbon, so you may want to spend some time tying it into a pretty bow.



When the wings are folded toward the satin side, however, you don’t have access to the zipper, which runs along one of the edges where there’s a wing. So if you’re looking for convenience, you’ll want to fold them backward. However, you can certainly untie the ribbon. The look is attractive overall.

I really like the idea of the “wings.” If you sew, you could replicate it, but this pillow was made very well. The stitching and zipper are quite secure.

When you unzip the pillow, there’s an opening for hiding your toys. The inside is lined with a nylon-like material that you can easily wipe down to clean. I prefer this over my other pillow. It just feels cleaner.

It’s definitely smaller on the inside — not like the TARDIS at all. However, you’re going to get a few items in here. PinkCherry’s product page shows a rabbit similar to one that I have.

I was able to stuff quite a few toys in here and still zip it:

That’s definitely a lot of toys; although, the pillow was pretty packed.

Of course, as a pillow, it won’t be very comfortable when it’s full of toys. However, when it’s empty of contains something softer, you can actually use it as a pillow comfortably enough. It’s not flat.

And as a place to hide your vibes, a pillow doesn’t make the most sense if people actually use it. However, it’ll work as long as your guests view the pillow as a decoration and not an actual pillow, you’re in the clear. Plus, this one matches other items in the Liberator decor line. There’s also a Flip Ramp available in the same color. However, the aubergine does not match the purple Liberator Throe. But those are really first world problems. Of course, the black is definitely easier to match, so you’ve got other color options if you like the pillow.

If you’re inspired by it, make your own.


D.1 Larvikite Stone Dildo

November 12th, 2013

You know how it takes you forever to write a post when you feel like a sex toy is just mediocre? Yea, that wasn’t the case with the D1 stone dildo. In fact, it’s the exact opposite. I liked it so much from the very beginning that I knew I wouldn’t be able to express it well enough.

It’s just that good.

It’s just that gorgeous, too. I took a photo almost immediately, which I posted to Twitter. There is this subtle blue texture to the stone that probably makes it the most attractive toy I’ve ever used. Sure, I’ve joked about keeping things on the mantle, but I mean it with this one.

You wanna come over and look at my dildo? Okay, but don’t touch because it’s mine.

The website describes it as “blue pearl,” but it’s almost got this smokey appearance. I’m sure that every dildo looks just a little bit different because of the material. Black Moonstone is something I’m sad not to have known before. The product description reads as follows:

a blue-gray hue with flecks of black and silvery, light-blue reflections that catch the light.

I kind of put off using this dildo for the first time because I was afraid it was going to be all form and no function. Yes, I liked the way it looked in my hands, but what if that’s all it was?

Fortunately, that’s not the case at all! In fact, I loved if. The heft and rigidity are perfect. It’s compact and not unwieldy. There’s a balance that makes it easy to use. G-spot aficionados will appreciate the gentle curve. It took literally zero effort to reach my G-spot. The pressure I was able to achieve made me squirt nearly instantly. I won’t promise thecar same to you but this is one effective dildo for me because I know that my G-spot likes pressure. The D1 didn’t disappoint.

You know another thing that I like? The packaging. Not because it’s all sort of fancy but because it’s a simply cardboard box that you can recycle. The focus is on the luxury toy, and that’s what I like. Seriously. Lelo needs to get on board with this. There’s supposed to be an included storage pouch, but I totally threw it away by accident if there is. Oops. I guess I was too busy eyeing up the stone.

Now, this dildo is also available in a bright pink silicone. However, the stone version costs less than $20 more, and I think that this is probably the better deal. If you don’t think you’ll like the weight, go ahead and opt for silicone, but I absolutely adore the stone dildo. And, let’s be honest, it’s far better looking.

While I haven’t handled the silicone version to compare, I feel at those the “creases” would feel sharper with that material. Stone is ungiving — and porous, yay! — but the ridges seem smoother than they would with silicone. I’ve used silicone with creases like that and they were painful.

I wasn’t worried about stone being too hard because I love glass. However, the one end definitely comes to more of a point, so you’ll want to be careful when inserting it. Unlike most glass dildos, the texture is smooth and slick all the way. It’s easy to insert with a little lube, and you can choose to use either end if you want. Size-wise, you’re looking at 8 inches — plenty to stimulate the G-spot and control the toy. However, I do find the squared end to be better for grasping. The pointed end might slip out of your hand if it’s covered in lube.

The other end is a bit more squared off, which might not be everyone’s cup of tea. The pointed end is also slightly narrower, and rigid materials like stone can often feel larger than they actually are. Of course, you hopefully know this and you want a toy like this one, which will last you forever. This toy falls to in the medium range. The description says the diameter is just under 1.5 inches, but my measurements come up a bit smaller than that. The squared end has a diameter of under 1.35 inches, but it’s not perfectly round. The pointed end is more like 1.20 inches.

Like glass, stone is cool to the touch. You may warm it with water, but it seems to stay cooler than metal, for example. I like this, but you may not be such a fan. Not every material it for every person.

Care-wise, you can wash it clean. The packaging claims it could break if dropped on the floor. I’d be extra careful with this beauty.

So where does this leave me in this review?

Would it be too cheesy for me to tell you to go get laid?

Yea, I’m going to do it anyway.

Get laid.



Dare to be Bare Shave Cream

August 20th, 2013

I probably won’t review a whole lot of shaving creams after this because I’ve tried so many of them. My experience rarely differs to the point where I really prefer one over the other. It usually comes down to a preference of scent and package, and the Dare to be Bare shave cream excels at both. The Skinny dip scent, which I enjoyed with other products, is just as enticing and sweet here. It’s not too strong, and it doesn’t stick with your body, so that could be a con if you’re looking for something that stays with you after you get out of the shower.

And the pump bottle is great. I much prefer pumps to tubes; however, I did have a little trouble getting to twist back into lock position for travel. I just left the pump unlocked and had no unfortunate accidents, so all was good. I like to use a fair amount of product, so I probably use two pumps per leg, but it’s generous. You could get away with less thanks to the thickness of this product. I haven’t especially noticed it rinsing away in the water, which is also convenient but not ground-breaking.

This shave cream does do one thing differently from other products however, and it was something that I noticed immediately. Normally, my legs feel incredibly itchy after I shave. It’s just the front of my shins from the knee down, but it’s almost always a constant. I remedy the itchy scratchies with lotion after I get out of the shower, and I forget all about the problem. For whatever reason, the dare to Be Bare shave cream does not leave me itchy, which is a slight advantage over other shaving products.

I’m not sure if this is because the ingredients differ, but the not-so-short list is as follows:

  • Aqua
  • Citramonium Chloride
  • Cetyl Alcoho
  • Stearyl Alcohol
  • Polyquaternium-7
  • Argania Spinosa (Argan) Oil
  • Cannibis-Sativa (Hemp Seed) Oil
  • Panthenol
  • Cyclomethicone
  • Dimethicone
  • Hexylaurate
  • Isopropyl Palmitate
  • Stearalkonium Chloride
  • PEG-75, Meadowfoam Oil
  • Citric Acid, Disodium EDTA
  • Phenoxyethanol
  • Hydrolized Wheat Protein
  • Hydrolized Wheat Starch
  • Methylchloroisothiazolinone
  • Methylisothiazolinone
  • Phthalate-Free Fragrance

I’m really not sure what the last one is supposed to mean, but the inclusion of silicones and several oils, including hemp seed, help to condition skin. Now, I can’t save I get the perfect irritation-free shave, but I’m not sure this is the fault of this product. I’ve been walking a lot this summer, and my thighs aren’t thin enough not to rub together. So I spray on some Aftershave oil before I go out, and this does several minimize irritation. I haven’t gotten any painful ingrowns or infections, though which is always nice.

I do like the way my legs feel after shaving with this cream. The shave is especially close on my calves and shins, and my skin always feels soft immediately after.

Right now, this is the second-cheapest of all the shaving creams I’ve tried from PinkCherry. System Jo was cheaper, but I really wasn’t impressed by the formula or scent. After having used so many shaving creams, I’d likely buy this one again just because the price point, but I also enjoy all the Skinny Dip scented products from Earthly Body. If you’re looking at your local sex toy shop, you’re probably not going to find this one,