What gives?

May 13th, 2016

I am just not having a good time with advertisers lately. There’s always the chance that someone will lowball you or string you along without providing you with whatever price or product was agreed upon. lots of people just flake out, and I’m not always the best at keeping up with email. (The lack of posts isn’t because I have half a dozen toys/books ready to write a review about or anything…) But I recently went through my inbox to catch up on messages about reviews and potential advertising¬†and thought I was doing a pretty good job as an adult.

This is where I realized, however, that the representative from Tacky Sex Toys had never actually come through with their side of the agreement in regards to my sex toy store profile/review. Since the communications had been positive, I figured it was an honest mistake. I, too, had not been on the ball. Except my return email bounced back and the site doesn’t even exist anymore? Yesterday, it was a directly, today’s it’s a 500 error.

I mean, the dine-and-dash doesn’t even make sense in this context because the post I put up simply links to nothing, so it’s not like they’re reaping the benefits.

But it gets more frustrating. Another representative from a different site wondered if I could naturally slip a link into an existing post. Listen, we all know how “natural” any sponsored content is most of the time. It was my bad for even accepting it after seeing the link text, which was as unnatural as it gets. But after slipping the link into the requested post, the rep decides this post isn’t suitable.

C’mon, now! I can’t do what you want and then have you back out. In the meantime, the link’s on my site while this person tries to figure out my crap. I don’t particularly like it. I haven’t been paid. I’m starting to realize while I let all those emails pile up to begin with. I’m wondering if this is just punishment for me agreeing to work with such shady people in the first place.

So it’s a bit my fault, sure, but i feel like the nature of the Internet means I deal with more flaky people and more fly-by-night companies than ever before, and I’m just kind of sick of it.


As soon as I posted it, someone else followed up that they couldn’t pay for a sponsored post. Um, what? You already agreed that was fine?! Ugh.


Want to Advertise on a Sex Toy Review Blog? Read This First

May 22nd, 2012

I am so incredibly grateful for the retailers, communities, video sites and other advertisers who have decided to purchase text or banner links on my website. It really helps pay the bills and let me have a few extra dollars of expendable cash. However, sometimes the process of working with an advertiser can be pretty frustrating and awkwardly drawn out. I know that my fellow bloggers feel the same, and sometimes this is only because advertisers may not be familiar with working with individual bloggers like myself. Sometimes your offer is just not worth my time and effort for the money, and I think that says a lot. While I am grateful for your money, my time is valuable to me, too.

If you’re thinking about buying advertising for me, it’ll go a lot more smoothly if you keep these things in mind.

Negotiating Prices

  • My rates are listed, under that pretty obvious banner on the sidebar. If you ask me for them, I will send you directly to that page. They’re flat rates, for the most part. A year is equal to 12 times the price per month for your location or type of link. If you sent me an email using the form on this page, then you already know the rates. Period.
  • We expect a little bit of negotiating, but don’t be rude. Our space and time is important, and you shouldn’t pit us against other bloggers. It’s, quite simply, disgusting.
  • When it comes to prices, know how much you want to spend before you contact us. If we absolutely can’t agree on a price, stop wasting our time and let us know (see above).


  • If you want us to trust you, use an actual company email address.
  • Be courteous in your messages and reply on time. We know that things come up, but everyone should act like a professional. If we have to send multiple emails, we’re going to be annoyed. You would be, too.
  • Do not tell us you’ll get back to us “within a day” and not come through with it. You look like someone who can’t do his job properly.
  • Don’t give us the runaround about how you have to contact so-and-so. Just do it and then get back to us with the pertinent information.

Provide Appropriate Content and Anchor Text

  • When it comes to reading, take the time to read our blogs. Sure, I’ve listed a few anchors that aren’t exactly sex toys, but there are some topics that just don’t make sense for me to be writing about or linking to on Of Sex and Love.
  • Consider something other than “sex toys” as the anchor text. I understand the SEO value; at least, I did before Google released Penguin. Now, more than ever, you want relevant links like your store or website name.


  • Pay in a timely manner, whether it’s a one-time payment or a recurring plan. We shouldn’t have to nag you like a child.
  • Bloggers don’t typically fill out W9s. Period. If you ask, you’ll only come off as a scam artist.
  • Don’t send payment for renewed advertising if we haven’t agreed on it.


  • Even if your “sex toys” link makes perfect sense on my blog, you might not get links or sales. This isn’t my fault. You’re not paying for a landing page, just a link.
  • On that note, just because a blogger offers a sidebar link, doesn’t mean he will do sponsored posts. I do, but I may be the exception and not the rule.
  • As a blogger, we’re happy to talk about advertising. If you’re a sex toy shop, you might wonder if we also want to review. Please ask us before sending us toys. We may not want to review for you. Advertising and reviewing are two separate business interactions.

I may not own The New York Times, but I obviously have something to offer, if you’re interested in advertising. Be kind, be polite and consider how you’d feel if you were in my shoes. A little courtesy always goes a long way.