Ultimate Guide to Prostate Pleasure

June 21st, 2013

Now, I have no prostate. I don’t even have a partner with one. What I do have is an interest in reading. It’s why I read all about the Multi-Orgasmic Man a while back. It’s also why I read a shitty little book — pun intended — called Tickle My Tush. It was intended to be an entry-level book about anal play. It didn’t go very deep. Okay, I’m done with the analogies. Now, I really am. When I walked way from that book, I was disappointed. It only briefly touched on any single concept, and it used these “cutesy” terms that made it oh so difficult for me to take it seriously. Ultimate Guide to Prostate Pleasure does not do these things. In short, it’s the book you want if want to explore anal play, if your partner does, or if you just want to know how it feels.

Doctor Charlie Glickman and co-author Aislinn Emirzian have set off on a journey to educate the masses, and I feel educated! The book doesn’t feel like a pamphlet that is better published online. It’s a complete 15 chapters that are chock full of information, and this guide to anal prostate pleasure is actually a pleasure to read. I found myself wanting to read the next chapter, so it didn’t take long for me to finish it at all.

Some of the chapters in Ultimate Guide to Prostate Pleasure are:

  • Frequently Asked Questions
  • Hygiene
  • Penetration 101
  • Searching for the Magic Button
  • Bringing Up the Topic
  • Massaging the Perineum
  • Anal Sex and Strap-on Fucking
  • Real Men Don’t
  • Possible Benefits of Prostate Health

In the beginning, I found myself merely browsing the content. I didn’t need to read it word for word because I’m not a newbie to sex. I don’t need convincing that prostate play is good. There’s nothing wrong if you do, but you can’t review sex toys and hang around this corner of the blogosphere for this many years without picking up a thing or two. Still, I stopped to read the firsthand accounts from the men that Dr. Glickman had interviewed. Thanks to their responses, he was able to pretty accurately describe not only how prostate stimulation feels but how it differs from person to person. I think this is an important distinction to make because not everyone will experience it in the same way or even enjoy it. This might be especially important for men to read because it lets them know that they’re not alone. These asides were intellectually interesting to me, but that was all. One thing I noticed was how there were many in the beginning of the book but very few toward the end. That did make Ultimate Guide to Prostate Pleasure seem a little unbalanced.

One of the things that I liked was how consistent the authors were about the fact that prostate stimulation varies on a case-by-case basis. It might make you cum, it may cause you to lose your erection for a while, it may not be the end-all and be-all the first time you try it. I especially liked the advice not to jump into toys the first couple times, and the authors are quick to point out that a person should experiment with his own prostate before introducing it to a partner.

Another thing that stood out is how trans friendly this book is. Dr Glickman takes time to discuss FTM individuals who still have a prostate that now acts something like a G-spot in a woman. In one chapter, he discusses talking to your doctor about prostate health issues, and he is gentle and supportive. If I were in that situation, I think I’d like to see Dr. Glickman. The same gentle support extends to the partners of people who are interested. Ultimate Guide to Prostate Pleasure assures the reader that prostate play is normal and that there might be some undue side effects, but you walk away feeling like you can handle them.

As far as technique goes, this is where Ultimate Guide to Prostate Pleasure was most helpful to me. There are chapters each on prostate massage, toys, the perineum and anal sex/strap-ons. My experience with prostate stimulation has been through the perineum, and the descriptions matched up quite well. In the toy section, the book discusses brands that are failiar to me like Nexus and Aneros. It also describes strap-ons, harnesses and harness-less strap-on dildos like the the Nexus and Feeldoe. The toy chapter even goes on to explain how urethral sounding can stimulate the prostate, which I didn’t know before. I guess you can teach an old dog new tricks.

If I wanted to explore internal prostate stimulation, I feel like I’ve not got enough information to locate it, try a few different methods and help my partner relax along the way. The book often suggests sliding along the prostate rather than poking into it, which I can appreciate because my G-spot prefers the same sensation.

Illustrations are scattered throughout the book where they’re helpful. I found them most beneficial in the chapters about toys and positions — where Glickman discusses using pillows or Liberator shapes to aid you. The illustrations have a hand-sketched appearance. They’re simple and easy to understand. For people who are less experienced, the good doctor and his co-author cannot recommend enough using lube and being in a state of arousal before you begin. Good advice for anyone.

A particular chapter that I found to be of note is “Real Men Don’t.” In it, the authors discuss some of the stigma around prostate play. In earlier chapters, they reassure the reader that strap-on sex is just your partner stimulating you so there’s no worry to fear that the act — or you — are gay. This chapter goes further to explain how society tends to lump a “real man” into a box and how this is harmful to people no matter where they fall on the gender spectrum. Men must do certain things to be considered real men, otherwise they’re too womanly, which is an insult to woman as well. Dr. Glickman explains why trying to fit into the box leads to emphasis on values over pleasure, and this just doesn’t cut it when it comes to prostate exploration. He recommends forgetting the box to enjoy it by yourself or with a partner.

If you’re still not convinced, the final two chapters suggest that prostate play can benefit prostate health and the common prostate conditions that exist. The book ends with several resource lists. You’ll find other books, places to buy toys and websites with additional information. However, I really don’t see what information you won’t be able to find in Ultimate Guide to Prostate Pleasure.

While the title might indicate that Ultimate Guide to Prostate Pleasure is for men, it would be a good resource for any man’s partner — gay or straight — trans-men or couples. If you only have one book about prostate play on your bookshelf, Ultimate Guide to Prostate Pleasure should be it. In fact, I’d go so far as to say that it’s the best book on anal play of any sort that I read simply by being inclusive, realistic and easy to digest.

3 Comments


Dancing Bear

June 10th, 2012


$24.95/month from Dancing Bear

I may be a sex toy reviewer, and I may have enjoyed some porn in my time, but I’m definitely not familiar with all the Internet has to offer. After all, if it exists, porn can be made of it, or so they say. This appears to be the case with the folks behind Dancing Bear. The website offers CFNM Movies, which stands for “clothed female, naked male” and the naked male is actually some guy with a stuffed bear head who visits bachelorette parties and the like. It’s really not for me, personally. I prefer more penetration and naked everyone.

So the front page gives you a pretty good idea of what’s going on. Crazy college girls and women enjoying a night on the town get to watch the Dancing Bear shake and strip. It doesn’t lead to PIV sex, as far as I saw, but there’s a lot of oral–by them, to him–and sometimes anal. It’s not necessarily ‘softcore’, but I can see why it would be right up someone’s alley.

Content aside, the website is pretty typical. The main domain has a splash page, featuring images from videos. The bear is ripped, yo. You click past that to see some sample videos and images but, of course, the real deal is the membership. An ugly, giant blue link tells you how to get your password. The same link allows you to log-in; although, you have to click yet another link to finally sign in. It’s a bit annoying.

A 2-Day trial costs just $1, which I think is a pretty fair price. If you don’t like it, you’re only out a buck. The monthly membership is more affordable, at $24.95, while a year subscription is the most wallet friendly at just under $10 per month.

Once you sign up and log in, you’re brought to a hub powered by BangBros, the folks behind this Party CFNM website. The member’s areas shows what other people are watching and, by default, the newest Dancing Bear vids. You can re-organize it, of course, so if you’d prefer to see the most liked videos from the past month, that’s possible. It’s all pretty standard and easy to use.

If you just subscribe to dancing bears, you’ll see links to other genres or porn and stars, which may not be part of your membership. This could potentially become confusing; however, clicking these links will bring you to a page to purchase that additional content.

When you find the movie that you want to watch, you have multiple options. SD or HD videos are available, depending upon your monitor and Internet connection. You can also download a trailer, which is a feature that I like, or browse by chapters to find the exact content that will get you off. Dancing Bear allows you to easily navigate between full movies, trailers and chapters, which is handy.

You’re able to download videos in multiple file types to save for later, or view the MP4s in your browser, which I had no trouble doing. Some videos had only WMP files, which prompted Chrome to allow them to run. I’m not sure what exactly is up with the inconsistency. However, I experienced no lag for the light or medium videos on my cable connection.

The HD movies had no lag, but they didn’t load fast enough for me to skip through them, which is to be expected. The HD isn’t actually pixel-perfect HD, in my opinion. It’s good quality but could be better.

All of the videos have an amateur feel to them. Many seem to come from cameras that are mounted on a wall as to be out of the way, and the lighting isn’t always the best, but it’s far better than some porn I’ve seen. There’s no plot, and a lot of yelling from the watchers, so you may not love this type of porn if you prefer sensuous music or to hear the performers moan. On the other hand, it’ll sort of sound like you’re watching a sports match and not some porn. If you do find one that you especially like, you can add it to your favorites with ease.

Of course, the women aren’t performers, but the Dancing Bear men are. You can sometimes tell, as the man moves the women out of the way for the better camera angle. There’s definitely an air of “I’m just getting paid for this”, sometimes. Everyone has fun, and there’s a lot of laughter, but it’s not as genuine as some people might like. For example, I didn’t see a single clit get rubbed. So sad.

I think the following image depicts this critique pretty well:

I did have some trouble viewing the screencaps and videos in Firefox and Internet Explorer. Some scripts didn’t work and IE didn’t want to play the MP4 videos, but that might simply be an issue with plug-ins on my end. Everything was smooth in Chrome. However, I noticed a significant number of broken images and videos when I tried to look at movies in chapter view, which was my favorite. This definitely disappoints. Depending upon how your browser handles broken images, this might simply seem like the page isn’t fully loaded.

Ultimately, Dancing Bear might be your cup of tea, and the website is easy enough to use. It has all the features of comparable sites. However, the inconsistent file types and broken videos and images really drag it down and make it seem unprofessional.

4 Comments


Pure-Joy Pleasure

June 3rd, 2012

Pure-Joy PleasureThis is an archived review. Joyful Pleasures no longer exists, and I have since found out they are not a reputable company.

If you’re looking to buy similar glass toys, check out Lilly’s post on glass safety first!

Remember when I wrote that glowing review for the 24K Double Pleasure dildo? Well, I do! It was a fun review, and the manufacturer liked it to, so a second Joyful Pleasures dildo was soon in my paws. I chose this because the design seemed unique. It features five bulbs, but they appear almost angular in photos. It was something different. In person, the texture isn’t quite was I expected, but it’s still neat. Each bulb has a ridge around it, but it’s not straight. It dips down in the back and comes back up to a point in the front. To better depict this, here’s Disney’s Bella in her golden ball down. It’s like the details on the skirt of the dress:

It’s hard to photograph. I tried myself, but glass is always a little tricky, in my opinion. Anyway, the bulbs gently curve, making this a good G-spot toy. The shaft ends with a flat base. This dildo will sit up straight on your table; although, there’s no suction cup, so it won’t stay that way. The base make it safe for anal play and also offers a handhold for vaginal insertion. The shaft isn’t centered on the base, though. In use, I found this didn’t impede holding it; although, it’ll feel slightly off center.

Aside from the slight ridges, all the glass is smooth, so you may not need a lot of lube. I didn’t use very much myself. The shape of the bulbs and ridges isn’t that large. The diameter is 1.5″ at the widest. Of course, the shaft tapers beneath the bulbs, and you can definitely feel them. This makes the Pure-Joy Pleasure a good option if you want an anal probe type toy. You can take as many bulbs as you want, or just stick to the first one as you work your way up to it. You’ll get about 6.5″ of total insertion length, if you decide to go all the way with this one.

I tried this dildo only vaginally, and I didn’t love it quite as much as my other Joyful Pleasures, too. It was easy to feel each bulb and the ridges. The rigidity allowed for pretty intense G-spot stimulation, but it just wasn’t what I love. I think I prefer one defined head and a straight or gently curving shaft to all the activity of the Pure-Joy Pleasure.

Really, it’s pretty enough that I could use it as a paperweight, although I wouldn’t… Maybe you would.

One thing I love about this is that it’s super easy to clean. The slickness of glass is my friend. However, it does become slippery when cleaning or coated with lube, so you’ll want to keep a steady grip on this. The base absolutely does help. I would love to see Joyful Pleasure offering some sort of storage option. Even a thin bag would be nice. I tossed out the box, because it’s a little bulky, and I just don’t have space for it. If you’re really worried about your toy, then you might keep the box. I don’t like to do that. I feel like it’s mostly a waste of space.

So, would I recommend the Pure-Joy Pleasure? Not after I learned that the company was simply shipping mass-produced, low-quality glass  to consumers like myself.

3 Comments


Tickle My Tush

January 20th, 2012

I’ve seen the books by Dr. Sadie before. They have cute names like “Ride ‘Em, Cowgirl” and “Tickle His Pickle.” Tickle My Tush is the latest book by Dr. Sadie, published by Tickle Kitty. It’s, as you can guess, all about anal play. What you might not guess is how small this book is! It’s just over 100 pages but the book is both short and narrow, so it’s physically smaller than other educational books. There’s also a lot of white space in the book itself, which is why I was able to read it in only two sittings.

The good news is, if you’re just starting out with anal play, then you won’t be intimidated by this book. Because I think this book is really best for those who are just exploring the territory and maybe even those who have tried but haven’t had a lot of success with it in the past, this isn’t a bad thing. I, personally, didn’t find this book to be eye-opening but I was able to compare it to my own experience and the experiences of those I know and can say the advice is pretty solid.

Dr Sadie splits the book up into chapters that begin by introducing anal play to the reader. In the first chapter, she explains why people enjoy it. The next address frequently asked questions and the third talks about anal safety. One thing I enjoyed is that she is always stressing lubing it up and communication with your partner, whether you’re on the giving or receiving end. The chapters continue on, and Dr Sadie talks about hygiene then introduces the anatomy of the ass in both men and women.

In the sixth chapter, the action finally begins as Sadie instructs the reader about anal massage. Fingerplay and oral follow before a chapter on penetration. Experienced users can tune right in to read about orgasm through anal play and Dr Sadie devotes an entire chapter to anal toys — and she stresses the necessity for flared bases at least three times. The segues into strap-on anal play, which Sadie assumes is between men and women only. She does a great job explaining why a woman might want to don a dong but the entire book has a hetero/monogamous slant. It doesn’t make it less useful for people in general; however, it would be more useful and welcoming with different language. After all, wouldn’t a gay man or a lesbian want to learn the basics of anal play, too?

Tickle My Tush wraps up with an entire chapter dedicated to positions, with illustrations and a final FAQ that addresses questions readers may have after reading the book. As I mentioned, it’s a quick read because each chapter is only a few pages long. There’s also a lot of white space that accommodates for “Sadie Sez” asides. These blurbs highlight or stress things that Sadie wants the reader to remember. For example, slower is better or not to try to emulate porn, where warm-up is done off-screen. Mostly, the blurbs repeat content on the page, however. The line breaks between paragraphs are also quite white and on some pages there are warnings within a “Caution” sign, creating more empty space. The list goes on but, essentially, this book is even shorter than it looks and it looks short.

As I mentioned, the advice is pretty solid. I love how Sadie focuses on hygiene issues that allow you to feel more comfortable as does her general tone. However, her tone is extremely conversational, sometimes bordering on silly. There’s an entire page dedicated to the words and terms she is going to use instead of the actual clinical or official words for anatomy or activities. For example, it’s not “sphincter” but “O-rings” and she uses “pleasure inch” instead of “anal canal”. Dr Sadie reasons that some of these words sound unpleasant and, therefore, we should use friendlier terms, instead. I don’t necessarily mind “color” as slang for poop and terms like “rimming” and “licking” are readily accepted; however, if you can’t say “rectum” without giggling, maybe you shouldn’t be reading (or writing) this book.

There’s also a lot of conversational speaking to the reader and this sometimes feels as though they’re trying to make a book out of information that would only really fill a pamphlet. Similarly, the pictures feel a little amateur at times; however, they’re helpful in the positions chapter and I find the position suggestions to be creative and useful. Sometimes suggested positions come off as both unrealistic and uncomfortable. Dr Sadie also recommends which of these positions is better for persons of different heights and weights.

My last complaint is that Tickle My Tush doesn’t address material safety in terms of toys for anal sex. She says that no toy, finger or cock should enter the mouth or vagina after anal play and also recommends ways to keep juices/lube from finding its way into the vagina. Still, the book could do more with address porosity and using either condoms and toy covers for anal play. I’d really like to see Dr Sadie talk about how only non-porous toys are actually safe between holes because jelly and the like can harbor bacteria even after it’s been washed with soap and water. Silicone, glass and metal, at least, can be more thoroughly sterilized but I wouldn’t even use a non-porous material without bleaching or boiling first.

Although Tickle My Tush isn’t without its flaws, its approachable and I think many people who are uncomfortable or only just warming up to the idea of anal sex will find it useful. It could perhaps be read by couples who are venturing into new territory together but many experienced toy and anal players may want to skip this one.

 

3 Comments


Nexus G-Play Trio

June 20th, 2010

The G-Play set from Nexus is a great combination of silicone P- or G-spot stimulators. Ranging in size, these silicone vibrators are suitable for anal beginners as well as more experience aficionados. Like most Nexus products, the G-play set can also be used vaginally.

This isn’t my first experience with a Nexus product. There was Chloe, which bombed horribly, and the G-Rider, a similarly crafted vibrator. I wasn’t in love with that piece because I was looking for a vaginal/G-spot toy and it may have been a better anal fit. My expectations with the G-play trio were a bit more on target.

The first thing I noticed about this set is the little “touch me” circle of silicone on the box. I’ve seen that on a lot of cyberskin pussies and similar toys but never for silicone. It’s a great idea and really makes me impress with the amount of detail Nexus puts into their toys.

The 3 pieces in the set are obviously graduated in size. The smallest vibrator (light purple), which is only available in this set, is only a little larger than a pinky finger at 2.72″ long and .23″ wide. It’s unassuming, even if you’re a nervous beginner. I’m not exactly a beginner but my forays into anal play have been few and far between these recent years.

The medium sized (red) piece is about twice the size at 3.32″ in length and a diameter of .43″. The large piece tops off the set with a length of 3.64″ and a diameter of .51″. Note that these pieces are more ovular than they are round so while the largest vibe may look as “wide” as a penis, it’s not as girthy as one.

Each of these vibrstors is powered by a single battery–which Nexus includes. G-play small requires one AAAA while the medium and large use AAAs. Don’t expect too much from the vibrations, however. The small and medium G-plays are single speed, continuous vibrations of the buzzy sort while the large has 5 settings. The vibrators are easy enough to work, with a single push button. It’s mostly flush with the base, though, so it could become a little hard to find with lube in the picture.

And you should probably use a quality water-based lube because the anus is not self-lubricating. The velvety silicone doesn’t offer an extreme amount of drag but it’s not quite as slick as smooth plastic, either. Nexus designed the G-Play trio with a flat, narrow base. It’s not like most anal plugs that flare out, but the base is larger than the insertable portion, making them safe for anal play.

I appreciate that the bases tend to be long but narrow. I’ve had issues with plugs and large bases because the base struggles to be in the same place that the rest of my ass is in.

When inserting any of the G-play vibes, you may not be able to go directly in because the shaft doesn’t follow a straight path like your typical plug. In addition to this, I know some females prefer to point angled head on anal toys toward the back, instead of the front, for comfort reasons. Guys, of course, can take advantage of this for P-spot stimulation.

I had my husband insert the smaller G-Play because, and I’ll be honest here, my GI tract sucks. It went in easily enough, despite the rigidity and curved head; it also came out quite easily with the long, narrow base and didn’t leave any discomfort. Use was easy–he just pressed a button. Still, it wasn’t ideal. The shaft isn’t much wider than the neck so the small G-play kept wanting to slip out. During vaginal intercourse, he had to hold it in to keep it in place. While I suspect this would be less of an issue with the larger vibes, the shapes are very similar and proportionate. Don’t expect any G-play to stay in while doing jumping jacks.

Also, the vibrations weren’t impressive. When he was thrusting, I couldn’t feel them at all. I wasn’t sure what to expect from my first vibrating anal toy and I’m still not sure if I like anal vibrations but I’m definitely sure AAAA batteries will not cut it!

As I mentioned, these can be used vaginally. I opted to try the middle size and wasn’t overly impressed. The shaft manager to find my shallow G-spot but the rigid, hooked head was busy poking other parts of my vagina. It’s shape isn’t really friendly toward my anatomy and I didn’t try the large G-Play because I know it will only be pokier.

I discovered something interesting about this set, as well. The vibration portion is actually a thin, plastic shaft that connects to a wider base. The silicone sleeves on each G-Play can be pulled off of these bases and bleached or boiled to sanitize and wipe down the plastic with alcohol as well. This is kinda of cool because, while the G-Rider is silicone, I don’t feel like it’s as safe to share as this set is.

I’m a tired girl so I’ll end this hear. If I forget anything, leave me a comment and I’ll reply as soon as possible!

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Kama diva Small Bubble Plug

March 9th, 2009

Kama Diva Small Bubble Plug

While the Kama diva Small Bubble Plug  is no longer available, you might try the Tantus Perfect Plug, Fun Factory B-balls, or the FemmeFunn plug if you want a toy with a similar bulbous shape.

The Kama Diva Small Bubble Plug is a cute little anal plug and its small size (Kama Diva offers larger plugs in the same line as well) was appealing. I thought I could take something larger than my first plug but didn’t want to go too large. The swirled pink and white are very feminine and pretty while the hard, urethane material of this plug provides little resistance upon insertion. With its tapered head which flares out to a rounded “bubble” and wide base, I thought this would provide interesting sensations without having to worry about it going where I didn’t want it.

Don Wands provides a fluffy, pillow sac with the Kama Diva Small Bubble Plug so that’s just one less thing to worry about. Should I accidentally drop this toy it will be safe, as long as it’s in its sack. I’m not exactly sure what would happen if I dropped this as my understanding of urethane is a little weak. I know it’s similar to hard plastic and almost looks like opaque glass. In fact, I thought it was glass at first. The urethane also had a slightly scent when I first opened the toy. It was rather unpleasant but quickly washed away. I don’t know if this toy can be sterilized with an alcohol solution but I’ve cleaned it with soap and water and it can easily be dried without worry of the Kama Diva Small Bubble Plug picking up lint.

Although this is not a huge plug, the rigid material may make it feel larger than anal plugs made of more giving materials like silicone or jelly. It measures at a length of 4 1/4″, 4″ of which are insertable and at its widest point, the Kama Diva Small Bubble Plug has a 4″ circumference. The base is also listed as “oversized.”

Unfortunately, so is my ass. LOL And this is where the issue came in. I was able to easily insert the first tapered part of this anal plug easily. In fact, I probably used a little too much lube and it became too slippery and hard to work with. I used the sample packet of Wet Platinum which came with the plug and was disappointed at how thin it is. I also felt a bit of discomfort which I think is from the lube itself (I’ve had issues with Wet’s Platinum Silicone based lube in the past). I would recommend any thicker water or silicone based lube over Wet Platinum.

I rinsed off the Kama Dive Small Bubble Plug and tried again with just lube on myself and insertion went better. However, I ran into problems because both the large base and my butt were trying to take up the same room and I wasn’t able to insert the plug fully. Inserted just to the first indentation, this plug kept slipping out and it seemed like there was just no way for me to use it.

Unfortunately, I was just never able to get to the point where I could start playing with other toys, insertable or otherwise, and I can’t really judge how comfortable this would be. Judging from it’s material, I wouldn’t wear it for long amounts of time like you can with some silicone or jelly plugs because it’s not giving in the least.

Nevertheless, I think this is a decent plug. I think it’s just not the plug for me given my specific anatomy (AKA well endowed back end LOL). I think if the Kama Diva Small Bubble Plug had a much longer neck and/or a smaller base, I would have been able to use it fine. Although I can’t say for sure, I think the Kama Diva Teardrop Plug might have been a better choice because it has only one “bubble” and the neck seems longer. Sadly for me, both plugs I have tried have been a little uncomfortable or difficult to use because of the base so my anal play might have to venture in the direction of probes or beads in the future.

4 Comments


Pleasurists #11

January 6th, 2009

angel-schaudon-de
From Scaudon Photodesign

Pleasurists is your round-up of the adult product reviews that came out in the last seven days from bloggers all around the sex blogosphere. Did you miss Pleasurists #10? Read it all here. Do you have a review for Pleasurists #12? Submit it here before Sunday January 11th at 11:59pm PST. Please re-post this list on your own blog if listed.

Want to be part of the Best Sex Toy Reviewers List of 2008?

Want to win some free swag? All you’ve got to do is enter.

On to the reviews…

Vibrators

Dildos

Anal Toys

Toys for Boys

Sex Kits

Lube/Massage Oil/Bath Stuff

BDSM/Fetish

Adult Books/Games

Adult Movies/Porn

Toy Storage

Miscellaneous

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