Pleasurists #92

August 25th, 2010


Abandoned Nude 4 by tiago13pereira

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Editor’s Pick

  • Jackin’ Good Time by Sex Pistil

    • Trust me guys, once you go Jack Jelly, you will never want to go back. Its a non-oily, self warming lubricant, which feels like your very own precum. There are so many pros I don’t know where to start.

Editor
Scarlet Lotus St. Syr

Looking for sexy posts other than reviews?
e[lust] #18

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Categories: Pleasurists, internet

The Sexually Dominant Woman

February 10th, 2010

The Sexually Dominant Woman is a very basic guide to femdom by Lady Green, a pen name for Janet Hardy who has written and co-written several other BDSM books including The (New) Topping Book and The New Bottoming Book. Immediately, I was much more comfortable with Lady Green’s tone and approach; although, I found The Sexually Dominant Woman to be just a bit too basic.

Lady green uses a very friendly and approachable tone unlike the one used in The Mistress Manual. She does not appear to be preaching at you in role, which I appreciate. However, one of the downfalls of this tone is that Lady Green sometimes comes off as less professional than she could which can make the reader just whether or not we should be taking her advice. The large, un-standard font face used in the book also lends to this feel. I would prefer something that looks just a bit more “proper.” But this would mean The Sexually Dominant Woman would be much smaller in appearance. Indeed, much of the information has been covered on the internet in various communities and on many websites. It’s good to have all the information in one place but I think the Sexually Dominant Woman would almost be better as a PDF “book” than a printed book.

The Sexually Dominant Woman is subtitled as “A Workbook for Nervous Beginners” and much of it has a workbook feel. It could potentially be useful were it kept on hand during scenes (although, that could also detract from the scene itself). This guide is light enough reading that it could be used as suggested reading for partners, too, without overwhelming them.

This guide begins with a checklist to gauge a person’s interest in female domination and there are frequent black and white sketches included. Some of these illustrate tools or positions while others are just complimentary to the text. They are all amateur in composition and none of them are really appealing. This book would come off much classier with higher quality art.

What follows is a chapter defining sexual dominant in which Lady Green splits BDSM into several aspects including helplessness (bondage), roles and sensation. The next dedicates a chapter to each where she outlines tools, positions, tips and more. “Winding Down” discusses knowing when the session is/should be finished and she dedicates a few pages toward the feelings which may come after a scene and what they can mean. Through out the entire book, it feels as though the author is only suggesting things and there is a feeling that the reader can and should tailor the advice to be a better fit for her specific situation. Although The Sexually Dominant Female is intended for female dominants and male subs, there is a note in the beginning that recognizes that many women play with women and that most of the content can be altered for the purpose. I would have to agree that this book is more neutral toward the submissive’s gender because it does not play on the yin and yang of gendered Dominance and submission like the Mistress Manual. It also makes it that much more pleasant to read.

The chapters are all short, no more than a few pages each. As you can guess, The Sexually Dominant Woman does not go into extreme depth about any one topic but gives a brief and consistent introduction to each subject tackled within its pages. It is not a book I would solely rely on ever and I would encourage people to read other material along with The Sexually Dominant Woman. My suggestion? SM 101 is great but I will definitely pick up The New Topping Book after this. I especially suggest SM101 because it tackles many issues regarding safety and BDSM, an area which is a bit lacking in The Sexually Dominant Woman and novice players may not realize what is lacking. Although the chapter on Physical and Emotional Safety is one of the longest in the book, it’s still only a handful of pages long.

Where The Sexually Dominant Woman really stands out, in my opinion, is with the suggested “basic first session.” I have read several suggestions in several other books but none of them were ever appealing. Lady Green suggests a scene which has a dedicated beginning and end (and helps players get into and out of scene mode), which flows naturally and incorporates a variety of activities and tools (bondage, collars, clamps, blindfolds, flogging, etc) and has alternatives provided depending upon whether the reader wants to incorporate sex into the scene. Overall, this suggested scene is pretty much perfect for any BDSM newbie, with enough structure to keep it moving but not so restrictive that it feels silly. It is definitely a chapter I would recommend or reference in the future.

The Sexually Dominant Woman wraps up with “Some notes For Your Submissive” which can help a submissive understand how taxing a role can be a a dominant, especially a new dominant. This is followed by “Tips For Partner” finding which discusses perception and expectations that can aid in the search as well as a few suggestions of places to search. The advice is the sort of common knowledge that people can sometimes forget when setting off on a new adventure.

The appendix is the last chapter and Lady Green takes time to suggest further reading material, discuss kink aware professionals and warn about the internet. It’s a bit of a catch all which basically indicates that The Sexually Dominant Woman is not intended to be a stand alone source. As I finished the book, that is the same conclusion I reached. The Sexually Dominant Woman is not ground breaking and, to be honest, is probably old news to anyone who’s been on the internet a time or two. However, the approachable tone is refreshing for someone like myself, who has had issues with other BDSM books. If you happen by it, I would pick it up. Although, it seems like it may be going out of print so I’d probably looking for The New Topping Book instead.

Find bondage and fetish toys to go with this book at one of the biggest selections of sex toys online at SexToy.com

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Categories: Media, Reviews

Stockroom

The Mistress Manual

January 26th, 2010

The Mistress Manual, “the good girl’s guide to female dominance,” is a pretty iconic book when it comes to BDSM guides but it is not a general dominance/topping book and it will be most useful to a specific sort of demographic. If you’re curious if you fall into that demographic, ask yourself these questions:

  • Are my femininity and domination closely connected?
  • Have I already found or created a willing male submissive?
  • Does my idea of domination center around the house?
  • Am I looking for help developing my dominance style and, if so, do classic dominance archetypes (nursemaid, governess, queen, amazon, goddess) appeal to me?

If you answer to any of these questions is “No,” I would direct you in another direction. Perhaps the New Topping Book; although, I have not read it myself. If all your answers are “No,” I would not encourage you to open The Mistress Manual with a 10 foot pole because, while the advice given by Mistress Lorelei will probably work quite well for those whose styles of domination mesh with her views, the scope is limited enough that it will be extremely frustrating if not entirely futile for anyone else. Here’s why.

The keyword is female.

Mistress Lorelei, whom the reader learns is a professional writer from a blurb at the end of the book but whose expertise on the subject is never fully established, seems to see female dominance and male submission as a complimentary pair, sort of yin and yang-y. And I can dig that. It many ways, it makes sense and, thus, it’s pretty much the running theme of this guide.

In some ways, however, it doesn’t make quite so much sense. Although there is advice in The Mistress Manual which can be used by any creative person or couple, the unique dynamics of a lesbian power exchange relationship may not benefit quite as well from Lorelei’s words. I would also argue that she focused on the idea of “female dominance” a bit too much but I’ve never been much of a feminist. I don’t need to roar because I’m a woman and while being female can certainly add unique aspects to power, power itself is not hinged on my gender.

In fact, there are several reviews on Amazon which voice my critiques much more eloquently than I ever could:

Most of this book is tainted with this woman’s petty revenge fantasies. She can’t seem to seperate [sic] the idea of a well balanced BDSM relationship, founded on ideas such as trust and respect, from her indignacy [sic] at her perceived “second class citizen” status because she is a woman.

The Mistress Manual could have done much more to help craft or find a submissive.

While chapter 3 talks about finding or creating a submissive, it was sorely lacking. The information to determine if one’s partner is open to female dominance is based on many assumptions. For example, Lorelei suggests that positive reactions to nipple pinching, being told to perform oral sex or to woman-on-top sex are indicative of domination fantasies and they can be, in the right situation. On the other hand, those things are all pretty vanilla these days and I wouldn’t think someone is into BDSM simply for liking those things.

If your partner does happen to have fantasies of female domination that takes little to encourage, you probably won’t find this as problematic as I did. Furthermore, if you live in an area where it’s easy to find an already submissive partner, you’re set. Just don’t rely on The Mistress Manual to be much help if either of those speed bumps apply to you.

“Domestic Discipline”

Mistress Lorelei describes her brand of dominance as “Domestic Discipline.” While I’m no expert, she defines this term (and others) uniquely. I have only ever seen Domestic Discipline defined as a relationship between husband and wife where the husband is dominant. Female dominance does not fit that definition at all. Somehow, Lorelei has found a group of people who have altered the traditional definition and this can be misleading. It’s like she decided to say, for the purposes of her book, that “empty means full.”

Semantics aside, my domination tastes center around general BDSM not domesticity or discipline, exclusively. In the beginning of the book, Lorelei is quit to state the differences between her idea of domestic discipline and the BDSM/leather scene which did put me off for the rest of the book. However, if the idea of of domestic roles or discipline-dependent S&M is this thing, you will probably enjoy this book much more than I did.

She’s a stickler for archetypes.

Admittedly, I do not put much stock into the “archetypal” female dominance roles which she lists as nursemaid, governess, goddess, queen and amazon. Relying on established fantasies can certainly help the creative juices flow for planning a scene and help to develop a style of dominance if someone is not sure how to proceed but I find my tastes to be a bit more eclectic than these roles sometimes allow for. It goes without saying that all these fantasies closely tie femininity into dominance as well which makes them either a great fit or.. a sore fit. I do find the references to these roles throughout the book to be distracting.

If you still find yourself interested, he is a brief rundown of the Mistress Manual:

Separated into thee parts – Becoming a Mistress, the Mistress in Action and The Five Archetypal Fantasies – this book is well suited for absolute beginners or perhaps women who have struggled to get their BDSM fantasies off the ground but it does not offer the mental or emotional assistance that some people require. Furthermore, the chapters waver in depth, with Lorelei including much information about spanking inplements but never quite explaining how to bring out submission in a reluctant partner.

The chapters in the first section explain the appeal of female domination, how to get over hang ups about the idea, finding or creating a submissive male and balancing fantasy and reality. The chapters in the next section discuss establishing authority, planning a first scene, the art of discipline and “bondage, humiliation and other forms of control.” The Mistress Manual wraps up with a chapter each on what Lorelei calls the 5 Archetypal Fantasies of female domination – Nursemaid, Governess, Queen, Amazon and Goddess – with an introductory chapter about fulfilling fantasies of both the dominant and her male submissive.

There are some strengths to this book. An entire chapter is dedicated to “The Reluctant Mistress” to aid newbies who are uncomfortable with the idea of female domination. It outlines reasons that women shy away from domination such as guilt, repression or unwillingness. Additionally, Mistress Lorelei helpfully describes how language, props, costumes and acting can all aid in this endeavor. Some of these things I hadn’t given enough thought and I could see why this could be detrimental to my play. Plus, Mistress Lorelei knows her impact play props and even talks about sting versus thud as well as offering concrete information about methods of spanking. Furthermore, there is a list of ways to aid in “Combining Power and Pleasure” with tips on how language, position and other things can affect the perception of power. Lastly, the author does advise discussing thoroughly what all parties want out of domination (and the archetypes might help in determining and discussing this).

Yet I would be aware of the fact that The Mistress Manual is dated, like SM101. The author suggests finding potential partners in the meeting places of yesteryear (ads and clubs). I did not find the suggest first scene to be appealing. Rather, it was bland and didn’t flow in a way that I find to be natural or satisfying. This may only be personal preference, however.

Ultimately, The Mistress Manual is not the book for me and the points which I found helpful are few enough that I may remember them without ever needing to open it again. I would certainly steer someone toward other books (like SM101 or The New Topping Book) over The Mistress Manual. The pretentious and overly wordy style Lorelei used also detracted from my enjoyment. By the end, I was skimming the book if only because I could not longer force myself to read it word for word. In short, The Mistress Manual is a good book if you are like Mistress Lorelei but not as good if you are like me.

Find bondage and fetish toys to go with this book at one of the biggest selections of sex toys online at SexToy.com

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Categories: Reviews

Black Glove/Elegant Spanking

January 17th, 2010

One of the reviews for Amazon describe Black Glove/Elegant Spanking, a DVD containing two short films by Maria Beatty, as “like an artsy amateur porn video that the 2 girls should have kept private.” And I pretty much agree.

It’s not that the visuals aren’t stunning. Both pieces are done in black and white, with more than a subtle nod toward the silent film era (despite being released in 1995). The Elegant Spanking even features “title cards” showing dialoque between Mistress and slave. The filming is well done, if not simple, and it seems done a bit grainy to add personality. The Black Glove is especially heavy with shiny instruments and PVC clothing while garter belts can be seen in both. The image of pearls sliding between pussy lips in The Elegant Spanking is intriguing, if nothing else. Yet, the imagery is very specific, so specific that there can be very little middle ground with Black Glove/Elegant Spanking. Either you will love it or it will not be your thing. And it’s not mine.

I also can’t say that the acts aren’t realistic or intimate. Marie Beatty portrays a submissive in both films, expressing pain and pleasure well despite the fact that we can’t hear her voice or breath. In The Elegant Spanking, she lovingly partakes in watersports. It’s as though someone simply popped a camera into Beatty’s BDSM life and recorded these events. Believable and erotic (it’s hard to call anything with so much BDSM anything else), yes. But rising to any sort of climax (literally or figuratively) or otherwise following any sort of standard film time/plotline, no. We don’t know why anything is happening, just that it is, and it’s over without any real sense of resolution. Both movies are more like extended scenes than stand alone films and they move quite slowly. I’ll dare call it boring.

I would be lying if I said it wasn’t artistic. From imagery style, which I already discussed, to music/sound and the speed of progress, these films are both incredibly creative. Yet, that artistry can be difficult to understand of detract from the movie.

Such is the case with the music (by John Zorn) which generally reminds me of haunted house background music or the scores of 80s horror flicks. It suggests seriousness in a calm way, softly in the background. The over calmness perhaps negates any pique the films themselves have. In The Elegant Spanking, one can only hear the music and not any speaking; although, it’s obvious at several points that Maria Beatty is speaking. They flash title cards to suggest to the reader what she has said but it’s obvious that is not what she said (and I’m no lip reader!). In The Black Glove, we can hear some sounds from the scene itself – although no voices – which I prefer greatly. The sound of buckles and foot steps were appreciated. Yet, toward the second half of this scene, the background music/sound switches to something like burning or crackling. It’s much louder than the previous background music and I find it completely distracting.

And if kink is your thing, these films have plenty. The Elegant Spanking jumps into watersports pretty quickly. There is spanking, of course, as well as shoe/foot fetish. In fact, that plays an important role in both films. Too bad I hate feet. The Black Glove has lots of appropriate PVC; Maria Beatty is hog tied and a cane, a Wartenberg wheel, clamps, a knife and wax all make an appearance. Most of these implements are rubbed or run over Maria Beatty’s lingerie clad body, with focus on her ass and breasts.

Fans of bonus material will be disappointed. The DVD lists a catalog of other Beatty films and one can insert it into their computer to go to the website.. or just Google Bleu Productions. It’ll take less time.

So what I can say it this: While artistic, striking in imagery, BDSM oriented and incredibly intimate, it seems like these films would best be enjoyed by Beatty & Co themselves. The artistic eroticism is interesting and these films would probably lend themselves well to an intellectual discussion (perhaps of D/s dynamics) over tea and crumpets but their limited ability to arouse suggests that this film is simply art, not porn. I appreciate these pieces as works of art and I know that BDSM doesn’t have to include sex but porn probably should. Sometimes there is grey area between porn and art but the black and white films on this DVD suggest that is not a place Maria Beatty productions will ever be and that’s okay. I’m just not the sort of person who can appreciate these films. On the other hand, there were a couple scenes which would lend themselves beautifully to wall art (something which I can better intellectually appreciate). I would much rather have preferred a handful of stills which sum up the feeling of Black Glove/Elegant Spanking than actually view the DVD itself.

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Categories: Media, Reviews

Babeland

“Paint Brush” Whip

November 22nd, 2009

The Paint Brush Whip is a flogger-esque impact toy, the unique shape of which lends itself better to novel uses than demanding ones. Because the vinyl falls are sewn in two long rows so they land wider on the skin. It’s a unique sensation which is flogger-like, with a twist. This also means that the weight of this whip is distributed differently and it handles differently than a true flogger. I imagine that flogger elitists would be opposed to this because it does wield a bit sloppier than most floggers (not every fall hits the mark and there are always several which seem to have a mind of their own) but if you just want to try something new and don’t mind that this is more novelty than anything else, the Paint Brush Whip is fun.

Made of a a hard leather handle and vinyl falls, the Paint Brush Whip is heftier than most of the other impact toys I have tried, despite its relative short stature. It measures in at only 13″ in overall length, 5.5″ belonging to the falls – rounded strings of vinyl which are blunt cut at the ends – themselves. Of course, this means you must be relatively close to your target which is not necessarily a con, just something to be aware of. In fact, it could be a pro if space is limited.

While the individual strands have some elasticity, because of the material, there is much less as a whole. Combined with the short length, this toy isn’t the best if you want to be able to pull the falls back and let them snap forward. In my opinion, basic over or underhand throws are most efficient. The paint brush whip is easy enough to use with just a flick of the wrist. Of course, you can use heavier full armed throws if you so choose. Although heavier than other impact tools I’ve used, the Paint Brush Whip is still quite comfortable and easy to use. In fact, I think the weight of the falls makes it easier to throw and maximize sensation. The sensations fall in a light to medium range. They will sting, warm and redden the skin but they are not ferocious.

The vinyl falls were quite stinky, I might add. They don’t smell like pthalates but they definitely smell like something and the strong was smell. I can even still smell it despite the fact that I’m sick (but it has lessened since day one). It might be better to store this whip with a little space, not locked up tight with other toys which may take on the scent. Luckily, it can be hung with the provided loop, sewn into the handle, so it can be aired out easily while stored. The loop is too small to wear around the wrist, however. Also, it’s sewn in permanently and non removable. The loop is also where the tag was attached. It was the shape of a paint bucket with metallic purple paint “spilling” out and was quite pretty.

The leather of the handle is quite firm. Like the slapper I just reviewed, it’s two pieces sewn together near the edge. Unlike the slapper, however, the sewing is much messier. There are loose threads in a few places and more than one place where sewing errors are visible. In seems that, in these places, the sewing just backtracked and went through the holes one more. It’s definitely not as nice looking at the slapper.

The falls are attached through the widest edge (3″) – which gives this piece its paint brush appearance – and there is an additional row of stitching to secure them. For my purposes, I think the paint brush whip will hold up well but I wouldn’t expect it to last a life time. Where the falls are pressed between the layers of leather, the handle is thicker and it thins toward the opposite end. There does seem to be some sort of reinforcement between the layers in the narrow part (1 1/4″ wide) of the handle, which makes it the firmest part of this whip. The narrow part also has “Sportsheets” etched into it which actually looks pretty neat. Although the leather is fairly smooth, the handle widens just a bit at the end, which makes it more secure to hold.

Although I do not anticipate having to clean the Paint Brush Flogger much, I would simply wipe it down with a damp cloth and pat it dry.

Ultimately, I found the sensations of the Paint Brush Whip by Sportsheets to be unique. I enjoyed using it but recognize that it’s perhaps not the best example of a flogger overall, because of its unique design. If unique is your thing, give it a try but if you are one of the aforementioned flogger elitists, I might get something a bit more traditional.

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Categories: BDSM, Reviews

Fur 12″ Slapper

November 20th, 2009

To say I was excited when I first saw the 12″ Fur Slapper on EdenFantasys would be an understatement. In fact, all of the pieces in the line are so alluring. Never mind that my husband and I decided to go blue for all our BDSM purchases; I certainly didn’t when I requested this piece for review. Getting to know this slapper has been interesting. It’s generally well made with even and clean stitching, no obvious flaws and even a leather strap attached to the handle for hanging or wearing during use. The leather is stiff and reinforced with “spring steel” which makes the slapper feel more like a paddle but, at only 12″ in length, it’s unlike any true paddle I’ve ever seen (and easy to store).

With one side lined in purple fur, it doesn’t look intimidating in the least which made it appealing for me. It’s also aesthetically pleasing but, as others have mentioned, a wider range of fur colours would be great. Currently, we’ll be sticking with the furred side which does help to sooth the blows and reduces the possibility of marks or bruising (if that’s a concern). It still does pack a bit of a punch with harder blows. Compared the Kookie Riding Crop I recently reviewed, the pain is more diffuse and heavier. The fur also muffles the sound. It sounds something like clapping chalk board erasers together. Of course, you can deal pain-free taps instead of heavy handed strikes. Alternatively, the fur side can be used to soothe tender flesh, as a light rubdown tool or, the way I’ve used it most, to tickle. This makes it a pretty versatile tool and it allows to make every playtime with the Fur 12″ Slapper unique.

The fur is obviously the draw of this piece and it feels pretty nice on the skin. However, it is rather short and.. fake. It’s not really as silky as I was expecting; I guess I wanted something a bit more like my rabbit fur flogger but the fur on this slapper just feels not-real. Of course, fake fur can absolutely feel great. I’ve had some stuffed animals whose coats were quite luxurious and I think just making the fur a bit longer would make it that much more pleasurable. The fur on this tool is about 1/4″ long and can be fluffed up by running a hand against the ‘grain’ of the fur but there’s still not much there to be fluffed. Again, it’s not bad, just not as great as I expected.

If you are a fan of bigger pain, the smooth leather side may better suit your needs. Without the fur, the sensation is definitely more intense and there is quite a bit of sting. Thud lovers may be a bit disappointed but they would probably invest in a a different tool (a wood paddle, perhaps). There is some give in this slapper but the stiffness of the leather and steel combined with over 1/4″ thickness makes it firmer than I thought and firmer than more true slappers. It seems to be a bit of a hybrid piece. The bare side also is much louder, making a slapping sound when it meets flesh.

No matter the strength I choose to exert, wielding this slapper is quite easy. The handle is long enough that I can just wrap both of my fists around it, end to end. It’s thin enough that it’s easy to grip but tapers toward the end so you won’t lose it too easily. It feels like the fur end is heavier and gravity helps pull it down without using as much strength on my part. There’s a leather strap through a secure grommet in the end. I can see the usefulness of this for storage, if you have hooks (I don’t but maybe I should throw some command hooks up on the inside of the closet door) but I found it awkward during use. If I looped it around my wrist, it limited the mobility of my hand and I had to take the time to remove the loop. I’ll probably risk flinging the slapper across the room (a la Wii-mote) than have to continuously remove/replace it on my wrist.

Plus, its small sizes make it easy to store. Hell, I could just throw it between my mattress and box spring without a worry.

When it comes to construction, I was pretty impressed. As I mentioned, the stitching is done well. I cannot pinpoint any flaws and there are no loose threads like I could see on a similar piece I own. The two leather pieces are sewn snugly together and the edges are cut flat. The purple fur is about 5.5″ long and just meets the edge of the widest part (2″) of the slapper. It is sewn (and hardily) on 3 sides using the same thread which holds together the entire slapper. However, the fourth end (which is one of the shorter ends) is loose which could result in tearing if it gets caught on something. It probably won’t happen but it’s something that kind of bothers me and I’d at least like it glued down. Although I haven’t had the need to clean the Fur 12″ Slapper, I would probably it down with a damp cloth. Easy enough.

My complaints about the Fur 12″ Slapper are not major. The cord and fur issues really fall into the realm of personal preference. It’s well made, affordable and, although small, can be used for a variety of sensations. It would be well placed in anyone’s toy box.

product picture
Paddle by Spartacus
Material: Leather / Faux fur
Safety:
Rating:
Vroom:
Bee:
This product was provided free of charge to the reviewer.

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Categories: BDSM, Reviews

Babeland

Kookie Riding Crop

November 17th, 2009

Riding crops are sleek. I’ve never been an equestrian but so are horses. I suppose someone thought the same thing about humans to adapt the tool.. Or maybe not. Just a conjecture.

I do know a bit more about playing with riding cops after playing with my very first one, the Kookie Riding Crop from Babeland. I know that the Kookie Crop is made of a handle attached to a nylon-covered shaft which is then secure to a piece of folded-over leather to make the tongue. The handle is made of a firm plastic or silicone piece which is textured and has a lightly engraved diamond pattern which makes it easy to hold even under slipper circumstances. The braided cover of the rod is secure and neat and the leather of the tongue is thin, unfinished on the inside (although, I’m not sure why anyone would be feeling it other than for review purposes) and sewn in an arc around the shaft with contrasting thread. At its widest, it’s only 1.5″ wide and the thin “neck” of that piece is then further secured by a thin piece of string which is wrapped countless times around the tongue and shaft. It seems like the string was then treated with something to make it quite hard and firm. Overall, the quality is decent. For only, $18, this seem to be a good starter crop that will like a while, if not forever.

I was a bit surprised at the overall length of this crop, admittedly. I expected something a bit longer and a quick glance at a variety of crops shows that many are in the 24″-25″ range. However, the Kookie Crop is not far off at 18.5″ in length. I do think the slightly shorter shaft makes it a bit less flexible than other crops. I’m not positive because I’m quite the amateur in this; it just seems like a longer shaft would allow for a bit more flexibility but it could just seem that way. Either way, the tongue can be pulled back about 30 degrees – which seems to be a good amount of flexibility without becoming floppy – and then released to flick. That flick is definitely noticeable but, because of the length, this method seems to work better, the closer I am to the target and it certainly cannot be used too far away because the crop simply won’t reach.

Of course, I was surprised at other methods this toy can be used. The generic method is to simply flick a wrist at arm’s length but my pathetically weak wrists couldn’t deliver a blow nearly as powerful as using my whole arm. This was the method I had to use to get a good feel of the crop when using it on myself. I guess that’s good news for those solo BDSMers; you can easily bend yourself over and swing away. My experience was that swings focusing more on the leather-only part of the tongue were less intense than swings which involve the end of the shaft.

I was actually quite surprised at the range of sensation provided by the Kookie Riding Crop when used in the traditional manner. It can be used to simply tap, not cause any pain at all. Even my medium to strong strikes were bearable (at least on my ass), the marks outlasting the pain by far. The feeling would be more intense on more sensitive parts, of course but it could be used comfortably on the vulva area, I think. I found the aftermath provided a sort of warmth and hyper-sensitivity to the area struck. Actually, I might be more of a masochist than I knew because that feeling is great! The feel of the strike itself feels much like a slap and stings like one as well.

Alternatively, one could focus on using just the edge of the tongue with a quick back and forth motion which feels more like frictional (I had to look up that adjective; wouldn’t frictious sound better?) rubbing. It’s not quite intense and becomes like an uncomfortable chafing after prolong exposure. Lastly, the handle can be used for impact, like sort of a makeshift cane. The blows from the handle definitely feel heavier. I suppose that is what it meant when one describes “thuddy” impacts. I imagine this method would more quickly result in bruises and it’s the type of pain I definitely do not like in any sense; although, some surely do.

Of course, the stiff leather tongue wasn’t nearly as fun to run over the skin for general sensation play. Other toys with suede, premium leather or even fur are better for that. The handle could be used for penetration but it’s thin enough that it would leave me unimpressed unless there was a specific goal that I am not creatively enough endowed to think of.

When it comes to wielding a crop, I was definitely impressed. This light weight instrument is so completely easy to use and really isn’t taxing at all. I completely understand the description on the product page when it says it “will have you betting to see which lasts longer–your arm or their ass.” I also love the slapping sound which makes it fun for striking all sorts of things when a partner is blindfolded to make them jump. There’s lots of potential for mind fuckery. It’s a treat for the eyes as well, leaving quite the skin bright red without much effort at all.

Overall, the Kookie Riding Crop is a steal. It does what it advertises well but doesn’t do much more. I’m not sure why Babeland needs to ship it in a giant, 3″ long prism box, however. It dwarfed the lonely crop inside (which I do not believe was further packaged, nor did it have any tags/info) and I’m sure there are smaller, less wasteful ways to send it – like a poster tube, perhaps.

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Categories: BDSM, Reviews

He’s Just Not That Into Your Sex Toys

October 30th, 2009

My husband is not what I would consider an avid sex toy connoisseur. Sure, I’ve cuffed him up, tied him down, blinded his eyes, licked lubes and powders from his body, flogged him, tickled him with vibrators and slid sleeves and rings on his cock and, for the most part, he’s been a willing participant. Still, none of those things were ever his idea and none of those toys were ever his choices. It’s not that I don’t allow it. In fact, I try to get him involved on a frequent basis. I ask him if he wants to try this or that or I pick out a group of toys that would be good for both of us and let him make the final decision but he’s just not that into my sex toys.

For starters, he’s not really familiar with them. It seems like a big ol’ world out there and he doesn’t know where to go. Actually, that’s a cheap excuse because, with our experience together, he probably knows more about a variety of items than some people ever will. If he paid attention, at least. Which he doesn’t. Perhaps he’s just too overwhelmed to pay attention or perhaps it’s just not his thing. Therein lies the heart of the issue.

When it comes to sex toys, he uses a label for himself that I would never apply to him; neither would you, did you know him. He says he’s old fashioned. The first time I heard it, I nearly had a heart attack. My husband, old fashioned? My husband, old fashioned? Surely not the video game loving, black metal listening, internet surfing, iTouch owning husband of my own! I hadn’t even considered that sex toys might not be his thing but, there you have it, he’s too old fashioned.

To be perfectly fair, not all of the toys we’ve tried have rocked his world. We’d tried a number of cock rings which were too loose, too flimsy, too hair-pully, too tight or too underwhelming. To be even fairer, there’s definitely a larger market for woman oriented toys than there is for couple oriented, nonBDSM toys (excluding pegging) so it’s really no wonder why “our” collection is really my collection. Still, it’d be nice if he could see another cock ring as something for us as opposed to something for me.

With that said, I went ahead and requested to review a grenade masturbator because he thinks it’s totally awesome. Maybe that will change his mind.

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Categories: Everything Else

Stockroom

Kinklab leather wrist cuffs – black

October 23rd, 2009

I recently reviewed the Kinklab Padded Leather Blindfold. Aside from some minor pinching and slipping, it was a good piece, basic but functional. That’s pretty much how I’d sum up their leather wrist cuffs as well. They arrived in a similar plastic tube, from which I had to pry off the cap and on which is an image of the cuffs in use (but it’s not obscene).

Out of the tube, I saw that these cuffs do not have the common belt buckle style closure which Kinklab calls “self keeping”. Rather, when you wrap it around your wrist, the bottom layer has a pseudo-D ring which slips through the slit of your choice on the overlapping piece. Then, a thin strip of leather is pulled through that D-ring, over the hole to secure it in place. Given enough space, you could potentially loop the strap through other holes for extra security. It’s not fool-proof; if that is your goal, you can slip a padlock or something similar through the ring. On the other side is another ring which can be used to attach the cuffs to restraints or eachother.

Of course, no locks or connectors are included. This was easily remedied with a trip to Lowe’s and eventually Wal-mart. It doesn’t mean the cuffs are bad per se but that would be nice, especially because the staples are not like other D-rings or O-rings I’ve experienced. In fact, they’re not really rings are all but are open and shaped something like the Greek Omega with longer feet. Because of this unique shape, these staples are definitely smaller than I am used to and some hardware may not fit.

The staples and the leather strap are all fastened with metal rivets which seem quite secure. In fact, these cuffs look pretty unassuming and weren’t quite as pleasing to the eye as I might have liked but I was surprised at how well they held up while I had my husband restrained. Despite much thrashing and movement, the rivets stayed secure and the cuffs never came open. However, we played probably just over an hour and the thin leather straps were definitely coming loose. Eventually, the cuffs would have given way. Still, I’m surprised by how well they did hold without using a lock. Of course, some people would find this design a positive because it can easily be undone by fingers, teeth or even toes.

Over this time, he never complained of any discomfort, either. The edges are blunt and the leather itself is malleable enough to wear comfortably but they’re also not buttery soft as I have heard some leather described. The outside is shiny and smooth while the inside of the cuffs are unfinished but relatively soft. The cuffs fit him well, on the third hole or so with a bit room to spare. They are cut to fit a range of 5.5″ to 7″ which is right in the middle but those with smaller or larger wrists will be out of luck. Kinklab’s black leather wrist cuffs are just not meant to accommodate everyone.

Yet, they even surpassed my husband’s expectations. He expected to have bruises in the morning; however, there were none to be found. I don’t think there were any marks to be found, even immediately after playing and this definitely eases his mind.

For just shy of $30, the quality and performance of the Kinklab leather wrist cuffs is absolutely acceptable. I would recommend them to anyone just starting out when it comes to bondage or anyone who finds themselves needing a bit more than the “kinky kits” usually contain. I would eventually like to make more of an investment but, for now, these are great.

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Categories: BDSM, Reviews

Kinklab padded leather blindfold

October 16th, 2009

Since my husband’s return, I’ve made more of an effort to get into BDSM which meant I needed a quality blindfold (and more “hardcore” cuffs but that’s something else entirely). Kinklba’s Padded Leather Blindfold seemed to fit the bill. It was contoured to fit the face better than cheap “sleep mask” type blindfolds and was affordably priced in the $20 like many leather blindfolds.

The padded leather blindfold arrived in a functional plastic tube type container. On each end is a black plastic cap while the tube itself is clear. There is a paper insert with the product name and a picture of a woman wear it which isn’t explicit but does indicate the nature of the product. I thought I could pull off the top of the container by the little loop but it broke. Instead, I had to press in the sides to break the seal and then pop it off. It’s very secure which is good but a little bit of a hassle if you want to use it for storage; however, it’s a decent storage solution because the loop (if you don’t break it off) makes it able to be hung.

As the name suggests, this blindfold is padded and leather. The front side is a stiffer leather and you can see the stitches, in black, around the edge. The sewing is well done without any loose threads. The back, which sits against the face, has a softer padding where it would sit across the eyes. The edges are flush and flat feeling; they’re not silky soft or uber uncomfortable. The elastic strap is securely stitched to either side; on one side is also a clothing-style tag which the Kinklab label which also says it’s made in the USA.

During use, I found my eyes to be comfortable but the edges above the nose and toward the side applied pressure to my face. I could feel the stiffer leather around the edges where there was no padding.My husband did not experience this problem, however; I would attribute this to specific facial builds and the fact that the blindfold seems to be pretty big; at its widest, it’s nearly 3″ tall, which seems pretty big to me, and the bridge is over 1″ thick which I think is the cause of my personal discomfort. Of course, I do have a smaller face than some. This mask is bound to fit some people better than others.

This is especially true because it is secured by a simple elastic strap. Lying flat, the blindfold measures in at right around 20″ and I’d say you can get 4″ or so stretch from it but anyone who falls out of that range is out of luck. The blindfold could probably be sewn or otherwise manipulated for smaller headed folks but it’s not meant to be adjustable. Otherwise, this 3/4″ thick strap is made of a soft, elastic that’s fairly comfortable.

This blindfold is pretty effective at blacking out light. Because is is contoured, I can pull it a bit lower on my nose and I cannot see any light or movement aruond the eyes or nose. I could see the vaguest light toward the side of the blindfold but it’s really not enough to detect movement. Unfortunately, it’s more comfortable for me to wear this blindfold higher which negates that property but my husband didn’t experience that as an issue.

One issue I do have is that, no matter how you cut it, this blindfold is not foolproof. Because of the give in the elastic band, my husband was able to rub his head against the bed to remove the strap. This is perhaps not the best blindfold for a feisty partner. Then again, this freedom can work well for someone who is a bit anxious about playing with a blindfold. A buckle style blindfold might work better for my purposes.

Overall, the Kinklab padded leather blindfold is good quality and effective as blocking out light. I found it to be a little stiff initially so I hope it softens over time; this will definitely improve the comfort issues I had. Although it’s not super secure, it’s generally a good multipurpose accessory for BDSM play.

Find BDSM and bondage toys like this and one of the biggest selections of sex toys online at SexToy.com

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Categories: BDSM, Reviews

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