Spring 2021 Sexuality Media Recommendations

June 17th, 2021

It’s almost summer, which means I better get a move on if I want to post a list of recommendations for podcasts, books, and videos about sex if I want to do it while it’s still spring. Because I’ve moved to a seasonal-ish schedule, this list is long. But that means there’s plenty to listen to during your commutes, doctor-office-waits, and long walks through the cemetery!

I didn’t read many books about sex, so my recommendations are more general. Similarly, I didn’t watch any standout video content about sex, so I’ve focused on podcasts, instead. However, you’ll definitely find plenty of them listed below!

Read

I’m going to post my review of Erato: Flash Fiction shortly. In the meantime, you don’t want to miss this collection of skillfully written and inclusive erotic shorts.

It’s not about sex but I really loved reading My Favorite Thing Is Monsters for class and can’t wait for the second. Part of the reason the book speaks to me is the way it addresses sexism and sex work. If you like graphic novels that are literature, horror, and unique art, this is a must-read.

Another non-sex recommendation is Susan Cain’s Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can’t Stop Talking. This book really got me thinking about how my brain works and how I can help–or hinder–it in the process.

Listen

I’ve been wanting to read Ace: What Asexuality Reveals About Desire, Society, and the Meaning of Sex by Angela Chen for a while. In this interview on Out in the Bay, she reads excerpts from her book, offers new ways to understand sexuality, and discusses moving from science journalism to a book inspire by her own sexuality.

I’d never heard of Man Up before I came across this episode about healthy porn habits. The hosts, who are average guys and not necessarily sexperts, feminists, or super “woke,” discuss healthy ways to use porn in such an honest way.

Researcher Justin Lehmiller invited Dr. Michael Moreno on his podcast in an episode about talking to your doctor about sex. It’s such an important issue because sex impacts our physical and mental health. Yet, doctors don’t always receive a lot of sex education or may avoid these subjects. Advice like that in this podcast is important for patients to advocate for themselves.

Although it’s an older episode, Unladylike re-aired How to Free the Vibrator, a discussion with Polly from Unbound Babes. It dives into creating a feminist, friendly sex store that people aren’t ashamed to shop at or talk about. It’s something that I can sometimes–but shouldn’t–take for granted.

If you’re into learning, then you might like This Podcast Will Kill You. The topics span a broad range, so I only tune in now and then. Of course, I couldn’t resist an episode about HPV. In fact, this episode is one of the most educational and straightforward information sources I’ve ever encountered when it comes to HPV. And I’ve been diagnosed with it. Twice.

While I’m not normally into astrology, this discussion between Nicole and Danny Santos on Sluts and Scholars was an interesting listen that made me appreciate its meaning to people a bit more.

Sex educator Jennifer Litner joins Nicole on Sluts and Scholars to discuss how parents can give proper sex education, pleasure’s role in our lives, and desire discrepancies in long-term relationships.

In an honest and casual discussion, Kitty Stryker and Sunny Megatron discuss the definition of manipulation and the various forms it takes, including those that aren’t inherently negative.

If you haven’t heard about all the censorship of sex happening on social media, this American Sex episode will blow your mind.

Anyone who has wanted to try rope bondage but finds it intimidating will love this interview with Midori American Sex. She tackles the issue in such a no-nonsense way that makes it super accessible while showinga how simplicity can still be powerful and creative.

Sunny absolutely smashed it in her breakdown of the history of sex and porn censorship on the Internet. She discusses how it has been an issue for literal decades, long before SESTA/FOSTA, and how stars, creators, and websites have dealt with increasing restrictions. This episode is so ridiculously eye-opening!

Catie Osborn relates how having ADHD impacts her sex life in an episode of American sex that’s just as helpful for those with ADHD as it is their partners.. and potentially everyone else!

I’ve been looking forward to reading Dr. Ina Park’s book about the science and history of STIs since I first heard of it. Her interview with Tristan Taormino only made me want to read it more (I’m sure I’ll eventually write a review about it)!

Academic and feminist Dr. Heather Berg literally wrote the book about porn as work, and she talks all about it with Tristan Taormino.

I love when someone just pulls back the curtain to reveal fuckery that’s been going on under our noses, and that’s precisely what Kaytlin Bailey when she appeared on Sex Out Loud Radio to discuss the history of sex work. I’m looking forward to checking out more of her work!

I hadn’t heard of Richelle Frabotta before stumbling on this podcast from Miami University, but I love her take on sex education so much that I followed her on Twitter, listened to other podcasts, and am seriously considering receiving training through the Sexual Training Institute, at which she is an instructor.

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Fall 2020 Madia Recommendations

October 30th, 2020

I’ve skipped right from spring to autumn, and I hope you all won’t mind! It’s been busy for reasons that I really should blog about! With that, I’ll leave you with some media recommendations that will keep you busy!

A content warning: the last several podcast recommendations mention sexual assault and abortion. I’ll mention the content warning again so you can skip to the next section!

Listen

I found the episode of American Sex with Catie Osborn about ADHD and sex to be interesting. It touched on some science and revealed how much more we have to discover. I only wish she had backed up some of her statements with sources.

Sunny and Ken also interviewed Ana Algos about being a BDSM switch,  teaching kink online, safety, and how COVID has made education more accessible to those people who weren’t privileged enough to participate in such things before.

There are several of Sluts, and Scholars episodes that were great listens for me! First up, Andre Shakti discusses wrestling fetishes, learning shame about sexual interests, and non-intimidating ways you can open up to a partner about sex. I also recommend you tune into the episode with Zoe Ligon, owner of Spectrum Boutique, who discusses her book about sex toys, sex education, and providing toys to shoppers during the pandemic.

I couldn’t write a post without mention Tristan Taormino’s podcast Sex Out Loud Radio, either. Tristan invited Dr. Nan Wise on her show to discuss her interest in neuroscience and sex, which is right up my alley and should be up yours, too!

Content warning: sexual assault and abortion mentioned below

I also LOVED Tristan’s talk with Jennifer S. Hirsch and Shamus Khan about their work on campus sexual assault. It’s the sort of research that I find fascinating, and they ask some tough but necessary questions.

I couldn’t believe how unethical and common pregnancy crisis centers are when I listened to Unladylike’s episode on the topic. The facts and firsthand knowledge shared will blow your mind in the worst possible way, but it’s absolutely worth a listen.

Finally, I want to recommend an entire podcast. Beyond Fear: The Sex Crimes Podcast by Alexa Sardina and Alissa Ackerman is full of the science I love and the compassion we need around the topic of sexual assault. I first heard Alissa on Unladylike in an episode about the American prison system but knew I needed to listen to her podcast with Alexa to understand more about sexual assault. Both women are researchers who have worked with perpetrators and survivors of sexual assault and are survivors themselves, and the knowledge they provide in this podcast is astounding. Every episode has been eye-opening; most have been difficult. I also appreciate what a good job they do with content warnings at the top of each episode. If you can handle it, it’s one of the most important podcasts I’ve ever listened to.

Watch

I came upon these two talks separately, so while they both deal with gender, it’s a coincidence.

In her Ted Talk, Karissa Sanbonmatsu discusses the search for a biological basis for gender and, more specifically, how epigenetics impacts gender. as she attempts to answer the question, “What does it mean to be a woman?” Epigenetics and the basis of gender are both fascinating on their own, but it’s genius to consider them together. Science can only take us so far, however, and the compassionate undertones in Karissa’s speech remind the listener that women don’t exist in vacuums. We’re part of society, which also gives meaning to being a woman.

To continue the theme, Emily Quinn starts her Ted Talk with “I have a vagina.” But she examines how we place people into boxes labeled “man” and “woman” and what it means to be intersex. Emily discusses natural human variation and the shortcomings of the sex/gender binary, and the harm it does to people.

Read

I’ve been busy reading other things but was so excited that my library picked up Kate Lister‘s A Curious History of Sex, which was released in February. I’m always impressed when a book surprises me with knowledge, and this one did!  It was funny and quick, and I hope to make time to review it shortly. If I don’t get around to it, I still recommend it!

One of the things about doing a semi-quarterly version of these posts is that I don’t feel the need to pad the posts. I really have a chance to consume some quality media, which doesn’t just make for good recommendations; it also keeps me entertained and informed. I hope these posts do the same for you, and if you think there’s something I ought to recommend or simply enjoy myself, please let me know in the comments!

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March 2020 Media Recommendations

April 1st, 2020

Welp, I am a fair bit late with this post. I’ve thought about finishing it every day for the last week, but I was never at my laptop when the thought struck. I guess I was too busy enjoying this media to write about it. Oops.

Without further ado..

Listen

Actress Jameela Jamil hosts two episodes of a podcast called The New Age of Consent wherein she discusses the nuances of consent. It’s pretty quick and features some awesome guests.

I’ve spent much of the last week binging Watts Your Safeword. I recently caught an episode of Sexplanations featuring co-host Amp, and while I just do not enjoy Dr. Lindsey as a host, I knew I had to get some more of Amp. Watts Your Safeword is relatively new, so there aren’t that many posts. Amp is joined on air with his daddy Mr. Kristofer, and the two discuss their work in porn as well as kink, among other topics. It’s been a while since I listened to a podcast simply because I enjoy the banter, but I do with this one. Amp is nerdy and punny, and I often find myself laughing at his antics. Several of the episodes have been kinky versions of games, including Kinky Shark Tank. They also tackle more serious and thoughtful topics, but there’s always a joke or pun to be found. I see that a new episode has been posted since I finished the archive, so I need to catch up!

Sunny takes on the issue of COVID-19 in this episode of American Sex featuring Kate Loree. I especially appreciate the comments about the things we all can do to improve our state of minds when the world is in its current state.

Read

I’m going to recommend a few non-sexy books this month. The last couple that I read about sex fell a bit flat for me.

First up is If I Understood You, Would I Have This Look on My Face?: My Adventures in the Art and Science of Relating and Communicating by Alan Alda. The title is ridiculously long, but the book is not, and I particularly enjoyed hearing Alda narrate his own book. He has such a great voice for it! His ideas really made me think about communication and especially empathy, and I gained so much respect for how he interacts with others.

Samantha Allen’s Real Queer America: LGBT Stories from Red States is a multi-stop road trip to some of the cities that offered the most formative experiences in the former Mormon’s life. Again, I listened to this one and Allen read her own words. Her voice was so vulnerable at times as she spoke about the changing landscape for queer and trans people like herself, even in some traditionally-conservative locations. It simultaneously gave me pause and hope.

Finally, For Small Creatures Such as We: Rituals for Finding Meaning in Our Unlikely World is the new book from Sasha Sagan, daughter of carl. I haven’t finished it, but it’s so incredibly smart and makes me feel connected to a world that’s larger than I am. Like Sasha, I am not religious, but she has thought more conscientiously about the meaning of ritual in our lives. I think many of us could benefit from doing the same, and I cannot complain about feeling closer to Carl through his daughter’s words.

Watch

I also don’t have any videos related to sex to watch

I forgot about this adorable animated documentary about the clitoris. It’s in French, but there are subtitles!

A couple other things struck me this month:

Are y’all familiar with PlutoTV? It’s apparently not new, but I’ve only heard of it in the last couple weeks. Oddly, it was mentioned in several places. I’ve been using it to watch Leverage, which I recommend but like slightly less than I did when it first aired.

This video that illustrates the capabilities of deep fakes just blows my mind.

Mark Rober, who you might know for his exploding package video, demonstrates how germs spread in a more recent video. It’s a good reminder in the time of COVID-19.

DJ Tom Nash discusses adaptability and self-importance among other important ideas in a TED talk that’s less than 10 minutes along and is funny.

So, folks, I clearly need to read and watch more sexy content. Got any recommendations for me? Sound off in the comments!

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The Best and Worst of 2019

December 30th, 2019

In previous years my best — and worst of — lists included multiple sex toys. In 2019, I reviewed mostly books and not that many of them. So you’ll find a handful of them on this list along with only one sex toy!

Turned On Science, Sex and Robots

Sex meets tech in this entertaining and informative book by Kate Devlin

The first book I’ll recommend is Revolting Prostitutes, which examines the different legal frameworks and how those affect sex workers. It also explains how sex workers’ rights are ultimately women’s rights. If you want to learn more about how legalizing or decriminalizing sex work plays out, this is the book for you!

While I wasn’t intending to review Screwed, it wound up being a fast read that I enjoyed as well as a compelling argument that looked into the ways that society fails women when it comes to sex.

I thought I knew a lot about the menstrual cycle, but Heavy Flow explained some things that weren’t quite clear and helped paint a picture of menstruation as part of the larger picture and a person’s life and not just compartmentalized, relegated to exist only for 4-7 days out of the month.

If you want to know the state of sex robots and contemplate what this means for you, then I cannot recommend Turned On enough. It’s witty and wise and truly enjoyable to read.

I only reviewed a few sex toys this year, and only one is worth recommending. The revamped Laya II is stronger than the first Laya II and allowed me to enjoy Fun Factory’s Laya line once more.

On the other hand, Vibease and its terrible audio erotica failed to please. And months later, I am still struggling to get Coochy Plus shaving cream out of the broken pump bottle it came in.

Interestingly, while I had a somewhat favorable opinion of Mimi Soft when I reviewed it at the beginning of the year, I actually forgot I even tried it. Oops!

 

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The Best and Worst Sex Toys (+Books) of 2018

December 31st, 2018

The Best

Becoming Cliterate

Cat-approved sex education

Unlike previous years, this list is filled mostly with books as I’ve reviewed more books than ever on my blog. I hope you’ve all enjoyed my book reviews. I’ve certainly

enjoyed reading most of them, especially the following.

  • Just Lehmiller’s book Tell Me What You Want details the responses from over 4,000 Americans about their sexual fantasies. You’ll learn what’s common, why we might have some fantasies, how to talk about them, and when fantasies are best left unexplored.
  • Becoming Cliterate is the book I want to recommend for anyone who owns or plays with a clitoris. It has the potential to flip a mediocre sex life on end and provides hands-on advice for the reader and their partner(s).
  • Screamin O managed to surprise me with Scoop, a powerful little vibrator.

G-Vibe 2

This vibrator allowed me to write a scathing review, at least

The Worst

Of course, not everything I tried was fantastic.

  • This is a bit of a cheat because I didn’t write a similar post to wrap up 2017 (there simply weren’t enough contenders), but the Black Line Laya II was my biggest disappointment in years. I now have my hands on the updated Laya II, so expect a comparison review sometime next year.
  • The Lovehoney Short Satin Robe was just boxy and cheap. I didn’t know something so simple could go so wrong.
  • Oh my gaaawd, there was no denying that the GVibe 2 would wind up on my list. A toy claiming to do everything that pretty much did nothing. Please don’t waste your time. I beg of you.
  • Despite positive reviews about toys in this line and the Mini Marvels Marvelous Massager itself, I cannot see myself ever picking up this painful, power-devoid vibrator again.
  • Getting through Sex Outside the Lines was tedious. It was definitely my least favorite sexuality book of the year. The author continuously used hyphen-laden phrases that he seemed to pull out of thin air in a way that I am sure he thought made him look like an authority in the subject. Instead, it just made him look pretentious and out of touch.

Dishonorable Mentions?

I don’t normally do this, but there were a couple things that really stood out in a way that was confusing. First up?

  • GBalls, which worked fine as a device and certainly better than Minna’s kGoal, which has earned my ire on a previous yearend wrapup. The only problem? The app. It needs another proofread. Similar items might be more worth your money simply because of the app experience.
  • As I said in my review, the We-Vibe Wish has left me with conflicting feelings like no other toy before. The rumbly vibrations are so close to perfect yet just a smidge too weak to be a mindblowing toy. Not being able to adjust the vibration is almost torturous. Don’t judge me if I cry.

But this is just my opinion. I’d love to know if any of my readers agree or disagree. Got your own recommendations? Perhaps you want to warn us away from something? Sound off in the comments!

I’d also love to know what you’d like to see me review next year.

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October 2018 Media Recommendations

October 26th, 2018

October has flown by, and part of what has occupied my time is a lot of media consumption, so I have some recommendations if you want to do some learning about sex.

Reading

I just started reading Why Is the Penis Shaped Like That?: And Other Reflections on Being Human because I figured I might as well take advantage of the Scribd membership that I pay for. I, and I suspect many of my readers, know why the penis is shaped why it is (or, at the very least, the current scientific theory). But the book tackles other subjects about human sexuality and is rather entertaining. I’m not very far, but I’ve learned some interesting about (cis) male bodies that sex education/health classes failed to teach. Surprise!

Listening

  • As soon as I heard the broadcast of “No” by Kaitlin Prest as part of Radiolab’s 3-part series called In the No, I knew I would at it to this list. Last year, Kaitlin produced this powerful show about rape culture, consent, and coercion. The first part is incredibly provocative, nearly leaving me breathless. I would listen with caution if you are a survivor of sexual assault. It was hard to listen to even though I have not had those experiences, and part of the show contains actual recordings. If you’re not willing to wait for the rest of the episodes on Radiolab, you can listen to them on Kaitlin’s podcast Heart. The followup episode focuses on educating offenders while the last episode analyzes why people may not be able to say “No” when they want sex as well as issues with consent within the BDSM community, which is often lauded for its consent-driven model.
  • I’ve also been listening to a lot of American Sex Podcast. The episodes on sociology, communication, and melanistic kink were all home runs for me.

Watching

This month’s visual recommendations are both on Netflix.

  • The first recommendation is Adam Ruins Everything’s sex episode, which tackles the hymen, herpes, and more. The hymen episode may be the first Adam Ruins Everything show I ran into, and Netflix has curated it along with some episodes. I’ve always found the series and host engaging, but I don’t do a lot of Youtube, so I haven’t watched much of it.
  • My second recommendation is a series called Christiane Amanpour: Sex & Love Around the World. I was not previously familiar with Christiane Amanpour, who apparently works for CNN. In this series, she travels to different countries around the world and talks to citizens about their opinions on love and sex. It starts in Japan, which I found particularly interesting because of the cultural emphasis on community. This is something a bit foreign to me as an American. I am not very far into the series but definitely find it interesting. My biggest critique is that because each location is only covered in a single episode and the topics of sex and love are so broad that it barely scratches the surface.

I’ve just finished two books that were dominating my time, so I’ll be able to catch up on the two books I started last month and finally get the reviews written (along with a few others!).

Got any recommendations? Leave ’em in the commentd!

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September 2018 Media Recommendations

September 30th, 2018

I suppose I better post this while it’s still September, huh?

Even though I tried to be more conscientious about the media  I was consuming this month so I could include it in this post, I’m having a difficult time remembering just what that was. I suppose this means I need to make more memos to myself!

Watching

One of the things that did leave an impression was a video I saw shared on BuzzFeed’s Facebook page about a black domme who teaches black feminist theory as part of her domination style.  I shared it on social media, but it’s worth another mention. I just love the way she’s subverting power for her means. Unfortunately, it won’t let me display it directly, so you’ll need to click over to Facebook.

Reading

This month, I started two books about sex.

I’m not very far into either of them because of personal reading, but I enjoy them both. It’s interesting that they’re both about history — a bit of a departure for me.

They’re both less than a year old, so you may not be familiar with them. Fortunately, I will be reviewing both books here.. eventually.

This is also an unusual recommendation, but I highly enjoyed reading all of the social posts about Sex Out Loud, a sex conference that recently took place in Atlanta. The conference is especially supportive of southern people of color, but it seems welcoming to all. You can check out posts, including panel live tweets, at #SDSCon18. You can also follow the official Sex Down South Twitter account.

On a less positive note, recent CDC reports show that STIs are on the rise.

Listening

I really enjoyed a recent episode of Sex Out Loud where Tristan interviewed Andre Shakti about Sex Down South. Not only did I enjoy hearing about the conference as I did reading it, but it gave me food for thought as Andre reiterated that we cannot just promote voices in academia because of the barriers to academia. I have been thinking a lot about this (and my own contribution to the issue) since the post-Woodhull uproar).

As always, feel free to leave your own recommendations in the comments!

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