Waterproof Power Stud Cliterrific

December 29th, 2012

Waterproof Power Stud Cliterrific

Waterproof Power Stud Cliterrific
$22.99 from CEN

So, I never would have picked this toy by myself. I think the fact that CEN calls it a “dong” is a good indicator of that. It’s essentially a realistic dildo with a vibrator mechanism added in as an afterthought. It’s got veins, a head and some strange bumps that really evoke the image of a dude who shaved about a week ago and is kind of prickly. This isn’t starting off very favorable, is it? I

To be honest. I have nothing positive to say about this one. I’m far too tired to fake it with a vibrator, okay?

It might look realistic ish. If bright pink and pitch black ever are. And the size is about right with 6″ or so of insertable length. But it doesn’t feel realistic. The PVC — again, not my choice — is very plasticy. The product description calls it soft, but it’s soft in the way that plastic is. It’s nothing like silicone. It doesn’t feel good. The veins and head are lost on me because it’s just ick. In your hand, you can tap it with a finger and hear the hardness of the PVC . I don’t know how the hell this made it past the inspection process.

I mean, at least it doesn’t collect lint? I don’t know.

That’s not the only incredibly offensive thing about this toy. Y’all know that I like some power and depth to my vibrators. I shy away from any that take AAA batteries because of this. When I forget, I am always disappointed. The Layaspot is the only exception to this rule ever. With 2AAs, I figured I might not hate this.

Guess what?

I was wrong.

For starters, the control is on the side of the shaft. It points up when this is inserted with the ridiculous nubs upward. When you consider that a) the shaft doesn’t bend or flex and b) I’m not going to insert this down to the giant testicle base, they’re useless, but I digress.

The button on the side of the shaft gives you three levels of steady vibes and they all suck. Or blow. Or fucking rot. Pick one. They’re stupidly week. Like trying to get off by sticking your vulva toward the wind. I don’t even know what that means, but it would probably work better than this.

I gave up in thirty seconds. I’m sorry. This just isn’t a good toy at all.

Maybe you can use this waterproof vibe to clean your tub. I don’t know. Please don’t buy it. If you really want realistic, anything by Vixen is a better bet. While the BOB has the stupid nubs, it at least feels better. The Posh Teaser 2 is definitely stronger, prettier and ultimately more useful in my book, too, if you need something cheap!
CEN Sexpert

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Categories: Reviews, Vibrators

Zen Tranquility

April 16th, 2010

Zen Tranquility

Zen Tranquility
$68.82 from Store.OfSexAndLove.com

Zen Tranquility, a vibrator which is also known as Sabar Zen, is supposedly a designer vibrator by Michael young. “Who?” you might ask. Well, I’d love to tell you but I don’t know. Some sources say he’s a watch designer to which, I say “Good for you. Don’t quit your day job.” Actually, some sources call him Michael Yang which is interesting. Perhaps because he is Hong Kong based, who knows. Anyway, this contemporary vibrator is supposed to be some sort of affordable luxury but, for what it does, isn’t much of either.

The Zen Tranquility is made of hard, slick plastic. It’s really shiny but, for some reason, I do not find it to seem very luxurious. Perhaps it’s the way that it smudges and picks up fingerprints like crazy, marring the otherwise reflecting surface. Perhaps it’s the cheap feel of the battery cap which is inserted and removed from the larger end with a click. Sometimes it even turns on when I put the cap back on, and the controls won’t respond to turn it off. It just does not feel quality. Oh, that’s right, it’s another California Exotics Toy. Not that I have anything against them, it’s just that they tend to slap famous names on their toys to make them sell but the designs are usually just as cheap.

I have to admit at first appearance, the Zen Tranquility looks pretty interesting. That’s part of the reason I selected it. The glossy plastic adds to the contemporary feel provided by the curves. This 6.5″ vibe curves slightly upward if resting on a flat surface. Each end is curved as well, with the vibrator growing in thickness toward the end with the buttons. The smaller end has a diameter of slightly over 1″ while the larger end has a diameter of just under 1.6″.

The curve of the toy is gentle. It will work to stimulate some G-spots but not necessarily all. The tapered curve of the usable side provides pinpoint stimulation the the vibrations are focused right there. This might make it a good choice if you like pinpoint clitoral stimulation, too.

There are long indentations along both sides which are intended to be finger holds. However, they are only useful if you hold your hand in a certain position (resting atop the vibrator, the heel of your hand toward the buttons) and I do not. It’s like this toy was designed by someone who doesn’t understand the concept of ergonomics but wants to.

The vibrations are controlled by two buttons on the wider end. Technically, it’s one button and you press either the + or – side to adjust it. The soft button is easy to press and I haven’t had any issues with it not knowing which side I am pressing. However, it may be too easy to press and has turned on in my FYN Toybox a handful of times. The position of the controls makes them likely to be bumped. When powered on, this button glows red which is handy.

There are several levels of continuous vibration and they flow together smoothly when adjusting. This might be good for someone who doesn’t like their vibration levels to be spaced too far apart but makes it difficult to tell exactly how many levels there are. There might be 8. Maybe.

Powered by 2 AAA batteries, the Zen Tranquility is decently powerful but no Hitachi. The vibrations are surprisingly deep on the lower levels but become more shallow as the level increases. I find this to be quite common with a lot of toys powered by AAAs. The higher settings do tickle my hand uncomfortable.

This vibrator is not especially quiet which also detracts from its “luxury.” It won’t wake the dead but it might be a dead giveaway to folks in the same room or home.

I don’t need much vibration to get off but I just found the plastic to be both uncomfortable and unremarkable. There is absolutely no texture to speak of the the gradual curve of the shaft can’t “hook” on anything. This does mean you don’t need a lot of lubrication for insertion, however. Frankly, I found the Zen Tranquility to be a bit, well, boring.

This vibrator does come with a storage pouch but it’s pretty cheap. It’s a stiff velour type and is only just longer and wider than the toy itself. When the bag is cinched closed, the Zen Tranquility is pretty snug. The cinch strings are about 1.75″ on either side of the opening which I find ridiculously short, too.

To put it bluntly, the Zen Tranquility is a wolf in sheep’s clothing. Once you look a little closer, the facade fades pretty quickly. It’s not a horrible vibrator but it’s definitely not worth $70. I’d happily pay about half that, maybe a little more. You can get some fairly comparable products (Magnifique by Natural Contours, for example) for even less than that.

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Categories: Reviews, Vibrators

Zone Bliss Purple

April 10th, 2010

Zone Bliss Purple

Zone Bliss Purple
$37.14 from Store.OfSexAndLove.com

The Zone Bliss is a uniquely designed vibrator which automatically earns brownie points for a couple characteristics:

  • It looks like a rocket ship
  • It can be used hands free
  • The base is made of sturdy plastic while the insertable portion is a removable silicone sleeve
  • It’s surprisingly strong
  • The controls are super easy to use

But it falls short in several key ways:

  • The design blocks access to the clit (when used vaginally) unless it is turned so the buttons are unreachable
  • It’s too short for me to actually kneel over
  • The base is too large for me to sit on
  • The texture does not add stimulation
  • The shape is not ideal for storage

The design, although original, is straight forward. A cone shape points upward, resting upon tripod. As I mentioned, the base itself is plastic and the cone is sheathed in a removable silicone sleeve. This makes cleaning a breeze; you can wipe down the plastic and wash the sleeve with soap and water or clean it with a bleach solution. I was worried about lubes or liquids finding their way beneath the sleeve but, thus far, it has not been a problem. It’s perfectly ‘sealed.’

However, this toy is far from problematic. From initial insertion, I struggled to find any position in which I could use the Zone Bliss comfortably. I tried kneeling and sitting to no avail. I could not kneel low enough for even half insertion and the hard plastic of the base pushed uncomfortable when I tried to sit. Some bodies might work better for this and then, conceivably, the Zone Bliss could rest on an even surface (the legs all have little rubber feet on them which also dampens the noise of it vibrating against the surface). I bet this would work better in a kneeling position, over a firm-ish pillow (perhaps one of the Liberator shapes).

I could use it a little more successfully on my back, with legs up. I was also able to achieve full insertion with this method but even with the Zone Bliss fully inserted, I experienced more issues.

The two buttons to control this vibrator are on one of the legs. To reach the buttons, I situate this leg so it’s in front of me but then it blocks access to my clit and the side legs fight for position where my thighs are. So I can can rotate the toy so that no legs are directly in front of me but then the buttons are not really accessible. It seems to me that it would make more sense to put the buttons on the bottom.

Other than that, the soft plastic buttons are decently sized and easy to find because they’re thick. One turns the toy on and cycles upward while the other turns it off. That’s all it does: turns it off. I wish this button cycled downward, too. There are three speeds of steady vibration which are a little buzzier than I’d like but surprisingly strong. Then again, it better be for a power source of 3 AAs. In fact, I think I’d like to see more vibrators require the extra battery. Then there are multiple pulsation modes:

  • Short-short-long pulse
  • short repeating pulses
  • This short escalating pulse thing
  • Escalation

After escalation, the steady vibration continues again instead of the toy shutting off. It’s kind of confusing. As you can guess, this toy is not the quietest I have ever owned. Most of the base seems to be hollow plastic so the vibrations sort of reverberate through it. It’s quieter than it would be, when resting on a hard surface, because of the rubber feet but this one just might be heard through a closed door.

If I were able to find a comfortable position, I might like the way the Zone Bliss feels inserted. I could not detect the embossed “chevron” shapes but the short, squat shaft was appropriate filling for me without being horrendously long. It stimulated my G-spot but it short enough – 3.5″ – and lacks the curve that many women need for G-spot stim. Even if it weren’t a bit of a hassle, I could not recommend this toy to newbies or women who like their toys smaller. At the base, the shaft has a diameter of 2″. It does taper slightly toward the tip but much of the shaft remains around 1.5″ in diameter.

In case you were wondering, this vibe is not meant to be submerged. The battery pack clicks in and out like most remotes so it’s definitely not waterproof.

The Zone Bliss has a lot of depth, too, which means it cannot be stored just anywhere. In a drawer, on a shelf or in a deep box are your best bets. I would not store it in any sort of bag. The Zone Bliss also arrives in a rather large, cylindrical plastic container which is not practical at all for storage, unless you collect unique looking “hat boxes.”

The Zone Bliss is really the sort of toy which is best for people who like to have novelty toys but don’t necessarily mind if those toys are not all that practical.

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Categories: Reviews, Vibrators

Image © MisterUnlucky; used with permission.