But I’m the only one
Who’ll walk across the fire for you
I’m the only one
Who’ll drown in my desire for you
It’s only fear that makes you run
The demons that you’re hiding from
When all your promises are gone
I’m the only one
This whole thing is so difficult for me. I hired a divorce attorney today. I still try to have hope but I know things are bleak. This shouldn’t be happening. To me. I mean, we loved each other so much. How could it be happening?
I’m so full of questions. Sometimes I wonder how I could have been so awful. Other times I wonder how he let his negative attitudes get so far. Some days I wonder just what the problem was because our relationship was far from disastrous, really. I don’t want to trivialize his feelings but at the end of the day, I think it’s safe to say they are not proportionate to events. And he’s not reacting like an adult.
It makes me so angry. I just want to knock sense into him because God knows that he won’t listen to reason. Whatever happened to sticking it through “the worse” (you know, like in your vows?). Hell, can I even call these times “the worse?” They’re more like the not-quite-awesome times. That’s not that bad.
Today I realized that 60 days from the date he filed will be my fucking birthday. I don’t know if I could handle being divorced in my birthday. I mean, divorce itself is bad enough as is.
God, I wish our therapist was available this week.
