10 Sex Ed Books On My Reading List

May 18th, 2016

A while back, I noticed that Good Vibes seemed to be increasing their book section. Maybe they’ve always had an awesome collection of books, and I’m not just talking about erotica and stuff from Cleis Press, which publishes my favorite sex series. I mean sex education books, studies of human sexuality and instructional books that expand on Our Bodies, Ourselves (also available from Good Vibes.)

Not all of these books are new, but most of them are new to me and a few are new to the site. This list isn’t comprehensive by any means, but it does contain titles I’d like to look into further (I plan on reading most/all of them myself to update this post with my own thoughts and recommendations in the future), and those that

1. Sex Yourself: The Woman’s Guide to Mastering Masturbation and Achieving Powerful Orgasms

I love anything that teaches women about masturbation. Let’s talk about the, literal, ins and outs. Let’s experiment. Let’s draw back the curtain. This book was published by Good Vibes itself, which has me feeling pretty confident in its content!

2. Wide Open

Gracie X writes about being polyamorous in a world that most definitely doesn’t understand or condone it. I most definitely enjoyed another book about the poly lifestyle – My Life on the Swingset. Wide Open might not be instructional, but anecdotal stories about “alternative” lifestyles certainly help people to explore.

3. Girls & Sex

This book discusses how young women of high school and college age deal with the sexual world in which they live. Again, women’s sexuality is so frequently ignored or worse, that I cannot help but feel curious about what’s between these pages.

Drawing on in-depth interviews with over seventy young women and a wide range of psychologists, academics, and experts, renowned journalist Peggy Orenstein goes where most others fear to tread, pulling back the curtain on the hidden truths, hard lessons, and important possibilities of girls’ sex lives in the modern world.

 

What Do Women Want?

What Do Women Want?

4. What Do Women Want?

Daniel Bergner analyses research on a women’s arousal and desire to determine what they really want. I first discovered this around the same time as Come As You Are by Emily Nagasaki, available on Amazon. She was kind enough to reply to me on Twitter about the comparison between the two books, which use the same data but draw different conclusions. I am already a fan of Nagasaki, so I might be biased, but I’d still like to read this book.

5. Playing the Whore

Ever since reading a smart essay on sex work in the most recent Best Sex Writing anthology, I’ve been looking at sex work in a more sex positive way. Playing the Whore sounds like the perfect argument to those who view sex workers as less than human and focus on legislation that hurts them, rather than helping them.

6. Cunt: A Declaration of Independence

I love language, and I love using the word “cunt.” It seems so bold to name a book this, but I’m not sure it should. Author Inga Muscio discusses how the word has changed over time and how we should reclaim it — and our bodies.

7. Designer Relationships: A Guide to Happy Monogamy, Positive Polyamory, and Optimistic Open Relationships

A how-to on romantic and sexual relationships? Why isn’t this something we’re taught from the start?!

8. The Sex & Pleasure book

Another offering from Good vibes, THE Sex & Pleasure Book is written by Carol Queen and Shar Rednour to cover everything related to sex. It’s got a 5-star rating, which only makes me want to read it more.

9. Woman Cancer Sex

The stark cover perfectly complements the stark nature of sex. Few people offer advice to cancer patients in regards to sex and intimacy. Anne Katz does it in these pages. She talks about side effects and potential issues from cancer and treatments, and this is exactly the sort of sex education that’s practical and necessary.

10. She Comes First

My desire for reading this book is pretty selfish. In short, I want to pick it apart page by page and disagree with suggestions about how to please a woman. But maybe I’ll be pleasantly surprised.

There are over 100 books, including erotica and sex ed, that you can buy from Good Vibes. Obviously, it’s more than just a place where I get free sex toys, so add a book to your cart the next time you’re shopping!

This post contains affiliate links. I will earn a commission if you make a purchase after clicking. I was not compensated for this post.

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Boss Dildo

May 6th, 2015

I’m not sure I can describe how excited I was over the prospect over own the Boss dildo. I own the original AAA-powered Boss, which I described using the word “love”, and the larger and rechargeable Big Boss, though the latter is one of those toys I really should use more! I saw no reason why I wouldn’t love this new offering from Fun Factory.

Each of the toys in the Boss lineup varies slightly. The Big Boss was larger than the original, and the “stub” is a dildo with a suction cup base that doesn’t curve in a way that suggests “clitoral stimulation.” Not that the other two really offered much without bending them; although, I did do this with the original quite a bit.

I rarely order dildos in flesh tones, so was pleasantly surprised when this showed up in the caucasion variant, I guess. It’s also available in black, like the two vibes, and pink. The Boss dildo (pictured here with the Joyboxx Playtray) has a texture quite like the vibes. It’s velvety in your hand. During use, however, this creates a fuck ton of drag that requires nearly as much lube. This is especially true around the contoured head, which has a more intense “lip” than the vibes, but the overall head is less pronounced. The texture of the dildo also seems smoother than the vibes but no less draggy.

The Boss dildo is fairly impressive with seven insertible inches and a diameter of 1.7″. In terms of toys, the Boss dildo falls somewhere in the middle. The original measured 1.6″ wide and about the same length. The Big Boss is slightly wider and ever-so-slightly longer for insertion but definitely longer overall. Because of the color, the dildo appears to be wider, but black is just so slimming!

Big Boss, Boss dido and the Boss vibrator

Big Boss, Boss dido and the Boss vibrator

Because I don’t tend to warm up with other toys or use many insertibles that are this large, the Boss dildo just winds up feeling a little cumbersome. But the size and firm-ish texture are probably going to work really well for someone who likes that sort of thing. It’s firm enough to thrust like crazy once you’re all lubed up. Although, the asymmetrical suction cup base is a little weird for using as a handle. This isn’t a deal breaker, however.

The Boss dildo still has two ridges that come toward toward the base. These are more like the original Boss because the Big Boss, the ridges were quite defined. They’re more gradual on the dildo. With the vibrators, this was intended to stimulate your clit. This isn’t really the case, however, because it doesn’t curve enough, those the curve is more akin to the original Boss, too. Without the vibrations, it doesn’t do anything for my externally, so I find myself reaching for another toy.

The curve does do a decent job of stimulating my G-spot, but it’s no Pure Wand or Comet, so some people might need something more. Good Vibes also suggests you give this one a try for prostate pleasure.For me, the Boss is less about shape and more about size. It’s filling, and conquering it fills me me all sorts of price.

Ultimately, I think I like this shape better as a vibrator. Because I so often tend to simply hold it in place while stimulating my clit, it works better to rely on vibrations rather than thrusting as the source of pleasure with the texture on the Boss dildo. I’d love to recommend any of the vibes to my readers, but it doesn’t look like Fun Factory makes it any longer. This is a shame because it was a wonderful toy, both in vibrations and size/shape.

If I’m being honest, the Boss dildo is the type of toy I’ll keep in my drawer and forget about until i feel so guilty that I have to use it, but it’s not the type of toy I’d use for a quickie session where I want to cum, squirt and get back to work.

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The Girls Bestie Vibe

November 10th, 2014

reviewer’s remorse

noun

1.

overwhelming regret upon using or opening a sex toy for the first time and knowing instantaneously that there’s no way you can like it — and you can’t even send it back for a refund because it was free!

2.

theme of this post

Let’s set the stage shall we? I am so excited for new brands that sometimes I let my excitement get the best of me. I forget to check all-important stats such as length or girth or, God forbid, power source! of a toy. Or I forget that I really don’t like clitoral stimulators shaped like bunny ears. You can guess which one I am guilty of this time.

Yes, the bestie has silly bunny ears. Yes, the vibrations are incredibly buzzy, so those ears wind up.. offending my clit. It’s not a powerful barrage. It’s not over-stimulating. It’s simply the wrong kind of stimulation. My clit is offended, okay?

If you like bunny ears fluttering over your clit, then maybe yours won’t be offended, but I’m pretty terrible at guessing these things.

Bestie’s charging base reminds me a lot of the ones that comes with the Form 3 and Form 3. The rounded butt sits in it. However, there’s actually a plug on the base that inserts into the port. I slightly prefer this because it means that it won’t fall off my nightstand and go rolling across the floor. Or that my asshole cats can’t run off with it like they’ve been doing with my Yooo.

Anyway, A green light flashes while it charges. The soft silicone area around the charging port lights up blue when it’s in use, but the button doesn’t light up. It’s raised and embossed, so you won’t have any issues finding it.

The vibrations are both incredibly buzzy and whiny, and Bestie provides you with three incredibly buzzy levels of steady vibes in case you weren’t sure how offended your clit would be to start with. There’s a buzz-buuzzz mode,  and a pulsation that sounds like it’s an alien trying to communicate with us and a fast pulsation leading up to a slower pulse. The laughable vibrations aren’t enough to make these feel good, however. Plus, the weird noise is sooo distracting. It’s not loud, but it’s at a specific pitch that makes me want to punch someone in the junk.

I guess I think it’s cool that Vibratex has moved away from shitty toys like the Rabbit Habit, of which I broke two when I was 18, and to rechargeable silicone toys. But these are only splashproof and far overpriced for vibrations that literally feel on bar with watch-battery-powered bullets to me. Most of their battery-powered toys rely on AAAs, which I never ever like. When compared to the Magic Wand Original, which they know make, it’s obvious these toys represent the extremes with no middle ground. Boo!

And while Amie might have been a better shape for me — it’s similar to the Minna Limon — I’m sure I would still find myself underwhelmed by the power. The Limon is just $29 more. It’s expensive but well worth it in my opinion. If you’re looking for something under $100, the We-Vibe Tango at $80 is your best bet. I haven’t used the newest model, but I still rely heavily on my original Tango. I still fucking LOVE my Siri, and the Leaf Spirit also costs less than $100 at Good Vibes.

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Lip Products for Softer Skin and Better Oral

August 14th, 2014

The lovely folks at Good Vibes were kind enough to send over a tin of Smooch Me Lip Lube with my last order. This it not the first time I’ve been able to try a product like that if you recall my review of Babegloss, a liquid lip gloss and lube intended to make your lips softer, tastier and wetter. Babeland has since discontinued the product, which is a shame. I like the taste and the design. I only wish I had used it more. I still have plenty left!

Good Vibe’s take as such a product is a little more, dare I say, generic? It comes in a tin like any homemade lip gloss. Now, this isn’t a deal-breaker, but I do prefer a container that allows me to apply without getting my fingers dirty. So, I sort of just wind up sticking my lips in the tin. It’s weird, I know. Maybe I’m just being lazy.

Anyway, this gloss/lube is available in several flavors, including mint and cinnamon. I got Cherry Vanilla. It’s probably the only scent I would come to close to liking — and I do like it.  The gloss is flavored as well as scented; although it’s more artificial flavor than anything else. I wouldn’t expect much more from a product like this. The flavor can help during oral, but Smooch Me is white so it’s not making your pout look anything other than shiny.

The texture also aids in this as an oral tool. It’s softer than many lip balms in a tin, so it definitely feels more like lube. However, it’s still got the slightly-waxy balm feel. Perhaps a little less so given how how soft it is. I really like the texture and find myself reaching for it simply to moisturize my lips. But the softness makes it easier to reapply if you’re actually using it as lube and need a little more.

The final product I’d like to discuss is PinkCherry’s lip balm. You can buy it because you love the company or maybe you’ll just throw it in your cart because you’re angling for free shipping. PinkCherry’s lip balm comes in a standard-sized tin. It looks a lot like the option from Good Vibes — but smaller. It’s white, so it’s not going to tint your lips. And, yes, it’s cherry scented. Although, it’s even more artificial than the other products I’ve discussed, and there’s a weird after taste that I don’t particularly like. This balm is scented but not flavored.

While Smooch Me is soft and easy to apply, PinkCherry’s lip balm simply isn’t. It’s hard. You either have to dig into the pot with a nail or give it a pretty fierce rub to get it to melt a little. PinkCherry definitely missed the mark here, and I think this simply makes the lip balm seem pretty cheap. I mean, at only $1, it’s not going to change the world, but it’s not doing the brand any favors. Smooch Me costs seven times as much, but you get more of a better product.

To be quite frank, PinkCherry’s balm will probably go into the garbage. Or maybe I’ll do some “science” experiments with a lighter. Because who doesn’t love open flames?!

If you’re looking for a lip product that’s as versatile as these things can be, Smooch Me is your best option. However, you might simply want to opp for flavored lube, instead.

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Minna Limon

June 16th, 2014

I don’t think I can write a glowing review for the Minna Limon without writing a scathing paragraph or two about the Minna Ola, which I reviewed over a year ago but I’m not quite sure I was able to express my distaste for this toy then. And it’s only grown since then.

Both the Limon and Ola use ‘touch sensitive’ controls. The harder you squeeze it, the stronger the vibes. In theory, I like this. In practice, it’s a very specific sort of control that’s different from any other toy and when done poorly, well, you have the Ola. The problem with the Ola would simply be solved if the part that you squeeze

  1. Wasn’t a horizontal
  2. Wasn’t “flat”

Because of this design, you have to awkwardly turn your and learn how to use a new toy. Minna should have gone ahead with a bulbous/round squeezy part to begin with. That’s exactly what they did with the tear-drop-esque Limon, and that’s why I love it.  I can comfortable grasp from just about any angle, so there’s no right way to hold the Limon. This makes the vibrator heads and tails more friendly than the first toy from Minna.

Now, within the round part you grasp is a flatter mechanism so you could maybe grab it at exactly the wrong angle and not be able to get good vibes out of it, but this seems pretty unlikely, and it’s much easier to adjust without messing up the point of contact. While the Ola had a specific shape for the G-spit — you’d ideally keep it oriented one way — Limon is, well, lemon shaped. The nodule at the top is kind of nipple-like, and there’s no right or wrong. You can also lie it against your vulva, clit, nipples or what-have-you so you get more pressure from the sides.

The silicone is plush with give, which makes it comfortable to hold, and I can certainly grind right against it without worrying about sharp corners or cutting myself with my sex toys, which I’ve been known to do in the past.

What I really really really fucking love about the Limon is that squeezing doesn’t even need hands. You could squeeze it in your elbow. Or between your partner’s body and your own. Or between your thighs for hands-free stimulation. I don’t think this was the company’s intent, but Minna Limon works extremely well when used like this. Perhaps you couldn’t make it work if your thigh gap is huge, but I can just lie there, position the Limon between my legs and squeeze my thighs about it. It actually reminds me a lot of the sort of thigh squeezing I would do during adolescence when aroused. There’s something reassuring about going back to old ways.

Like Minna’s Ola, Limon has a bit of a learning curve. There are essential 3 modes:

  • Free
  • Recording
  • Playback

Squeeze harder or play with squeezing and letting go to create a freeform masturbation jam session in the first setting. This is the one I use the most. As per usual, I squeezed the thing like I was The Mountain and it was Oberyn. But I love the option to squeeze and release and create unique pulsations. If you’re the type who maybe likes the unexpected, “recording” a setting like this might be up your alley. It’s more difficult to immitate escalation, but that’s fine by me.

I found your green lantern, Hal Jordan

I found your green lantern, Hal Jordan

With a single button, Limon is easy to use. Turn it on, cycle through the modes and turn it back off. When you turn it on “Minna” lights up beneath the plush silicone. This is cute but not functional.  The light also flashes pretty brightly during charging. I can’t charge this in my bedroom while I sleep. I’d go insane. But you could use it as a freakin’ nightlight.

I’ll be honest — Limon isn’t a surprising little power house.  It’s certainly stronger than some USb-powered toys, but it doesn’t come anywhere near some of the battery-powered toys I’ve used, either. And no one would make a comparison with the Hitachi. And the first time I used it, I was pretty impressed with the strength of the vibrations given the size. They’re rumbly-ish.

However, they vibrations seemed much weaker the second time around, like the Limon wasn’t quite holding charge right. I also had a weird issue where it wasn’t quite responding right. I’d had it on for some time (30 minutes?), and it was fine after I turned it off and back on, but it would be worth noting if others run into this. I could just have a slightly glitchy vibe, of course.

Limon has two magnetic points and comes with a little based to charge. It reminds me an awful lot of the Form 2. However, the magnets are pretty strong, helping to orient the toy and base and keep it in place as it charges. If your cats run over your nightstand, it will fall out of place but it’s not nearly as finicky as other magnetic chargers. Plus, you can use it for storage. I wouldn’t because my cats eat sex toys. There’s a tiny satin bag with it. Good enough for me.

So, there you have it. Yes, I’m a finicky bitch, but yes the Limon passes the test and even surpasses my expectations in surprising ways. Some people are going to need more strength, but the ingenuity of this toy makes up where vibrations lack for the Limon in my book.

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Cosmic G Acrylic Dildo Giveaway

September 22nd, 2013

School’s back in session. THe leaves are beginning to turn. I think it’s time for another giveaway, don’t you? And what better thing to give away than the acrylic Cosmic G from Good Vibes?

Now, I must admit that I’ve never used an acrylic toy, but I bet it would be a lot like glass — slick, cool and easy to apply pressure because of the rigidity. I know y’all don’t necessarily love pink, either, but the finger-like curve on this dildo is sure to be an effective G-spotter. At $28, it’s really a good deal to begin with, and you can also use the other end for general stimulation inside and out.

If you’re looking for something prettier, try the Star Delight. The Tex in VixSkin is softer and more realistic. The 24K Double Pleasure is more versatile and not pink. There’s plenty of G-spot dildos that I’ve used and love, so I’m happy to present Of Sex and Love readers an opportunity to win a dildo instead of just reading a review.

Like I said, this one comes form Good Vibes, and I’d like to thank them for sponsoring the Cosmic G. Currently, only North American winners can enter to win this sex toy, but I hope to offer giveaways to my international readers some time in the future.

To enter the giveaway, follow the instructions in the Promo Simple form below. Your contact information allows me to contact you and get your prize to you. All other entries are optional, and you can return to repeat some of them — like a daily tweet.

If the widget doesn’t work, click here to open it in a new tab.

Giveaway ends October 21. Open to US residents.

Of Sex and Love is not responsible for delivery of giveaway prizes. I did not receive compensation for this post.

Good luck!

Good Vibes

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Ambiance Luxury Massage Candle

April 5th, 2012

The smell of the pear vanilla Ambiance candle from Good Vibes is amazing. Right out of the jar, which has its own metal lid, you smell fresh vanilla and crisp pear. It’s natural and fruity and I love it. Even after burning, the pear smells just so amazing. It makes my mouth water. Unfortunately, the vanilla becomes a little syrup-y and artificial. It reminds me a bit too much of that failed Lelo massage candle I tried not too long ago. Still, the pear works well and I’ve actually spent more time using this as a regular candle because of that.

The 11 ounce jars are definitely larger than those of some similar candles. The price of $24 is more than I’d like to pay without a coupon. For a regular scented candle, I could find one that’s cheaper. Still, it’s one of the most affordable options that Good Vibes carries, and it’s so much more affordable than Jimmyjane’s massage candles, which have always been hit-or-miss, in my experience.

The design is pretty simple. Each sent has a different label, and the product name and scent is printed in a very crispy, minimalist design on the front. The label doesn’t want to peel off of mine, without struggling, but it’s discreet. There’s also a snug lid, which can help to preserve the scent and prevent dust and dirt from settling in your wax.

I’m less than halfway done with my candle, and I’ve let it burn for several hours on a few different occasions, so it’s served me well. The product page advertises a 40-hour burn time. That’s probably on the high end, but this is definitely think it’ll last me 30 to 35 hours. It’s burned fairly evenly, which is always nice. I do have to trim the wick, which I often forget. Otherwise the wax becomes all cloudy and dirty. It seems like this wax burns at a slightly higher point than some massage candles, which isn’t a great thing. I’m always a little apprehensive to stick my hand in. It’s not scalding, but I bet some people will find it too hot.

This candle performs better than most of the candles I’ve tried recently. Still, it’s not as good as an oil. The melted wax puddles well and the first few rubs work very well. Unfortunately, as the wax cools to skin temperature, it becomes thicker and stickier. This take only a few seconds, and the wax is then causing enough friction to ruin my massage mood. Then, the Ambiance candle just feels greasy and heavy.

While I applaud the effort to provide consumers with an affordable alternative to the massage candles that are already on the market, I feel like this isn’t truly a luxury candle. I just want to run back to my beloved oils.

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