Maia Astral D3 Dong

May 12th, 2013

I’m still not sure about the naming over at Maia toys. I think perhaps something more memorable would help them out, and I kind of hate the word “dong.” But who doesn’t?

So this is the only dildo I was able to review for the company, but it’s also my favorite of the items that they sent me. The blue, or astral, is a medium sky blue. I also had a medium lavender, which I donated to a friend in need. For some reason, the box photos show a rather shiny finish, but this isn’t the case. This dildo has a satiny smooth exterior, which feels just great in my hand. It also picks up lint, but man does it feel good when I grasp it.

The shape is a bit more difficult to describe. It looks “twisted” but this dildo actually has ridges. If you’re looking at it from the side, they angle downward. There are four ridges, and while each is wide, they’re not that far off the shaft. However, you can still feel them quite well. If the contoured head, which reminds me of a number of Tantus dildos, isn’t enough to stimulated the G-spot or whichever spot you’re aiming for, the ridges will.

There is the slightest — and I mean slightest — G-spot curve. I find that the head works well enough for me, and the combination of the ridges and head should work well for most people. However, I can’t guarantee it. This thing is almost seamless. It’s super smooth, which is awesome.

The area around those ridges is the most dense of the entire toy. There’s some give but its mostly around the thinner part of the toy, above and below the area where the shaft is. All in all, I thought I wouldn’t like the size + shape + firmness, but I kind of fucking love it. It’s simple yet effective. It doesn’t require much from me, that’s awesome stuff, man.

IMAG0455To give you a better idea of size, we’re talking about 7.25 insertable inches, with a bit more length thanks to the suction cup, which sucks a lot.. in a good way. The widest part of the head has a diameter of 2 inches, but it’s oblong and narrower when you turn the dildo. Around the widest ridge, we’re talking about 1.9″. This dildo is on the larger end, and while it’s not the biggest toy you could ever play with, it’s certainly filling. The valleys on the shaft are probably 1.65″ wide or so, while it narrows to about 1.5 inches right below the head. This might not the dildo for the feint of heart or newbies.

It’s definitely the right toy for someone who likes bright colors, filling sensation and the ability to use it on a hard surface. Hey, that isn’t my thing, but there’s no judging thing. I find the suction cup provides an interesting hand hold that’s squishy and easy on the write. I like this, because the size makes it a little on the heftier side.

No matter how you use this one, you’ll need to wash it wish soap and water to rinse off any pesky dirt, lint or, as in my case, cat fur. Like every other Maia toy, this comes with a storage bag. It’s bright blue, to match the dildo, and soft and stretchy. Of course, you could store this with like material without worrying about reactions, but you’ll want to avoid silicone lube reactions if you like it.

I’ve seen this ranging from $27 to $35, and that’s a fucking awesome price. Plus, it comes in that windowed box. I like those. You know what? Go buy it, now.

3 Comments


Sensor Vibrating Vagina Balls

April 3rd, 2013

I’m not going to pull your leg. I think this is a weird toy idea to begin with, but if it had any chance of succeeding, it probably isn’t with the design that Maia Toys decided to go with — sorry guys.

So, this is a vibrator molded into something like kegel balls. The balls are coated with a velvety silicone that thins out to create a connector in the center. While it is The whole The balls are designed so that they’re flatter on one side than the other, which makes them oblong and not quite balls in reality.

The design is also a noticeably than most kegel balls. In the photo below, I’ve paired them next to my K-balls, which are roughly the same size s most “full-sized” vag balls. Ignore how much my flash washed out the colors. They measure 5″ long from end to end. At the widest, each ball has a diameter of about 1.5 inches. It’s difficult to fully measure the length of each ball because they’re oblong, but the connector in the middle is no longer than one inch.


IMAG0595-1

If you’ve already had trouble with the Luna Beads or Smartballs, then these aren’t the ones for you. I knew I wouldn’t even be able to insert both balls, so it was only one. What this means is that you’re going to be awkwardly waddling around your life if you try to keep these balls inserted for passive PC exercises as you go about your day. It’s possible with other PC exercisors, but not these. That’s a shame, because I think it really reduces their functionality.

On the other hand, if you only want to exercise your PC muscles while lying down in a comfortable position, you could grasp the outer ball and pull for a more intense workout. I’m lazy. This is the only reason I use vag balls, so this is kind of a no go for me personally. I think a single “ball” design might be easier for this idea, but then you’d have the problem of controlling it..

As this is a vibrator, you have to insert batteries and turn it on. One end of one ball is a plastic silver cap. There’s a matching “cap” on the other ball, but it’s not functional. This one runs on two LR1 batteries, which must have come with the vibrator itself because I don’t remember having any. I also don’t remember getting them. The cap uses a half-turn style, and it’s super finicky. I find it hard to get a good grip on it and turn. You have to use two hands without exception. The battery cap also serves as the controls. A partial turn locks the cap in place, but if you keep turning it, it turns on. It’s not very handy at all, and I loathe toys that I have to turn on before insertion because of poor design.

Also? I keep grabbing the wrong end to remove batteries, and I feel like I’m going to break this.

And when it’s on? The vibrations are buzzy and weak. The vibes tickles my hand. Ugh. They focus in the ball that doesn’t have the batteries, so at least it will be inserted. There’s a terrible rattle, too. On the other end, there’s this little plastic “window” that serves no purpose that I can understand. On mine, it’s not fully attached, so it sort of bounces around the casing of the ball. In fact, it does this if you just shake the toy.

Of course, there’s only a single level of vibrations, and the sound output is just unacceptable. Even if these were smaller and I could fully insert them, I would never wear them out like you might with other kegel balls. People would be like “yo, Imma let you finish, but you forgot your vibrator lady.”

You could use the Sensor Vibrating Vagina Balls without the vibrations turned on, which I’d love to recommend, but the size is going to prevent me from doing soy.

I think it’s great that Maia Toys is trying to do something with an old standby, but I’m just not sure that the company hit the nail on the head with this idea.

2 Comments


Maia Toys Giveaway

March 13th, 2013

Who doesn’t love a new sex toy company? If you’ve read anything that I post here, then you know I like new things. I like new ideas and companies and I things different. Maia Toys is not only a new company, but it’s one that has bright yellow vibrators and kegel balls, and I think this is worth noting even though I hate yellow. I just know how much you guys like different, and I’m totally cool with that.

Vibrating Kegel Balls

Also, who doesn’t love a new company that’s willing to work with bloggers and will send you an entire box crammed to the gills with said vibrators and dildos? Welp. I love that. Maybe you won’t. Especially if your in laws open the box. This was not an issue for me, of course.

There’s a few other things that I like about this company:

  • They make silicone items
  • Their designs have clean lines
  • Teal!
  • Maia Toys offers a 90-day warranty

The current lineup has a handful of kegel balls, dildos and vibrators. I want sent the single G-spot vibrator, the vibrator kegel balls and the twisty dildo. To be honest, the naming confuses me a bit because Maia Toys uses names for the colors  such as “porpora” for purple. The site describe items by type, but the package uses a number code like D3 for the silicone dildo. Still, I enjoy the designs.

What does this mean for you, dear reader? Only good things. This entire post is leading up to your very own chance to win not one but two items from Maia Toys. I have in my possession two toys to ship out: the vibrating kegel balls and the G-spot vibrator, both in bright freakin’ yellow. Now, the vibrator is pretty straight up, but the kegel balls are something a little new. It’s an exerciser with inner balls and a motor, which makes the whole thing a little different and more stimulating than your generic vag balls. It’s not for everyone, but you won’t be out anything if you win this giveaway because it’s free.

To enter this giveaway, please use the PromoSimple form below. The giveaway is open the US and Canadian residents as I am personally shipping this. All entrants must type in address, which I will only even look at if you win. I won’t share any personal information. If you’d like the form to remember your information, log in with your email address.

Maia Toys Vibrators

Sometimes the form doesn’t load. Click here to view it in its own window.

Giveaway ends April 14.

Good luck!

12 Comments