Minna’s kGoal Kegel Exerciser and Its 4 Fatal Flaws

January 3rd, 2017

kGoal
$149 from Minna Life

You’re not going to find many negative reviews of Minna’s kGoal, and I think that’s because it works for most people. But it didn’t work for me. Not technologically. Not shapewise. Not at all, and I think it’s important for people who have similar bodies and preferences as me to know what they’re getting into. Because what they want is a smart toy that helps them exercise their PC muscles, not an exercise in frustration.

By now, you all know that kGoals uses Bluetooth to connect to your device. It contains sensors that measure the strength, and the app (for Android and iOS) includes “games” to help you get your reps in without boring to death.

But there are a few problems with kGoals.

1. Bluetooth

Any wireless technology struggles with physical barriers. It’s why pretty much any remote-controlled vibrator is terrible, why WiFi signals decreases the further you are from the router and why cell reception is so difficult to find in rural areas.

Your body is a pretty big physical impediment to wrap directly around a Bluetooth-enabled device, and I quickly found this out with the kGoal. It works best when you connect before insertion, which makes sense. But sometimes even that wouldn’t work. And while some of my devices would connect, not all of them would.

Once it was connected — and I only had it connected successfully during insertion twice tops — the connection is prone to drop because of these same issues. Of course, you’ll need to drop your phone, remove the toy, clean lube from your fingers, reconnect the device, reinsert it and get back into position. It’s a fucking hassle.

2. Random Account Issues

I cannot explain how awesome Minna was at answering my questions. When I attempted to use kGoal with my new phone — because my mmold one doesn’t turn on —  I couldn’t even sign in. There was some account error, and they told me to sign up again.

Of course, this would lose any information I had from my previous account, meager as it were. If this problem persists, then it could wipe out a lot of user data between devices.

Also, I’m pretty sure I’m still waiting on an email and can’t even log in soooo =/

3. Shape and Size

Listen, I know that my pubic bone doesn’t run exactly the same as other women. It’s why I don’t need very much of a curve for G-spot stimulation and why the Pure Wand totally didn’t work for me. It’s also why most kegel balls are too damn large and feel pinchy.

Now, you also need to understand the design of the kGoal to understand why it also won’t work for my anatomy. The kGoal looks like a dual stimulator, and the arms are quite flexible from one another with the external part being rather flat.

The insertable portion is coated in essentially a balloon of silicone that expands with air and compresses with force (of your vagina or hand). It feels more similar to the Minna Ola than the Limon.

https://twitter.com/adriana_r/status/816236453214699521

There’s a very narrow shaft in this, but the head is rounded and very firm beneath the silicone. It is also huge. I mean, it shouldn’t be. I’ve taken larger cocks and toys, but they weren’t rigid.

Minna’s kGoal always hurts going in and it gets stuck behind my pubic bone when I want the damned thing out. I know that Minna tried that damnedest to work with the actual human body, but we’re not all identical.

Unfortunately, I think you’re not going to know whether this works for you until you try it but if you have a similarly pronounced pubic bone as I do, I might advise against the financial and physical risk you’re taking with kGoal.

4. Vibration

I don’t know. They say it’s supposed to be pleasurable. Maybe the pitiful vibration would be better for someone who didn’t feel like the crotch was in a Chinese finger trap/lobster claw/C clamp (choose your metaphor).

You can use the thing for pleasure or for exercise without the app, but it really takes away from the innovation and usefulness if you’re just relying on the vibration.

So once you get it inserted, if you can get comforted and connected, you open up the app and play some games. There are two simple games that requires squeezing to accomplish tasks. “Game” might even be giving them more credit than they deserve. Activities? Regardless, it’s harder than you might think, and it’s great for giving you feedback about how you use your PC muscles.

You set goals for how often you want to work out, and the app will remind you. These are all pretty good features.

But the problem with kGoal is there are so many damn “ifs” to get to that point, and it’s difficult to pinpoint how to minimize them. I cannot in good conscience recommend a toy this costly with so many risks.

Does kGoal sound like something you’d like? Are you okay with a really innovative and costly paperweight? If so, buy it. If not, buy anything else.

4 Comments

Categories: Reviews, Sexual Health and Beauty, Vibrators

Marilyn

October 29th, 2012

Berman Weighted Pelvic Exerciser Marilyn

Berman Weighted Pelvic Exerciser Marilyn

This is a discontinued product, but you can try a smart Kegel trainer or Kegel balls to improve muscle function.

I haven’t had a lot of luck with the other Dr Berman toys I’ve tried. They’re frequently poor quality and inferior materials. Many of them items seem like there were design by someone who has no idea what a man or woman truly wants from a sex toy, let alone a so-called expert. In fact, I have thrown out every single Dr. Berman toy I’ve had a chance to try, so I don’t have high hopes for them. If you’re getting the picture that I wouldn’t have personally chosen to buy this dildo/PC exerciser, then you’re right.

But, I think this toy is probably less of an abomination than every other toy in the line. However, it could definitely use some improvements. Let’s start with the obvious. This is made of resin. I assume it’s something like acrylic. Every once in a while, you see a toy made of this hard material. On EF’s scales, it’s rated a 9, so it’s not horrible, but I think it is confusing. So the toy seems similar to but not quite like glass. That is, it’s clear, smooth and rigid. It sounds like plastic if you hit it with a nail, though. The density isn’t quite the same.

I think it’s also a little lighter than glass, but I’m not positive. I don’t know if this is actually working against the design. You see, California Exotics has included two weighted stainless steel balls in either end of the toy. One of obviously larger and heavier than the other. The intent is to use this is a pelvic muscle exerciser, but I think perhaps the weight of glass could have helped this, reducing or even eliminating the need for the balls themselves. Maybe I’m wrong, but I find the material choice curious.

I’m also not sold on the design. I recognize that this isn’t supposed to be a dildo per se, but I’m betting that most people will want it to be versatile. The end with the larger internal ball has a single row of nubs that run around the circumference. It’s got no texture at all. I like rows of nubs or, preferably, ridges that wrap around the entire shaft. I’m not much of a fan of such a difference between texture and lack thereof, so this isn’t my thing.

The other side of the shaft also has some interesting texture, but I’m having a hard time describing it. If you look at it head on from the end, it looks a bit like a star. There are elongated dimples that are about an inch or so long running down the length of the shaft. This results in angled ridges. Most ridges tend to be more square or round, at least in my experience. This is unique, but I think it looks cooler than it is.

The rest of the shaft is completely smooth. It tapers toward the center, so either end is wider. Both ends come to a rounded point, and it seems like the one on the nubby end is a little more rounded, but it could just be shorter. That end seems significantly smaller, even though it holds the larger internal ball. I think it’s just my eyes playing tricks on me though. It is smaller, but not by much. The smaller end measures about 1.4″ in diameter, while the larger end measures a little over 1.5″ in diameter. The product description says 1.25″, but that doesn’t match any measurement I took. The thinnest part is less than an inch wide, so I’ve no idea.

Sizewise, this could work for people who like smaller toys, but because the ends are larger, there’s no tapering to help you out. This isn’t really for pleasure in that way. Ideally, you’d start with the larger end with the smaller ball for PC exercises. You could pull with your fingers while using your muscles to play tug of war or simply insert and squeeze. I suppose if you were so inclined, you could walk around with it inserted, but I’m not. Then, you’d move to the smaller end, which would require better trained muscles and which, in theory, result in more of a workout because of the weightier ball.

But therein lies the keyword: workout. I don’t have the time or effort to be so conscientious about my PC muscles, and I don’t think it’s necessary for me. If you experience more difficulties with bladder control or have just given birth, you might be more concerned than I am. Perhaps this “Weighted Pelvic Exerciser” might be more up your alley or your doctor would recommend something similar. Then again, I’m not sure why you couldn’t just use a regular dildo or, if you’re lazy like me, some kegel balls might be better for passive exercise. I’m just saying.

In terms of quality, there’s no seams. Ease of use? Yep. Versatility? Eh, not so much. Cleaning and care? As easy as glass or hard plastic. I’d you could use any lube with this, but I’m not really sure. So information? Cal Exotics is pretty lacking there. Still, this toy doesn’t seem to do much that one of my glass dildos does, and I can use them to get off or squirt, too. However, it’s definitely the least offensive in the Berman line, so there’s that.

CEN Sexpert

10 Comments

Categories: Dildos, Reviews

Ophoria K-balls #10

May 29th, 2009

Ophoria K-balls
$20 from Amazon

These Kegel exercisers remain in my top three nearly a decade later. Read on to find out more.

I feel it would be appropriate were this review accompanied by Tom Cruise singing “goodness, gracious, great balls of fire”. All silliness aside, Ophoria’s Smooth K-Balls are pretty great even if they’re not flaming (and that actually might be for the best). And now I can say I have balls.

Ophoria packaged the K-balls in a sleek pink and white box with some feminine details. It’s very modern and looks like a department store package so I could imagine it being sold retail in Younkers or something (is that reference too geographic? You could replace that with Macy’s). There’s a plastic window in front so you can see the pair of pink vaginal exercisers in all their glory. The balls themselves are not quite the same shade of pink as on the box; I think the box is a little prettier and the balls almost seem dull sometimes but it doesn’t detract from their use even if it sort of offends my sense of aesthetics.

Ophoria didn’t include a lot of information with their K-balls and they could expand on that. The box lets us know they’re 1000% silicone, non-porous, can be cleaned with soap and water and boasts of the strong stimulation and ergonomic design. The included instructions also serve as a product catalog. There are some generic instructions about not using any toys which appear broken, not submerging them or using them while menstruating. There are some good tips about how sex toys can transmit STDs and making sure to clean all crevices but not using brushes or abrasive solutions. There’s nothing in the way of how to get the best use out of this specific product.

So it might be a good thing that I’ve experienced kegel balls a time or two. In fact, you may remember my review of the Luna Beads and, to be honest, I wasn’t blown away. They weren’t very stimulating and I thought the whole concept of 2 weighted balls was hokey. Luckily, the K-balls are much more stimulating. In fact, I’d say I can even feel more movement from the inner balls – or “shakers” as the package calls them – in hand. I think the shakers might be a bit smaller but since the exterior is opaque, I don’t know for sure. The balls themselves are the same size at the Luna Beads, with a diameter of 1 3/8″ but the K-balls are slightly longer.

Speaking of the exterior, the pink K-balls have white-ish circle and triangle shapes. These shapes seem to be raised slightly but are only for looks as my vagina certainly can’t feel them. The hard silicone isn’t exactly smooth and has that typical, silicone texture which may make for more friction than smooth plastic but insertion was pretty easy with a little water-based lube. I find the second ball is always a little more difficult because I have to rely on the connecting material, which is flexible, to push up the higher ball. Once inserted, the balls don’t remain straight either; they sort of bunch up next to each other but it’s not uncomfortable (the lower ball will pop out, however, if they’re not situated correctly).

In fact, it’s the pleasurable stimulation I get from the K-balls which earns them a much higher rating than the Luna Beads. After initial insertion, the K-balls seem to rest directly against my G-spot and stimulate arousal. Since few toys have successfully and consistently stimulated my G-spot, this is quite the feat! I’m not sure if it’s the “vibration” of the inner balls, which I can feel (and even hear sometimes) or the exterior of the balls rubbing against my sensitive spots but the first minutes after insertion are always pleasurable.

I can definitely feel the “vibration”, too. I have a habit of doing this silly sort of ass-shaking move to make the K-balls vibrate (which I’m sure my husband would enjoy). This actually made me think that it might be a good idea to pop these in before going dancing! These ease of popping these in before any activity or even if you have nothing planned is appealing. And, even if the K-balls don’t strengthen my muscles, they feel good and being able to feel the vibration reminds me to do my Kegels here and there. I tend to pop them in before taking walks and do a couple squeezes while waiting to cross the street or in line at the store. But if you want to be more proactive about your muscle strengthening, you can always clench around one or both balls, while tugging on the string with a finger.

I can’t say for sure if my muscles are any stronger. I think that’s easier to tell with a partner – which I don’t have right now. I can say that I have used these balls, in a few short weeks, more than I’ve used the Luna Beads in the months I’ve had them. Both sets of vaginal balls made me more aware of my vagina but the K-balls also makes me feel good which is that much more incentive to use them.

After you’re done, you can easily remove the K-balls with the silicone-coated string with connects to the “lower” ball. Actually, the lower ball is slightly pointed at the bottom so it’s not a complete “ball”. Unlike the Luna Beads, the K-balls don’t tend to get all suction-stuck in my pussy and the coated string doesn’t cut into my finger. Unfortunately, that is a tiny crack in the coating of the string on my balls. I noticed it after using because the crack is so tiny so it’s possible that I somehow caused it or that it came this way and I just didn’t notice. Fortunately, it hasn’t grown any and I’m still comfortable using the K-balls.

After use, K-balls are easy to wash with soap and water. Silicone is dishwasher safe but I’m not entirely sure about the K-balls. The box says they’re splash proof but I don’t see why they couldn’t be fully submerged as they lack mechanical parts. The K-balls are also easy to dry and don’t seem to pick up lint. I do wish they came with a storage pouch – I stole the one that came with my Luna Beads to keep them all nice and cozy and protected from other toys.

In the end, I was much more impressed by Ophoria’s K-balls than other vaginal balls I’ve tried. These high-quality exercisers are not only easy to use but are actually a fun and pleasurable way to raise body awareness and, hopefully, strengthen PC muscles. With a little more information provided and a storage pouch, I’d say the K-balls are an A+.

7 Comments

Categories: Reviews, Sexual Health and Beauty

Image © MisterUnlucky; used with permission.