Waterproof Power Stud Cliterrific

December 29th, 2012

So, I never would have picked this toy by myself. I think the fact that CEN calls it a “dong” is a good indicator of that. It’s essentially a realistic dildo with a vibrator mechanism added in as an afterthought. It’s got veins, a head and some strange bumps that really evoke the image of a dude who shaved about a week ago and is kind of prickly. This isn’t starting off very favorable, is it? I

To be honest. I have nothing positive to say about this one. I’m far too tired to fake it with a vibrator, okay?

It might look realistic ish. If bright pink and pitch black ever are. And the size is about right with 6″ or so of insertable length. But it doesn’t feel realistic. The PVC — again, not my choice — is very plasticy. The product description calls it soft, but it’s soft in the way that plastic is. It’s nothing like silicone. It doesn’t feel good. The veins and head are lost on me because it’s just ick. In your hand, you can tap it with a finger and hear the hardness of the PVC . I don’t know how the hell this made it past the inspection process.

I mean, at least it doesn’t collect lint? I don’t know.

That’s not the only incredibly offensive thing about this toy. Y’all know that I like some power and depth to my vibrators. I shy away from any that take AAA batteries because of this. When I forget, I am always disappointed. The Layaspot is the only exception to this rule ever. With 2AAs, I figured I might not hate this.

Guess what?

I was wrong.

For starters, the control is on the side of the shaft. It points up when this is inserted with the ridiculous nubs upward. When you consider that a) the shaft doesn’t bend or flex and b) I’m not going to insert this down to the giant testicle base, they’re useless, but I digress.

The button on the side of the shaft gives you three levels of steady vibes and they all suck. Or blow. Or fucking rot. Pick one. They’re stupidly week. Like trying to get off by sticking your vulva toward the wind. I don’t even know what that means, but it would probably work better than this.

I gave up in thirty seconds. I’m sorry. This just isn’t a good toy at all.

Maybe you can use this waterproof vibe to clean your tub. I don’t know. Please don’t buy it. If you really want realistic, anything by Vixen is a better bet. While the BOB has the stupid nubs, it at least feels better. The Posh Teaser 2 is definitely stronger, prettier and ultimately more useful in my book, too, if you need something cheap!
CEN Sexpert