U Touch Down

June 17th, 2013

The second piece in the U Touch line is a gently-curving internal vibrator called the Touch Down. Topco graciously sent me this in addition to the Touch Up, which I previously reviewed. That vibrator was constructed well and reminded me of Siri, but I really do like Lelo’s offerings better. The Touch Up doesn’t look all that different from Lelo’s Liv or the similar vibe by Sportsheets. There is a version with a more pronounced head, but I don’t need that for G-spot stimulation.

Aside from the shape, there’s really nothing different between the Touch Up and Touch Down. They have the same packaging, for example. I didn’t post the photos from the Touch Up because I wanted to do the comparison shots with Siri, but you can see them here. There’s an outer cardboard sleeve, and inside of this is a thicker box that opened with flaps.

IMAG0834-1Magnets inside the flaps open to reveal the vibrator on the right and the adapter and instructions on the left. These items are in a thin box inside a narrow divider. The use of space seems a little weird because much of it is empty. Overall the presentation is nice, but it’s not really functional. I mean, the box is big and clunky and there’s no storage pouch. I really prefer a pouch to any other method of storage, and the lack there-of seems like an incredibly oversight here. Get it together, guys.

I do like the design though. It’s gentle and middle-of-the-line in terms of size. It’s easy to hold and reaches my g-spot; although, you might need something more drastic if yours is tucked further behind your pubic bone. There’s about 5 inches to insert with a few inches of hard plastic as the base where the controls sit. The base tapers to this narrow, almost-flat shape that I actually find easy to hold and maneuver.

With a girth of 1.3″, this toy is easy to insert with a little bit of lube and no warmup. It’s not the toy for a size queen, however. The silky silicone does not have a discernible seam to the touch. I like how it feels in my hand, but it collects lint. Duh. I shouldn’t even have to say this in reviews anymore. Let’s just call it “that lint sucking material.”

Topco uses slightly thicker layers of silicone where the toy bulges out at the G-spot area, so it’s a bit softer. However, the whole thing is softer in general than you might imaging from the photos. I’m not talking squishy and bendable, but a little give if you really squeeze it. If you find other toys a little too poky, this might be a better design for you. Overall, I prefer the design of the Touch Down to the Touch Up.

IMAG0837-1

Like I said, the toy itself is pink and white. It looks slick, I must admit.Sure, there’s no cool colors, but you’re sticking it inside you. Who cares? The LED control panel looks cool, but it suffers from the exact same issues that I had with the Touch Up. It’s just not intuitive. There’s some good ideas, but the implementation is lacking.

You’d think that the four-button setup is pretty easy, and there is a + button as well as a – button. The other two cycle through other settings, too. However, the + button doesn’t turn on vibrations. Instead, you have to hold the up and down arrows simultaneously for a few seconds to turn it on and off. This is completely lacking in intuitiveness in my opinion. I should be able to turn it on by simply pressing the + button and turn it off by pressing the -.

What makes it worse is that all the toys in the U Touch line come with the same, generic instruction manual that doesn’t actually talk about the toy itself. It has general instructions for inserting batteries, when there are none. Nowhere does it say that you have to press both buttons to turn on the toy. There is a note about how the toy locks, and I do have to say that I like this feature. It locks while it’s on after five seconds of disuse. Because I frequently accidentally turn off vibes, I like this feature. Pressing the + and – buttons simultaneously unlocks it. Of course, I find that I have to stop playing and raise the toy to my face to see those buttons. Sadly, there’s no indication that you’ve turned it from locked to unlocked, which is pretty inconvenient.

IMAG0835-1I do still prefer this one, and it’s under $100. I wish I had Liv or a similar G-spot vibe to compare power. I don’t need much on my G-spot, so I don’t think that I can accurately be the litmus test for consumers at large. That.. and a litmus test doesn’t use female ejaculate. Har har.

However, I did compare it to all the other G-spot vibes I had handy and charged and.. the Touch Down was weaker than all of them on their lower settings than its highest.

  • The Form 6 G3 might be slightly weaker at its lower settings but is deeper
  • The highest setting of Touch Down is comparable to the third or fourth setting on the Mona. My Mona 2 is dead.
  • Minna Ola, which is really too weak for me, is stronger.
  • The Key Ceres and Nomi Tang Getaway.

As you can see, I couldn’t find a single toy that was weaker, and it was hard enough to find one that was on par with the U Touch Down’s power output. Really, none of the vibes on this list, save for the Form 6 G3, are anything more than middle-of-the-line. So, there’s that.

This isn’t a loud toy by any means, but it does seem to run at a put that’s just a little bit louder than you’d expect. Will your parents bust down the door because “What are you cutting with a chainsaw?” No. Then again, I doubt they’ll rescue you from your throes of passion due to the Touch Down.

I wanted to love this toy, and while I don’t hate it, it’s just not wooing me.

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