Crazy Girl Diva Dust

March 18th, 2012

Crazy Girl Diva Dust

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You can no longer buy this product.

The last of the bath and body items I received from Classic Erotica was the Crazy Girl Diva Dust. Like the other items I reviewed, these all focus on sensuality that is conducive to sexuality. Admittedly, body dust isn’t something I would necessarily pick out for myself. I’ve never really bronzed and I don’t always want to be full of glitter. However, it’s something I can see myself occasionally using, now that I’ve had the chance to try it out.The Crazy Girl Diva Dust is not only a shimmery dust but it’s flavored as well. Anything that gets me a lick is a-okay in my book.

Like the other Crazy Girl products, this one is paraben-free, sugar-free, sulfate-free and not tested on animals. If you are on some sort of anti-sugar diet, then licking this off your lover won’t hurt you. According to the manufacturer’s description, this little tub of powder has a lot of powers:

Base of cornstarch, talc and mica for softness plus an even tone to skin upon application. Vitamin C antioxidant helps in collagen production, revitalizes improves skin tone and texture. Aloe Vera Leaf Extract skin soothing, moisturizing agent. Sexy sparkle and shine to accentuate your best assets. Light body shimmer powder designed to give skin a sensual sparkle and glow.

There are some known dangers to inhaling talcum powder, and I do believe that proponents can point out other potential dangers. However, for my infrequent use, this isn’t something that bothers me. I can’t say that this product improves my skin tone or make it softer. It’s already soft enough when I apply it, right out of the shower. What I can say that it does it adds a hint of flavor and a lot of sparkle.

Crazy Girl Diva Dust

The tub has a screw-off cap and, inside sits a powder puff over the powdered-sugar style container. The small holes allow you to shake the container to apply the product to the puff itself. You can shake off excess product back into the container. There was a sticker seal over the holes when I first received the body dust, so it’s not messy when you first buy it. On the puff, the dust has a hint of color. They call it gold but it’s a shimmery tan. Really, I can only see the glitter on my skin, so I think that this would work on any skin tone, really. The shimmer is super noticeable, however. It’s probably best for wearing at night.

The light sweet taste is accompanied by a similar scent. It’s pleasant but a bit generic. There’s no syrup-y aftertaste/aftersmell, though. The smell isn’t really strong enough to notice over other scented products. I wouldn’t mind tasting it on someone, and the glitter is a good indicator to “lick here.”

I did apply some of this to my sensitive inner thighs after shaving to see if it might help with irritation that I sometimes experience. I don’t know if it helped, but it didn’t hurt.

I’m feeling pretty favorable about this product. It’s light, it’s sweet, it shimmers. It is something I would save for specific occasions, however. I can’t see myself running out any time soon. On the plus side, it’s far cheaper than the honey dusts by Shunga or Kama Sutra, so it’s a nice alternative for someone who wants just a bit of flavored product at a lower price.

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Categories: Reviews, Sexual Health and Beauty

Cake Body Butter

December 28th, 2011

Cake Body Butter

Cake Body Butter

Thankfully, this terrible product is no longer available.

It’s fucking perplexing is what it is. How did TopCo come up with the Cake line of body products? How did they design them so gorgeously? How did they plant the idea into my head that I needed them? And how the hell did they create body butters that smell rancid?

If you don’t live in a barn or Afghanistan, then you know I’ve been wanting to try these products for a while. I did try the lipgloss and it was all right. It didn’t put me off, though! I’ll just try a different product, a different scent. Surely I’ll like some of it?! So I was pretty damned excited when the folks at OurNaughtySecrets scent me not one but three of the body butters. I was all kid-in-a-candy shop when I opened the box because, in my opinion, Topco really struck it out of the park with this line.

The packaging is all feminine colors and cartoon pin-ups, reminiscent of a simpler time. Each scent features a different girl and color scheme. For instance, red velvet is pink and boasts a bosomy blonde who reminds me, ever-so-slightly, of Nancy Drew. Y’know, if she were a bosomy blonde who wanted to suck my cock.

The lotion comes in jars but the jars themselves sit in little cardboard boxes that open from the top, like bakery boxes. Except for the Angel Food Cake. That one has some weird hanging box design that is awkward. Still, the design is cute and the jars themselves have metal lids which already remind me of something you’d find in the kitchen or bakery.


Then you open them up and SWEET MOTHER OF JESUS CHRIST WHAT THE FUCK IS THE ATROCITY I AM GOING TO KILL MYSELF THRICE!!!! AAAHHUYTTRFDQWGWQGARGLE! And that is putting it nicely. Something went horribly, horribly, God-awfully wrong with the actual formula. The body butters smell rancid. There’s no other way to put it. I’m not entirely sure that the ingredients didn’t somehow start to ferment as the product sat in a warehouse and on trucks during shipping. Or maybe no one smelled the products after the final testing phase. Either way, it.is.bad.guys.

The weird box for Angel Food Cake

The Devil’s Food cake smells like rancid chocolate. Like you made some pudding, let it rot for a year and a half while you were in a coma, came home and thought “Hey, maybe it’s still good.” It’s not. The red velvet smells startlingly similar; although, it’s more generically sweet and rancid. To be honest, it’s kind of hard to pin down what red velvet actually smells like and I couldn’t even describe the taste but I’m sure this is not it.

The Angel Food doesn’t actually smell rancid. It could be getting there, though. There’s just a hint of something that I don’t like so while I am going to throw away the body butters in the other scents, I will probably try to use this one. Once I put it on, the scent seems much more balanced. It’s got a kind of vanilla/white-cake smell going on but there’s a definite hint of something like hazelnut which doesn’t belong. I had the same complaint about the lip gloss so.. at least they got it wrong consistently? It’s not awful, though, just nuttier than I’d like.

The body butter is thick and whipped. It’s fun. It rubs into the skin nicely, rather than slathering about on top of it, and does leave my skin faster. However, the containers are only about half full. Perhaps Topco meant to only fill it to below the brim but it’s shifted in transit and has moved to only one half of the jar.

So, the jars are super cute and after I empty them, I will definitely want to put stuff in them. Like pennies, except I have this awesome change counting jar. What the hell should I do with the cute containers from the awful atrocities Topco calls Cake?

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Categories: Reviews, Sexual Health and Beauty

Cake Lip Plumper

May 9th, 2011

Cake Lip Plumper Angel Food

Cake Lip Plumper Angel Food

This product has been discontinued since I originally reviewed it.

I don’t know about you but I own a lot of lip glosses. I don’t know why exactly. I just love when my lips are shiny and shimmery and smell good, even if I’m not being kissed. I expected that I’d love the Cake lip plumper because I also love sweets.

This plumper comes in a .20 fl ounce tube with the typical lip gloss applicator. The tube is a little smaller than most of them I own but that’s not a bad thing necessarily. The design is super cute: black and liht teal with red accents. The tube and box feature a pin-up style woman and even the font alludes to a previous time.

The product makes a couple claims. 1) It tingles. This is pretty accurate. You can definitely feel the plumper at work after you apply it. If you’ve used other lip plumping products, then you’ll be familiar with the feeling. It can get a little uncomfortable so you may want to be pretty sparse with our applications at first.

Secondly, the product is scented. I received the Angel Food Cake scent; however, there are other cake scents available. My biggest complaint with the product is that it does not smell like angel food cake. There’s a distinct mocha sort of scent and, as I’m not a fan of coffee, this is both confusing and a turn-off.

At least it’s not as terrible as the rancid-smelling body butters in this line.

Lastly, the Cake Lip Plumper is supposed to taste like cake. Let me tell you this: the cake is a lie. It is not flavoured. It tastes like wax, which is typical of many lip products. Thus, you won’t want to run around licking your lips the way you would when wearing VS lip gloss. Just sayin’. Nevertheless, this lip gloss is far less sticky than any I’ve tried by VS, which I do like.

Appearance wise, the Cake gloss adds shine but no color. As for the plumping abilities, I can’t say that I noticed much of a difference and this obviously isn’t intended to have permanent effects.

I’d still be satisfied with this product if I enjoyed the scent and I suspect that I probably would enjoy some of the other scents (cookie dough, devils food), if they’re actually what you would expect. The Lip Plumper is decent as a lip product, with vitamins E and C. I just wish the angel food scent was accurate.

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Categories: Reviews, Sexual Health and Beauty

Simply Sensual Candle Pomegranate

February 24th, 2011

Simply Sensual Candle Pomegranate

Simply Sensual Candle Pomegranate
$8.05 from Store.OfSexAndLove.com

Have you ever had one of those days where you just failed to read the fine print? This is what happened when I decided I would enjoy the “Simply Sensual Candle Pomegranate.” Except it’s not pomegranate. It’s pomegranate ginger and that doesn’t sound appealing to me at all. But, the trooper that I am, I opened up this candle tin and gave it a giant whiff.

And almost died.

The candle itself smells like chemicals and soap. Just awful. I had to make myself light it. And I did and.. it wasn’t so bad. The fruity hints of pomegranate became noticeable, if a bit light for my tastes. The ginger in this candle is hard to detect at all. It’s a very recognizable smell and it just didn’t exist. Just when I was thinking that this was maybe not a catastrophe after all, and trying to enjoy the light fruity scent, the soapy smell came back. At the point of massage, the soapy scent is at its strongest and I am at my most annoyed.

Another thing I noticed was the oil seems to be quite thick and dry feeling. I’ve used other massage candles that are quite slick but the slickness quickly dissipates with this particular brand. Once I’m done using it, I also feel as though I absolutely must wash my hands and, while they do feel soft and moisturized, I am not fond of feeling like something is caked on my hands.

Although this candle is all natural and includes ingredients such as soy, and hempseed and coconut oil, I’d prefer something with a few more chemicals as long as it improved upon my experience. One last thing I noticed is that this burns really sloppily. The wick does the cracking and peeling and curling thing so you absolutely must trim it to avoid the charred with from falling into the wax itself and further ruining your experience. I don’t know much about candle wicks but, after using this product, I think I’m much more likely to stick with higher end massage candles or products like Kama Sutra’s Oil of Love. And that’s a shame because this four-ounce candle comes in a tin that is actually much cuter than most candle tins. All the different scents feature a modern and clean label with colors specific to the scent.It just seems like the quality of massage candles in tins is really inconsistent.

3 Comments

Categories: Massage, Reviews

Oil of Love – Raspberry Kiss

September 4th, 2009

Oil of Love - Raspberry Kiss

Oil of Love - Raspberry Kiss
$10.72 from Amazon

What can I say about Kama Sutra products that hasn’t already been said? Their name is synonymous with sensuality and products are known for quality. So to say I was expecting an awesome product with their Oil of Love is an understatement, especially considering that I have literally wanted the product for years. It was one of the very first products I considered buying when my husband and I wanted to try new things with our sex life. I’m glad I finally tried the Oil of Love, even if it took years for me to do so and I can say without hesitation that this is one of the few products that is better than I expected.

Like other Kama Sutra products, the Oil of Love came in the green/gold tin, slightly smaller than a soda can, with a black cap. This tin was also in anopen-endedd plastic bag but, unfortunately, neither of those was sealed at the cap had popped off and was floating loose in the box. Inside the tin was the glass jar containing the oil, which is corked shut and sealed with plastic. Despite the seal, the bottle did feel slippery, as though it had oil on it already. I gave it a wipe down before opening to ensure the bottle wouldn’t slip out of my hands and break or spill all over. The only adornment on the bottle is a stick/band which goes around it with a floral motif and the Kama Sutra logo/Oil of Love label on the front. What you mostly see is a gorgeous dark fuchsia colour of the oil itself and while it might be a bit more purple than I would expect for something raspberry, it’s gorgeous to look through the liquid.

After breaking the seal and popping the cork (which doesn’t require anything near the strength of a wine bottle, thankfully), the scent isn’t immediately noticeable. Overall, I found the scent to be light and refreshing, never overpowering. The scent becomes discernible after a bit of friction by either rubbing the oil in my hands or on another body part. It was also much more noticeable to me as a massage giver than receiver, probably because I kept leaning forward to kiss and lick my husband’s back. As the receiver, I was a little disappointed that I could not smell it better, though.

Unfortunately, I have to say that this smells nothing at all like a kiss of raspberry as the scent – Raspberry Kiss – would suggest. It smells wonderful and sweet but not berry-like in the least. In fact, I think a perfect suggestion for this scent would be vanilla cotton candy and my husband agrees. It’s a great scent, just misleading.

So I mentioned the kissing and licking, yes? It’s because the Oil of Love is also flavoured! The Oil of Love have a sweet flavour that is reminiscent and very complimentary to it’s scent (in this case, vanilla cotton candy), to provide that much more experience. Really, it almost tastes like candy and I have half a mind to drink the bottle, but won’t.

But that’s not all!

It also warms upon blowing which just adds another element of excitement to your massage. I don’t think this property was as noticeable to my husband or myself as the receiver but I definitely noticed the heat on my mouth/face when I leaned down to blow. This could just be because our backs are not as sensitive and I know that the fan was on during my massage so it may have been a little counterproductive. Kissing and licking also seemed to activate the heat so that’s another plus.

We’re not into giving really long massages and you probably won’t get hours out of one application of the Oil of Love as it is a bit thicker/heavier (that is, if you don’t lick it all off first). I probably massaged between 10 and 20 minutes with one application and it definitely made it easier to manipulate my husband’s skin. When it was my turn, it also improved his – usually awful – technique and helped him to not be so rough (although I’m still training him). It did get a bit sticky on my hands toward the end but we were both able to dress without feeling the need to wash off the oil from our skins.

I found that it really doesn’t work very well for hand jobs. It becomes too sticky for the quick motions and works much better for a luxurious massage. While the tin states that this product is latex safe (because it’s water and not oil based as one might think(, it also warns not to use it internally so I would shy away from using it as actual lube.

You’ll be relieved to know that Oil of Love is non-staining, too, because, no matter how hard I try, I am a messy person. After massage time was over, I noticed pinky spots on the bed from the oil but they washed out in the laundry just fine.

I am more than blown away with this product, in the end. The few shortcomings absolutely pale in comparison to the scent, flavour, warming and non-staining properties. While Oil of Love may not be the perfect product for hours of massage, it couldn’t be more perfect for us.

3 Comments

Categories: Massage, Reviews

Babegloss

June 15th, 2009

Babegloss

Babegloss

Babeland no longet sells Babegloss.

Babegloss is the first product I’ve had a chance to own out of Babeland’s own line of products. I have to admit, I think the idea of lip gloss which is also lube is pretty damned sneaky and naughty in all the right ways. I was hesitant to try the Pomegranate as I recently had a bad experience with something claiming to be that scent.

Lucky for me, Babeland seems to be pretty smart about their scents. This lipgloss smells great (at least at first). I don’t know if it’s true to the scent of the actual fruit but it’s fruity in general and very pleasant. Unfortunately, the lip gloss is not also flavoured and I think that is almost necessary for an awesome lip gloss. It doesn’t really have much of a flavour at all. Another downside is that the smell fades very quickly. Very. Within a matter of minutes, the smell is gone. I don’t really want to have to reapply that often.

Still, it works pretty nicely as a lipgloss. It comes in in a hefty glass tube so it’s a little heavier than some glosses. My scent is a glittery, translucent pink which leaves my lips shiny and shimmery but doesn’t add a lot of colour. It rolls on with a ball applicator which has never become stuck and works really well. It’s much less sticky than other actual lipglosses I have used, perhaps due to its lube properties.

I’m a bit perplexed why Babeland didn’t make the label a bit more discreet, however. There is a clear sticker wrapped around the tube which describes it as “sensual lip lube”. The Babeland logo is on there a couple times along with the phrase “Sex toys for a passionate world” and the URL, too. This is definitely something to keep away from prying eyes which I think could prove to be difficult. I leave my chapstick sitting right on my keyboard and share lip products from time to time; basically, I don’t ever think about safeguarding those types of items. Of course, I could just peel off the label (actually, it’s been trying to come off since I opened the box), but I think it’s kinda pretty.

The lipgloss doesn’t absorb, really, which also makes it good for a lube. It feels rather slippery and waxy (which makes sense because beeswax is one of the 5 ingredients listed) and remains that way for a while – definitely longer than the scent. My lips glide easily over each other. It’s not heavy duty lube so you shouldn’t be trying to shove your mouth in someone’s ass (why would you, anyway?) nor can you really apply a generous amount but it seems perfect for a little oral lovin’. If you require a lot of lube for giving head, then this may not be ideal but I usually don’t any so this would just make it that much sweeter (well, not literally).

Really, I love that it’s a naughty surprise in such a common item. No one has to know that spreading this gloss on my lips really means “I want to suck your cock” unless, of course, I tell them. It certainly could be used to send a naughty message to your lover from across the room, before slipping off to a dark corner to do the deed. It’s kind of mentally arousing to have that little secret.

Babegloss is definitely a secret we all should have, in my opinion. It’s a genius little idea and, from the reviews, it seems like I’m not the only one who thinks so. I will tell you that I’d love to have the Orange Dreamscicle scent as well but it’s currently out of stock. Must be because everyone likes it so much, huh?

23 Comments

Categories: Lube, Reviews

Image © MisterUnlucky; used with permission.