Split Peaches Unicorn Horn Dildo (Pastel Pleasures – Medium)

March 31st, 2017

Have you ever used a toy that’s just too good? Yea. It’s a thing. I didn’t know either.

Sure, I’ve have toys that were very good. Some were, eh, good enough. Some were, wow, not good at all. This dildo might be the first that’s too good. It’s almost unbelievable like a unicorn, you might say.

So let’s talk about that first. This is a dildo like a unicorn horn. I got one swathed in pastels with silicone wrapping its way down the shaft. To be honest, it looks a bit more like ice cream than a unicorn horn, but you can also get it in pearlescent white, which might be more traditional for unicorns, along with a bold, rainbow-colored one. There’s even a gorgeous blue-purple one on the manufacturer’s site that SheVibe doesn’t carry (yet…?).

There’s a flat base that could be compatible with your harness if you want the power of the unicorn; though, I’ve only used this solo.

The dildo is surprisingly flexible. You can bend it backward to touch itself. The outer layer has a fair amount of give. It’s not squishy like VixSkin, more like a softer version of Tantus’ shiny silicone. The core is firm enough to remain upright. And it’s not so soft that you can’t control it from the base when it’s inserted. I really enjoy the formula of this silicone, and much silicone has fallen into the “meh” camp for me previously.

The one thing that’s not good about the silicone? It’s the lintiest lint-magnet ever. Like wash-it-and-wash-it-again. I’ve never had to spend so much time washing a toy as I have the unicorn dildo. And there is no way possible to photograph it without picking up more lint and hair. Sorry.

The end of the horn is rounded, so penetration feels easy with a little lube, even if it’s not particularly awesome lube, haha. And the particular increase in circumference is nearly perfect. I don’t need to be warmed up at all, and the narrower tip doesn’t bother my cervix. Again, near perfection.

But I think a custom size would be better up my all. The length — 10 inches — isn’t really necessarily, and I don’t feel especially full when the toy hits my cervix. If this were maybe 3″ shorter, I would absolutely adore it. It would still not be the toy for size queens, but I’d be able to appreciate the 2.75-inch circumference near the base in a way that I just can’t now.

Still, I can use the dildo, get it right where I want it (thanks to the flexibility), press it right against my G-spot (thanks to the firmness) and hold it in place until I squirt. It’s made me squirt nearly immediately. Like 10 seconds or less. It doesn’t take much to make me squirt, but this is still impressive. A second ejaculation following needing less than half that time.

But if it only takes fifteen seconds, what else do I do it with it, you know? Fortunately, I do find the unicorn dildo to be quite enjoyable while stroking. The twisted texture seems too subtle to notice, but I can feel the waves in a way that’s in no way objectionable. Split Peaches makes dildos with much more texture if that’s up your alley, however.

If there were any toy that was going to give me a vaginal orgasm, the unicorn dildo is probably it. We’re not there yet, but, hey, sometimes you’ve got to believe in magic, right?

SheVibe

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No. 17 Bendable Twist Waterproof Silicone Vibrator by Black Door

November 4th, 2016

I wish there was a sufficiently succinct way to describe toys-that-I-won’t-call-worthless-because-they-work-for-clitoral-stimulation-but-I-intended-to-use-them-internally. I mean, that’s pretty long-winded.

Long, too, is the list of toys that fit this. Their shape or vibrations just don’t do it for my G-spot, but the shape generally works well enough to provide me with a clitoral orgasm. I tend to be lenient about these things because shape is so important for me clitorally.

However, a toy that doesn’t do what it’s intended to isn’t worth much, and that alone should prevent me from recommending a toy. If a sex toy provides its expected function in addition to being versatile, that’s worth commending.

So why am I so often looking for ways to give positives to toys that otherwise don’t meet expectations? Perhaps I am looking for a way to say “At least I didn’t waste my time (or money).”

Let me waste no more of your time ranting about disappointing toys in general. Let’s talk about one toy that’s disappointing yet strangely intriguing — No. 17 Bendable Twist Waterproof Silicone Vibrator by Black Door.

So, this new line by Black Door consists of velvety soft silicone. I enjoy the texture of the No 17, which is part of the reason the slightly curved head works so well clitorally. It is reminiscent of the heads on several Fun Factory toys, including Patchy Paul.

But the real selling point of this vibrator is that it bends. This isn’t the first toy to bend. JeJoue’s G Ki comes to mind. This toy was supposed to help you get perfect G-spot stimulation by allowing you to customize the angle of the bend

No. 17 Bendable Twist Vibrator has a flexible core that doesn’t rely on specific “joints.” It feels more like posable dolls limbs, which I hope won’t freak you out. The intended result, as far as I can tell, was to be able to create a custom shape for your body.

Herein lies the problem. This flexibility means you can ben it any which way (well, within reason), but it also means it doesn’t stay in place. For example, using it for clitoral stimulation tend to make it bend backward. I think rigorous thrusting internally could do the same; although, I didn’t do much thrusting with the No. 17 Bendable Twist Waterproof Silicone Vibrator by Black Door.

I found myself try to bend it once inserted to get dual stimulation, but couldn’t achieve an S-shape to get proper clitoral stimulation. I found that it hurt to bend while inserted, so I would try to bend it partially with my hands before insertion, then finish the job once it was inserted.

While the No. 17 Bendable Twist Waterproof Silicone Vibrator by Black Door was bent into a C/U shape, I was able to squirt by using a sort of rocking motion. I’m sure the toolbox-like texture (like this) helped, but it wasn’t a fantastic sensation. The vibrations are just so weak, you almost can’t tell if they’re buzzy or deep. It’s.. odd. This is because the toy runs on 2AAAs. It’s 2016 guys, get with the program!

It’s 2016 guys, get with the program! There are rechargeable vibrators that are worth the price for for well under $100 (Cuddle comes to mind), and even a few just slightly more expensive than this one that are rechargeable with stronger motors.

This brings me to my next gripe. I actually two of these vibrators because it took me several weeks to get one to work. As it turns out, the No. 17 Bendable Twist Waterproof Silicone Vibrator by Black Door doesn’t like rechargeable batteries. I’m not sure if this is the case with the entire line, but it’s worth noting if you suspect your toy is defective. Try regular batteries instead.

This might not be a deal-breaker for a vibrator that I loved, but I don’t. It is frustrating if you rely on rechargeable batteries and don’t tend to keep regular AAAs around. To be honest, it kind of seems unacceptable in this day and age. I’m not sure what’s happening technologically-speaking that would make the difference, but it’s not cool.

Even worse, I tried to contact the company to get some heads up, and no one replied. That’s pretty shitty. Fortunately, the folks at SheVibe were on the ball. Anyway..

The controls seem remarkably dated as well. There’s a single button in the handle, which is triangular and actually preferable to some other looped handles I’ve used in the past (I’m talking about you Alia and Big Boss). You can cycle through the settings or hold it to turn off the toy, but there’s nothing “smart” about this vibrator.

I guess that leaves me scratching my head or, more likely, posting flummoxed tweets. The toy tries to do something new but doesn’t have a solid foundation to back it up. Not everyone would love a bendable vibe, and some people would prefer bending toys like the G-ki versus the No. 17, but there are people who would be intrigued by this concept. And I really think they should be offered something better than this.

SheVibe

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Veteran’s Day Sales at SheVibe

November 12th, 2015

I’ve been quiet for a while, but I couldn’t help but pipe up when I got today’s email with SheVibe’s Veterans Day sales. Now, technically, there aren’t one-day only sales, but that’s good if you’re waiting on payday! Most of these ends November 24th, so you’ve got almost two weeks to make your purchases.


Any purchases through my links will help me pay hosting and domain bills through affiliate commissions. Thanks for your continued support!

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Tantus Silicone Fantasy Gag

December 7th, 2014

My track record with Tantus toys hasn’t been so great. While others will rave about the dildos, strap-ons, cock rings and anal probes, I’ve felt a lot like Goldilocks. They were too big or too small, too hard or too soft. Whatever it was that I was looking for, I hadn’t found it.

To this date, I have liked — and kept — only a single Tantus dildo. This means I’ve been a sex toy fairy for some friends, but that I don’t recommend the company like others do. You see, the silicone is awesome. Some of the colors? Amazing! But I don’t think the textures and density are much for me. I prefer Vixen by far.

Similarly, I haven’t had much luck with gags. I have a rather small mouth. My dentist will confirm this, so I need a smaller gag. In fact, the actually balls don’t work that well, and neither did the one bar-style gag that I tried. Although, that one was pretty cheap.

For a while, I had my eye on the tiny cock gag. It’s cute, and it’s not perfectly round. Better for my mouth? I thought so. Plus, it’s made of silicone because it’s by Tantus. I’ve seen similar design made from PVC, but even if I didn’t care about cleanliness, who wants that smell/taste in their mouth? Add in leather, and I’m sold.

When I got this gag, I removed it from the package and separated the leather strap to wash just the gag part. Because you can do this, you can boil or spray with bleach to sterilize.

I immediately noticed that the silicone retained the smell of the leather, however. This is from being packaged with the leather in an airtight package. I like leather, but the smell/taste in my mouth was overwhelming, so I would definitely recommend a thorough cleaning and letting this air out before you use it. You’ll want to quickly move this from cleaning to use because the shiny silicone picks up every bit of lint, as you can see from my photo!

You’ll always want to remove the straps for cleaning. They’re not waterproof, but the directions say you can wipe clean with a damp cloth and treat with leather conditioner. I’ll be honest, I’m really bad with my leather goods. Oops!

Once it’s ready to use, it’s easy. The straps slide through holes on either side of the silicone cock and snap shut. The fit is secure, so I had to use two hands to do this. If you want the “pretty” side of the snap to show, make sure it’s facing away from the gag. The Velcro is long enough that you can adjust the size of the gag a bit.  You’re going to get a maximum circumference of about 25 inchs and can shrink that to 20 or 21 inches if you want the Velcro to remain secure.
The gag secures behind your head with velcro. This will keep it in place, but I did struggle finding the perfect position so that the straps wouldn’t slide. When I tried to tighten it or pull it too high on the back of my head, it definitely triggered my gag reflex because it fills more out of your mouth than many styles of gags.

However, unlike those gags, you could comfortable keep just the silicone portion in your mouth without needing to be restrained thanks to the contoured head. I was able to easily and comfortably wrap my teeth around those ridges. You could insert all the way to the base, but my throat will need some stretching before that happens. Like I said, my mouth is pretty small, so the 1.5-inch length feels pretty big to me. I noticed that this was definitely a drool-inducing gag if you’re into that!

In fact, this might not be a good beginner’s gag because of the size and depth. The Fantasy gag itself is about 1.75 inches wide at the largest point, one of the ripples. However, the tapered head is less wide, and the design isn’t perfectly round. The shape is quite like a butt plug, to be honest. You could probably use it for one if you wanted.

This is a solid basic gag that’s different from every other gag on the market. I do think there is room for improvement. For starters, it would simply be cool if the gag attached to the straps via O-ring like a strap on. Secondly, I’m not sure Velcro is the most secure option. The style with D-rings offers more adjustments when it comes to size and might be better at not catching your hair, which I noticed happened  pretty easily.

Small mouths aside, this is probably my favorite gag to date, though!

SheVibe

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Elegant Moments Leopard Print Chiffon Halter Style Babydoll

November 26th, 2014

It might be cliche, but I just love animal print. The subtle brown leopard print in this babydoll by Elegant Moments drew me in. After a string of misses, however, this might because the past piece of lingerie I try for a while.

I recently discovered a term that I like quit a bit: inbetweenies. It refers to people of my size who border plus and regular sizes. The term is great, the sizing issue isn’t so much. I find fewer options available to me. Typical sizes run too small, and extended sizes tend to be too large as was the case with this leopard print babydoll.

When I put it on, there simply seemed to be an excess of fabric around my stomach and hips. There was no cute “peekaboo” effect at all because of how it overlapped. It’s a shame that this didn’t fit as I’d hoped because I really do like the cut. You so often see flyaway babydolls that are simply two pieces “curtains” together at the empire waist, but the cut of fabric is more like an upside down U shape. It seems like the cut is more modest in the plus sizes than the other sizes, which I missed when looking at product images. I think it would better hide tummies if you’re worried about that as your problem area.

If the chiffon portion of the babydoll fits, you’ll be able to adjust the top thanks to the halter tie, which you can adjust behind your neck. The animal print cups have no elastic, however, so they might not look exactly stunning if your breasts are either on the larger or smaller size for the triangular cups. as a 40B/C, I felt as though my breasts might have been a bit on the small size, but my ribcage curves a lot so they need more support from the side to come together. The fabric cups offer little in the way of support, though. Women with larger breasts will no doubt experience more stress because of the weight of them and the halter, of course.

Another consideration is the decorative circle/buckle on the empire waist. I typically like to get lingerie that is comfortable and practical enough to double as sleepwear, but I wouldn’t wear this babydoll to bed because of that piece, which is made of a hard plastic. The plastic is textured to look diamonds from far away, but it looks a little cheaper up close.

Decorative details on the babydoll

Decorative details on the babydoll

Like most lingerie, the included thong, which is made of the same material as the cups of the babydoll, is too large for me. I tend to wear a smaller size underwear than my bust and waist size, however. Like the cups. there’s no stretch, so this will either fit you or it won’t.

The lack of stretch is a theme around this entire piece, in fact. The waist band — which is a satin-y material styled to look like a belt but is only in front of the babydoll — has absolutely no elasticity to it. I think it would feel better if it did stretch a bit, and it would look better if the “belt” wrapped around the entire waist. Indeed, an adjustable belt might be a better option altogether if the plastic circle functioned as a buckle.

The only bit of elastic in this babydoll is at the back, which runs below your shoulder blades to show off your neck and shoulder. This isn’t enough in my opinion. The rest of the back is a continuous piece of chiffon that wraps around and falls well below my ass on my short frame.

Overall, this piece seems fairly well made. I noticed no loose threads or other defects in the craftsmanship. The chiffon is silky and and smooth and this would likely be comfortable to wear if it fit you well.

The 1X size does seems to run a bit larger, however, so keep that in mind when shopping.

Shevibe

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My Favorite Red, White and Blue Sex Toys

July 2nd, 2014

I’m not much for celebrating our country’s Independence Day. I mean, there’s nothing wrong with firing up the grill or throwing last year’s husk of a Christmas tree into a bonfire to blaze gloriously for all of 30 seconds as your face melts off. And who doesn’t enjoy fireworks? I like the activities, but I just don’t feel the season.

To each her own, eh?

Anyway, I thought it would be fun if I let you guyos in on my favorite toys boasting the patriotic colors of the American (and plenty of other countries’) flags.

Red

  • Lelo’s Siri was my go-to clitoral vibe for years. I still use it; although, not as frequently. PinkCherry sells it for less than $90 and if you use the code “Goal” (no idea when it ends), it’s $66.82.
  • Another red toy from Lelo is the Mona. There’s a second version available, too. It’s more powerful and have a slightly different shape, but I wouldn’t opt for it unless you could find it at a good price. SheVibe, for example, sells the Mona 2 for $130. You can also buy it from the Of Sex and Love store for $111.20 using code MONA2.

White

  • I’m pretty sure Jimmyjane no longer makes any other Contour massage stones, which is a bummer. These are way nicer than the cheap plastic massagers you get around Christmas time. I actually haven’t used my Contour M in years, but it’s such a nice piece. And it’s rather affordable. Check it out from SheVibe for less than $23.
  • There’s only ever been one Tantus toy that I love: the Faerie. And I think I love it because of the pearlescent white shimmer. I didn’t even get the white version, but I can’t complain. Unfortunately, I don’t think you can buy it from most places, anymore. Tantus no longer makes it. Bummer. But you can check Trystology, which lists it as available. Good luck!

Blue

There are more awesome blue sex toys in my night stand than there seem to be any other color. In no particualar order, I love these:

  • Jimmyjane Form 6 G3. I don’t know why more people aren’t shouting their love for this sleek, rechargeable and powerful vibrator. Get it for $131 from PinkCherry with code goal. Right now, you’ll also get a free We-Vibe Thrill if you spend $99 or more!
  • I really like the Ceramix line and Number 4 is the first I’ve been able to try. It’s blue and white. It’s lightweight, but it’s also good for temperature play.  Ceramix #4 is $33.74 from PinkCherry with a 20% off coupon code!
  • Now, I didn’t get my Lelo Ora in blue, but the blue one is pretty much the perfect shade to celebrate your country. Pretend I made some horrible analogy about fireworks and masturbate. Okay, you don’t have to. My point is, however, that it’s the perfect shade of blue and does the oral stimulation simulation thing better than anything I’ve tried. You’ve got a couple shopping options, too: Good Vibes ($135.20 with code tristan), PinkCherry ($114.74 with code goal) or the Of Sex and Love Store for the same price as Good Vibes with code Mona2.

So what are your favorite red white and blue items?

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So Silicone Dildo by Marc Dorcel

June 29th, 2014

I’ve had my eye on items in this line for a while. I think it’s because the product images are all weirdly Photoshopped, so I could never quite tell everything I wanted to from photos. For example, this dildo looks almost like plastic. It reminds me of some sort of plastic toy that I had a child. I remember it has some sort of “bones” with joints and you could bend it to keep its shape.

So every time I look at this dildo, I imagine that’s what it’s like.

It’s not. But that’s what I imagined.

To be honest, it might have been better to have some sort of bones. Because what the So dildo is.. is just a giant hunk of silicone. Thicker on one end by far, thinner on the other. You could argue that it offers versatility but, wait! Nope. It doesn’t. The silicone is so soft that the thin end is virtually floppy. It makes it harder to use, and means you’re using the floppy end as a handle if you take the larger side. You can see all the sad clown faces. It’s like Dali’s “The Persistence of Memory.”

Hypothetically, if the silicone were more firm/dense in the thinner neck, this would be a functional dildo — and a more affordable alternative to the Njoy Eleven, which is essentially the same design with an extra ridge on the thicker end of the shaft. If the Eleven is too big for you, the softer silicone might be easier handle, but it’s still large.

I’ll be honest, it’s too large for me to comfortable insert without previously having sex. Even working up to it with other toys is a hassle, and the overly-flexible neck (I’m not the only one who’s noticed ) doesn’t help. At its thickest — at the corona —  this dildo is wider than the 1.5 inches stated on SheVibe. A measuring tape comes up with 6 inches exactly around The head isn’t exactly round at the lip that provides G-spot stimulation. So it’s more like 1.75 inches at the widest and a bit more narrow arrow the dildo. The, silicone is firmest here in the toy. This makes it more difficult to take than you might guess.

The matte silicone will likely take a lot of lube, and those poorly ‘shopped photos (I know! I’m using one but I so desperately need a nap. I cannot help it!) make it look smoother. This is not the case. In person, in fact, this reminds me a bit of the Fun Factory Curve. That’s a better dildo, hands down. Legs up (in the air). Whatever.

The rounded head makes way for a smooth shaft that gently bends for a very lazy “S” shape. On the other end is a smaller head with 2 ridges along the shaft. The size allows for a more noticable G-spot “hook.” It’s significantly smaller with a diameter of just. The neck is something more like 1 inch in diameter at the thinnest. And this dildo tops out at 9 inches with a weight that’s no doubt less than the Eleven but more than I want to deal with on a regular basis and especially not for a dildo that wasn’t design with things like, you know, physics in mind.

Marc Dorcel, whoever he made be (okay, Wikipedia says he’s a French dude who makes porn. I hope it’s better than his sex toys), packaged this in a carboard box with plastic tray. No storage or anything memorable. Wash your silicone dildos with soap and water for two minutes while humming “Twinkle Twinkle Little Star” Or is that brushing teeth? Whatever. A run through the dishwasher, bleach wipe or 3-minute boil would get it cleaner.

But I don’t think I recommend actually using this for sex stuff. Just use it to hit your stupid UPS driver or smack the wall when the neighbor in the next apartment over is too loud. Maybe as toy for your dog to play fetch.

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