What Spam Says About Society’s Problems with Sexuality

November 12th, 2023

A common scammer tactic involves threats of releasing nonexistent masturbation videos.

I’ve received a few scammy spam messages identical to the one above this week. It’s not the first time I’ve opened my inbox to such messages, and I’m sure it won’t be the last, either. In fact, I almost missed it because Thunderbird correctly marked it as spam.

What you cannot see is that the sender appears to be me. To the average person, this might lend credence to the threat. Previous versions have included real passwords that became exposed rather than claiming to use some “Remote Administration Tool” malware to record the user and it has not always appeared to come from my email account, but the sentiment remains the same.

Some people know it as a Sextortion Email Scam, although many victims would likely not know if this is a common type of scam or what it’s called. Ignoring the fact that people may fall for the messages because they do not understand how easily scammers can spoof any email address, including their own, and how their efforts become untraceable by using Bitcoin, I find these scam messages to be an interesting lens through which we can understand society.

The scammers make several assumptions about their victims:

  • They have masturbated
  • Kinkily
  • While at their computers
  • Which have working cameras
  • That are connected to the Internet

Several of these assumptions are likely to be true. After all, many people masturbate, and most devices have integrated cameras.

Perhaps most interesting is the assumption that anyone would pay to prevent their loved ones from accessing evidence of their sexuality, so much so that their worry would prevent them from checking whether the message is a scam. I am sure this is occasionally true. I’ve received similar messages for years, and scammers only need to trick one unsuspecting recipient for their effort to pay off.

Yet I cannot help but think about how the threat wouldn’t be effective if we did not live in a culture that shamed sexuality. If we recognized our inherent sexual natures in all their variety, messages like this would have little power. Sure, it might be uncomfortable if someone in our address books saw us in a sexually precarious position, just like it can be awkward to walk in on our parents having sex, but it shouldn’t be the end-of-the-world scenario as this spam suggests.

Greater than 99% of all people exist because someone else had sex, and we all recognize that sex can be pleasurable. The time and effort people spend pretending otherwise isn’t just unnecessary, it’s entirely misguided. And the attempts to deny others their sexuality is harmful in more ways than one. From slut shaming to barring comprehensive and inclusive sex education, we live in a world where sex doesn’t get the respect it deserves.

So, it’s no surprise that spammers might use sexuality as an angle to scam people out of money. But it is incredibly frustrating that sexuality is still so powerfully attached to shame in 2023.

2 Comments


Sex Toy Retailers That Use Comments for Spam

May 31st, 2012

I’m sick of this shit, you guys. I get so many spam comments, and Akismet is great at catching them, but it seems like sex toy retailers think comment spam is okay. You know what? It’s not. Not today. Not yesterday. Not ever. In fact, I have a few more thoughts on this:

  • Bloggers should never click this links to comment spam, because it registers as traffic with Google.
  • No consumers should purchase from the douchebags.
  • Sex toy retailers should only comment on blogs like mine if they’re willing to use a name and not the name of the sex toy store. Period.
  • Finally, people who use comment spam deserve to be called on it.

 

Thus, without further ado, here is a list of evildoers. Please send me the spammers who wind up in your comments folder, and I’ll add them, too!

  1. upsextoys.co.uk
  2. toysboutique.net
  3. sexetoystore.com
  4. redapple.dk
  5. pennylanes.co.nz
  6. sexhotshop.net
  7. ohmygodes.fr
  8. lolatoys.com
  9. sextoysdiva.com
  10. wantsextoys.com
  11. discretionadultstore.com.au
  12. strap-ontoys.com
  13. sexe-toy-shop.com
  14. VIBRATORBLOG.COM
  15. tailledupenis.fr
  16. ohmygodes.fr
  17. myeldoradostore.com/warning.php?a=fifthelementtoys
  18. nltsecrets.net
  19. suctioncupdildo.org
  20. pimentaselvagem.com.br
  21. ladieslittlesecrets.co.uk
  22. double-ended-dildos.com
  23. seefreecams.com (Cams, but close enough!)
  24. sexetoystore.com
  25. captaincreams.com
  26. supercochons.com/
  27. achetersextoys.net
  28. adulttoysforless.net/
  29. pinkcherryaffiliate.com/sextoys.php?id=1513 (An affiliate, not PinkCherry. I’d never do this!)
  30. venusandmarssextoys.com
  31. naughty-sins.co.uk
  32. adultnolveltees.blogspot.com
  33. sextoysbyadultnolveltees.blogspot.com
  34. hiddendrawer.co.uk
  35. toyswin.com
  36. fun-4-two.co.uk
  37. thefreeporn.org/tag/blowjob/page/2?paged=10
  38. pornoevi.com
  39. madamfox.com
  40. sussextoys.com
  41. kinkytime.com.au
  42. naughtyboytoyz.com
  43. upscalestripper.com
  44. testunsextoy.com
  45. wegotthatvibe.com
  46. sexyvibratingpanties.com
  47. lingerieisland.co.uk
  48. sextoys-dildos.com
  49. achetersextoys.fr
  50. strap-ontoys.com
  51. fredsextoysstore.com
  52. bollywoodsextoy.com
  53. deluxetoys.fr
  54. strap-ontoys.com
  55. mysextoy.org

Please link this post, if you like it. If you’re in the habit of sometimes shopping around for toys and sometimes user lesser-known sites, making the effort to avoid these goes a long way to the blogger community and to promoting respect, transparent tactics and professionalism in the long run.

If you’re on this list, there’s nothing you can do to remove yourself from it. Sorry that you’re an asshole.

3 Comments


Hey Sex Bloggers

December 20th, 2008

Just curious – do you find your sex blogs are plagued with more spam or weirder spam than regular blogs? Mine sure seems to be.

3 Comments