U Touch Down

June 17th, 2013

The second piece in the U Touch line is a gently-curving internal vibrator called the Touch Down. Topco graciously sent me this in addition to the Touch Up, which I previously reviewed. That vibrator was constructed well and reminded me of Siri, but I really do like Lelo’s offerings better. The Touch Up doesn’t look all that different from Lelo’s Liv or the similar vibe by Sportsheets. There is a version with a more pronounced head, but I don’t need that for G-spot stimulation.

Aside from the shape, there’s really nothing different between the Touch Up and Touch Down. They have the same packaging, for example. I didn’t post the photos from the Touch Up because I wanted to do the comparison shots with Siri, but you can see them here. There’s an outer cardboard sleeve, and inside of this is a thicker box that opened with flaps.

IMAG0834-1Magnets inside the flaps open to reveal the vibrator on the right and the adapter and instructions on the left. These items are in a thin box inside a narrow divider. The use of space seems a little weird because much of it is empty. Overall the presentation is nice, but it’s not really functional. I mean, the box is big and clunky and there’s no storage pouch. I really prefer a pouch to any other method of storage, and the lack there-of seems like an incredibly oversight here. Get it together, guys.

I do like the design though. It’s gentle and middle-of-the-line in terms of size. It’s easy to hold and reaches my g-spot; although, you might need something more drastic if yours is tucked further behind your pubic bone. There’s about 5 inches to insert with a few inches of hard plastic as the base where the controls sit. The base tapers to this narrow, almost-flat shape that I actually find easy to hold and maneuver.

With a girth of 1.3″, this toy is easy to insert with a little bit of lube and no warmup. It’s not the toy for a size queen, however. The silky silicone does not have a discernible seam to the touch. I like how it feels in my hand, but it collects lint. Duh. I shouldn’t even have to say this in reviews anymore. Let’s just call it “that lint sucking material.”

Topco uses slightly thicker layers of silicone where the toy bulges out at the G-spot area, so it’s a bit softer. However, the whole thing is softer in general than you might imaging from the photos. I’m not talking squishy and bendable, but a little give if you really squeeze it. If you find other toys a little too poky, this might be a better design for you. Overall, I prefer the design of the Touch Down to the Touch Up.

IMAG0837-1

Like I said, the toy itself is pink and white. It looks slick, I must admit.Sure, there’s no cool colors, but you’re sticking it inside you. Who cares? The LED control panel looks cool, but it suffers from the exact same issues that I had with the Touch Up. It’s just not intuitive. There’s some good ideas, but the implementation is lacking.

You’d think that the four-button setup is pretty easy, and there is a + button as well as a – button. The other two cycle through other settings, too. However, the + button doesn’t turn on vibrations. Instead, you have to hold the up and down arrows simultaneously for a few seconds to turn it on and off. This is completely lacking in intuitiveness in my opinion. I should be able to turn it on by simply pressing the + button and turn it off by pressing the -.

What makes it worse is that all the toys in the U Touch line come with the same, generic instruction manual that doesn’t actually talk about the toy itself. It has general instructions for inserting batteries, when there are none. Nowhere does it say that you have to press both buttons to turn on the toy. There is a note about how the toy locks, and I do have to say that I like this feature. It locks while it’s on after five seconds of disuse. Because I frequently accidentally turn off vibes, I like this feature. Pressing the + and – buttons simultaneously unlocks it. Of course, I find that I have to stop playing and raise the toy to my face to see those buttons. Sadly, there’s no indication that you’ve turned it from locked to unlocked, which is pretty inconvenient.

IMAG0835-1I do still prefer this one, and it’s under $100. I wish I had Liv or a similar G-spot vibe to compare power. I don’t need much on my G-spot, so I don’t think that I can accurately be the litmus test for consumers at large. That.. and a litmus test doesn’t use female ejaculate. Har har.

However, I did compare it to all the other G-spot vibes I had handy and charged and.. the Touch Down was weaker than all of them on their lower settings than its highest.

  • The Form 6 G3 might be slightly weaker at its lower settings but is deeper
  • The highest setting of Touch Down is comparable to the third or fourth setting on the Mona. My Mona 2 is dead.
  • Minna Ola, which is really too weak for me, is stronger.
  • The Key Ceres and Nomi Tang Getaway.

As you can see, I couldn’t find a single toy that was weaker, and it was hard enough to find one that was on par with the U Touch Down’s power output. Really, none of the vibes on this list, save for the Form 6 G3, are anything more than middle-of-the-line. So, there’s that.

This isn’t a loud toy by any means, but it does seem to run at a put that’s just a little bit louder than you’d expect. Will your parents bust down the door because “What are you cutting with a chainsaw?” No. Then again, I doubt they’ll rescue you from your throes of passion due to the Touch Down.

I wanted to love this toy, and while I don’t hate it, it’s just not wooing me.

2 Comments


U Touch Up

June 6th, 2013

I was excited when I first found out about the U Touch line by Topco. I haven’t used as many of the company’s products as I have other lines, but I generally thought of Topco as more generic. However, the U Touch line brings with it sophisticated designs and unique controls are a step in the right direction for the company in my opinion. In fact, this is part of the “UltraZone” line, which includes a few toys I wouldn’t mind trying.

Even the packaging is a step up. U Touch toys come in boxes that secure with magnets. Pull open a ribbon, and you’ll see the toy nestled there. The chargers, with multiple power adapters, and instruction book are nestled in a smaller box in a separate compartment. This whole box is in an outer cardboard sleeve. All in all, it’s nice, but I prefer something a little less bulky. Topco isn’t offering storage pouches with this line, which is something that I’d prefer.

Topco sent me both the U Touch Down and the U Touch Up, which struck me as incredibly similar to the Lelo Siri, which is one of the toys on my Divine Toy box, meaning I actually use it since first trying it. I couldn’t help but take some comparison pictures, in fact.

So, I took a few pictures of the two side by side. There’s some definite similarities in the design; however, the U Touch Up is larger than Siri. The bottoms of the toys also have different shapes. While most clit toys tend to curve against the body, the U Touch Up seems to bulge out in a round way.

The hard plastic of the plastic also flattens out much more as you can see in the photo above. I actually found this shape to be a little less ideal for me personally. I like getting pressure, but found that the rounded underside wasn’t working. Perhaps if it had been concave or more angled. I wound up using the very tip of the U Touch Up, which isn’t necessarily a bad thing. It’s just not as intuitive as I’d like.

U Touch Up and Siri

U Touch Up and Siri

Both have silicone where the toy will touch your body. I got the pink, which is very light. A similarly-feminine violet is familiar. For a while, the product page described is as magenta, which it is not. The silicone on this is a little more plush and softer than the Siri. It’s silky smooth to the touch, and while the vibe isn’t exactly seamless, it’s put together well. You might want to take extra care about the seam when washing it, but the toy is waterproof.

I probably wouldn’t be concerned if the vibrations were a little stronger. These toys have an internal motor, which you charge via magnetic adapter. It reminds me of the magnetic charger that comes with Fun Factory’s newer toys. The magnet part is round and flashes while charging. Instead of plugging directly into the wall, the end is a regular USB plug, so you could charge this with the included adapter block or with your computer, which is convenient. I won’t lie; I stole the adapter block to use with my iPod, so that it doesn’t have to share the same adapter as my phone.

The result is fairly buzzy and pretty weak vibrations — from the vibe, not my iPod. To add to my disappointment, the vibe always returns to the setting you last used it on. Unfortunately, I wind up thinking I can turn it up, but it’s already maxed out. It’s no secret that I like strong, deep vibrations.

The controls leave a little to be desired as well. Topco is trying to do something new, which I admire, but I don’t think they’re quire there. The control panel uses touch sensitive buttons that have backlighting but lack haptic feedback. There’s a little indentation where the buttons are, so I can find them, but I never quite know if I’m actually pressing a button.

You’d think that the four-button setup is pretty easy, and there is a + button as well as a – button. The other two cycle through other settings, too. However, the + button doesn’t turn on vibrations. Instead, you have to hold the up and down arrows simultaneously for a few seconds to turn it on and off. This is completely lacking in intuitiveness in my opinion. I should be able to turn it on by simply pressing the + button and turn it off by pressing the -.

What makes it worse is that all the toys in the U Touch line come with the same, generic instruction manual that doesn’t actually talk about the toy itself. It has general instructions for inserting batteries, when there are none. Nowhere does it say that you have to press both buttons to turn on the toy. There is a note about how the toy locks, and I do have to say that I like this feature. It locks while it’s on after five seconds of disuse. Because I frequently accidentally turn off vibes, I like this feature. Pressing the + and – buttons simultaneously unlocks it. Of course, I find that I have to stop playing and raise the toy to my face to see those buttons. Sadly, there’s no indication that you’ve turned it from locked to unlocked, which is pretty inconvenient. I’d like to see the control panel blink a couple times or something when I’m trying to press a button to indicate locked status. A similar blink when it turns off would be useful.

Remember when I talked about feedback? Well, the lack of it makes it really hard to tell how many settings there are. Plus, I seem to have to press the buttons repeatedly to get them to work. Siri’s buttons just seem to make much more sense. I counted about 13 speeds. Apparently, there are 16. This is overkill, and fewer speeds would likely make it easier to differentiate between them.

The top speed is a little loud and higher-pitched than Siri. The lower output makes me feel a little disappointed. Aside from steady vibes, there’s a number of pulsation and escalation settings, but the weak vibrations do seem to hinder them from being fully effective. Ultimately, it took a lot of time and effort on my part to get off with this toy because the shape and vibrations just don’t cut it.

One awesome feature and a generally high-quality build doesn’t save this toy. I imagine that many people want more feedback when pressing buttons, and it seems like Topco tried too many new ideas at once. The touch control panel definitely needs some work, but I would like to see improvements because I want to love it. I just can’t… yet.

3 Comments


Cake Lip Plumper

May 9th, 2011

Cake Lip Plumper Angel Food

Cake Lip Plumper Angel Food

This product has been discontinued since I originally reviewed it.

I don’t know about you but I own a lot of lip glosses. I don’t know why exactly. I just love when my lips are shiny and shimmery and smell good, even if I’m not being kissed. I expected that I’d love the Cake lip plumper because I also love sweets.

This plumper comes in a .20 fl ounce tube with the typical lip gloss applicator. The tube is a little smaller than most of them I own but that’s not a bad thing necessarily. The design is super cute: black and liht teal with red accents. The tube and box feature a pin-up style woman and even the font alludes to a previous time.

The product makes a couple claims. 1) It tingles. This is pretty accurate. You can definitely feel the plumper at work after you apply it. If you’ve used other lip plumping products, then you’ll be familiar with the feeling. It can get a little uncomfortable so you may want to be pretty sparse with our applications at first.

Secondly, the product is scented. I received the Angel Food Cake scent; however, there are other cake scents available. My biggest complaint with the product is that it does not smell like angel food cake. There’s a distinct mocha sort of scent and, as I’m not a fan of coffee, this is both confusing and a turn-off.

At least it’s not as terrible as the rancid-smelling body butters in this line.

Lastly, the Cake Lip Plumper is supposed to taste like cake. Let me tell you this: the cake is a lie. It is not flavoured. It tastes like wax, which is typical of many lip products. Thus, you won’t want to run around licking your lips the way you would when wearing VS lip gloss. Just sayin’. Nevertheless, this lip gloss is far less sticky than any I’ve tried by VS, which I do like.

Appearance wise, the Cake gloss adds shine but no color. As for the plumping abilities, I can’t say that I noticed much of a difference and this obviously isn’t intended to have permanent effects.

I’d still be satisfied with this product if I enjoyed the scent and I suspect that I probably would enjoy some of the other scents (cookie dough, devils food), if they’re actually what you would expect. The Lip Plumper is decent as a lip product, with vitamins E and C. I just wish the angel food scent was accurate.

3 Comments


Octopussy Dildo

December 9th, 2010

This is an archived review. Babeland no longer sells the Octopussy dildo. Furthermore, I have had a Pipedream dildo break because it is a lower quality glass.

I strongly recommend reading Lilly’s guide to glass sex toy safety before making any glass dildo purchases!

Octopussy dildo

When it comes to my sex toys, I do not especially like the weird but there was something about the Octopussy Dildo that called to me when Babeland offered it up for review. This glass dildo is stylized so that it looks like an octopus tentacle or, potentially, an appendage of an alien. The pink glass is shaped like the end of a tentacle with a number of bumps that aid in the fantastic design but do not appear like actual tentacle suckers up close. The bumps run in two lines along the length of the dildo, from the tip to the end of the handle, which curves back toward the shaft to create an open loop for easy maneuvering.

If you’re interested in this piece because of its looks, rest assured that it is more attractive in person. All the retail images I have seen appear pale pink but this one is a glistening, vibrant pink. Although glass, the colour makes it translucent and not quite transparent.

Like any other glass piece, the rigidity makes it feel larger than it is but the Octopussy Dildo is not especially large. In fact, it only offers 4.5″ of insertable length out of the 6.5″ or so of the entire piece. In addition to this, the dildo has a diameter of nearly an inch. However, the Octopussy Dildo does not have a round shaft but one that is oblong–wider than it is tall. This dildo has a slight curve that may cup the pubic bone but that is not drastic enough to reach all G-spots if the user does not angle the toy to do so.

I found it easy to feel that there was texture on the Octopussy but I could not necessarily determine what that texture was. Because my G-pot is fairly shallow, the Octopussy was able to stimulate it with minimal movement. Nevertheless, I am not sure that the texture is one that I found especially pleasurable.

I do like the handle, though. Because you don’t have to worry about mechanical parts, you may wish to take this dildo into the shower with you. Water and even lube can make slick glass even more slippery but the loop offers the ability to keep a handle on the toy despite these factors. Because it is so rigid, I would avoid quick movements that could pinch your fingers. Additionally, the loop is only large enough for one finger–maybe two, if yours are small.

Glass is easy to care for: the slickness makes it easy to wash with soap and water or you can boil it for 3 minutes to sterilize (making it safe for sharing). Furthermore, you can dunk it in a bowl or warm or cold water for temperature play, if you are so inclined. If the Octopussy has been unused for a while, it is likely to be cold when you first take it out but it will warm to body temperature with use.

Although I have no major complaints about the dildo itself, I am sad that Pipedream did not include any storage options with it. There isn’t even a cheap pouch. You will want to purchase a toy pouch, make your own or store it in some protective fabric to prevent chipping, breaking or annoying clanging when it comes into contact with other toys.

If you’re into tentacles or odd toys, you may want to pick up the Octopussy Dildo but I’m not sure it’s worth the price tag in comparison to other glass toys and considering the manufacturer.

1 Comment


Eden Waterproof Body Blossom

June 9th, 2010

Another dual stimulator? Yea! I love the idea. It’s why I’ve tried the Rock Chick, Mini G-rock, G-Ki, Gia, Adonis and Delight–not to mention a few non “c-shaped” toys. And I’ve got the Ultimate Satisfier waiting to be reviewed, too.

The Waterproof Body Blossom is part of a line of toys from Adam & Eve that promote their Eden movie. So I suppose the little flower clit stimulator makes sense, even if it’s a bit silly. The Body Blossom’s general shape is similar to the Rock Chick; the insertable portion is fairly straight with an angled head for G-spot stimulation. It’s more angled than round so both parts of the toy rest fairly close together in its natural state. However, the jelly in this toy is much more malleable than the Rock Chick’s silicone so there’s a greater range of movement. The Body Blossom also has 3 little wave-like ridges on the insertable shaft–to match the theme, I suppose.

The whole thing is translucent purple. I haven’t used a jelly toy in a while so I have to admit, I missed the look. There’s a matching purple micro bullet that slips into a snug hole near the clit flower. It’s a pretty generic bullet and operates with a single push button. You can easily replace it with any bullet that comes with silicone dildos (Tantus) as well as some corded bullets (you’ll probably get more power this way). The bullet takes 3 watch style batteries and Topco provides 2 sets to the consumer, 1 set comes in the bullet. Removing the bullet to swap out batteries requires a little finesse finagling. I added some lube to the bullet before I slipped it back in but it was still hard to remove again.

As you can expect, the vibrations are extremely buzzy and, while the bullet isn’t overly loud, the noise definitely sounds buzzy. I was a bit disappointed at how the vibrations traveled throughout the entire toy. However, my G-spot seemed more sensitive to the vibrations than my hand, which is good. If you’re not as sensitive to vibrations, it might not do you any well.

That is, if the damned bullet works at all for you. From the get-go, the included bullet gave me problems. I tested it out and the button didn’t seem to do what it was supposed to do. I got it turned off–until my cat bumped it or my husband picked it up. Movement was setting this thing off at random times and the button stopped responding at all. When it came time to use it, I dropped it on the dresser to turn it on and had to let the batteries drain completely before it would shut off. I inserted the second set to see if maybe it was a battery issue but it still doesn’t work in a way I understand. Because of this, I’m not sure if this thing is maybe supposed to have multiple settings or if it just really sucks. Of course, like I said, it’s easy to replace so even if I were a customer, I wouldn’t try to exchange it or anything.

The jelly of the Body Blossom is phthalates free so it doesn’t smell like a shower liner. It has that slightly chemical-ly scent that some TPR toys have but it’s within reason, I think. It’s definitely a little sticky and this will pick up lint and add friction during play. You can use your choice of water or silicone based lubes. I actually used Wet Synergy, a combination lube. Even though I went a little lube-crazy, the Body Blossom just didn’t blossom for my body. The wave-ridges made it a bit difficult to maneuver and I tend to like my G-spot toys with a little less angle to the head.

I also like a lot of pressure externally but the flexibility of this toy didn’t provide that. The flower rested gently against my labia. It’s a problem I and others with fleshier vulvas run into with this style of toy; I experienced it with Rock Chick, too. I couldn’t really spread my labia to fix the issue, either. The angle of the toy meant that it kept trying to slip upward, toward my mons. Instead of staying in place. This is pretty typical for this style toy. I can get either G-spot stimulation or clit stimulation but not both simultaneously.

I didn’t love either aspect of the Body Blossom enough that I’m really upset, however. I guess I need a shaft with less going on for consistent G-spot stimulation and I don’t usually like my clitoral vibrators to have little fluttery bits. I would definitely recommend the Rock Chick or Delight over the Body Blossom; although, they’re both a little more expensive. I think the Body Blossom is discontinued, anyway.

Find vibrators like this at one of the biggest selections of sex toys online at SexToy.com

1 Comment