I went on a first date with a guy. He seemed okay online, but I couldn’t get a good feel for him. I assumed he was perhaps shy and awkward–as nerds tended to be. He wasn’t horrible looking, and we had common interests. The Hot Nerd had also just gone on a date, so this motivated me to do the same.
This new guy and I met for coffee. I suggested the shop as a convenient place. As it turns out, neither of us like coffee, and he found the prices too expensive for his unemployed self. I feel as though saying one must have a job is hypocritical. After all, I was unemployed for most of my marriage. However, I feel like he should have been able to explain what he was doing to keep himself busy. In short, I felt like he was something of a loser or someone who didn’t know how to get things done. All I ever do is get things done, even when I’m not working. No one would ever accuse me of not keeping busy. I respect someone who knows how to do that.
Employment aside, I found this guy to be awkward and boring. I mean, if we have common interests but you can’t talk about it in a way that interests me, you probably just suck. Am I right? The conversation was full of awkward pauses. I used a lot of filler words to prolong it, and I didn’t enjoy myself at all. After a short walk, we called it quits. I was ready to shake his hand and walk away, but he felt like an uncomfortable hug was better. I wondered how long my boobs would have to be smooshed against him–literally. The hug went on for a long time, and it felt weird to hug a guy so close to my own height (he claims 5’4″, but he exaggerated).
Not an hour later, he wanted to know when we’d next hang out. Truthfully, I didn’t see him as much of a friend or a romantic partner. I wanted to let him down easily, but I also accidentally erased his number and lost his messages on OkCupid. After a few days, he messaged again. I took the time to explain that I didn’t feel any chemistry, but he tried to save face by explaining how he was easily entertained and just wanted to hang out.
I haven’t replied to him since. I’ve been busy moving–it went okay!–and hadn’t given it much thought. I suppose I gave him all the consideration that I could have, but I’ve never been in this situation before. At the very least, I wanted to try being friends with the guys I’d dated. He just didn’t cut it.
I suppose the bright side is that I’m a great first date. People want to see me again, even when I feel like it’s apparent we have no chance at being even friends. I entertain them. It gave me a boost in my confidence. Is that good enough?
