There’s something so sad about falling out of love with someone. When you’re simply left feeling empty, without feelings and certainly without anything else to put in that void.
Because even when your heart is breaking, you’re still in love. And there’s still a bit of excitement, a reminder that you’re alive. Even though there’s pain, there’s something else.
But getting over someone is the absence of that something, of anything. And it’s hard because you’re no longer waiting for them to come back. You don’t think you need them to live, and you’re not even sure that you would want to take them back. You’re confused, and you’re lost because you no longer have that drive. That drive that, for better or worse, gave you something to live for but also had you convinced that you couldn’t live without the very thing that was missing.
And perhaps this is all as jumbled as confused as my heart feels right now. Or maybe other people don’t feel this way as their feelings are fading away or, perhaps, becoming compartmentalized in some long-forgotten attic in their hearts.
Yes, there are positives I could take away from this situation that I’m not, but right now I think I need to feel — and respect — the emptiness, the loss of that drive, the confusion and the sadness that results from it all.
I’d almost rather feel the pain than nothing at all.
