What I miss most about being in a relationship is not the sex but the physical intimacy. I miss cuddling and holds hands. I miss soft kisses on my shoulders, neck and back. I miss being so close and comfortable with someone that when he walks up and puts an arm around your shoulder, a hand at the small of your back of rests his chin on your shoulder, you don’t even flinch or blink. I am so incredibly envious of couples who are able to do this, of people who take this for granted. I hope that I never forget how easily that can be taken away and, if given the chance. I know I’ll be more grateful for it in the future.
It’s so hard and I know this is part of the reason I have such a hard time getting over the Hot Nerd. If I wrote him off, I was also writing off cuddles, the physical touch that I so badly need. Even if we lay together in eachother’s arms for hours, I’m not even to the point where my need is even begin to be sated. I crave touch so badly, but not any touch, a caring touch. Intimate touches. I physically feel the absence of touch, and if it doesn’t physically hurt, it stings emotionally.