May 1st, 2012

What I miss most about being in a relationship is not the sex but the physical intimacy. I miss cuddling and holds hands. I miss soft kisses on my shoulders, neck and back. I miss being so close and comfortable with someone that when he walks up and puts an arm around your shoulder, a hand at the small of your back of rests his chin on your shoulder, you don’t even flinch or blink. I am so incredibly envious of couples who are able to do this, of people who take this for granted. I hope that I never forget how easily that can be taken away and, if given the chance. I know I’ll be more grateful for it in the future.

It’s so hard and I know this is part of the reason I have such a hard time getting over the Hot Nerd. If I wrote him off, I was also writing off cuddles, the physical touch that I so badly need. Even if we lay together in eachother’s arms for hours, I’m not even to the point where my need is even begin to be sated. I crave touch so badly, but not any touch, a caring touch. Intimate touches. I physically feel the absence of touch, and if it doesn’t physically hurt, it stings emotionally.

One Comment to “Intimacy”

  • Dan says:

    I’m with you dear. Babies die who don’t get touched. Cause of death: “Failure to thrive.”
    I had a touch friend not too many years back while dating. Was thinking about her this morning. She later decided to be a nun; but before she went that way, we were hot tub and massage and even sleepover buds (not fuckbuddies). We’d talk about love and sex and God. A lot. Was my idea (a couple times) to spend the night naked together, just spooning. Heck, we’d done naked massage and hot tubs. But never sleeping. We agreed to not kiss or do the sex thing. Those couple nights? Very special.
    Looking back, this was kinky as hell. But we both loved touch were hungry to be touched. To be touched naked; were so hungry for it.
    Far easier to find somebody to fuck than somebody to touch these days. Odd, no?

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