You do what, now?

December 1st, 2012

Every once in a while, I discover a new sex toy that makes me go “what the fuck?” if it’s really weird. Sometimes, I see something and wonder who is into that. Although I’ve tried my fair share of toys, I lack a penis, and I think the masturbation experience is a little different for men. Not only do women have the better selection of sex toys, but masturbation is sometimes more sensual, more prolonged, and more fantasy-oriented in our heads. At least, that’s it for me. I find trying to look at things to be a little distracting. It’s easier for me to visualize things with my eyes closed.

That’s why when I learned about Beaniebang Babes, I was more than a little curious. On the one hand, it seems like a lot of work and I am definitely lazy. On the other hand, I admire the attempt to capitalize on an already successful sex toy — the Fleshlight — and the porn industry to produce something that could possibly enhance masturbation. I understand why people want to make masturbation more sex-like, but I also don’t know if the intent itself isn’t misguided or if sticking a picture on a pornstar and beaniebanging “her” is the right way to go about it.

But, guys deserve a wider range of sex toys, too, so I can’t fault anyone who wants to know how to beaniebang. At least they’d be taking their desires — and penis — into their own hands, and I commend that.

Plus, I think naming sex toys after children’s toys is kinda lulzy.


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