Best Sex Writing 2013

October 19th, 2014

Best Sex Writing 2013
$13.83 from Amazon

I’ve been a fan of the Best Sex Writing series for years, The most recent edition is Best Sex Writing 2013 because it doesn’t come out every year. This one  was edited by Rachel Kramer Bussel with a foreword by Carol Queen, two names you’re probably familiar with if you follow sex education or erotica — or even if you’re just a fan of other Cleis Press publications.

This edition offers 20 different stories about the “state of sexual culture.” Each of the pieces is supposed to represent the sex writing about sex, but the authors, themes, subjects and approaches are all different. Some of the authors are those with whom you may already be familiar, including Carol Queen herself, but some of the authors aren’t really from the sex realm, which I find adds variety.

Of the twenty stores, two or three really stood out for me.

“Very Legal: Sex and Love in Retirement” introduces us to the dynamics of relationships and sex in a retirement community. The writer, Alex Morris, does a good job treating these people like people, which is sometimes difficult with a generation that the world would otherwise like to leave behind closed doors — let alone discuss their relationships.

“Rest Stop Confidential” was an interesting look at the culture of anonymous gay sex in bathrooms and one of the personal accounts that I found more interesting.

Lori Selke’s “Dear John” is literally a breakup letter to the leather community that has transformed and is no longer welcoming to her. I can imagine Lori might be stepping on some people’s toes, but I think it’s a very interesting glance into the workings of the alt community as a whole.

However, my absolute favorite must be “Lost Boys.” This lengthy piece toward the end of the book talks about issues with homelessness, sex work and abuse on the streets of large cities such as NYC. The writer, Kristen Hinman, takes a look into a groundbreaking study by Curtis in Dank, Not only did this research shatter the illusion of who was a child sex worker — teenaged girls — but it also painted a picture about how many underage sex workers were actually walking the streets. The importance of this, I learned through reading, has a lot to do with the organizations that are leaching money out of the government and taxpayers for programs to help this population, a population that is realistically little like the story we’re told that pulls at our heartstrings. You should really read the piece in this book or the published study because there’s a lot of interesting information to be had there, and it’s stunning that this survey hasn’t had a greater impact.

Overall, the submissions to last year’s Best Sex Writing anthology tended to be more personal or anecdotal in nature. This doesn’t make them less interesting to read, but for me, they’re less memorable. Pieces that are more scientific or studious in nature tend to resonate better with me, The notable exception is Carol Queens’ “Ghosts: All my Men Are Dead.” In this sad tale, the sex educator talks about how the men she met as a queer person who moved to California have passed away, almost all from HIV/AIDS. It’s a somber story but also an interesting look into sex education and rights movements, which initially had little room for a woman.

You might prefer the personal stories in Best Sex Writing 2013 more than I did as a whole. Either way, I am certainly not going to stop checking out these books. There’s certainly going to be variation depending upon what authors and researchers do over the past year or so, and I will always be interested in picking up the next Best Sex Writing book.

2 Comments

Categories: Books, Reviews

Svakom Leslie

October 18th, 2014

Svakom Leslie
$175 from Svakom

So let’s talk about the shape. Leslie is a gently curved vibrator that will provide subtle G-spot stimulation. It has no hook a la Ella or Gigi, so you’re not going to get intense stimulation of your G-spot. The silky smooth silicone feels quite nice in my hand.

Yet, it’s not the shape or size of this toy that is its main appeal. Leslie is a self-heating vibrator that has the ability to raise temperature on its own and either in combination with or separately from vibrations.

A separate button enables you to turn on this function, which in and of itself isn’t that impressive. I don’t think I’d ever use Leslie without vibrations is what I mean. There’s a very gradual increase in heat, so you’re not worrying about burning yourself. At its warmest, it’s supposed to get up to 104 degrees F (40 C). If you’re just letting it test for curiosity’s sake, you’ll definitely feel the heat!

I would hazard a guess that some people wouldn’t feel it that much when used internally, however. I like it, though. Paired with the vibrations, I feel like this is a solid vibrator. There are 5 different modes:

  1. Continuous vibes (with multiple speeds)
  2. Escalation
  3. Pulsation
  4. Faster/stronger pulsation
  5. Fast pulsation

The manual lists 6 modes, but I’m not sure what the last one is. Perhaps heat? While the steady vibes aren’t too buzzy or weak. In fact, I really like them.

The four buttons on Leslie work in an interesting way. There’s a single button to turn on and off the heat, and there’s no way to control the specific temperature as far as I can tell. The control panel remains lit as long as heat as on, so you’ll never forget it. There is a “S” button that you press and hold to power on and off. It takes a few seconds to do this. There are also two arrow buttons. Pressing them once will cycle through speeds or strengths of the current setting while pressing it twice takes you to the next setting. It’s not difficult but it is different to use.

The build reminds me of other upscale toys and, like I said, I love the silky texture.  However, During some of the modes, I can hear an obvious rattle internally. This wouldn’t stop me from using Leslie, but it’s a sign that more work could be done and it’s distracting on the lower settings, when you can more easily hear it.

Leslie isn’t terribly loud, but the stronger modes do seem louder than I’m used to. I’d like to see the maximum noise output be equal to the quietest setting ideally.

Leslie is rechargeable via port on the bottom of the toy. It’s not covered like other toys, but Leslie is designed to be water resistant. I think that water would minimize the heating effect as I always find water distracting when in the shower.

Although there’s no serious G-spot hook, the shaft is curved slightly and large enough to feel filling thanks to the rigid inner core. Size queens will have to look elsewhere, however. With an overall length of just over 8 inches, Leslie offers about 6 inches for insertion until you’ll hit the buttons. The control panel is in an interesting position, by the way, on the side of the toy and running vertical. You could insert past the buttons, but you won’t be able to adjust the vibrator obviously. At its widest, Leslie is about 1.5″ in diameter. The tip of the shaft tapers for easier insertion.

On the other side is the Svakom logo, which matches in shape. There’s an LED light that shines through, which I never noticed before. It’s really not going to be something you can even see during use, but it is pretty.

Don’t be like me and use silicone lube with this toy. It’s a bitch to wash off.

At $175, this toy is more than luxury priced. If you are spending that much, I’m not sure if I would recommend Leslie unless you really want to try the warming function, and you have the expendable cash. I completely understand that this is more than just your typical vibrator, but the temperature aspect isn’t so remarkable that I would recommend Leslie to everyone. Some discerning buyers will definitely enjoy it, however! When buying directly from Svakom, you have your choice of plugs, which is awesome!

Leslie comes in black, white, wine red and purple. In person, the wine red is more of a deep raspberry. Pink haters beware!

You can take your chances and buy it for ~ $130 at Amazon. You can check them out at my affiliate store for under $150, too! There aren’t that many retailers selling Svakom products, but Leslie is definitely one that would do well in an upscale sex toy shop, I think.

2 Comments

Categories: Reviews, Vibrators

Touch your partner online with KIIROO

Wrapped Around Your Finger

October 16th, 2014

Wrapped Around Your Finger
A Story of Submission
$16.95 from Amazon

I don’t know that I’ve ever reviewed a full-length piece of erotica before. I tend to stick to anthologies, and most of those stories are quite short indeed. I’ve avoided 50 Shades of Grey for reasons of sanity.  I’ve read the first book in the Sleeping Beauty series, but it’s not very long at all. In comparison, the approximately 225 pages of Wrapped Around Your Finger seems like a Tolkien tome. However, it’s really not that long. I read this cover to cover in 3 or 4 sittings, and in one of those I consumed at least half of the book.

Wrapped Around Your Finger is actually the third in a series about a BDSM relationship by Alison Tyler. It’s part fiction and part memoir, and I don’t personally know where the line is drawn, but I don’t think I want to know. That’s part of this illusion.  While this is the third in the series, you certainly don’t need to have read the first two. It might help clarify a few things, but it’s not necessary.

I started this book knowing nothing about submissive Samantha and her dominant partner, Jack, but it didn’t take long to get to know them and the dynamics of their relationships, which is 24/7 power exchange. Samantha is young, perhaps in a cliche, but Alison Tyler’s writes a character who is aware of this and what her well-to-do partner’s status means in regards to her youth and perhaps naivete.

In spite of that all, Samantha and Jack manage to pull off a relationship that allows them both to grow through power exchange and the introduction of Jack’s assistant Alex. Samantha isn’t blind or abused. She’s intelligent. In fact, she’s a sex writer in the story, and this plays out in her interactions with Jack.

Because of Jack’s money and status, the couple is afforded a somewhat more lavish life, which Samantha isn’t accustomed to, but it’s not limitless. Jack has connections, but he’s not magical. He has power and dominant characteristics, but this isn’t all he is. As the characters learn more about one another and themselves, we understand how intricate these relationships — any relationships — can be, and how that can both be damning and a blessing. This, folks, is good storytelling.

With the impending 50 Shades of Grey movie and a miniseries featuring Sleeping Beauty in all her erotic glory, I could see Samantha on screen. Not only do I think it would make a better movie, but I think that Ms. Tyler’s descriptive writing would work well in live action, especially when it comes to Samantha’s intricate outfits.

I cannot help but compare this to 50 Shades of Grey. There are obvious similarities, but skilled writing, more three-dimensional characters and general forethought on the part of the author makes this read both more interesting and more sexy. In fact, I can say that I am not a fan of Samantha’s personality or even her relationship with Jack as a whole, and I still found Wrapped Around Your Finger to be rather enjoyable. I would definitely recommend it to anyone who wants a more realistic view of BDSM or simply a sexy story that’s decently written.

You can buy it from Amazon or any of the retailers that stock books from the publisher

 

Comment

Categories: Books, Reviews

Uberkinky Bondage Tape

October 15th, 2014

UberKinky Bondage Tape
$6.36 from Uber Kinky

I don’t often talk about my family, but I’d like to start this post with an anecdote. My sister is in her tween years and loves to spend time at my apartment playing video games. I am more than happy to oblige, but if I don’t have notice, I might forget to remove something that she doesn’t need to see.

She has now twice discovered Uber Kinky’s bondage tape — which I have in both black and red — and asked what it was for. I had to explain that, no, it wasn’t duct tape. On the second occasion, I hope I saved my butt by telling her it was for costumes. I mean, it can be used for that, right?

Which brings me into my review. Bondage tape is a great way to bind someone to something or even to themselves, and, yes, it could be used as part of a costume. The great thing about this PVC tape is that it only sticks to itself, but it’s much less clingy than saran wrap. Wrap it around arms and legs until your bottom/submissive is secure or cut off a chunk and hope it’s long enough.

I can’t argue against the cleverness of the idea, and seeing someone wrapped in black or red PVC is certainly hot. It doesn’t pick up cat fur or human hair, which is fantastic! Plus, the stretchiness helps with bondage and costuming, but Uberkinky bondage tape is more frustrating than I was expecting for a couple reasons.

  1. It’s difficult to roll back up. Perhaps I should just completely unroll it and cut it into pieces to fold and store.
  2. If you do cut it, then you’ll either be lucky enough that you have the size lengths for reusing or you’ll wind up tossing some of the tape.
  3. While it sticks to itself, you’ll have to hold that first end in place as you wrap the bondage tape around. This is easier said than done, but not impossible.
  4. You’ll want to use several layers if you really want to keep someone bound because it can be ripped apart at the wrists. Alternatively, you could bind someone’s arms or legs in multiple places with fewer layers.

If you do decide to cut, it easily cuts more easily with a scissors than some restraints, and a paramedic scissor is a great tool to have during any scene anyway. Bondage tape can be moved much more easily than handcuffs in the event of an emergency, and you could cut it with a blade to make shapes. In fact, I feel like bondage tape is a cheap source of PVC for whatever kinky craft you might have up your sleeve.

I guess the point I’m getting at is that no matter how reusable and convenient bondage tape seems, it’s not actually as convenient or reusable as it might seem. And while bondage tape certainly doesn’t cost that much, you’ll save a lot of money if you just buy plastic wrap. It won’t look as nice, but it’ll do the same job. With that said, bondage tape is going to do a better job of not ripping out your hair, and it’s certainly more durable when it comes to sharp edges.

20 yards of bondage tape in each roll will likely go a long way, and there’s nothing stopping you from using discarded tape in another project.

I suppose, to wrap this up, I like bondage tape, but I don’t love it the way I expected. It’s hardly a risky investment, though. Give it a try and let me know how you feel.

1 Comment

Categories: BDSM, Reviews

Ceramix No. 5 & 6

October 9th, 2014

Ceramix #5 and #6
~$15 from Amazon

I don’t typically combine reviews, but I’ve already written about a Ceramix dildo. I liked it. I liked it enough to try others in the line, which really isn’t typical for me. However, I didn’t figure that three reviews would be useful, especially when one of those reviews are of two very similar toys.

Ceramix #5 is a purple, white and black toy with ridges and a G-spot curve at the end. The other is a ridged, black-and-white toy with a contoured smooth head. Since I’d already tried a Ceramix piece with warm water, I wanted to experience one with cold water. I set about popping about the stopper at the end.. and broke my nail and a pair of tweezers. Like, my tweezers is now all jacked up because it’s damned near impossible to get the stopper out.

I gave up and only filled one with warm water. I simply ran the other under color water for quite a bit. And the thing is? The way that ceramic holds temperature, this was enough to keep it cold for around fifteen minutes at least. My masturbation sessions wasn’t super long and it stayed cold for the whole time I needed it to, which says to me that the whole water thing isn’t so necessary. Either way, I will refrain from filling and simply use water on the exterior in the future.

In fact, I still have water in one of the dildos because omg-I-have-to-pull-out-that-damn-stopper-again!?

I started with the #6 with its contoured head. I think I like the look of this dildo better. Sure, it’s a little reminiscent of Beetlejuice, but maybe that’s not a bad thing. The contoured head looks a bit like, well, modern art. This thing should be on a mantle somewhere, and I find the strict black and white stripes to be rather appealing, too.

But during use? It was underwhelming. I couldn’t feel the ridges. The overall rigidity felt nice but less effective than I’d like. It felt just okay. I was bummed. The site lists this as 1.75 inches in diameter, but that’s actually the side of the base. The actual diameter is closer to 1.25 inches give or take, and it’s definitely smaller toward the tip, which is part of the reason the ridges were harder to feel, I think.

So you can imagine my surprise when the Ceramix #5 turned out to be much more noticeable. I think the ridges are a little deeper, but the toy is also larger by about 1/4 inch through the length of it. The #5 is less visually appealing to me. It’s less sophisticated, but it feels much better with its lazy “S” shape. Very loose S, but the G-spot curve hugs my pubic bone almost freakin’ perfectly when it’s not fully inserted. It’s like this thing was made for me specifically.

I also preferred the slightly shorter length — Ceramix No. 5 is 7.75″ long and the other is 8.25″ in length. The base takes up about 1/2 inch on both. I think the generally straighter shaft on Ceramix No 6 means I try to insert more, while the curve on the $5 prevents me from “over” insertion ad bruising my cervix.

Perhaps a difference was that the  Ceramix #5 was filled with warm water, which created a gentle but noticeable heated sensation. I had run the other under cool water. It didn’t feel better or worse necessarily, but it may have caused me to be subconsciously more rigid. But while the Ceramix #6 might have been more pleasing to the eye, it was the other dildo that I preferred actually inside of me.

Either piece will be harness compatible thanks to the flat base, which also works quite well a sa handhold. Ceramic is slick like glass, but I used both with lube. Turns out it was a silicone-based lube when I expected it was water (and the session included two silicone toys — oops!). This wasn’t problematic when it came to grasping and controlling the toys.

Unlike glass, Ceramix is much lighter, especially without any water in the hollow.

Both can be easily cleaned with oil and water, but I’m finding the silicone lube is being extra stubborn. You could boil or toss in the dishwasher with your other dildos.

Neither comes with any storage option, so you might want to invest in a storage pouch or a sock or something to keep these from clinking around noisily in your drawer or toy box. You could store them in the foam insert that comes inside the box, but it’s going to need more space, of course.

 

Comment

Categories: Dildos, Reviews

Lovehoney Deluxe Sex Toy Case

September 30th, 2014

Lovehoney Lockable Toy Case Large
$42.99 from Lovehoney

Sex toy storage is a finicky thing. Good storage options seems to be few and far between, and even companies that everyone seems to love have gone out of business. It’s hard to keep up with which companies are in business and what items are available. Even when you find a company you like, its products are likely expensive.

And many of us toy lovers are fairly frugal. I’m more likely to spend money on an expensive sex toys than toy storage. In fact, it almost makes zero sense to invest in expensive boxes, bags and totes for storage of your sex toys at home when you can stop by Walmart or your local home improvement store and get a chest or cart for far less than any toy company would charge.

In fact, I think that’s another issue with sex toy storage: companies should focus on travel rather than home storage. With the deluxe sex toy case, I think Lovehoney has done a decent job in creating a travel-friendly storage option with the deluxe sex toy case.

This case is made of a firm plastic that has some give so it can bend if the items in it take up a height of more than 2.75 inches. It measures 13.5 inches by 6.5 inches (wider than the FYN toybox), and there is storage on either side of the case when you open it up. One side features an allover mesh pocket. The other is split with one open mesh pocket and two elastic straps.

This case looks rather small in the product photos for some reason. It may be because of the size of the rabbit vibrator shown in the product photos.  The case fits:

There is probably room for another full-length toy or two, and you could definitely cram more toys into the case if you’re good at Tetris. The base of the Ceramix No 6. is actually a little more than 2.75″ wide, so it causes the plastic case to bend outward a bit. However, this isn’t going to be a problem with usage.

Lovehoney Deluxe Sex Toy Case

Lovehoney Deluxe Sex Toy Case

I enjoy the variety of storage options. The zippered pouch keeps everything in place while the smaller pouch on the other side would be good for things that won’t move around and can safely touch (IE not jelly!). You’ll probably want to play around with the straps to see what fits best. Lovehoney actually send me the G-spot attachment for the Hitachi on accident, but you can see how well it works in the space.

And that half pocket on the one side? It actually two layers of mesh with a strip of Velcro keeping them together. I didn’t even notice at first, but it’s the perfect place to keep condom or lube and wipe packets without them moving. It’s great for the Wartenberg wheel, which I don’t want stabbing me when I reach into the case, and mobile tins of lube or oil.

Securing the case is easier with two zippers. There are small loops on either for you to slide the lock through. In Lovehoney fashion, it’s a red, heart-shaped combination lock. The default combination is 1-1-1-. We all know how tricky that can be. A heart-shaped button pops open the wired part of the lock, which just fits through the zipper holes. I haven’t reset the lock, but you’ll want to hold the button while you pick your combo.  I do find the lock to be a bit finicky to remove and get in place. I wouldn’t be able to do it in the dark and wouldn’t want to try in a hurry.

The loop to the lock creates a small handle that you can grasp with your fingers, but there’s no larger handle on the Lovehoney large sex toy case. This is the one thing I would change about it. I’d love a handle on the back of the “binding.” It would make this sex toy case truly fantastic.

The heart theme is repeated on the front/top of the case, which features the Lovehoney heart symbol. It’s also worked into the purple lining on the inside, which is cute and doesn’t really take up space. The lining seems to be a nylon blend, which you could wipe clean if you spilled lube.

The large sex toy case could certainly work for your overnight trip or play party, but it’s larger and less conspicuous. I think it would work better if you wanted to transport some BDSM items as paddles, floggers and such would work better in this case than a smaller one with plenty of room for a couple toys. I can fit both the 12″ fur paddle and the Bettie Page paddle in the strap side with about an inch to spare, the case is thin enough that the inside is almost the same dimension as the exterior.

If you want a smaller case or you’re not sure whether you’ll love this, Lovehoney offers two other sizes. The medium toy case costs less than $30 and the small is just 7″ by 5″ for $26.99. That one’s ideal for bullets, mini vibes, condoms and smaller bottles of lube. I think the medium would be the best option if you’re looking for an overnight case. You could easily fit a couple toys, lube and condoms with a pair of panties and maybe some wipes for cleanup.

I don’t think you could go wrong with any or all of these cases, really.

4 Comments

Categories: Reviews, Storage

Entice Emilia

September 23rd, 2014

Entice Emilia
$58.96 from Of Sex and Love Store

CEN’s Entice line is attractively designed. Sleek boxes and toys that come in purple or pink silicone with clean lines attracted my eye. I opted to try the Emilia. It’s a dual stimulator that’s almost-but-not-quite a rabbit. While I may have loved rabbits once upon a time, they’re not a favorite of mine anymore.

I actually first tried the Emilia externally. This was where I found myself curious about the flexible neck of the shaft. It’s not exactly floppy, but it’s not good for pressure that I like externally. This also isn’t going to make it a good thrusting toy internally, and while it’s not as difficult to use as the Dorcel vibe, I would prefer a more rigid shaft.

The shaft is also pretty small, so this might be a good toy if you’re not into gigantic insertables. I do tend to like something larger, however. The specs measure it as 1.25 inches in diameter. This is actually the max with at the toy closer to the edge of the shaft. It’s gradually thinner toward the neck, where it’s flexible.  I don’t typically need a pronounced head to get G-spot stimulation and the curve of the shaft was almost perfect.  This might not be the vibe for you if you do like a ridged head that you can’t possibly ignore.

Similarly, the tiny clit protrusion is just a fraction of the length of your typical rabbit. Unless your clit basically dances right at the edge of your vaginal opening, it’s not going to provide direction stimulation. This might be okay if you like general stimulation. The curve of the toy did seem to hug me almost perfectly.

It seems like CEN had some trouble with the two motors. Perhaps My Emilia is defective, but there’s a distinct rattle as though the housing isn’t tight enough around the inner workings.  While I’m use to the first settings being steady vibration, this isn’t the case with Emilia. The first setting is both motors, the second is just the clit stim motor and the third is just the shaft vibration.

This is followed by a fast pulse in both motors, a surprisingly deep escalation pattern and a back-and-forth escalation between the two motors. The last setting is both motors going steady. It seems to be stronger than the initial mode in the cycle. Fortunately, it returns to this first mode when you turn it off. Otherwise, I wouldn’t have been able to describe the settings at all. They’re in some crazy order that makes no sense. The two modes where both motors are vibrating continuously should be right next to one another. And there’s no helpful material. The included instructions are generic for any sex toy and not the Entice line or the Emilia specifically.

All of this might you think that I dislike the toy. But to be honest, it was effective enough when used as anticipated to get my to squirt. I actually quite like the weird escalation setting, and some of the other settings seem to produce vibrations that are deeper than the steady vibes. There’s definitely some quality control issues, but this isn’t a terrible toy by a long shot. It even survived a silicone lube incident. My bad.

The shaft vibrations are fairly deep, but there’s a rattling of the housing that makes them seem buzzier than they are. The clitoral vibrations a deep, but any setting that uses both motors makes this less noticeable.

This is especially true when you consider the price. It’s less than $60 fro Sextoy.com. In fact, you can save 15% with code EMILIA15 when you buy it now.

Caveat: this toy is toy is touted as USB rechargeable. It comes with the cable and no AC adapter. You can find adapters for at cheap as a dollar at places like Walgreens, though. The real nit I have to pick is the charging port access through the silicone at the base of the toy. Other companies have tried that shrinking-hole style. It’s especially frustrating with  Emilia because the hole seems slightly misaligned with the port beneath it. I have to find the right angle to get it to go in. With frequent use, I’ll be a pro, but I’m not sure how frequently I’ll use this.

CEN Sexpert

Comment

Categories: Reviews, Vibrators

Image © MisterUnlucky; used with permission.