How FeedBurner Outed Me, Twice

September 16th, 2012

A while back, I decided to burn my feed to give readers more ways to subscribe (email being the big one) and let me track those subscriptions more easily for giveaways. FeedBurner was the obvious solution, and I’d already used it with other blogs. I don’t personally subscribe to any feeds via email and few feeds at all. I check on Google Reader or my phone’s RSS app, but I prefer to stay up-to-date with blogs that I read by actually visiting them. I’m old school like so.

So when I burned the feed for of Sex and Love to my normal FeedBurner account, I thought nothing of it. I didn’t realize that you could actually see a link to my Google+ profile and that FeedBurner used my email address as the sender’s. One of my readers notified me. We joked a bit, and then I quickly set out to rectify the situation. Feedburner includes a handy option to permanently transfer ownership, so I did. I thought all was well and good.

I was wrong. I signed in to my normal Gmail, which I rarely use, to see a kind message from someone who enjoyed my reviews and followed them via FeedBurner. I knew something was wrong, but the actual copy of the blog post to which she was replying didn’t show my photo or email address at all. It took some Google-fu to figure out that, despite having switched ownership, to sender email had remained the same for my feed.

I headed back to FeedBurner once more, but couldn’t find the location to change this for the life of me. I was feeling frustrated, because FeedBurner’s navigation and layout is overly complex. There was also no location where I could preview exactly how email updates would look to my readers. I eventually found the solution (Publicize > Email > Communication Prefs) and changed my sender’s email. Now, all my email subscribers will see messages from Adriana @ of Sex and Love, like it should’ve been when I permanently switched ownership. That seems like something Google should do for you.

Regardless, I never expected this to be a problem. Judging from the reactions of my Twitter friends, neither did they. At least one person changed her information after talking with me.  Google has really been the bane of my existence when it comes to (trying to) blog anonymously. I don’t have much to lose, but others do.

The moral of the story is, ultimately, to avoid mixing any accounts or emails between your identities even if you think that there’s no way it could be a problem. Setup PayPal with additional email addresses. Use an address specifically for your sex blog/reviewing identity. Create separate instant messaging accounts. Sign up for Disqus twice. Anonymity, like freedom, requires you to plan for it.

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Bibliophile

September 11th, 2012

I’m reading when you enter the room unannounced–about hard bodies and hared cocks and toe-curling orgasms. My legs are splayed beneath the sheets and the outline of my hand between them is plain to see. I can smell my own arousal and am distracted enough by the words on the page, or maybe the words in my head, that I don’t notice your arrival. You swoop in, ripping the book my my hands. At first, I’m angry, worried that I will lose my page but then l as realization sinks in, I look up to meet your eyes. I act more brazen than I really feel, caught in the act. I expect to see some sort of judgment in your eyes; instead, I see that familiar mischievous twinkle. I hope you can’t hear my sigh of relief.

“Devouring your smut again, I see.” You make a production of scanning the page with your eyes. I’m too busy wondering what you’ll do next to admire their depth or the way your glasses frame them perfectly. You continue talking, reading from the page in your most mocking tone,

“Daniels’ cock entering her pussy, slick with arousal. Jason’s cock… What kind of filth is this? You’re reading about group sex? You’d rather get off from these words than me?” you demand, almost managing to sound convincing. Almost.

I decide to play along. “Yes. Yes, I would. I can get off to any scenario imaginable thanks to my books.” I motion toward the short stack on the nightstand, freshly delivered by the UPS man., I wonder what he’d think if he knew what was in those boxes. “It’s never the same in the stories..” I trail off as you move closer.

“Is that so?” Book still in hand, you reach out and push me back against the bed. My t-shirt falls upward, revealing nakedness underneath, the swell of my stomach and breasts. You move to stand between my legs and your jeans seem an impossibly thick barrier between us. I want to be close to you, to feel if you’re hard. I hope you are.

You’re holding the book in my face as if to scold me for such a guilty pleasure. Without thinking, I reach out my tongue and flick it against the volume, careful not to cut myself on the paper. The atmosphere in the room changes immediately. You draw the binding down my chin, around my breast and belly button then back up around the other breast. My nipples have never felt this alive. You turn the book, grasping one cover and flipping through the pages so they brush against my ribs in rapid succession. It’s only a few seconds but it feels like forever as the air blows my hair back.

You pull your shirt off over your head and now I’m sure that I like where this is going. I wait for your pants to follow but they don’t. Instead, you roll up the book like it’s a newspaper and motion for me to assume the position–on all fours. I do, not entirely sure that a book should be treated in such a manner. The cover makes a “thwack” as it makes contact with my ass. It’s not the most effective impact object but I respect the novelty and naughtiness of the situation. A hard blow lands on the opposite cheek as though you noticed that I didn’t even flinch. They rain harder against my ass, soon leaving it hot and red.

The slick cover feels cold in contract as you change things up and glide it over my skin. I moan softly. The bed shifts and you’re learning over me. I feel your breath on my shoulders as you use a corner of the book to lightly tickle y back in the way that you know I like, eliciting a shiver. Suddenly, you’re pushing the book into my hand, telling me to find my place. I distractedly turn the pages, which now show unexpected wear, looking for where I left off when you grabbed the book.

You’re pulling off your pants and boxers as I search, a fast not lost on me. I give up trying to find my place as you take your stance behind me. Your cock slides inside me easily. In the stories you’d be “impossibly hard”and I “dripping with arousal.”

“Read.” You never command. I want to obey you more than anything. I feel frantic, for just a moment, remembering that I don’t know my place in the book. My mind struggles to find the words to say. I spread the book open beneath my fingers, my body obscuring the words from your view.

“He enters her from behind, his cock impossibly hard. It’s as though he and she are matching puzzle pieces, the way he fits so well. His thrusts seem to hit every spot, even the ones she never knew existed.” I got on, describing our movements, my thoughts. I wonder if you notice. It continues for only a moment before your hand snakes between my legs. My words turn into moans, primal and nonsensical, yet describing the scene somehow perfectly.

You surprise me with the volume of your moan, the intensity of your final thrust as you cum. I hadn’t expected that. You fall to your side, slipping out of me as you do. Your arms encircle my upper body to pull me back against you and I feel your familiar heat, over skin slick with sweat.

But you’re not finished. You reach for the book, pushing it between my thighs. I spread them slightly as you work on edge of the binding against my clit. It’s like a bolt of lightning has hit me and you’re soon moving the book in the hard and fast way that is sure to get me off. Soon enough, I eel my orgasm building. I open my mouth to moan but no sound escapes. The contractions of my pussy are stronger than I’ve ever felt and I squeeze my thighs together, hard, against the covers of the book. You pull it from between them and toss it to the side to replace it with your hand. My pussy pulses against your. Orgasm subsides.

“Good book?” you ask, face buried in my hair.

“Mmm,” I murmur in response.

The pages lie akimbo, like our limbs, looking exhausted as I feel–wet, in disarray and pages wide open for your to explore.

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Moving with Sex Toys

September 11th, 2012

I recently moved, and I’ve just now finished unpacking all my sex toys. Unpacking went far more quickly than packing. I knew exactly what I had and exactly where it was going. The bulk of them went into a rolling luggage thingermajib that was pretty heavy. I’d already gotten rid of plenty of toys. I mailed off eight or so boxes for swaps, gave some things to the former roommate and finally bit the bullet and threw away a lot of jelly/TPR shit. Slowly, I whittled my way down to a single drawer of toy swaps from an entire dresser full. It felt  awesome.

Unfortunately, I wound up with a drawer of toys I’d hoped to swap and forgot about when moving day came. While I was dropping off my cats at the new place, my aunt’s boyfriend opened the drawer to check that it was empty, and it wasn’t. He specifically dragged my roommate aside to point out what he’d found, but I don’t know how much of a big deal he made out of it. She told me when I came back, and everything that was in that drawer simply went into the trash. Unfortunately, my sister saw the Santa duckie and was all “oh! why don’t you want people to see this drawer?” I said I’d explain later, and my aunt quickly ushered her out.

Later, the aunt’s boyfriend brought it up in the truck, but he said “at least it wasn’t that bad. He’d lived with another couple and the wife had a penchant for carrots.” That was an entire story I’d like to avoid. I don’t know who else saw the toys, and most of them were in boxes, anyway, but there’s a lesson to be learned here: if you’re going to move, don’t forget sex toys in a dresser drawer. If you do, make sure you’re not there when people find them.

There’s a secondary lesson to this post, too. If you’re going to use a storage container like the locking case and it happens to get bumped during moving, make sure you included the default combination and the way to reset the combination lock on your sex toy review blog. You’ll thank yourself later.

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Big Boss

September 10th, 2012

Fun Factory currently offers the Big Boss G5 and the Boss dildo

I know, I’m ridiculous. This review has been a long time coming. A long time. But it’s one that I wanted to write for a couple of reasons, mostly because I quite like this toy and also because the comparison to the Big Boss is necessary. With a capital N. I loved my original Boss. In fact, that was the very name of the review. It remains a toy that’s pretty firm and pretty large, something that usually makes me hate all other toys, but I like the Boss. I like Fun Factory. I liked the vibrations. I liked the little clitoral nub, and I liked fucking myself with this vibrator. Got it? Okay.

So, I wanted to see if I’d like the Big Boss better. And was it really bigger? And would it be stronger or buzzier as a rechargeable version?

First things first. The Big Boss is bigger than the Boss. I’ve read more than one review that claims otherwise. Shut the fuck up. The Boss has a slightly smaller 1.6″ diameter. The Big Boss upgrades this to 1.75″. Neither are the biggest toys ever, but the silicone remains the same on both models. You can bend the shaft slightly, but it’s pretty firm. Fun Factory’s finish also creates a lot of drag that makes insertion pretty difficult. Not everyone likes it. I’m not going to lie to you all: I barely got this thing in. If G-spot stimulation were the end-all and be-all, this toy would have failed. It really would have. The Big Boss is too big for my tiny vagina (vaginy?!?) at this point. Now, if I were having sex or constantly using insertables or didn’t develop spasms at the thought of warming up, this wouldn’t be the case, but the Big Boss is a solid toy, and I just can’t do it. But that’s my fault, not its fault.

By the time I got anything inserted, I felt like I’d used an entire bottle of lube. It was only like 1/4, but, you know, I was all sorts of slippery. This was a freakin’ masturbation adventure, and who doesn’t like adventures?! The contoured head of this and a little lube and my clit is, like, the best adventure I’ve ever been on. I know, I know, this is an internal vibrator, but it works pretty damned well on my clit, and that’s precisely why I’ll be keeping it around. Even if it doesn’t work for its intended purpose, the Big Boss works damned well for other purposes. Multitasking motherfucker.

The Big Boss is also molded differently from the original. You might not even realize it from the pictures, but I noticed it. The one feature that I really liked with the Boss is that little clitoral nub. The shaft curves slightly, and on the inside of the curve is a little nub. It’s the result of two ridges that run parallel gently swooping together toward the handle/base of the vibe.. and it does nothing if you insert this straight, but I would insert the boss only halfway and, then, pull the rest upward, which allowed my clit to enjoy the pressure of the nub.

Unfortunately, the Big Boss pays homage but fails at offering any clitoral stimulation. The Big Boss has a ride on the outside of the curve, and I couldn’t feel it at all. On the whole, the Big Boss is straighter, while the original has a relaxed “S” shape. There’s this decorative ridge that gives the impression of a nub toward the base, but it does jack shit for my clit. I am ranting in rhymes. That’s how much it sucks. I don’t know why Fun Factory deviated but they were wrong.

However, I like the move to rechargeable. The original used the same buttons, with the addition of a boost button. I don’t know about you guys, but I don’t want to have to push down an extra button when I want extra juice. All the buttons were frustratingly difficult to press to boot. This isn’t the case with the Big Boss. The buttons are soft and responsive, and the base has that light that turns on when you touch it. All in all, it’s a vast improvement. I do find the looped handle better in theory than practice. My arms, hands, and fingers just don’t work at the right angles to work it, but it’s not like I can’t use the vibrator.

This used Fun Factory’s magnetic charger. It means the thing is waterproof if you want to go deep-sea diving with your Big Boss–I joke. The charger is finicky, though. You need to line it up just right and make sure not to bump it. You’ll probably want to check on it every so often to make sure it’s still charging. I say this from experience.

So does this produce a vibration that satisfies me? Yes. The Big Boss is definitely stronger than its predecessor. When I hold them both, I can feel it. The Big Boss is also a little buzzier. Normally, this would be a con, but I can’t fault it. Most manufacturers only give us strong and super buzzy, so I’ll accept this level of vibration. The comparison makes me realize, however, that giving the original a 4/5 stars for vibration was really generous. It’s probably only a three; although, the vibrations are the deep kind that I like. The newest model is a buzzy 4-ish. It’s no Hitachi, but it’ll do pig, it’ll do.

The Big Boss also slightly annoys me with the digital motor whine. Mine doesn’t seem cheap, per se, but it seems like something is loose-ish. I can’t say if it’s just mine or the whole line. My G4 Calla didn’t seem that way at all. Regardless, it wasn’t anything so distracting that I couldn’t enjoy the Big Boss. Ultimately, I have a lot of little complaints, and they would have resulted in a negative review for any other toy. The Big Boss didn’t do what I expected, but after a night with it, I was still flushed and sweating and on the other side of several orgasms. Who am I to complain?!

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What Every Online Sex Toy Store Needs To Have

September 9th, 2012

I’m surprised I haven’t written an article like this in the past, but I feel qualified to write one. If you run a store, if you want to, if you work with a sex toy retailer, run social media for one or are otherwise associated, take heed.

New Additions

I always know that SheVibe will show me new arrivals and change product order!

Listen, I’ve been around the block a time or two, so I know what’s already out there. What I want to know, especially if I’ve been a loyal customer of yours, is what’s new. You need to let me organize your categories by date added, at the very least. What I really prefer, however, is a “recent additions” page, or something similar. Plus, this makes your website look updated, which it should be.

Social Media Prescence

Social media isn’t rocket science, but it does take time. With it, you can build relationships and bill yourself as personal, a face behind the company. As a consumer, I sometimes use social media to verify whether you’re a legitimate business. When you’re on Facebook, Twitter, or Instagram, you instantly have access to your followers, who are often doom scrolling, anyway. Tell us what’s new or highlight product features. Give us coupons on Twitter, and we’ll shop at your site. Tell us when something’s on sale, and we’ll love you forever.

A Review System

Now, if no sex toy store had a review system, I’d be okay. After all, that’s sort of why this website and my reviews exist. And plenty of people don’t use on-site review systems to get their reviews, or they supplement them with reviews from sites like mine.

Lovehoney’s reviews put helpful information right at your fingertips!

But if you put those reviews right on your site, you provide an extra reason for consumers to use your website. You provide a form of interaction that cements your store in the customer’s mind. It gives you a good idea of products that are worth selling and putting on sale and those that you should drop. Reviews: you can’t go wrong with them.

People Skills

One of the websites that has frustrated me the most does so because the staff lacks people skills. There’s no understanding. There’s no polite asking. There’s only demanding and dictatorships. There are strict rules that change on a whim and a total breakdown of communication. You do not want to be that company.

Basic and Luxury Toys

I don’t always recommend a luxury toy. After all, I’ve tried plenty of Lelo and Jimmyjane toys that just didn’t do it. My favorite bullet isn’t luxury, and we don’t all have deep pockets. Yet some people do have a larger budget. Or choose to live in crappy apartments but splurge on sex toys. Some people save up all year. Others comb the Internet for sales like these. If you only focus on the super cheap or the amazingly expensive, you’re missing out on a large demographic. You’re making consumers go to other retailers to meet their needs and doing yourself no good.

Updated Stock

Just like I wanted to see what’s new, I want there to simply be new things. Add new toys and remove those that are no longer in production. If you have the resources, give us a system that lets us set alerts. Tell us how many are in stock (which can even encourage sales). Nothing’s worse than ordering from a company only to find out that the product doesn’t exist except, maybe, seeing ten-year-old toys that you know aren’t actually available on a site.

Babeland offers in-person and virtual sex education workshops that prove they understand sex (toy) safety!

Sex Toy Knowledge

I appreciate that many retailers have taken the time to remove vagina-tightening creams and toys with phthalates. Before they could make that decision, they had to know what items could potentially be harmful. My personal favorite? Toys described for anal play that obviously aren’t safe for the backdoor. When you know about toys and aren’t simply trying to make a quick buck, you know how to categorize them, pass on bad toys, and better answer customer questions. Win-win, right?

A God-damned Search Feature

Please let me search your every page with a little form on your every page. Please do not use a search plugin that does not respond immediately and interrupts or erases my typing.

So you want to know which (mostly) shops do these things? SheVibe, Good Vibes, and Lovehoney.

This is, by no means, a definitive list. There are plenty of things that a sex toy store should have. There are even more things that a store should have–and plenty of things it shouldn’t—if it also wants to run a successful community. What would you add to the list?

2 Comments


Facts You Didn’t Know About Sex Toys [Infographic]

August 20th, 2012

Adam and Eve scandalous facts

Presented by Adam & Eve – Scandalous facts you didn’t know about sex toys

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Body and Soul Connection Vibrator

August 18th, 2012

This is an archived review of a discontinued item.

This vibe either looks like the eyeball guy from Aah! Real Monsters or a laser robot from the video game Portal. The latter is exactly why I requested to review it, even though another model in the line up looks slightly more turret-like. Unfortunately, all the reasons that would have caused me to pass up this sex toy are exactly the reasons I should have.

It took me less than thirty seconds to realize this, honestly. The vibrations, powered by 2AAA batteries are super buzzy. Although it’s easy enough to switch through them with the single button, there’s not much difference between any of the settings, except for the horrible whine that I could hear over music that I was listening to at the moment. This was common in Lelo’s old toys, but it bugs me whether a toy costs less than $50 or more than $100.

The vibrations are so buzzy that I wouldn’t be surprised if someone told me this was powered by watch batteries. In fact, my body simply stopped being able to feel the vibrations after a few seconds. I kid you not. While the rabbit-ear-like attachments are flexible and rounded in a way that surrounds the clitoris nicely, but the depth of the vibrations is simply too high-pitched to to anything. Honestly, I think I might have liked this a bit more, if the vibrations had been deeper. I’m not surprised that they weren’t. Some folks would suggest that this is “Great for newbies”, but I just can’t see how this vibe is all that good for anyone. Does a person exist who is really, honestly that sensitive?!

Still, while I don’t normally like fluttering rabbit ears, the arms on this guy are a little less flexible. They don’t flop back and forth, and they’re wider, so they really hug my clit in a way that could be effective. I usually like pressure, though, and this design really doesn’t offer that. However, I do like that the single push-button works well when you turn the toy around. There’s technically two ways you can hold this flat against your body/around your clit, and this lets you find the best position for the button.

Connection's annoying battery packThis toy is kind of like the less awesome version of the Form 2, which I already didn’t like and have recently swapped away. The plastic base is round, and this toy is bigger so it’s easier for me to hold. However, you have to twist the bottom directly off from the top to insert the (useless) batteries. The whole thing is awkward, and it uses that quarter-twist style that I always have trouble lining up. Plus, the batteries sit in there vertically, without much support. They fall out pretty easily. Obnoxious, dudes.

At least Jimmyjane got the quality down. The Connection has soft silicone up top and shiny plastic on the bottom, and it’s not seamless in the least. In fact, there’s a visible line between the two portions of the toy, and it looks like a gout line full of gunk. Upon closer inspection, it’s not filled with gunk–thank God!–it’s just that the cut of the plastic is super sloppy. This toy feels low-quality now matter how you cut it.

Given the vibrations and the poor quality, I’m surprised by the MSRP. Luckily, sellers on Amazon offer this for less than half. I don’t know if I’d even spend $25 on this, but that’s a smaller hit to your wallet, if you’re convinced this will work for you.

Am I surprised though? Eh, not really. I almost always need something that uses AAs. The shape here does have some redeeming qualities, but it can’t overshadow all the things that bother me about the Body & Soul Connection.

CEN Sexpert

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