What Sex Toys Are Safe to Buy From Amazon?

October 9th, 2024

I’ve already discussed why you shouldn’t buy sex toys from Amazon. I stand by this general advice. Nothing internal. Or ingested.

That doesn’t mean you can’t outfit your nightstand or overnight bag with some things from Amazon (or even buy your nightstand or bag from the site!).

So what, if anything, do I think it’s okay to buy from Amazon?!

Books

Books are rather safe to buy on Amazon, especially if you prefer a digital version. (although you can help small brick-and-mortar stores by using Bookshop, instead). You can turn yourself on, learn how to find your G-spot, or discover your dominant persona with the help of these books. Amazon can also occasionally be helpful for finding out-of-print books because vendors can sell used copies.

Games

From sex dice to board games, Amazon has you covered. I think these games can be a good way to spice up or explore your sex life if you haven’t explored much.

Sex Toy Storage

Amazon sells all sorts of bags, boxes, and containers designed to hold your toys when not in use. For example, you can buy a Sugar Sak (or Blush’s version), which uses an antibacterial coating to keep you germ-free. Plus, toy storage is often lockable to keep your dildos and sexcessories away from prying eyes.

There are plenty of storage solutions that aren’t intended to be used with sex toys that you can coopt for that purpose, too. Epiphora makes a compelling argument about how drawer carts are one of the best ways to store your toys. You can also use shoe organizers, toolboxes, pouches, and makeup bags to store your favorite vibrator. If your bed is high enough, under-the-bed storage is a great option, too.

BDSM Gear

You can probably get by with the BDSM gear Amazon sells if you’re not doing suspension or immobilization. Most of the products that come up with a general search are brandless products from random random-letter-named vendors. This means they may not be the highest quality or match the product images. Pipedream and Calexotics both make bondage goodies that work well enough, and you can find plenty of them on Amazon’s marketplace, even if some of them are sold by “Ask Grandpa Gourmet Coffee brands.”

Amazon has restraints, blindfolds (even if they call them “sleep masks”), harnesses, bondage tape, impact play toys, cock cages, and nipple clamps, to name just a few. But if you want high-quality gear, you’re better off looking at sites like Stockroom or even Etsy.

Lingerie

Amazon has a whole section devoted to lingerie, and that includes items by reputable brands such as Dreamgirl and Seven Til Midnight. There are plenty of no-name brands, but the risks of even low-quality lingerie are minimal. At worst, lingerie may not look anything like the pictures, might be made from cheap materials, may be poorly made, or could look bad on you.

Sex Blankets

My Liberator Throw has come in handy for years. However, Amazon sells tons of waterproof blankets that are more affordable alternatives to the Liberator Throw.

Miscellaneous

I feel pretty comfortable buying some external items from Amazon.

  • Cock rings may be safe if you stick to stretchy ones unless you’re absolutely positive about your size
  • Massage stones like this one are a pretty safe bet
  • Massage candles that burn at low temperatures, like this soy candle I recommend that is available on Amazon
  • Touchless dispensers work well for lube
  • UV sanitizers come in a variety of sizes and styles, so they can fit a variety of toys to kill all the germies you can’t see and possibly double as storage

The Amazon Basics brand also makes decent rechargeable batteries. I’ve personally used them for years.

Amazon could also be a great place to get a first aid kid, paramedic sheers (including some for lefties like me), antibiotic spray, or ointment for your kinky and sexy times.

Basically, if it won’t go in you, it may be safe to buy on Amazon.

But..

A Word of Warning

Because the quality of things on Amazon may not be the best, you should carefully check toys for sharp, rough, or exposed edges. Leather, wood, plastic, and metal come to find with these imperfections, but I’ve even heard of silicone vibrators having seams so sharp they were unusable. This is especially important with impact play toys because imperfections can cause serious injury when hitting someone with an object.

Obviously, any exposed wires are a no-go. Even if they don’t shock you or burn down your house, they could become corroded.

If anything appears to be used, especially if you notice anything that could be a bodily fluid, toss it and request a refund.

Keep in mind that Amazon now sometimes ships things without any product packaging or even a shipping box if you don’t want anyone to see (or touch!) what you’re buying.

And if your order comes broken, doesn’t look like the description, performs worse than the reviews suggest, or quickly breaks, well, that’s Amazon for you!

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Welcome to Elust 177

September 15th, 2024

Elust 177 Cover Image

Cover image courtesy of Vivienne Black.

It’s been a while since I’ve done something like this, hey! Maybe you’ve forgotten all about roundups like Elust, which is known as the only place where the smartest and hottest sex bloggers are featured under one roof every month. It’s a great way to find your next erotic read or writer to follow.

Whether you’re looking for sex journalism, erotic writing, relationship advice, or kinky discussions, it’ll be in one convenient location here at Elust.

Plus, you can throw your hat into the ring to spread word about your work. Want to be included in the next Elust? Send in a post anytime for inclusion in the next edition.

Please subscribe to email updates to receive two emails per month from Elust. A reminder once a month on the 1st to send in submissions and a copy of the latest edition of Elust on the 15th of every month.

Sex Work

Gen West – When 3 Isn’t a Crowd

Oz in London – Sipping the Princess of Pop’s Prosecco, A Duo with Isabella Love

Lexi Rose – She Wants to Slurp – Food to Make Your Cum Taste Better

Maitresse Nuit – The Art of Balancing Desires

London Best Massage – LAM London Alternative Market

Kristina J. – Living in the Shadows: The Unseen World of a Sex Worker

UK Fetish – The Alchemy of Role Play and BDSM

Sex Worker Search – Privacy Policies of Sex Worker Directories

Lady in Latex – BDSM Dungeon Hourly Rentals in London

Erotic Fiction

Jerusalem Mortimer – In the Realm of the Sensei – Prologue 2

Product Reviews

Morgan Destera – TOY TEST – Funzze Jeweled Vibrating Butt Plug

Liz X Likes – Funzze Glass Dildos Seductive Rotary Surprise

Of Sex and Love- Why Do I Keep Breaking Vibrators? (a review of the Febos Wand)

Thoughts & Advice on Sex & Relationships

Sapora Knight – Boundaries: Elevate Your Intimate Connections to New Heights

Barefoot Sub – Today Is Not A Typical Day

Tantric Sexual Healing – Sexuality as a Path to Meditation: A Tantric Perspective

O Miss Pearl – Scenes From a Femdom Marriage

Witch of the Wands – Date Ideas to Reignite the Spark in Your Relationship

Books and Movies

Schey Place Books – Erotic-Romance Book of the Year

Future of Sex – Long Live the New Flesh: The Cronenbergs’ Take on Tomorrow’s Sexuality

History of BDSM – Tokyo Decadence (1992): The Celluloid Dungeon

Thoughts & Advice on Kink & Fetish

Beyond Nonbinary – The AI Dominatrix Training Academy and Why We Will All Be Slaves

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Why Are You Here? Or How People Find Themselves on a Sex Blog!

August 22nd, 2024

When I first wrote this post (back in 2010!), there was a bit of conversation on Twitter about searches that led to bloggers’ sites. I only had a handful, and most of them were pretty straightforward:

  • lockable sextoy case
  • make me cum porn
  • passion wave
  • silicone lube for sex at Walmart
  • vibrating rock chick g-spot and clitoral vibrator

Sex toy case is pretty popular overall; it was the most popular search term last month. Probably because I reviewed this locking sex toy case and also this toy box by Devine.

I’m not sure if people are interested in the make me cum clit sensitizer or if they’re demanding that Google sends them to porn that guarantees an orgasm. But I can sum up the product pretty quickly: don’t buy it. 😉 A lot of folks seem to think I know how to make the clitoris more sensitive (some products work, but I wish I could do that, too!)

On the other hand, some searchers were clearly interested in the Passion Wave and Rock Chick. There’s also more than one search for tentacle sex toys and tentacle sex stories – probably because of a review I did for Five Minute Erotica. The Icicles #52 and Octopussy dildo also fill this, er, niche. 

As of August 2024, however, things have changed a bit. For example, red white and blue dildo is one of my top searches. I’m not sure if people are feeling particularly patriotic, perhaps in anticipation (hope y’all enjoy my alliteration!) of Labor Day. Or maybe they want something to remind them of the simpler times of eating popsicles as a child. Either way, they wound up at this post about my favorite red, white, and blue sex toys. Alas, none of them are all three. In fact, the only red, white and blue dildo I can think of has been discontinued, so if you have suggestions, leave a comment!

I can help with those who are searching for VixSkin dildos, however. I’ve tried Spur and Tex, both of which were very nice (I hate that I read that in Borat voice). I think Slim will be lovely in some specific situations, but it wasn’t my ideal dildo.

Let’s continue, shall we? Someone is still searching for the long-discontinued Sqweel for some ungodly reason. Thankfully, the company no longer makes it so people don’t have to submit themselves to the same disappointment and discomfort I experienced. If you’re looking for a moving clitoral stimulator, I am a fan of Lelo’s Ora series.

As we wrap up, the people searching for tit clamps got plenty of information from my nipple clamp comparison post.

Others have looked for Lovehoney lingerie, and I’ve got some older reviews, but I was mostly less-than-enthused by them.

The final term I’m going to mention is mystery vibe, which may refer to the company that makes the Crescendo.

I think it’s interesting that none of these search terms is clearly looking for a review or information. I assume most of them intend to go specifically to a product page to make a purchase, yet my site comes up instead. That’s especially true for someone looking for silicone lube at Walmart (I recommend Uber Lube, though; just make sure it’s compatible with your sex toys). It seems that, even with the addition of AI, there’s still plenty of room for Google to improve.

Of course, no matter how you got here, I’m glad you are!

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Why Do I Keep Breaking Vibrators? (a review of the Febos Wand)

August 7th, 2024

Febos
$81.99 from Honey Play Box

It happened with my very first rabbit.

And, now, I can add the Febos by Honey Play Box to the list.

Which is a shame because I enjoyed the silicone’s velvety texture on the handle and head. The quieter motor was an upgrade to the massager I use most frequently. Or the Hitachi. You could use it with someone in the other room. The product description says it’s around 50db (and I do love that they include that info!), which Google assures me is about the hum of a “quiet refrigerator.” Do with that what you will.

It certainly looks nicer with its grey and silver color scheme. It’s modern and perhaps minimalistic. But it doesn’t need to look fancy. For that, Honey Play Box offers Stormi, which comes with gold details and its own magnetic charging case.

The flexible neck is also a necessity. And all of this on a rechargeable battery that never lost power despite me not charging it out of the box (I didn’t get a chance to charge it before I broke it)?

Yeah, it was looking promising.

I used it a time or two with fairly positive results. I enjoyed the flexibility of the neck, which is a must with a straight handle like this. I’ve really been spoiled with the Miracle Massager, I guess. That’s ultimately how I broke Febos. But I prefer a flatter head like I’m used to. Most heads are round, however, and at least it’s not weirdly spongey like the Magic Wand Original.

I also got to experiment with a wand with more than just “high” and “low” settings. Febos has four other pulsation and escalation settings. The fast pulsation feels especially nice due to the depth and strength of the vibrations. Each setting is also available in three speeds. Some people might want something weaker or stronger than it offers, but unless you know you need the extremes, this wand will likely cover your needs.

I see two complaints that some people might have:

  • There are no attachments for Febos, even though the company offers some for their other wands.
  • It’s rather bulky and heavy at just under 12 inches long (Stormi and Pomi are both smaller and lighter, if that’s a concern).

Those critiques might not matter if you like the power of this massager. It’s also got one big selling point: unlike most other wands I’ve used (I guess save for Lelo’s Smartwand), this one is waterproof. That’s only possible thanks to the cordless design. Truthfully, it may be

But I’m not much for playing in the shower, so I kept it boring and only used it in bed.

So how did I break it? I was pressing the head against my body and pulling the handle away from it, which put too much pressure on the neck and head. I feel something give.. just a little. Then I heard it crack. Now it turns on, but it can’t vibrate fully. It almost sounds like something is just out of place.

It’s what happened with the Rabbit Habit (but I liked it enough to buy another), and the Symphony G-Harmony. In fact, I didn’t even remember breaking the second one until rereading my review. But it’s all because of the same desire to get pressure. (Technically, one of my Icicles glass dildos also broke but that was an accident and likely due to poor design, not my pubic bone.) At least it’s been over a decade since I last broke a toy!

Honestly, this is such a me problem that I can’t even hold it against the toy. And Honey Play Box has a 100-day risk-free guarantee. If you don’t love a toy or if it doesn’t work right, they’ll refund you.

Currently, Febos is less than $60 with coupon code OFSEXANDLOVE or just bny using my link, which, honestly, seems like a steal. And it’s enough to get you free shipping. Otherwise, you’ll pay $81.99 fullprice, which is still pretty competitive.

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Don’t Buy Sex Toys From Amazon

July 30th, 2024

Why you shouldn't buy sex toys on Amazon

I know I might sound paranoid, but I can’t recommend most toys and goodies available on Amazon in good faith, no matter how easy it is to order.

There are several good reasons to avoid buying sex toys from Amazon:

  • It might be counterfeit (images + info may be stolen from real products)
  • They might send you a used toy
  • Important material and safety information might not be available or may be purposely misleading (who knows if it’s really body-safe silicone?)
  • Products might not be safe for beginners
This listing shows a vibrator that is absolutely not safe for anal play

All of these things become even more important because I’m positive that many people head to Amazon without reading blogs about sex toys like SayOh or mine, which can help them find the best product for them and use it safely. This means shoppers lack the necessary information to make a smart purchase, let alone use a toy safely. I cannot tell you how many product listings and reviews I’ve seen that don’t offer the proper warnings! For example, anyone selling or discussing anal toys should make it clear how important a flared base or handle that is significantly larger than the neck of the toy is.

But product listings sometimes outright lie. They may say silicone, which is a fantastic material for sex toys and lube, but what you get might be porous. Even if you know what you’re looking for, ensuring you get it on Amazon is easier said than done.

All of this is complicated by the fact that Amazon is a seller and a marketplace. Sellers (also known as vendors) can list products on Amazon and either ship them directly or have Amazon handle the shipping. Sometimes, a brand sells its own products on Amazon. Other times, vendors are simply stores that sell products by other brands.

But it’s even more complicated than that. Many brands use the same manufacturers to make products and simply slap their names on the packaging even though the products are identical. These products may be decent, and they may be crap. If it’s an unknown brand, I worry about the latter. You could be happy with the product, you might feel like your money was wasted, you may need to fix an item before you use it, or you may regret your purchase and the harm it caused deeply with no recourse.

It’s also harder to tell who is selling something and where it’s coming from than it once was. When performing a search, you can select sellers (although I doubt most people do). Even if you do use that, many dropship vendors have seemingly random names like those to the right. When they violate Amazon’s terms, they just sign up with new random names with no real consequences.

The seller and shipper may impact the protections you have as a shopper. Consider the following examples of a toy sold and shipped by a vendor, a toy sold by a third-party vendor and shipped by Amazon, and a product sold and shipped by Amazon. You might feel better with third parties because they offer returns if something doesn’t work, but that also means they might send you previously used toys!

A product is more likely to come from an Amazon vendor if it has one of those string-of-text names that try to cram in as many keywords as possible (see below). Typoes are optional.

In the example above, “Mononii” is the brand, and clicking the link will take you to the “Monomii store” and show products from multiple vendors. Because vendors are terrible about tagging their products correctly (perhaps on purpose?), these brand store pages can be frustrating and may show only a fraction of products or show a bunch of products that aren’t made by the brand. Doing so for Fetish Fantasy only brings up one product by the brand even though vendors sell various Fetish Fantasy products. What gives?

That’s not the only issue with shopping on Amazon, either.

Why Amazon Reviews Suck Now

I also have a particular beef with Amazon reviews, which have become almost useless across the board. The reviews might be misleading because of highjacking or they were purchased. Amazon no longer posts every review, so it may withhold negative reviews to increase sales. It’s why so many products have 4+ star ratings. Average ratings used to cover the whole range, making them more useful.

I’ve used hundreds of toys and very few are 5-star toys, yet Amazon ratings suggest all these brandless products are perfect?! I don’t think so!

Seriously, how is this helpful in the least?

A good piece of advice is to ignore 5-star reviews and compare 4-star reviews to 1-star reviews. This gives you a better idea of how a product really performs. Of course, vague 4-star reviews and 1-star reviews complaining about shipping aren’t really helpful. I often find that the average consumer isn’t a great reviewer. But you can often find someone who writes a good enough review with preferences similar to yours to be helpful.

Where does that leave us?

Sex Toys You Shouldn’t Buy on Amazon

Most of these concerns apply to any product, but it’s especially concerning with something you might put in your body!

This includes essentially anything you insert or has the potential to break skin:

  • Dildos
  • Vibrators
  • Anal toys
  • Kegel exercisers
  • Lube
  • Ball gags
  • Needles
  • Blades
  • Urethral sounds

I would also add supplements to this list.

No one wants a used dildo showing up at their doorstep. Given how Amazon often skips putting things in boxes, discretion may also be a concern.

You don’t want your vibrator to stop working. Nor would you be happy with an infection, allergic reaction, or injury from trying to enjoy yourself in the bedroom. A trip to the emergency room would be even worse. All of this might be possible if you buy a product that’s intentionally mislabeled or simply lacks the right information.

And if you’ve ever read a review about something starting a fire or electrocuting the user, you understand why you need to be a savvy shopper,

When It’s Okay to Buy Sex Toys on Amazon

Does this mean you should never buy sex toys from Amazon? Not necessarily. Some products pose fewer risks than others. If there are helpful reviews of the product and vendor and if you can’t find a similar product elsewhere, you may have to bite the bullet, even if it doesn’t vibrate.

Look for established brand names (random names show up for brands that only exist on Amazon, too). Stick to products that have multiple actual photos, including those with packaging. Otherwise, something might show up at your door in a plastic bag with no additional information.

Do research about product safety outside of Amazon. You might even find that Amazon isn’t the cheapest option! I frequently update my sales page, so you can save money on sex toys.

That’s the difference between sex toy stores like Shevibe, Lovehoney, or Babeland, Stockroom, that vet their products and Amazon, where it can be difficult to know who made something. Sex toy retailers often carefully tag products for brand, features, and material, you can filter your searches based on that information.

On top of that, Amazon doesn’t need your money or care about you. Our favorite stores and makers appreciate our patronage and show care in the products they carry, how they market them, and their customer service. When has the same ever been true for Amazon?!

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Sweet 16

July 21st, 2024

More than fourteen years ago, I wrote about why I keep up this blog. At that point, I’d already been doing it for six years and saw plenty of people and companies come and go. I’d tried tons of toys, lingerie, and accessories. It seems fitting that I answer the question again on the 16th anniversary (!) of this blog.

So why do I do this? Why am I still here?

The answer isn’t, like it was then, about getting stuff to review. I rarely review things anymore. I just don’t need to try another sex toy, honestly. I have so many. I’ve tried so many more.

It’s not about rank or praise because those have long since disappeared. While the internet is more competitive than it once was, fewer people seem to read blogs like this. The sex reviewer and blogger community doesn’t exist like it once did, either. Plus, as I grew busy with my life outside of the blog, I have not always posted consistently (don’t even remind me of the periods when I disappeared from Twitter and Facebook!). Talk about bad for SEO!

But I am still here because even if my reasons have changed, my passion for sexuality remains. So many people still need information about sex, whether for themselves, their children, their students, their patients, or their clients. That information is limited, both directly and indirectly, because it’s a sensitive and sometimes controversial topic. People are left to their own devices–often porn–to learn about sex, but what they’re learning is so often more harmful than helpful. We are a long way from providing access to that information to those who need it, not just for satisfaction in the bedroom but for quality of life. Through this blog, I can contribute to that information via resources for the general public.

Yet that’s not all I want to do. Going back to school showed me that I am also interested in helping us learn more about sex through research to continue to help people–and that I am qualified to do so. I am sure some people are unsurprised to learn that I plan to apply for PhD programs this fall.

Whether I am accepted or not, my future as a sex educator will expand beyond the sex toy reviews that had been the focus of this blog for so long. Of course, I’ve already made changes, such as my shift to reviewing books, my Science of Sex feature, and my well-intended media recommendations. On social media, I’ve spent more time sharing links to about research, for example.

But that’s not all. I plan to add courses and host webinars. Perhaps I’ll dip my toe into the world of podcasts–as a guest, of course. Eventually, I want to write a book to reach people beyond the screen. I want to start a Patreon to help fund this endeavor and provide exclusive content to my patrons.

To this end, I need a new name and brand and a domain and website to go with it (of course, I have been hung up on this for years. It’s no easy task, coming up with a brand, and ChatGPT has yet to help. How do you remain punchy and memorable but broad enough to not pigeonhole yourself too much? And don’t get me started on SEO!

I’ll get there eventually.. somehow. In the meantime, I’ll still be here, updating old posts, fixing broken links, and otherwise housekeeping behind the scenes. It’s not much of a party, but I hope to see you around.

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Onward!

May 18th, 2024

More than three years ago, I wrote about my return to school. Now, I write about my exit (even if what I really should be doing is updating the sex toy sales page).

Or, perhaps more accurately, I write about what’s next.

Earlier this year, I started the coursework for sex educator certification with Sexual Health Alliance. The course aligns with AASECT requirements, so completing it, including a final project and supervision hours, will likely set me up to get AASECT certified, too.

In the fall, I will apply to PhD programs, which I have been researching for months and for which I feel (fairly?) prepared.

In the meantime, I need to spearhead some big changes to my site site(s) and brand. I want to start offering classes or webinars, for example. So let me know what you’re interested in!

I think there are more potential audiences than I previously considered, including professionals and students, and I am feeling rather inspired about it all. Ideally, I would be able to help produce information (through research) and spread that information on this blog, among other places (a book, perhaps?!). The former depends on me being accepted into a PhD program, but I’m trying to remain positive!

So send all your positive vibes (ha!) this way, and check back soon!

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Image © MisterUnlucky; used with permission.