This lack of experience has led me to doubt myself. Am I really a dominant? Could I even be? For a while I wondered if I were a switch but, then, I realized I am not. There is nothing in me that is submissive. However, I respect submission and those who feel that and I can only imagine how enthralling it would be. It’s just not for me.

Lately I have again been considering the part of myself which is attracted to BDSM and I began to doubt once more. I am not entirely sadistic. What’s more, I am more masochistic than one would typically consider a dominant. Again, I wondered “could I be a switch?”

I think I have been uncomfortable with my interest in BDSM because I could not find my place in it. I also think that I will be able to do so in the future. I visited a few places online and while many communities focus on the sadistic Dominant and masochistic submissive, a few places recognize the many shades of grey within BDSM. It was here where I read the words of other Dominants like me who had no desire to submit but who still enjoyed pain and sensation.

I love sensation. I love feeling silks and furs and creamy body washes on my skin. I like the idea of being bound, sometimes. I just don’t want to person who is providing me with such sensations to do so in any way which suggests they are in control.

I have a dominant personality and require the best submissive for me to top while still relinquishing control. And that’s okay with me.

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