So forgive if this sounds teenagery or, really, if all my recent posts do. Dating is new to me. Having sex with more than one guy in my life is new to me. These are not things I as able to do ten years ago, and I don’t even think I’m doing them well now. But I’m trying.

And on an everyday basis, I don’t listen to every song and think “This is sooo me.” It’s just that these two songs really seem to sum up how I’m left feeling after this whole.. experience.

The first song is one that I loved immediately when I downloaded Kelly Clarkson’s Stronger. I was so surprised that “Dark Side” became a single while “Don’t Be A Girl About It” didn’t. It’s catchy and, dare I say, fierce. Granted, I don’t necessarily condone the idea that being a “girl” is negative, but it’s a damn fine way to drive home the point.

If there were any specific lyrics that I thought summed up my thoughts, these are it:

It’s getting old, your ‘poor me’ thoughts
Believe me boy when I say ‘so what’
This broken record thing has got to stop
I’m losing interest in your pillow talk

I mean, it was two weeks, dude! Get over it/me/us/yourself. Grow a pair. Grow the fuck up. Life goes on. I’ve been fighting the urge to post this song on the guy’s wall or my own wall for weeks. I immediately thought of it when this shit went down.

On the other hand, I hadn’t listened to “King Of Anything” for quite some time, so it wasn’t until when I was in the shower yesterday that I realized how perfect it also was for the situation.

Both these women are great singers, but Sara has that singer-songwriter thing going on that I was really into a couple years ago.

You sound so innocent
All full of good intent
You swear you know best

But you expect me to
Jump up on board with you
Ride off into your dellusional sunset

I’m not the one who’s lost
With no direction oh
But you won’t ever see

You’re so busy makin’ maps
With my name on them in all caps
You got the talkin’ down just not the listening

The recurring theme that she doesn’t need to save her hits home because the emo guy actually said something about how “He wanted to fix things/me” as if I were broken. I am not broken. I do not need fixing. I am just not that into you, dude. This guy was sort of an accidental douche. He didn’t intend to be but his “woe is me” attitude meant he wound up treating me like crap in some ways because he couldn’t get beyond his own hurt, which wasn’t really anyone’s fault. I didn’t mean to break his heart. He should keep that thing on a leash.

You can’t mainsplain away my feelings. Just stop talking. You don’t know me better than I do, mmkay?

So, thanks to Kelly and Sara for singing it like it is. Less thanks to the emo dude for his shitty reaction to the letdown.

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