Lovehoney Short Satin Robe
$29.99 from Lovehoney

I own a few robes. I don’t frequently use them; although, I could (to answer the door when the mailman inevitably knocks while I sleep).  One is a bright pink option from Victoria’s Secret, and the other is a black lace number that I like but doesn’t really cover anything for the aforementioned use. A black, satin robe seemed right up my alley.

And you can get one from Lovehoney as part of their lingerie line, which I’ve reviewed items from before. Those items have been hit or miss. Although I’m quick to admit that my relationship with lingerie isn’t what it once was.

Out of the bag, the satin seems stiff (and it’s noticeably stiff compared to the VS robe that I’ve had for over a decade). These things tend to soften up over time, but it does make the robe seem cheaper than I like. At around half the price of some other robes, however, it might be a sacrifice that most people are willing to make.

I would forgive the robe that issue if it fit well, but it’s a bit awkward. First things first. I ordered one size rather than the plus size (get it here), and it just meets around my rib cage.  I wasn’t sure if the fit was small because of weight gain or what, but my VS robe still fits comfortably with room. I think Lovehoney is just making these robes small. So, I would definitely size up if you’re unsure or want extra room.

The result is a robe that leaves my breasts hanging out. I might wear it over a bra or another piece of lingerie for someone else. I could not, for the life of me, find a picture that captured this and the shape of the robe in its entirety that I was comfortable posting. And no one wants to feel that bad in something that should be sexy.

I have a stuffed animal that looks okay in it, however.

The boxiness of this robe, which leaves my tits hanging out, is strange. So I put it on a stuffed animal pic.twitter.com/0ppUu1dzb8

— Adriana (@adriana_r) January 4, 2018

The narrow width is even more awkward on my frame when compared with the oversized and boxy sleeves. On my 5’2″ frame, they seem more like 3/4 length. And they’re so wide that I feel swamped. I think it’s just the style because so many robes these days are “kimono” size. The type of robes you see from other retailers look similar. Yet my older robe has sleeves that are shorter (around elbow length) and slightly more fitted, which makes me feel more comfortable. Lovehoney’s lace robe looks to have more fitted sleeves.

This Lovehoney robe, however, makes me feel like a child playing dress up. Add to this that the short length is incredibly short (I’m not a tall woman, and this robe falls just under my butt, not reaching mid-thigh like on the model), and it’s perplexing. Other reviewers thought it was too long, so it might be falling shorter on me due to my butt and breasts.

Overall, the Lovehoney satin robe just seems to be a bit awkwardly cut. It feels like a graduation down, not a sexy part of lingerie. No part of it is really flattering or makes me feel comfortable. I cannot imagine myself really wearing it — unless I wanted to keep it open over another piece of lingerie.

And while I don’t want to keep making comparisons to another robe, a classy touch would be to have pockets. This robe does not. This isn’t going to be a deal-breaker for many people, I imagine.

With that said, this will probably be up someone’s alley. It seems well-enough made, and the price makes it worth considering (and right now you can get a free clitoral vibrator with your purchase!).  I would probably read more reviews than just this one, however.

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