Since I’m trying–and succeeding?–at blogging more actively, I’m also trying to develop and strengthen connections in my network, especially when social media has become such a shit show. My efforts include submitting to Elust (when I remember ).

Elust is the only place where the smartest and hottest sex bloggers are featured under one roof every month. Whether you’re looking for sex journalism, erotic writing, relationship advice, or kinky discussions, it’ll be at Elust.

So far, I think I’ve only submitted reviews, and I’ll continue to do that as I catch up on past reviews and, hopefully, find a routine for posting regularly. However, you know I’ve got my fair share of opinions and articles, which I hope to (remember to) submit!

Aside from growing my readership, Elust is a great place to see what others are writing and find your next follow, so please do these folks a favor and give them a click and read!

Thoughts & Advice on Sex & Relationships

Pleasure Me Now, Virtual Vibrations: Bringing LDR Bliss With Blowjob Machines

Tantric Sexual Healing, Awakening Intimacy: A Tantric Journey to Sacred Sensuality

Erotic Fiction

Fern River Cub, Luc listens in

Lexi Rose, The Message: A Short Erotic Story – Part 1

Modesty Ablaze, “A Naughty Surprise” Part 4 of my Hotwife Diaries Audio Reading

Product Reviews

Sydney Screams, The Bivius Alien Dildo by Uberrime

Morgan Destera, TOY TEST – Funzze Black Fantasy Dildo

Liz X, Kiiroo Pearl 3 Vibrator Review: Remote Play & Video Sync Make It Unstoppable

Sex Toy DB, The Top 5 Squirting Dildos in 2024 to Simulate Ejaculation

Of Sex and Love, Heidi

Erotic Non Fiction

Awakening Your Inner Essence, A Tantric Perspective on Reclaiming Our Inner Worth

Kristina J, Humiliation To Liberation: A Dance Of Desire – 10 Years Of Submission

barefoot sub, Dancing In The Dark

Femina Viva, Managing the “feels” when visiting a companion

Sex Work

Carman Fox, Master Escort Communication

Thornhill Digital, The Future of Labour Rights Within Online Sex Work

Elizabeth, Torture Goddess

Sex Worker Search, Sex Worker Blogs via RSS Feed

Oz Bigdownunder, Oz in Dubai. Australian Halal Sausage is Back on the Menu

Books and Movies

The History of BDSM, The People’s Porn: A History of Handmade Pornography in America, by Lisa Z. Sigel

Writing about writing

Ramone Quides, When One Door Closes, Meditation Begins

The post Welcome to Elust 179 appeared first on of Sex and Love.

Now, I’m not naive enough to think that the sex toy industry is working with averages, at least not in the same way. People aren’t measuring the distance between the clitoris and vaginal opening or the length of the perineum. Few researchers have considered the importance of sex, let alone the majority of sex toy companies, many of which want to make a buck and don’t care if their toys are harmful or not.  Many sex toys, especially insertables, are probably based more on the average penis with some larger and smaller models offered on either end.

Why does this matter? As consumers, we’re forced to choose from items that are not necessarily designed for us and our very real bodies. Instead, we must adapt to toys. It’s lead to discomfort, buyer’s remorse, and frustration, often rooted in the idea that something is wrong if we can’t make a sex toy work for ourselves.

But I’m here to tell you that it’s not you; it’s them.

So many sex toys are poorly designed. Even those that are well-designed cannot possibly fit every body or preference. When it comes to sex toys, there is no one size fits all.

This is why I am hesitant to tell people to buy the most expensive toy out there when a cheaper one will do or when they’re not even sure if they like that type of stimulation at all. I certainly don’t want to lead people astray just because I like something. And having been the person who disliked toys (-cough-Pure Wand-cough-) that everyone else praised. I’ve also been on the other side of that; few people seemed to like Lelo’s Ora, but I did.

I keep this in mind as a blogger and reviewer, and I hope my readers keep it in mind, too. I don’t want them to end up with an expensive paperweight, a butterfly vibrator that isn’t as hands-free as the manufacturer claims, or cuffs that are too small to use as intended. Don’t get me started on vibrators. One person’s “strong” is another’s “annoyingly buzzy.”

Some toys more than others are especially difficult to recommend. Any sort of dual stimulator comes to mind; although, rabbit vibrators are among the worst culprits because they’re designed to stimulate two body parts at once. Although I’ve tried many rabbit vibrators and liked some of them, others haven’t been so lucky. When the toy is inserted, the external portion falls too short or shoots far past their clitoris. A shaft too straight, and the whole experience can be awkward.

Fortunately, we’ve seen improvements. Although I didn’t love it, the Womanizer X Lovehoney InsideOut has a nicely curved shaft that is flexible, allowing the external portion to easily make contact with the clitoris. The Crescendo, for all its faults, tried to adapt to individual bodies. Yet, it was another “Pass” from me. It goes to show that bodies are so unique that even adjustable toys can miss the mark.

Sex toys aren’t the only thing that needs to be adaptable. Sex education and advice must similarly recognize how different bodies are. That’s why the best advice is for a person to explore–their body, desires, and needs. While I can tell people what toys make me squirt or how I have clitoral orgasms, I cannot promise that the same will work for them.

Yet, the Internet is full of these types of guides that focus almost exclusively on technique without recognizing anatomy or even personal preference. The more we focus on a certain technique or spot as the key to unlocking orgasms or a better sex life, the more we overlook that’s it’s the journey, the exploration, that makes sex better, not the destination.

We need to look beyond “X marks the G-spot” and give people a foundation for a satisfying sex life, no matter what that looks like them. That way, if they try something new such as a technique or a specific sex toy, they recognize that not everything works for everyone and will be able to take it in stride and continue exploring what does work for them.

The post For A Satisfying Sex Life, Don’t Ignore What Makes You Unique appeared first on of Sex and Love.