Earlier, my good friend asked me what five things I require of someone to be in a relationship with them. You know, those five traits. I think I’ve really lowered my standards lately but not in a bad way. I’m being more fair and open minded. I don’t even think all five of these are necessary, but they’re all good. For example, physical attraction and sexual compatibility go a long way to overlooking personality flaws because, as I’ve discussed, I’m sort of a shallow.
Here’s my list:
- Has a sense of humor
- Allows me to express feelings
- Sexual compatibility
- Makes me feel a priority
- Sexual compatibility
The running joke with another friend lately has been how I need someone who I can “tell my feelers to and fuck hard.” Ultimately, that’s about all I need, but I’m not going to be able to have satisfying sex with someone if I’m not attracted to that person. Emotional security won’t happen if I can’t express my feelings — and not just those about the relationship — to my partner.
After always feeling like I wasn’t part of my ex-husband’s life, I really need someone who makes me feel like a priority, both in his interactions with me and those with others that might concern me. Someone who can make me feel like the only person in the world, then, is definitely on the right track.
And there might be someone in my life who meets these criteria in a way that feels good enough for me. We shall see what happens.