The Death of EdenFantasys

June 5th, 2013



If you’ve been around the Internet the last couple days, then you’ve probably come across this audio video, featuring the voice of Fred, the owner of EdenFantasys, and some staff members as he fires them all in bulk – and all without really saying so. In the event that the video gets deleted, Epiphora has a transcript up on her site. Multiple sources have verified the validity of the video; although Fred continues to deny that it’s real (also in E’s blog).

In fact, that post only outlines years of member abuses, shady behavior and a whole slew of things that have made people walk away from the company and community with a sour taste in their mouth. Not one, not two, but multiple of my friends have been banned from EdenFantasys over the years, and most of the time there was no legitimate reason other than “makes the site look bad.” In fact, review policy was changed a while back to state that we could only write positive reviews, more or less, to keep things looking all sunshine and kittens.

And, so the gist of the audio is that things had been going downhill for some time, but the company wasn’t even able to break even last month. So… Fred had to fire everyone via audio chat in a completely roundabout way. While he made it obvious that he had known what was coming, some people were completely blindsided, and he didn’t even take the time to fire some people. He simply changed email passwords to some people, essentially ending their jobs in the shittiest way possible. But, hey, it’s not the first time.

Things have been going downhill for some time according to Fred in that recording. In fact, Fred would have you still believe that everything is just hunky dory, and the only staff member who’s still around is spewing those lies to the community. But it’s more obvious than ever that things are bad. Stock has been dwindling for months. Good luck trying to find anything to spend those gift cards on because vendors don’t want to deal with the company. They’re calling the shots, but Fred’s minions would have you believe that inventory is shrinking to get rid of redundant products. As the truth comes out, it seems like this never was the case.

I’m eventually getting to my point, which is something along the lines of “I can’t believe he treated employees like this and is lying point blank to the community” and “I totally saw this coming.” By now, you’ve probably heard complaints from several people about various aspects of EF dealings, including unfair bannings, blocking off-site links, sending out used toys and employee abuse. So, I’m not entirely surprised that things have gone down in flames, but I don’t think anyone could have seen this coming the way that it did. Even staff members were left out in the cold, and now that we have proof that Fred is blatantly lying, it only brings into question everything he has ever said and, by association, anything the staff members have ever said because we don’t know how much involvement he had in it.

[edited to add]

I would count several people who have worked for the company among my friends, and I don’t mean to implicate them as dishonest, but I don’t know that what Fred told them was in truth.


Fortunately, I have no personal loss, but many people do, and many people are still drinking the god-damned Kool-Aid for some unknown reason. I’m being realistic. I cashed out my points and bought one of the few freakin’ things that still left in stock because I don’t even know if the website will be around tomorrow. Some people are in a so-called panic mode, and they’re not wrong to be.

Even before this, my role really dropped. I was unhappy with the company after they fucked with my friends and I became far less active. However, I still signed in and accepted reviews for one simple reason: I was gaming the system. It went something like this.

  1. I’d write reviews and participate on site for points
  2. I’d turn those into gift cards and buy other stuff
  3. I’d get points for those purchases (the system no longer allows this)
  4. I’d use my affiliate code to earn actual money

No, I didn’t feel bad about this. I always felt that the company had it coming from an ethical standpoint and their system continued to let me do it for years. You see, I agreed with all my friends who had left but I kept my mouth shut long enough to make this work for me because who doesn’t want some extra cash or free sex toys?

I think, perhaps, that the methodology to spend money to make money is one that Fred does not understand. Throughout those years, I became increasingly frustrated by this community movement. Sure, some awesome people joined even after the people I have grown used to left, but the blogger outreach and points programs led to a lot of shitty reviews and spam that made the site that much less useful. If you weren’t all overly supportive for the company or even for a freakin’ toy, you weren’t community-minded. Somewhere down the line, EF really became about quantity over quality, as if having people posting and talking about you was enough to drown out the negative and the cold, hard truth. Sadly, for a while, it was.

This should be a lesson to everyone. Treat your community, customers and employees like shit? It won’t work. Spread yourself too thin? And you’ll soon tear. Respond negatively to criticism or suggestions and the people who have a different vantage point will stop talking to you and start speaking up against you. Make enemies in the blogosphere, and people will tell others about what a little shit you’ve been.

Shortly before the announcement that all the staff had been fired, I received a PM as one a group of valuable members, asking me to stick around through some upcoming changes, I had no idea they’d be so extreme and, honestly, how can Fred expect the company to rebound in any way? As it stands, there’s nothing to stick around for. The community, the store are all in dire straights. The staff is gone. EdenFantasys is as good as dead, and if you think otherwise, you probably deserve to go down with the ship.



May 1st, 2013

May is masturbation month. I’ve normally given it an amused nod in the past, but I think I’m going to try to keep up by masturbating every day until my birthday. Wish me luck!


Fun Factory Through the Years

April 21st, 2013

If you were to ask me my favorite sex toy brand, the answer would undoubtedly be Fun Factory. I don’t have to think about it, and this has been true for literally years. My history with Fun Factory has always been a positive one. One of my very first toys — the Laya Spot — is a Fun Factory vibe. In fact, I still regularly use it, and after four years, mine finally died. I bought another one right away as you’d have guessed.

While the company has used the same basic buttons throughout the entirety of its lifetime,  Fun Factory has made some changes over time. The addition of the boost button, for example, is one of those. One of the first toys I noticed it on was the Boss, while Fun Factory still uses it on the Yooo. To be honest, the latter is strong enough that I don’t even use the boost button, but it’s a nice option.

Fun Factory was also one of the first companies to create fully waterproof, rechargeable vibrators. The Sinnflut line, which is sadly discontinued, was strong and ergonomic well before its time. The charging cradle was almost perfect, but mine suffered a sad accident. If it hadn’t, I can almost guarantee that I’d still use is frequently. The current lineup of Fun Factory vibrators uses the company’s magnetic chargers. The G4 line, which includes an upgraded Tiger/Twist and the Calla, is both sleek and powerful.

This is one of the few companies that makes toys that I can enjoy either internally or externally.  I also got my hands on the original Delight, a G-spot and clitoral vibrator, and while I lost the charger, I opted for the new design. I quickly fell in love with it or its dual sensations. The Curve is another fantastic dildo for G-spot stimulation, and I can’t deny that the Stronic Eins is a brand-new sensation that I quite like.

To top it all off, Fun Factory has almost exclusively used high-quality silicone for its toys, which come in bright colors and fun shapes. I certainly can’t wait to see what’s next.


State of the Porn Address

April 11th, 2013

A while back I came across this study of porn. I bookmarked it, and it slipped my mind until now. Jon Millward took a look at thousands of porn stars to determine things like typical bust size, name and race. The result was “Deep Inside – A Study of 10,000 Porn Stars and Their Careers.”

The six-month-long project resulted in a pretty interesting PDF and some awesome infographic. The full infographic would take so long to load that I cannot possibly consider posting it here on Of Sex and Love, but Millward did take time to create a smaller infographic about the race results of his research. Surprise! Most porn stars are white. Very few are Asian or the infamous “other.”



TeeThere were plenty of surprises, though. While you and I might think of the typical porn actress as a busty blonde, she’s actually a B-cup brunette whose name is probably Nikki. In fact, blondes represent about one third of the total porn star population, which seems a little like a stretch if you only exposure to adult entertainment is Hef and his crew. Nevertheless, many of those blondes are what we’d call “bottled.” In a recent post, I did talk about how Playmates are becoming both thinner and bustier. Millward’s research into porn stars indicates that the same thing is true here, and he even created a funny little graph that mimics the shapes of boobs and butts to prove his point.

Apparently, I was born just an hour too far to the north to make it big as a midwest porn actress. I’m probably cool with that.

The survey goes on to discuss the type of activities that most porn stars do. Facial and anal are almost a given, even if the same isn’t true in private bedrooms. Interracial scenes, which I feel shouldn’t even be labeled or novelized as such, are also done by 52% of women. I suspect the other 48% are missing out. Only a third of women swallow and half of them are able to squirt — but I wonder if it’ real?!

If you keep reading the infographic, you’ll see information about the most popular roles women play in porn:

  1. Teen
  2. MILF
  3. Wife
  4. Cheerleader
  5. Nurse
  6. Daughter

Can we say “Yawn” to most of those?

Jon Millward attempts to squash the commonly-accepted myth that most female performers only do a single video, too. It’s true that somewhere between 10% and 30% of women  quit the biz after making a single film, but there’s obviously some who have stuck it out to stick in time and time again. Still, the average career is becoming much shorter. In the 2000s, men spend just four years making porn.

Nina Hartley, who does sex education now, has almost 1,000 films under her belt with about 200 different partners. Hartley’s male counterpart has a list over over 1,100 partners, though. This illustrates the chasm between the sexes, which I can’t help but wonder about. Is it because women are and can be choosier? Is it sexism in the industry?

Men have sex with an average of 45 women per year on film while women have 8 partners annually. The majority of the most “prolific” entertainers are men, and while they might have many more partners, Millward discusses how it’s more difficult for a man to break onto the scene. I find this true in an anecdotal sense. I mean, I know the names are far more female performers. I’m aware of many males, but I generally don’t give a fuck about them — pardon the pun.

There’s more insights and visuals over on Millward’s blog, and I’m sure he’d love some comments on Twitter. I just found this too interesting to pass up talking about, even if I have little to add myself.

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Swearing Off Sex Toys

April 1st, 2013

Because I’ll save so much money and room and have so much more time for things like video games. What do you think, good idea?


I don’t understand

March 18th, 2013

How someone can “really like” me. How we can spend an amazing night together. How we can text constantly for months, and then how he can suddenly decide that potential drama is enough to walk away. I don’t get how he can change his mind so suddenly, as if we shared nothing at all. And I will never feel anything other than confusion about how he can so permanently remove himself from my life as if we hadn’t been friends for years.

I don’t get the typical male response, the fear of commitment that makes them decide they’re not good enough for you, that they know what’s best. And I don’t understand why he is trying to push me away at all when everything he wants is literally within reach. When the best thing he’s ever had is right there waiting for him. How does he not see that this is the stupidest mistake he’s ever made?

I don’t know why I’m so caught up on him or why him doing this makes me want him even more. I don’t know when I fell this hard, and I certainly didn’t see it coming.

I don’t know this. I don’t understand anything. Nothing makes sense, and it all hurts so very much.


Erotic Holidays: The Venus Garden [Guest Post]

March 15th, 2013

If you’re planning a weekend away filled with romance and roses, it doesn’t get better than Sweden’s Venus Garden. Tucked away in the middle of the Sydskånska plains, this erotic destination is the ideal place for love to bloom. Pack up your bags for a weekend of bliss and find out for yourself what all the fuss is about.

The Venus Garden is situated well away from the hubbub of city life and offers rest and relaxation in the natural farmland surrounds. Named as the “pleasure kingdom”, you won’t be disappointed when you arrive to a courtyard filled with beautiful roses of every shape, size and colour. This is no ordinary farm or garden either: fields of beautiful flowers flank the pleasure kingdom, and the inside of the accommodation is as beautiful as the outside thanks to the exquisite taste and careful planning of husband and wife team Swedish orgasm coach Ylva Franzén and Åke Fridell.
venus garden

When you visit the Venus Garden you get to take advantage of the proprietor’s extensive knowledge with complimentary coaching and a selection of indulgent sex toys. Then, it’s off to one of three rooms for a holiday that indulges all the senses and promises sexual satisfaction.

The Kama Sutra room is warm and energising with a vibrant display of oranges, pinks and reds and textures aplenty including silk and satin. Enjoy the bold strength of the four poster bed, and be sure to sample the famous love swing.

The Toa room is awash with watercolour blues and pinks and offers visitors an enormous round bed and a strapped love swing for the more adventurous. The smells and textures perfectly compliment the amazing view of the plains just outside the attic room.

The Venus room is a triumph of red opulence with beaded curtains, silk drapes and an olfactory mix of essential oils and incense. A double bed provides space aplenty, and a love swing tempts even the most cautious of couples with a new sense of sexuality.

Your erotic holiday isn’t limited to your bed: there are plenty of spaces inside and out that offer the perfect setting for an erotic encounter. Head out to the plains, enjoy a frolic outside in the open air, or enjoy your own private love swing in your room.

The Venus Garden is open all year round, but the spring and summer months book out well in advance. Why not spoil someone special for Valentine’s Day and give them a holiday break they’ll always remember? Bookings start at €86.00 for bed and breakfast only.

Authors By-line
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This Just In: Playmates Are Busty and Thin

February 20th, 2013

I wish this site were an infographic because it has some interesting information.  In a recent issue of Wired, the researchers took a look at the BMI, cup sizes and other attributes of Playboy playmates and compared them to real women. Not surprisingly, the models have become thinner without losing breast size, while average women have become a little curvier.  The full graph is available as a PDF, which is better than the article itself.

playmate study

I want to simply nod and agree, but the thoughtful person inside me thinks this is problematic when women (and men!) make comparisons to ideals that are becoming further from average. It’s a bit like the economic divide shifting. And while maybe you and I might not be that naive, plenty of people are. Men and women, especially young and impressionable minds, look at the media and don’t realize how different it can be from every day.

I mean, how often do I really look at TV stars and think “they’ve had surgery and someone hand picks their clothes and they’re wearing professional makeup?” Not often enough to stop comparing myself, that’s for damned sure. And when it comes to sexualized images, I think the result can be even worse for one’s self esteem. It’s not just how appearance that people compare. It’s behavior and interests and skills, so while this little study has a very limited focus, I think it’s good that people are finally thinking about these things.

However, the lack of depth with which it was presented does leave a little to be desired.


The 5 Things

February 14th, 2013

Earlier, my good friend asked me what five things I require of someone to be in a relationship with them. You know, those five traits. I think I’ve really lowered my standards lately but not in a bad way. I’m being more fair and open minded. I don’t even think all five of these are necessary, but they’re all good. For example, physical attraction and sexual compatibility go a long way to overlooking personality flaws because, as I’ve discussed, I’m sort of a shallow.

Here’s my list:

  1. Has a sense of humor
  2. Allows me to express feelings
  3. Sexual compatibility
  4. Makes me feel a priority
  5. Sexual compatibility

The running  joke with another friend lately has been how I need someone who I can “tell my feelers to and fuck hard.” Ultimately, that’s about all I need, but I’m not going to be able to have satisfying sex with someone if I’m not attracted to that person. Emotional security won’t happen if I can’t express my feelings — and not just those about the relationship — to my partner.

After always feeling like I wasn’t part of my ex-husband’s life, I really need someone who makes me feel like a priority, both in his interactions with me and those with others that might concern me. Someone who can make me feel like the only person in the world, then, is definitely on the right track.

And there might be someone in my life who meets these criteria in a way that feels good enough for me. We shall see what happens.



Fishnets Are the New Black [Saw This on Tumblr]

February 13th, 2013


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