…aka the post in which I use a lot of italics.
It’s not that I am ungrateful. It’s just that it’s taken me almost two months to see the 2013 top sex bloggers list. I didn’t expect to make it on this year and, to be honest, I’ve dropped quite a bit from my top place (18 last year, maybe?) but I’m glad any of you nominated me at all.
2013 has been such a very strange year for me. I have definitely posted less frequently. I spend more time on Tumblr, browsing for stuff related to sex that isn’t porn (this is not an easy task). I tried to highlight the stuff I was finding on Tumblr, but fell out of interest. Now, you’ll find my Tumblr contains a lot of stuff about current sex toy sales and lots of reblogs of feminist posts and sex toy collection photos.
While reviews and advice have become less frequent, I’ve added more personal posts. I am hesitant to do this because it just feels like everyone else is as a different point in there life. Somewhere in the back of my mind, I feel like someone who’s had a sex blog for 5 years shouldn’t be casually dating people and having sex only once every few months.
In reality, 2013 has been a huge year for me personally. I had sex since the first time since my divorce, and I realized that I could be one of those casual sex havin’ folks. However, I didn’t want to continue that relationship in any way, so I ended it and we no longer speak. But I was struck with just how easy it was to fuck someone else. Man, that shit seems terrifying in my head. Who knew?
In the attempt to have more sex, I got back into contact with a friend with whom I hadn’t been speaking because I figured, more or less, that he’d be an easy lay. We wound up having really good sex and developing feelings. If I’m being honest, I fell in love with him. I am in love with him. But he hasn’t commitment issues and we had bad timing or something, and now we casually have sex sometimes while I try not to hope that it could be something. The sex is still amazing.
And it’s led me to think that I could be quite more submissive than I thought I was. It’s also led me to realize that I maybe want sex more than I want a relationship, and I could be okay with this arrangement for a while. Because fucking him makes me feel more like me than I have in quite some time.
Despite this, I still don’t really have a category for personal stuff. I should really make one. I’ve struggled with the identity of this blog, and I haven’t received nearly as much feedback as I’d like for this to be as satisfying as it once was. However, that could be the state of the Internet and the fact that I’m not marketing myself as a 2-bit educator or a snarky bitch. I’m just me.
But I did receive some feedback from someone that I really appreciate. She liked reading the personal posts that have become more common. She thought that was where my strength lies. So while I am going to continue write reviews, I want to expand personal posts without thinking about what it means to you. Because if it means something to me, the readers will see.
And I want to simply focus on connecting more with you guys. That’s something I talked about in my anniversary post. I just finished a round of blog commenting today. So, hello!, if that’s how you got here. I’ve tried to sign on Twitter more, to reply to emails, to be friendlier, to comment and to discover new blogs. I don’t know if it’s working or even if I know how to tell, but I feel better.
I also had my first bacterial infection, I tried my first stone dildo. I’ve had a few toys that I absolutely love. A lot were forgettable. I went to my last sex toy party. Ever.
So back to blogging. I made this list:
And it’s been interesting to see the list evolve over the years. There are few sex toy reviewers on it. Perhaps that’s because our numbers dwindle every year, or maybe it’s because people are sick of reviews. The first sex toy reviewer, The Sin Doll, is in the 30s. Interesting.
There’s a lot more sex educators on the list. The same goes for things like comics and erotica writers. It’s all very interesting. I love to see how legitimate sex education and work has become, and I think this list is evidence of that.
I’m glad to be on it no matter how I may contribute.
Thank you for nominating me. Thanks to Rori for including me.
Here’s to another year!