Five Tips To Make Your Intimate Life More Enjoyable

May 18th, 2017

Some people appear to be lucky in all things relating to intimacy and love. If your intimate life isn’t as exciting, enjoyable or uplifting as it could be, however, this doesn’t mean that you’re simply destined to miss out on the zest and spontaneity that you crave. There are five, easy things that every woman can do to make her intimate life more enjoyable.

1. Pamper Yourself To Build Your Confidence

Confidence is everything in the bedroom. If you feel good about yourself and about your body, you’re far more likely to take a proactive approach to both giving and receiving pleasure. The good news is that boosting your confidence can be as easy as indulging in a day of head-to-toe pampering. Schedule a salon visit to get a facial, a body scrub, waxing services, and more. You can even treat yourself to a new haircut, color and style. Revamping your appearance and investing in sultry, eye-catching clothing that highlights the best aspects of your physique is virtually guaranteed to add some passion to your love life.

2. Don’t Forget The Romance

A lot of women are surprised to discover that guys like romance too. Women have long been conditioned to think that men only tolerate foreplay. Things like ambiance, environment and pillow talk could be just as important to your mate as they are to you. As such, if rough play and dirty talk haven’t been producing optimal results, consider bringing a softer touch to the bedroom. Telling your guy how much you love and appreciate him could be as much of a turn-on as a wild striptease, if not more so.

3. Love Your Body Just the Way It Is

A lot of articles will tell you that you need to improve your fitness and your health to have a better sex life, but these all feed into a beauty and fitness industry that profit by convincing us that we’re not good enough as it. Sure, you can work out if it makes you feel good, but if you can’t or you simply want to love yourself along the way, that’s important, too. Imperative, really. So thank your body for serving you well right now despite all its imperfections, and don’t forget to celebrate its uniqueness. After all, you’ve only got one.

4. Go Shopping For Accessories And Toys

If you and your partner have been together for some time, sex can begin to feel a bit routine and mundane. If this sounds familiar, consider shopping for a few exciting accessories and toys at a reputable adult shop. These products are guaranteed to liven things up a bit. More importantly, there are a number of lubricants, gadgets, and garments that are designed specifically for enhancing physical pleasure. Bringing new toys to the party will additionally show your partner just how flexible and willing to please you truly are.

5. Treat Your Guy To A Night With The Lights On

The importance of confidence in the bedroom cannot be overstated. When you feel like you’re on top of the world, open up and treat your guy to a night with the lights on. This is a totally different experience from exploring one another in complete darkness. It adds an erotic edge to intimacy and it will show your mate that you’re not afraid to be totally open about who you are and how you look. Best of all, many men love being intimate with the lights on. Thus, not only will this be an exciting and new experience for you, but it’s also certain to drive your man wild.

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#NSFW Creative Cursing Coloring Book [Review + Giveaway]

May 17th, 2017

Do you guys remember last year when adult coloring books became *the* thing? Suddenly, everyone was selling them or using them, and a new market blossomed. One of the cool things about *adult* coloring books when compared to those of my childhood was that they could be full of adult themes: sophisticated designs, sex toys, skulls, and curse words — like the #NSFW Creative Cursing Coloring Book that SheVibe sells.

I really enjoy the coloring bandwagon. I saw the appeal. It’s relaxing and fun. It’s a little artistic. Adult coloring books combine childlike delight with a devious streak. Win-win, right?

Now, you might wonder whether SheVibe is the right company to make an adult coloring book, but I’d like to remind you that the website is decorated with gorgeous comic-style covers every month, and many customers receive boxes full of similar art (not me.. yet). It’s a match made in Heaven.

I opted for the Creative Cursing Coloring Book because I’ve got a foul mouth, but if you want to color scenes, SheVibe has you covered, too.

You can actually buy those 4 coloring books as a bundle to save money.

The Creative Cursing Coloring Book is full of everyone’s favorite curse words as well as some newly-creative words. Some definitely seem inspired by the Brits (Fucking Wanker, anyone?), who we all know cuss quite colorfully.

Each word is detailed, typically with a floral (paisley) design.  By my count, there are 37 pictures to color including a copy of the cover, which is the last page. The pictures are printed front-and-back on the pages, but they’re fairly thick stock so you could probably use pens or markers without too much bleed through.

Thus far, I’ve used coloring pencils and have discovered that I am not great at choosing palettes. Woops.

This brings me to another issue, which is not at all the fault of SheVibe or the Creative Cursing Coloring Book. I have weak joints, and pain likes to flare up when I’m writing or drawing (painting my nails can be a bitch sometimes). So I’ve not spent too much time with the #NSFW Creative Cursing Coloring Book. I wish I could.

It would be nice if the pages were perforated if you wanted to tear them out to color (or have your friends join you) or simply to show off when you’re done. But I assume this would bring up the price quite a bit.

There are similar products that are readily available, and some may be cheaper than this coloring book from SheVibe, but you might opt for this if you want to support the company and show appreciate for Alex Kotkin, who is the artit behind the coloring books and comic covers on the site.

I can tell you that everyone who’s seen the Creative Cursing Coloring book has been super excited over it and was interested in finding their own. I think this would make a great gift.

I’d like to thank SheVibe for providing not just this coloring book for me to review but for supplying one for a giveaway for one of my lucky readers! I know this contest will be popular, but please take time to read the rules before entering.

It has been some time since I hosted a giveaway, so let me refesh your memory. Log in via the Gleam form. All the actions will be automated below. The first entry is free, and nnone of the others are required, but they all help increase your chances of winning.

Come back to perform daily actions such as tweeting to boost your chances of winning even more.

You can also invite others entrants for more entry points.

Good luck!

#NSFW Creative Cursing Coloring Book

Giveaway ends June 16.

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Sex Yourself

May 8th, 2017

Sex Yourself
$11.99 (Kindle) from Amazon

If I was going to pick a book that was friendly and welcoming to readers, especially those who are looking to expand or start their sex lives, Sex Yourself would be pretty far up there.

Sex Yourself, subtitle ” The Woman’s Guide to Mastering Masturbation and Achieving Powerful Orgasms,” is the product of author Carlyle Jansen. Jansen is actually the founder of Toronto sex toy store Good For Her. I feel like Jansen is a capable vessel to disseminate this information, and Sex Yourself lends credibility by not avoiding actual names for our anatomy or trying to cute things up. I appreciate this. The book does a good job at talking to the inexperienced reader without being overwhelming them while avoiding those all-too-common mistakes of treating sex as something to hem and or — or hehe — about.

The book does a good job at talking to the inexperienced reader without being overwhelming them while avoiding those all-too-common mistakes of treating sex as something to hem and or — or hehe — about. Jansen proves you can be gentle without being infantilizing or condescending (although, she does swap “masturbation” with “self-pleasure” and “solo sex”). Why don’t more people do this?

Right from the start, Sex Yourself aims to encourage masturbation and to mitigate feelings of guilt about masturbation. Jansen reassures the reader with stats about women and masturbation. She also touches on how solo sex is still sex, even if it’s with yourself, but it’s not cheating. The first chapter wraps up with benefits of masturbation, both for yourself and your partnered sex.

A bit of the formatting is lost in the digital edition

From here, Jansen teaches the reader about erogenous zones such as the clitoris. She also specifies between the vulva and vagina. Yasss! The second chapter is the comprehensive anatomy lesson that most of us never got with addition info on discharge, pregnancy, and menopause.

I don’t want to go through every chapter in detail, but  Sex Yourself is worth reading for many people, even if I found most of the information a little basic. It’s the type of book that a parent might give to their daughter or that a young woman might seek out to get in touch with her sexual side.

This book is body positive, and the encouragement for self-love extends beyond masturbation. Jansen’s words somehow make it a little more easy to be in a woman with so many expectations put upon us before providing actionable techniques for masturbation. Every topic that Jansen tackles to techniques to toys to masturbating in front of your partner is in-depth and accessible while encouraging natural sexual exploration.

I was consistently impressed with Jansen’s advice, the type that I and my fellow sex bloggers have been providing for years. Sex Yourself suggests lube time and again (yay) while providing all the information you need to choose a one (you can learn a bit more about the science of lube in this post). Issues such as ass-to-vag toy usage and anal toy safety aren’t glossed over. I love this.

Sex Yourself also dispels some myths such as one type of orgasm being superior to the other or that there’s a difference between G-spot and clitoral orgasms, to begin with. The book also doesn’t spread falsehoods like squirting is just pee, either.

Perhaps it’s because Jansen wrote Sex Yourself like so many of my peers have been writing posts (you’ll find recommendations for some of our favorite toys!) and books that it struck gold. It’s real, it’s useful, and it was sorely lacking.

It’s also a quick read, and you can page through to the content you need without reading it all. In fact, I would recommend a physical copy because it looks like the formatting works just a bit better/is more polished than the digital version.

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Luxe Touch-Sensitive Vibrating Dildo

May 3rd, 2017

From the pictures, Cal Exotic’s new Luxe vibrating “dildo” looks like many of the silicone dildos on the market. It has a suction cup base and a slightly contoured head. You can choose from bright pink or purple or two more fleshlike colors.

Of course, it’s not a dildo because it’s actually a vibrator. I guess the suction cups, which works but I will never use, counts this thing as a dildo in someone’s book. It would be harness-compatible, but I’m still not feeling the nomenclature. It’s not a dildo, okay? Luxe is also not as sleek in person as it seems — so much for being luxe — and that’s where I need to focus the beginning of this review.

In person, you can clearly see a white, cylindrical casing beneath the thin layer of silicone that covers it. The silicone is so sheer that it harkens back to a time of PVC jelly vibrators and rabbits with their innards revealed for the world to see. Now, I suspect that the function of this vibrator requires a different interior than others, and I’ll get to that later.

But this whole thing seems like such a weird design flaw that you could see through it. And what I can see? Isn’t the best. During the initial washing, I saw what appears to be a crack in that inner piece of plastic, which was easy to spot through the silicone. I hadn’t even had a chance to use the Luxe, yet. So it’s not looking good for this one.

Crack in the toy

Usually I break the toys myself, but this one came pre-broken??

The more I looked, the more cracks I saw. I.. what?

Cracks in the inner mechanism

I can’t even think of a joke to crack about this. Oh, wait, there it is!

Well, what about its touch-sensitive capabilities? I’ve got slightly better news for you.

This function works not by squeezing the vibrator harder like the Limon or Ola, which is what I initially assumed, but by responding to the area of the shaft that’s squeezed. To illustrate, if you wrap one hand around the shaft, it doesn’t seem to increase vibrations. But adding your second hand beneath it increases the intensity. You can assume that thrusting the toy internally would achieve the same effect. Whether it’s noticeable internally is up for debate, however.

And, to be honest, I’m not a huge fan of the shape or size of this toy, and I think it’s part of that inner mechanism, which feels pretty rigid under the thin silicone coating. Although I don’t need a curved toy for G-spot stimulation, the absolute straightness of the Luxe isn’t comfortable. In fact, it’s almost painful despite only having a 1.5-inch diameter, which is the same throught the entire shaft.

If the shaft tapered a bit more before the head (or overall), it’d be fine. But then the toy might not be sensitive to touches. Perhaps that mechanism should be located further toward the base, or the diameter slightly smaller overall. As it is, Luxe just feels invasive, and I can’t enjoy the touch sensitive function.

It’s a shame because I would like to. The rounded head works well enough for G-spot stimulation, the vibrations are more rumbly than buzzy, and the strength is decent. It’s not like a Hitachi, but it’s definitely good enough. I even liked some of the modes, which never happens.

I think there’s promise if they can offer the same function in a variety of sizes. I am assuming that it’s a size constraint due to what I can see through the silicone, but what the hell do I know, right? If ever there were a toy that I wanted to rip apart, it’s the Luxe. And perhaps I will. After all, it’s already on its way to breaking.

One last gripe: I kind of hate when toys have a single button and require you to hold it to turn it off. I would rather have to hit a down button 8 million times or have a separate master power button. I want an auto off and find myself ridiculously annoyed when this isn’t an option.

I might be alone in this. Luxe has a pretty high rating on GoodVibes, but none of those people left reviews, so take that with a grain of salt.

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Split Peaches Unicorn Horn Dildo (Pastel Pleasures – Medium)

March 31st, 2017

Have you ever used a toy that’s just too good? Yea. It’s a thing. I didn’t know either.

Sure, I’ve have toys that were very good. Some were, eh, good enough. Some were, wow, not good at all. This dildo might be the first that’s too good. It’s almost unbelievable like a unicorn, you might say.

So let’s talk about that first. This is a dildo like a unicorn horn. I got one swathed in pastels with silicone wrapping its way down the shaft. To be honest, it looks a bit more like ice cream than a unicorn horn, but you can also get it in pearlescent white, which might be more traditional for unicorns, along with a bold, rainbow-colored one. There’s even a gorgeous blue-purple one on the manufacturer’s site that SheVibe doesn’t carry (yet…?).

There’s a flat base that could be compatible with your harness if you want the power of the unicorn; though, I’ve only used this solo.

The dildo is surprisingly flexible. You can bend it backward to touch itself. The outer layer has a fair amount of give. It’s not squishy like VixSkin, more like a softer version of Tantus’ shiny silicone. The core is firm enough to remain upright. And it’s not so soft that you can’t control it from the base when it’s inserted. I really enjoy the formula of this silicone, and much silicone has fallen into the “meh” camp for me previously.

The one thing that’s not good about the silicone? It’s the lintiest lint-magnet ever. Like wash-it-and-wash-it-again. I’ve never had to spend so much time washing a toy as I have the unicorn dildo. And there is no way possible to photograph it without picking up more lint and hair. Sorry.

The end of the horn is rounded, so penetration feels easy with a little lube, even if it’s not particularly awesome lube, haha. And the particular increase in circumference is nearly perfect. I don’t need to be warmed up at all, and the narrower tip doesn’t bother my cervix. Again, near perfection.

But I think a custom size would be better up my all. The length — 10 inches — isn’t really necessarily, and I don’t feel especially full when the toy hits my cervix. If this were maybe 3″ shorter, I would absolutely adore it. It would still not be the toy for size queens, but I’d be able to appreciate the 2.75-inch circumference near the base in a way that I just can’t now.

Still, I can use the dildo, get it right where I want it (thanks to the flexibility), press it right against my G-spot (thanks to the firmness) and hold it in place until I squirt. It’s made me squirt nearly immediately. Like 10 seconds or less. It doesn’t take much to make me squirt, but this is still impressive. A second ejaculation following needing less than half that time.

But if it only takes fifteen seconds, what else do I do it with it, you know? Fortunately, I do find the unicorn dildo to be quite enjoyable while stroking. The twisted texture seems too subtle to notice, but I can feel the waves in a way that’s in no way objectionable. Split Peaches makes dildos with much more texture if that’s up your alley, however.

If there were any toy that was going to give me a vaginal orgasm, the unicorn dildo is probably it. We’re not there yet, but, hey, sometimes you’ve got to believe in magic, right?

SheVibe

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The Best and Worst Sex Toys of 2016

January 4th, 2017

As it turns out, it doesn’t take much to list your most-loved and most-hated sex toys in a year when you only review a handful. I hadn’t realized how many items I hadn’t reviewed until just now. To be fair, there are a few things in my queue that I could review, should have done so long ago, but most of these don’t inspire loving sonnets or wrathful rants.

And I wrote more erotica and personal blog posts than I have in some time. But reviews were few and far between.

So let’s talk about what I loved.

The Best Sex Toys and Books of 2016

BDSM: A Guide for Explorers of Extreme Eroticism
Ayzad’s BDSM: A Guide for Explorers of Extreme Eroticism is pretty much an encyclopedia BDSMica. Whether you want to complete your collection, find specific measurements for health and safety when you’re playing or are just curious, I recommend this book.

However, it’s a weighty tome that will take some commitment to finish in full. Fortunately, you don’t need to read the whole thing if you’re really only interested in, say, needles.

She’s on Top
This is one book that took me a while to page through, but once I did I was hooked. As the name suggests, this collected erotic works between the covers deal with female domination and male submission. If that sounds up your alley, add She’s on Top to your bookshelf.

The Worst Sex Toys of 2016

Layaspot, Desire clitoral vibe and Siri 2

Lovehoney’s Desire didn’t measure up to other clitoral vibes

Lovehoney Desire Clitoral Vibrator
The next item on this list is another clitoral vibrator that just didn’t do it for me. Although Lovehoney pulled out all the stops when it came to product and packaging design, the Desire clitoral vibrator still fell short.

And it’s almost entirely because of the lackluster vibrations. I wanted to love it, but lusting over a sex toy ultimately doesn’t lead to satisfaction. (The same is true for people, as I learned this year.)

Ooh by Je Joue Pebble Attachment
Okay, so I didn’t actually review this. And there’s a reason. After enjoying the What Happens in Vegas Kit, I shelled out my own money to by the clitoral attachment. I almost never do that.

So you can imagine my disappointment when it just didn’t work for me. My increasingly-arthritic fingers just couldn’t grasp the toy without discomfort in short time. Despite the enjoyable vibrations in the small motor, the attachment shape didn’t allow for the pressure that I usually enjoy.

Ah, well, lesson learned.

Minna kGoal
Let me sum up my experience in short. I guess do not have the typical anatomy of women, because inserting and removing of this kegel exerciser was fucking hell. Seriously.

Then, there were problems with Bluetooth and accounts. I was only ever able to use it successfully a few times, and I quickly became sick of having to wipe all that lube off my hands.

The folks at Minna were helpful, but it was simply too much trouble to try and try again. The feedback provided by kGoal is useful and the concept worthy, but this product was not ready for release.

Let’s hope Minna does better with their upcoming make kegel exerciser.

I know this post is a bit late, but I certainly hope you find it useful. Just going through my archives showed how few sex toy reviews I’d written in the past year, so I have already taken steps to rectify that by reaching out to companies who might be in need of reviews.

2017 will have more things to choose from and, hopefully, more sex toys that I actually like!

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Minna’s kGoal Kegel Exerciser and Its 4 Fatal Flaws

January 3rd, 2017

You’re not going to find many negative reviews of Minna’s kGoal, and I think that’s because it works for most people. But it didn’t work for me. Not technologically. Not shapewise. Not at all, and I think it’s important for people who have similar bodies and preferences as me to know what they’re getting into. Because what they want is a smart toy that helps them exercise their PC muscles, not an exercise in frustration.

By now, you all know that kGoals uses Bluetooth to connect to your device. It contains sensors that measure the strength, and the app (for Android and iOS) includes “games” to help you get your reps in without boring to death.

But there are a few problems with kGoals.

1. Bluetooth

Any wireless technology struggles with physical barriers. It’s why pretty much any remote-controlled vibrator is terrible, why WiFi signals decreases the further you are from the router and why cell reception is so difficult to find in rural areas.

Your body is a pretty big physical impediment to wrap directly around a Bluetooth-enabled device, and I quickly found this out with the kGoal. It works best when you connect before insertion, which makes sense. But sometimes even that wouldn’t work. And while some of my devices would connect, not all of them would.

Once it was connected — and I only had it connected successfully during insertion twice tops — the connection is prone to drop because of these same issues. Of course, you’ll need to drop your phone, remove the toy, clean lube from your fingers, reconnect the device, reinsert it and get back into position. It’s a fucking hassle.

2. Random Account Issues

I cannot explain how awesome Minna was at answering my questions. When I attempted to use kGoal with my new phone — because my mmold one doesn’t turn on —  I couldn’t even sign in. There was some account error, and they told me to sign up again.

Of course, this would lose any information I had from my previous account, meager as it were. If this problem persists, then it could wipe out a lot of user data between devices.

Also, I’m pretty sure I’m still waiting on an email and can’t even log in soooo =/

3. Shape and Size

Listen, I know that my pubic bone doesn’t run exactly the same as other women. It’s why I don’t need very much of a curve for G-spot stimulation and why the Pure Wand totally didn’t work for me. It’s also why most kegel balls are too damn large and feel pinchy.

Now, you also need to understand the design of the kGoal to understand why it also won’t work for my anatomy. The kGoal looks like a dual stimulator, and the arms are quite flexible from one another with the external part being rather flat.

The insertable portion is coated in essentially a balloon of silicone that expands with air and compresses with force (of your vagina or hand). It feels more similar to the Minna Ola than the Limon.

There’s a very narrow shaft in this, but the head is rounded and very firm beneath the silicone. It is also huge. I mean, it shouldn’t be. I’ve taken larger cocks and toys, but they weren’t rigid.

Minna’s kGoal always hurts going in and it gets stuck behind my pubic bone when I want the damned thing out. I know that Minna tried that damnedest to work with the actual human body, but we’re not all identical.

Unfortunately, I think you’re not going to know whether this works for you until you try it but if you have a similarly pronounced pubic bone as I do, I might advise against the financial and physical risk you’re taking with kGoal.

4. Vibration

I don’t know. They say it’s supposed to be pleasurable. Maybe the pitiful vibration would be better for someone who didn’t feel like the crotch was in a Chinese finger trap/lobster claw/C clamp (choose your metaphor).

You can use the thing for pleasure or for exercise without the app, but it really takes away from the innovation and usefulness if you’re just relying on the vibration.

So once you get it inserted, if you can get comforted and connected, you open up the app and play some games. There are two simple games that requires squeezing to accomplish tasks. “Game” might even be giving them more credit than they deserve. Activities? Regardless, it’s harder than you might think, and it’s great for giving you feedback about how you use your PC muscles.

You set goals for how often you want to work out, and the app will remind you. These are all pretty good features.

But the problem with kGoal is there are so many damn “ifs” to get to that point, and it’s difficult to pinpoint how to minimize them. I cannot in good conscious recommend a toy this costly with so many risks.

Does kGoal sound like something you’d like? Are you okay with a really innovative and costly paperweight? If so, buy it. If not, buy anything else.

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