L1 Love Balls

October 1st, 2013

I don’t care what anyone says. If you can’t tell whether you’ll like a toy after the first use, you’re doing it wrong. In fact, sometimes I know so well how much I hate an item, that I put the review off for ages. That’s what happened with L1 Love Balls, a product from Ovo. If you’ve been paying attention to the airwaves, then you’ll know I really like the designs of these toys, but they seem to be all form and no function.

So I put off the review of these kegel balls because, to put it plainly, I fuckin’ hate them.

Logistically speaking, they’re a mess. So let’s break it down so we can clean it up.

This is a system with different weighted balls that go into a silicone sling. The balls themselves are silver and a purple, translucent plastic. The purple gives an excellent idea of how these work as you can see the inner balls. Of course, you can also see the seams, and this makes them feel a little cheap. Once it’s in the holder, you can’t see them, but I’d rather have a single-piece silicone pair in terms of appearance/construction alone. However, I’d really like not to have to mess with these swappable balls because the stretchy silicone sling is soooo awkward to work with. I really have to pry at it. I don’t know if it’s because of the specific shape of the holder, but the balls are a bitch to get in and out. It’s much easier to do this with the Luna Beads. If you don’t align them perfectly, there are awkward gaps between the balls and the holder. If the holder was simply a round, even band that was a little thinner (exactly like Luna Beads) this wouldn’t be such a problem.

So I just used the lighter purple balls in the kegel exercise the first time I tried the L1 balls. And they fucking hurt. I had one hell of a time trying to get them up past my pubic bone, which is rather pronounced and has caused me to dislike toys (including the kGoal by Minna) so I settled with inserting one and letting the other sort of hang out. Now, this isn’t uncommon. Many people have trouble with kegel balls being simply too large. However, these really aren’t any bigger than the K-balls, which I do like.

L1 Balls and Ophoria K-balls

L1 Balls and Ophoria K-balls

It was just a few minutes before these ones started pinching when I sat, and they pretty much slipped right out as I headed to take them out. I had also become incredibly annoyed by the long silicone cord attached to them. It’s the longest of any kegel balls I’ve ever owned. How long? 5.5 inches. You’ve probably seen dicks longer than that. So long, in fact, that it kept slipping out the sides of my panties. Sexy.

My cat’s trying to chew on it right now. I guess that’s one use for it.

Anyway, I put them away for quite a while in an attempt to work up the gall to put the other balls in and try again. Let me tell you, I was almost ready to give up before I had even swapped the balls out. Ugh. I gave the L1 balls more than a once over this time around, too. I noticed there’s some stupid plastic “gem” thing at the end of the cord, which is simply ridiculous. At the best, you don’t notice them. Otherwise, it’s uncomfortable.

So I pop in the kegel balls with the weightier silver balls in them and experienced the same terrible discomfort. They pressed against my G-spot in a most uncomfortable way. I wanted to get them out of me as soon as possible. So I did.

To be fair, I haven’t regularly used kegel balls in quite some time, so I got out my K-balls to see whether I just hate them all together. I took a comparison photo, so you can see that the sizes are comparable. I slipped the K-balls in, expecting to hate them. I didn’t. They felt fantastic. Having ruled out that I don’t hate all vag balls, I took a closer look at the two pairs to determine what was making me hate them.

There are some serious differences that matter to me:

L1 love balls aren’t straight. The balls come together in a lazy “V” angle. When I try to insert them, they want to go one way, but I need them to go another way. I really need a straight set of balls. Secondly, the flexible connector between the Lv balls is much shorter than that of the K-balls, which also affects how it bends — or doesn’t bend — when inserted. Overall, this leads to an uncomfortable sensation.

Even if it was comfortable and I could stand to wear them for long enough to get any benefit from them. But that’s okay because..

I need to call bullshit on this whole two-sets-of-weights things. It’s all hogwash. It’s pointless. It’s a marketing gimmick. Don’t buy into it. It’s not just that it’s a hassle, it’s also that there’s not really any proof that it does anything. I’m kind of sick of companies coming up with faux features to lure consumers in. Don’t buy into it guys, and don’t buy these kegel balls.


Natural Feminine Personal Spray

August 25th, 2013

Natural Feminine Personal Spray

Natural Feminine Personal Spray

This product may be discontinued, but you can still buy it at Lubezilla.

I didn’t know when I requested to review the Natural Feminine Personal Spray that it was so close to AfterTrace. Blame it on the vague name. However, this does mean that I have two similar products that I can compare, which is useful.

The product description says you can use it for quick “clean” up, but the directions on the bottle say to spray on your body. There’s no indication of removal or actual cleansing; furthermore, the bottle states that it’s perfect for after a shower, so it’s not exactly a cleanser, now is it? However, that’s more semantics than anything else.

According to the description, this will reduce odors, absorb moisture and soothe skin, so there’s nothing you can really complain about there. I can, however, complain about the scent of this spray. While AfterTrace is herbal like all the other SHE Aftercare products, this one smells like fake blueberries. It reminds me of those freeze-dried, overly-sweetened berries you’d get in cereal. It’s really weird for spraying on your body. Now, the scent does fade to a more neutral, sweet/fresh smell after a while, but the initial smell is kind of a turn-off.

This spray also differs in that it’s less fine and wetter than AfterTrace. It doesn’t affect performance in my opinion, but it might not necessarily feel good if you’re already sweaty. I think these products work best when you’re fresh and dry. an ounce of prevention is worth a pound of the cure, right? Like I said in my AfterTrace review, this isn’t going to do much if you’re getting back into sweaty panties and clothes.

I did a quick search for this product to get the ingredients list so I wouldn’t have to type it up, and I found a review stating that the ingredients had discolored someone’s clothing. This is definitely something you’ll want to watch out for; although, I haven’t had that issue yet.

The bottle advertises all natural ingredients like aloe, witch hazel, patchouli, vanilla, lavender and tea tree oil, and the entire list is as follows:

  • Witch Hazel
  • Aloe vera gel
  • Clary Sage Oil
  • Patchouli oil
  • Geranium Oil
  • Vanilla
  • Tea Tree
  • Fragrance
  • Oregano Leaf Extract
  • Thyme Extract
  • Cinnamon Bark Extract
  • Olive Leaf Extract
  • Rosemary Leaf Extract
  • Peppermint Leaf Extract
  • Lavender Flower Extract
  • Goldenseal Root Extract
  • Citrus Medica Limonum
  • Lemon Peel Extract
  • Purified Water

The list is definitely more natural than AfterTrace if that’s your thing. But does it work any better?

I don’t know. Neither products are miracle cures. I feel fresher if I spray it on. They’re good for a quick fix if you have no time to shower, too. However, Natural Feminine Personal Spray seems to be more about making you smell sweet/fresh than reducing odor. The scent sticks around longer. This is okay if you’re a fan of it, but it’s such an odd scent that I can’t imagine everyone will be.

This spray is a little cheaper, though, so it might be worth trying out for that reason alone.

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Dare to be Bare Shave Cream

August 20th, 2013

Dare to be Bare Shave Cream

Dare to be Bare Shave Cream

This product is no longer made.

I probably won’t review a whole lot of shaving creams after this because I’ve tried so many of them. My experience rarely differs to the point where I really prefer one over the other. It usually comes down to a preference of scent and package, and the Dare to be Bare shave cream excels at both. The Skinny dip scent, which I enjoyed with other products, is just as enticing and sweet here. It’s not too strong, and it doesn’t stick with your body, so that could be a con if you’re looking for something that stays with you after you get out of the shower.

And the pump bottle is great. I much prefer pumps to tubes; however, I did have a little trouble getting to twist back into lock position for travel. I just left the pump unlocked and had no unfortunate accidents, so all was good. I like to use a fair amount of product, so I probably use two pumps per leg, but it’s generous. You could get away with fewer thanks to the thickness of this product. I haven’t especially noticed it rinsing away in the water, which is also convenient but not ground-breaking.

This shave cream does do one thing differently from other products, however, and it was something that I noticed immediately. Normally, my legs feel incredibly itchy after I shave. It’s just the front of my shins from the knee down, but it’s almost always a constant. I remedy the itchy scratchies with lotion after I get out of the shower, and I forget all about the problem. For whatever reason, the dare to Be Bare shave cream does not leave me itchy, which is a slight advantage over other shaving products.

I’m not sure if this is because the ingredients differ, but the not-so-short list is as follows:

  • Aqua
  • Citramonium Chloride
  • Cetyl Alcoho
  • Stearyl Alcohol
  • Polyquaternium-7
  • Argania Spinosa (Argan) Oil
  • Cannibis-Sativa (Hemp Seed) Oil
  • Panthenol
  • Cyclomethicone
  • Dimethicone
  • Hexylaurate
  • Isopropyl Palmitate
  • Stearalkonium Chloride
  • PEG-75, Meadowfoam Oil
  • Citric Acid, Disodium EDTA
  • Phenoxyethanol
  • Hydrolized Wheat Protein
  • Hydrolized Wheat Starch
  • Methylchloroisothiazolinone
  • Methylisothiazolinone
  • Phthalate-Free Fragrance

I’m really not sure what the last one is supposed to mean, but the inclusion of silicones and several oils, including hemp seed, help to condition skin. Now, I can’t save I get the perfect irritation-free shave, but I’m not sure this is the fault of this product. I’ve been walking a lot this summer, and my thighs aren’t thin enough not to rub together. So I spray on some Aftershave oil before I go out, and this does several minimize irritation. I haven’t gotten any painful ingrowns or infections, though which is always nice.

I do like the way my legs feel after shaving with this cream. The shave is especially close on my calves and shins, and my skin always feels soft immediately after.

Right now, this is the second-cheapest of all the shaving creams I’ve tried from PinkCherry. System Jo was cheaper, but I really wasn’t impressed by the formula or scent. After having used so many shaving creams, I’d likely buy this one again just because the price point, but I also enjoy all the Skinny Dip scented products from Earthly Body. If you’re looking at your local sex toy shop, you’re probably not going to find this one,


SHE AFterCare: AfterTrace Odor Neutralizer

August 8th, 2013

SHE AFterCare: AfterTrace Odor Neutralizer

SHE AFterCare: AfterTrace Odor Neutralizer

This product has been discontinued.

I figure it’s about time I got around to this review. I’ve now had a chance to try almost all of the products in the SHE Aftercare line, and I generally like them. They are pricey, however, so you’ll probably wondering whether they’re worth the price. I can say, with absolute certainty, that the Aftershave Oil is, but what do I think of the AfterTrace Odor Neutralizer?

This comes in the same 4 fl oz bottle as the aftershave. It has the same pump. It even has a similar scent – very herbal and “natural” to me. I didn’t like it very much when I first tried the aftershave oil, but now I don’t mind. I guess I acclimated.

This is a very thin mist. You don’t even feel that it’s on. I’ve never felt any sensation to indicate it either. The pump works well to cover an area, and I usually pump two or 3 times to cover my thighs and vulva in general. Despite using this quite a bit, there’s barely a dent in the bottle. That’s thanks to how fine the mist is.

Having used AfterTrace, which is supposed to inhibit odors rather than simply covering them up, I’ve gotten a pretty good feel for it. I’ve found that it works better in some situations, namely, when you’re right out of the shower or bath, haven’t sweated yet, and you’re putting on fresh underwear. Preventing unpleasant odors is key.

Because if you realize you’re a little unpleasant after a hard, hot day, and you spray this, it’s just not going to work as well. This is doubly true if you’re getting back into sweat-soaked clothes and underwear because the unpleasant odors will just transfer back to your body.

So when I spray this right after a shower, I do feel fresher for longer but if I forget, the spray alone doesn’t make me feel any better without a change of panties. Now, I’ve got a similar product review going up, and these products mostly differ in ingredients, so I thought I’d take the time to let you know what’s in AfterTrace:

  • Water
  • polysorbate 20
  • comfrey rhizome/root extract
  • saccharomyces ferment
  • oat beta glucan
  • organic aloe
  • arnica Montana flower extract
  • chamomile flower extract
  • lavender extract
  • orange peel oil
  • bergamot fruit oil
  • rosemary leaf oil
  • allantoin
  • caprylyl glycol
  • phenoxyethanol
  • hexylene glycol

Given how many oils there are, this is a pretty thin product. It’s likely due to the fact that the main ingredient is water. The label actually places an asterisk next to ingredients that are natural, and that’s most of them. In fact, many of these extracts and oils are common in massage products and lubes, but I haven’t heard of all of them. As I’m writing this, my Internet connection is down and I can’t check them all out, but I’ll try to remember to do so in the future.

Now, this retails for about $15, which might seem a bit expensive, but I think the bottle will last you quite a while. If you’re unable to shower every 15 minutes during the summer and want to feel fresher longer, I’d give this a try. I’m just not sure it’s a must-have kind of product.



Skinny Dip Bath and Shower Gel

July 15th, 2013

It’s seems like forever ago when I wrote a review for the suntouched candle in skinny dip smell. I still have it, actually, because I’ve had so few opportunities to use it since then. I loved the scent but, honestly, it reminded me of something dreamsicle like. The sweet vanilla was very obvious and I detected hints of citrus, even though the company actually makes products in the dreamsicle scent. Thus, I knew what to expect when I wanted to try the shower gel from TabuToys.

If you’re not so familiar, then you’ll probably be happy to know that these products are all about remaining natural and good for you. Instead of chemicals, you get natural ingredients such as hemp seed, which is the basis of all Earthly Body products as far as I can tell. I’ve tried a few more hemp seed products since I initially used the massage candle, and I think I’m a fan. Among the perks are the following:

  • Paraben free
  • Petroleum free
  • Phthalate free
  • Cruelty free
  • Vegan

Honestly, I’ll put just about anything on my body as long as it smells good. When it comes to shower gels, a nice lather is also important. The Skinny Dip bath & shower gel by Earthly Body does absolutely both. Now, if you were just taking a sniff at the bottle on the shelf of a store, you might be a little disappointed. You can’t smell much in the bottle. You have to actually put it on your body and let it lather up. Then, the sweet vanilla scent wafts to your nose. I find the smell of the body wash is a little more gentle, less aggressive than the candle. If you want something that’s more lightly scented, this might be the product for you.

It’s also great at lathering. The foam is big and fluffy and fun. Is that a weird way to describe it? I like big, fluffy shower gels. I like to feel the silky foam on my body, and this body wash delivers in that department. It feels luxurious. And I get clean, so that’s awesome.

The bottle is a little smaller but the benefit of this is that the opening is also smaller, so you don’t tend to squeeze out as much product at once, and you really don’t need to with the amount of lather that you get.

The ingredients such as hemp seed lend to moisturizing, but a good lotion or moisturizer after your shower is probably best if you have rather dry skin. Mine’s not, especially in summer time. Earthly Body makes a hand and body lotion in the same scent for that. Other products in the line include body mist, a combination massage candle and body butter and massage oil.

Now, it’s not perfect. For example, it’s a little rough on this sunburn that I’ve managed to give myself, so you may want to pass it up if you’re super sensitive or have a skin condition that soaps tend to irritate. It’s also slippery. I forget this because I only have a shower, but you could kill yourself in your tub if you have nothing to stop skidding. That’s really just the way it is with any body washes. It’d be cool if they had a bar soap, but body wash doesn’t leave residue like that.

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SHE AfterCare: AfterShave Oil

July 1st, 2013

Natural Intimate AfterShave Oil

Natural Intimate AfterShave Oil

This product has been discontinued.

It’s summer. I’m shaving my legs and thighs and bikini area frequently because I have to wear shorts. Or nothing at all. But shorts when I leave the house. I walk everywhere, too. You need to know that this results in some awful after-shaving rash. It’s not razor burn, nor do I have ingrowns most of the time. The sensitive skin on my inner thighs just can’t deal with the friction and chafing caused by the heat and movement. I know I’m not alone with this.

At first, I thought that a product like shaving cream alone would help. It does help, but not nearly enough. So, I need a product to use after shaving, too. In the past, I’ve used products from the drug stores. I’ve sprayed myself with Coochy Aftershave spray, but it just wasn’t enough. It was a thin layer that seemed like it existed to provide relief after the pain. What the hell is the point in that? I need something to prevent the rash and discomfort in addition to soothing it.

This AfterShave oil is it. Now, this line of product is created by Sexual Health Enthusiasts, which also makes Afterglow wipes. There are four products in the lineup, including a feminine wash and another that I’ll review shortly. Unfortunately, the markup at $20 seems high. However, it is the best product I’ve used for my sensitive inner thighs after shaving. Period. If you don’t experience the irritation that’s so bad you can’t sleep, this isn’t something you need. It’s something I might club you over the head with a stainless steel dildo for, though.

Use is as simple as spraying on after I shave. After a fresh shave, I might spray twice in a day. The instructions say to rub it in but since rubbing is part of my problem, I only rub it in if I’m using the aftershave oil on other places, but my thighs will do the rubbing in right for me. The base of this is silicone, so it’s pretty much lube for your shaved skin. IF you don’t rub it in, it’s going to feel heavy and wet. However, this is actually ideal for me. You might consider it before going for a walk or a run or anything where friction is an issue. I can’t help but wonder if silicone-based lube would work in a similar fashion.

I usually spray twice on each thigh. I’ve had this bottle about a week and made a little dent, but I’ll use it much less frequently when it cools down and I can slip back into jeans. Plus, I only use it daily for the next two days or so after a shave. If you have to shave less frequently, the 4-ounce bottle will definitely last you longer. I still think it’s worth it.

This spray oil has an abundance of ingredients that also sooth and soften. The ingredients list is really much longer than your typical silicone lube:

Isopropyl Myristate

  • Cyclomethicone
  • Dimethicone
  • Argania Spinosa Kernel Oil
  • Chamomile Oil
  • Salicylic Acid
  • Aloe Barbadensis Leaf Extract
  • Mineral Oil
  • Meadowfoam Seed Oil
  • Crambe Abyssinica Seed Oil
  • Vitamin E
  • Retyinyl Palmitate
  • Squalane
  • Bergamot Fruit Oil
  • Rosemary Leaf Oil
  • Orange Peel Oil
  • Phenoxyethanol

All in all, the list is pretty natural. Almost all of them are intended to moisturize or soothe your skin. You’ll notice Vitamin E alongside chamomile, for example. However, you’ll want to take notice if you’ve got sensitivities to mineral oil. Of note is Salicylic Acid, which you’ll usually find in acne products. This could be a boon to you if you break out in the places where you tend to shave.

Having used this for months, maybe years, I’ve found no negative effects from any of the ingredients. Nor does it stain my clothes. The scent is light and definitely plant-like. It’s not something sweet that I love, but I don’t mind it at all. It’s clean and fades quickly. It’s similar to the AfterTrace Odor Neutralizer. I cannot imagine anyone taking offense to this.



Crazy Girl Diva Dust

March 18th, 2012

Crazy Girl Diva Dust

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You can no longer buy this product.

The last of the bath and body items I received from Classic Erotica was the Crazy Girl Diva Dust. Like the other items I reviewed, these all focus on sensuality that is conducive to sexuality. Admittedly, body dust isn’t something I would necessarily pick out for myself. I’ve never really bronzed and I don’t always want to be full of glitter. However, it’s something I can see myself occasionally using, now that I’ve had the chance to try it out.The Crazy Girl Diva Dust is not only a shimmery dust but it’s flavored as well. Anything that gets me a lick is a-okay in my book.

Like the other Crazy Girl products, this one is paraben-free, sugar-free, sulfate-free and not tested on animals. If you are on some sort of anti-sugar diet, then licking this off your lover won’t hurt you. According to the manufacturer’s description, this little tub of powder has a lot of powers:

Base of cornstarch, talc and mica for softness plus an even tone to skin upon application. Vitamin C antioxidant helps in collagen production, revitalizes improves skin tone and texture. Aloe Vera Leaf Extract skin soothing, moisturizing agent. Sexy sparkle and shine to accentuate your best assets. Light body shimmer powder designed to give skin a sensual sparkle and glow.

There are some known dangers to inhaling talcum powder, and I do believe that proponents can point out other potential dangers. However, for my infrequent use, this isn’t something that bothers me. I can’t say that this product improves my skin tone or make it softer. It’s already soft enough when I apply it, right out of the shower. What I can say that it does it adds a hint of flavor and a lot of sparkle.

Crazy Girl Diva Dust

The tub has a screw-off cap and, inside sits a powder puff over the powdered-sugar style container. The small holes allow you to shake the container to apply the product to the puff itself. You can shake off excess product back into the container. There was a sticker seal over the holes when I first received the body dust, so it’s not messy when you first buy it. On the puff, the dust has a hint of color. They call it gold but it’s a shimmery tan. Really, I can only see the glitter on my skin, so I think that this would work on any skin tone, really. The shimmer is super noticeable, however. It’s probably best for wearing at night.

The light sweet taste is accompanied by a similar scent. It’s pleasant but a bit generic. There’s no syrup-y aftertaste/aftersmell, though. The smell isn’t really strong enough to notice over other scented products. I wouldn’t mind tasting it on someone, and the glitter is a good indicator to “lick here.”

I did apply some of this to my sensitive inner thighs after shaving to see if it might help with irritation that I sometimes experience. I don’t know if it helped, but it didn’t hurt.

I’m feeling pretty favorable about this product. It’s light, it’s sweet, it shimmers. It is something I would save for specific occasions, however. I can’t see myself running out any time soon. On the plus side, it’s far cheaper than the honey dusts by Shunga or Kama Sutra, so it’s a nice alternative for someone who wants just a bit of flavored product at a lower price.