A Toy A Day #1: Laya Spot

September 2nd, 2016

I recently took a look at my nightstand and realized that there were dozens of toys that I neglect. Not only should I use them more, but I should use them at all. Even my favorites have been collecting dust as of late. More often than not, I use toys only to review them and stick to manual stimulation when I want to get off because it’s quicker and more convenient.

There’s nothing wrong with this per se, but I do feel as though my sexuality isn’t completely integrated with the rest of my life lately. And it’s not just because I am perpetually single.

Regardless, I can change the situation with my sex toys. So as summer winds down, batteries will be recharged, and I will work my way through the draw. I expect to remember how much I loved some toys, be disappointed with those that I have grown apart from and be surprised by toys that has finally won me over.

I plan to detail this attempt in a little project called A Toy A Day.


Layaspot, Desire clitoral vibe and Siri 2

Layaspot, Desire clitoral vibe and Siri 2

There have been a number of toys that I liked or even loved while my fellow bloggers were lukewarm or even less satisfied with them. Fun Factory’s Laya Spot was perhaps the fist. I enjoyed it so much that I powered past a disgusting BO-like smell right out of the packaging. And when my first one died after years of steady use, I replaced it.

Some months ago, the batteries in my Laya Spot died. It’s one of the few toys that I keep around that doesn’t have an internal battery and one of select few that runs on AAA batteries. Laya Spot’s strengths were never the vibrations. They’re lackluster and toward the buzzy end of the spectrum, which I don’t necessarily love.

No, it’s always been the shape of the Laya Spot that does it for me, so it’s no surprise that after switching to fresh batteries, I was able to get off within 60 seconds. Using the Laya Spot feels good, not utilitarian. And it’s all due to the shape. That drastic angled with the rounded tip has always nestled between my labia like it belongs that.

Laya Spot is also one of the few clitoral toys I have that’s rigid, and I cannot help but think this has something to do with why the shape works well for me. Not only is it pronounced, but I can easily achieve pressure thanks to the material. Fun Factory described it as Elastomed, but it feels like a slick-ish plastic to me, so movement is easy.

Throughout my years of using Laya Spot, I’ve used it over my underwear and directly against my skin. If I’m lazy and perhaps haven’t had time to clean it, I’ll use my underwear as a totally not effective barrier. But because it’s the shape and not the vibrations that I love, I rarely use it directly against my skin.

Now that there are fresh batteries in my Laya Spot, I’m sure I’ll find myself reaching for it in the dark of night when I half wake up, aroused and delirious.

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The Girls Bestie Vibe

November 10th, 2014

reviewer’s remorse

noun

1.

overwhelming regret upon using or opening a sex toy for the first time and knowing instantaneously that there’s no way you can like it — and you can’t even send it back for a refund because it was free!

2.

theme of this post

Let’s set the stage shall we? I am so excited for new brands that sometimes I let my excitement get the best of me. I forget to check all-important stats such as length or girth or, God forbid, power source! of a toy. Or I forget that I really don’t like clitoral stimulators shaped like bunny ears. You can guess which one I am guilty of this time.

Yes, the bestie has silly bunny ears. Yes, the vibrations are incredibly buzzy, so those ears wind up.. offending my clit. It’s not a powerful barrage. It’s not over-stimulating. It’s simply the wrong kind of stimulation. My clit is offended, okay?

If you like bunny ears fluttering over your clit, then maybe yours won’t be offended, but I’m pretty terrible at guessing these things.

Bestie’s charging base reminds me a lot of the ones that comes with the Form 3 and Form 3. The rounded butt sits in it. However, there’s actually a plug on the base that inserts into the port. I slightly prefer this because it means that it won’t fall off my nightstand and go rolling across the floor. Or that my asshole cats can’t run off with it like they’ve been doing with my Yooo.

Anyway, A green light flashes while it charges. The soft silicone area around the charging port lights up blue when it’s in use, but the button doesn’t light up. It’s raised and embossed, so you won’t have any issues finding it.

The vibrations are both incredibly buzzy and whiny, and Bestie provides you with three incredibly buzzy levels of steady vibes in case you weren’t sure how offended your clit would be to start with. There’s a buzz-buuzzz mode,  and a pulsation that sounds like it’s an alien trying to communicate with us and a fast pulsation leading up to a slower pulse. The laughable vibrations aren’t enough to make these feel good, however. Plus, the weird noise is sooo distracting. It’s not loud, but it’s at a specific pitch that makes me want to punch someone in the junk.

I guess I think it’s cool that Vibratex has moved away from shitty toys like the Rabbit Habit, of which I broke two when I was 18, and to rechargeable silicone toys. But these are only splashproof and far overpriced for vibrations that literally feel on bar with watch-battery-powered bullets to me. Most of their battery-powered toys rely on AAAs, which I never ever like. When compared to the Magic Wand Original, which they know make, it’s obvious these toys represent the extremes with no middle ground. Boo!

And while Amie might have been a better shape for me — it’s similar to the Minna Limon — I’m sure I would still find myself underwhelmed by the power. The Limon is just $29 more. It’s expensive but well worth it in my opinion. If you’re looking for something under $100, the We-Vibe Tango at $80 is your best bet. I haven’t used the newest model, but I still rely heavily on my original Tango. I still fucking LOVE my Siri, and the Leaf Spirit also costs less than $100 at Good Vibes.

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Ovo T1 Vibrator

August 13th, 2013

I’m always excited when I learn of new toy brands. It was no exception with Ovo, a European country that uses these wonderful shades of purple that I cannot resist. Yes, I know. You all hate purple. I fucking love it. Deal with it.

They have so many toys that it’s almost impossible to tell them apart, actually. I compared the various internal and clitoral vibes and decided that I’d go for one of the “lay on” style. Ovo makes both battery-powered and rechargeable vibes, but Pinkcherry currently only carries the battery-powered style, so I opted for the T1.

I knew it would be a tiny toy, but this thing is just minuscule in my hand. Yes, even my tiny, child-like hands. For comparison., here’s the toy next to Siri and Layaspot. Now, it’s so small that you almost have to wonder how they can fit a battery and a motor in there. My best guess? They didn’t – not really.

Ovo uses a single AAA, which should have warned me in the beginning. I don’t generally like toys that use 2 AAAs, so this would be underpowered for me, of course. Now, it’s better than any watch battery-powered vibe, yes. In fact, its output surprised me, but you have to get the battery in there, and that’s just a trial.

I suppose the design of this vibe is intended for you to pinch the backside with your middle finger and thumb, leaving your index finger to operate it. I always press down on the nose of the toy, so this is lost on me. However, there’s a plastic panel on the underside of this toy that you’re supposed to remove to inert the battery. A little dimple lets me know that this is the case, but you’re going to need the power of Christ to compel it open. Seriously. It’s a bitch. Unless you’re Wolverine, you fingernails will break before you get this open. Every time I’ve opened the battery pack, I’ve had to wedge something in there to do this. The thing that you wedge in there has to be pretty tiny, however. Like a metal nail file. Keys are too big. The rest of the underside of the toy is silicone, while the top if velvety plastic.

And the battery cover definitely isn’t waterproof or even splash proof. I gave it a normal washing, and when I popped off the cover, a bunch of water dripped out. This is a clusterfuck of terrible. Even if I loved this toy, I would likely forget about it after the battery died the first time.

So, once you get the battery in the damned thing, there’s a tiny plastic button to push. Yes, it’s got haptic feedback. No, I don’t like it. The button is so small that my fingertip takes up almost the whole thing. What do I want? I don’t know. Anything else. Two buttons. A bigger button. Something, anything that isn’t just designed to be form over function.

I’d like to point out that sticking sharp objects against plastic vibes tends to, you know, scratch the fuck out of them. Man, I almost feel like I’m writing a review for the original iPhone. “Looks great, for 5 minutes.” And, really, all the toys in this line are aesthetically appealing to me, but I just don’t think that’s enough. They’ve got to get me off. Like, hello? That’s the point, guys.

It’s a shame that the power output of this is so meager because I do like the shape. The way that it swoops out under the back of the toy creates a greater angle that better cups my mons, like the Layaspot. I can get a bit more pressure with this vibe than I can with Siri.

Layaspot, Siri and Ovo

At about 1 inch tall and 3 inches long, the tiny toy fits in my panties, and it’s certainly a better option for that type of stimulation than the ridiculous bullets you get with “vibrating panties.” The shape is likely unobtrusive enough to use during partner sex, but I haven’t tried it that way. You can see from my photo that this is smaller than Layaspot and Siri; although, it’s not shiny like it looks in the photo. My flash kept washing it out.

Do I really like anything about this toy? Yes. Sure, the plastic has a satin finish, and the particular shade of purple – metallic violet, they call it – really grabs me. But this isn’t exactly seamless, especially around the battery pack. The packaging indicates luxury without being bulky or hard to recycle. This T1 comes in a little box and sits snugly in a foam insert. There’s a cutout where the manual and guide sit vertically. These are tiny little books are about 1” square. It’s compact and a great use of space, but it’s not a saving grace.

So my verdict? This is not a toy worth the suggested price. PinkCherry $28 price tag is certainly more fair, but I would pass on all the Ovo vibes with a similar power source. Ovo has really underwhelmed me. I guess the tiny size indicates that this company has failed to look at the big picture.

 

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Body and Soul Connection Vibrator

August 18th, 2012

This vibe either looks like the eyeball guy from Aah! Real Monsters or a laser robot from the video game Portal. The latter is exactly why I requested to review it, even though another model in the line up looks slightly more turret-like. Unfortunately, all the reasons that would have caused me to pass up this sex toy are exactly the reasons I should have.

It took me less than thirty seconds to realize this, honestly. The vibrations, powered by 2AAA batteries are super buzzy. Although it’s easy enough to switch through them with the single button, there’s not much difference between any of the settings, except for the horrible whine that I could hear over music that I was listening to at the moment. This was common in Lelo’s old toys, but it bugs me whether a toy costs less than $50 or more than $100.

The vibrations are so buzzy that I wouldn’t be surprised if someone told me this was powered by watch batteries. In fact, my body simply stopped being able to feel the vibrations after a few seconds. I kid you not. While the rabbit-ear-like attachments are flexible and rounded in a way that surrounds the clitoris nicely, but the depth of the vibrations is simply too high-pitched to to anything. Honestly, I think I might have liked this a bit more, if the vibrations had been deeper. I’m not surprised that they weren’t. Some folks would suggest that this is “Great for newbies”, but I just can’t see how this vibe is all that good for anyone. Does a person exist who is really, honestly that sensitive?!

Still, while I don’t normally like fluttering rabbit ears, the arms on this guy are a little less flexible. They don’t flop back and forth, and they’re wider, so they really hug my clit in a way that could be effective. I usually like pressure, though, and this design really doesn’t offer that. However, I do like that the single push-button works well when you turn the toy around. There’s technically two ways you can hold this flat against your body/around your clit, and this lets you find the best position for the button.

Connection's annoying battery packThis toy is kind of like the less awesome version of the Form 2, which I already didn’t like and have recently swapped away. The plastic base is round, and this toy is bigger so it’s easier for me to hold. However, you have to twist the bottom directly off from the top to insert the (useless) batteries. The whole thing is awkward, and it uses that quarter-twist style that I always have trouble lining up. Plus, the batteries sit in there vertically, without much support. They fall out pretty easily. Obnoxious, dudes.

At least Jimmyjane got the quality down. The Connection has soft silicone up top and shiny plastic on the bottom, and it’s not seamless in the least. In fact, there’s a visible line between the two portions of the toy, and it looks like a gout line full of gunk. Upon closer inspection, it’s not filled with gunk–thank God!–it’s just that the cut of the plastic is super sloppy. This toy feels low-quality now matter how you cut it.

Given the vibrations and the poor quality, I’m surprised by the MSRP. Luckily, sellers on Amazon offer this for less than half. I don’t know if I’d even spend $25 on this, but that’s a smaller hit to your wallet, if you’re convinced this will work for you.

Am I surprised though? Eh, not really. I almost always need something that uses AAs. The shape here does have some redeeming qualities, but it can’t overshadow all the things that bother me about the Body & Soul Connection.

CEN Sexpert

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Form 2

June 7th, 2011

Form 2

Form 2
$145 from Babeland

Remember how whiny I was a while back about how I’d never tried a Jimmyjane vibrator? Yea, it wasn’t pleasant. Luckily, I have now had the opportunity. My experience has been a bit.. atypical, I think, so I have some interesting insights to share with you, dear reader.

Now, in case you forgot, the Form 2 is a rabbit shaped vibrator but it’s just the head with two ears that have separate motors. The ears, one would probably guess, are ideal for surrounding the clit or nipples or for passing on either side of the labia or.. an ear? Point is, while most people are going to head south with the Form 2, it does offer some versatility.. which is probably good because I really just don’t like it for clitoral stimulation. I tend to use toys in the general area of my clit, pressed to my pubic bone. It’s about pressure and indirect stimulation for me but it doesn’t get more direct than the Form 2–and it’s on both sides. AAAH! This totally negates the fact that the vibrations are shallow and buzzy, although concentrated.

My personal quirks aside, this just may be better suited to those of you who like direct stimulation from multiple angles. If you’re the type who can lay a vibe against your clit and eventually get off, more or less without any effort, maybe the Form 2 is for you. Unfortunately, I’m not you. My other personal complaint is that the ridiculous buzzyness of this vibrator quickly “numbs” me. Now, I don’t mean numb in the “woe is me, I used a vibrator and I’ll never get off from sex again” type way, so if you’re the anti-woman/masturbation/pleasure/intelligence type who believes that, STFU. No, I mean, that the vibrations are so shallow that my body literally cannot feel them after a while so I turn it up and up and up and eventually I’ve just spent half an hour with a toy that has absolutely not chance of getting me off and what am I doing?

I’m getting to know the toy for review, I guess. At least it’s easy to use. There’s a plus and minus button for controlling the vibration and another button with a squiggly line for moving between the different modes. Jimmyjane has included vibration and pulsation and describes them with an interesting infographic yet, because the buzzyness isn’t a good foundation for effective pulsation.

So I was all set to write this review and say, you know, this is an interesting toy and it seems made well enough.. When it turned itself on, vibrated itself right out of its charging base, fell on my bathroom floor and broke. Scared the crap out of my cats, too.

On the bright side, Jimmyjane was super quick about responding to my issue and sent me out a replacement Form 2 STAT! I just returned the broken one, via prepaid shipping, today. I’m not having any issues with the new one. I’m a little hesitant to keep it in its charging base, should the same thing occur with my replacement, and also because the cats like to nom silicone. Otherwise, I like the charging base. it’s convenient and the design uses a variety of flashing and steady lights to indicate charging and battery status. With the Form 2, you know exactly how much of a charge is left when you lift it from the base. That’s handy.

Because it uses a charging system with contact points–there’s a metal “disc” on the bottom of the toy that contacts the base–it’s waterproof. This makes cleaning super easy and you could take your Form 2 in the shower. That’s not generally my preference as the water tends to make vibrations seemed subdued.

Other points of note include:

  • Form 2 is fairly quiet. Not as quiet as Siri but acceptable enough.
  • The manufacturing seems pretty high quality. The toy feels solid, it’s pretty seamless.
  • The silicone collects dust and smudges like crazy. Arg.
  • A lot of people have complained about some sort of feature/glitch. I haven’t run into it because I don’t spend a lot of time with toys that aren’t going to get me off.
  • Although I’m hoping my specific issues were self-contained, it seemed like Jimmyjane vibrators–especially those in the Form line up–just tend to be glitchy as all get out.

I guess we’ll have to see how I feel about Form 2 in the future.

Jimmyjane Form 2 at Babeland

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Sweetheart I Rub My Duckie

March 7th, 2011

I have a soft spot for the duckie vibrators. Time and again, they have proved to be not quite as functional as they are novel but I keep requesting them, anyway.

Thus, I am now the owner of an adorable Sweetheart I Rub My Duckie. Like the Santa duckie I already possessed, this one is travel sized and comes in a plastic heart. The duckie sits on a stand, against a pink background and she looks super glamorous through the clear plastic in front. A bow attaches to loops at the top of the plastic but you can pop the duckie out by removing the tape along the side.

The duckie has fashionable accessories: a feather boa that I think my cats have already stolen (removable because who wants to get it all yucky during play?). She is pristine in white/light cream with light teal eyes that are definitely feminine. She’s sort of like a monochrome version of the Paris Duckie, which I also own. There’s a tiny rhinestone jewel on her bill that adds to the feminine allure.

This particular duckie was stubborn when it came time to insert batteries, though. The cover is a piece of plastic (the entire thing is molded plastic, actually) that you push into place and turn to lock (the reverse opens it). A screw driver is handy (or fingernails of steel) but the hard plastic on mine seems to be slightly misshapen, making the entire process a pain in the ass. Unfortunately, all my hard work was for naught because my duckie didn’t work anyway. )= When I insert the battery (a single AAA), replace the battery cover and turn the dial from Off to On, nothing happens. Nada. At all.

Luckily for me, I enjoy the duckies for their aesthetic appeal and I already own a similar model so I am familiar with their vibration strength and operation. The small size means you’ll probably rely on the tail or sides, the broadest part, for pressure but the face and beak offer some pinpoint stimulation (all external, I don’t even know how you’d go about inserting this!). All the engraved text on the bottom makes me hesitant to use. I would really not have to clean off lubes and liquids from the tiny cracks and crevices.

Although the knob would indicate that the vibrations are adjustable, this is actually a one-speed toy. Considering how difficult it can be to turn the little knob, you’d think they would go with a push buttoncontrol (or belly squeeze, as with the larger duckies). I was able to get off when I used the Sweetheart Duckie’s Santa cousin but it’s not the type of toy I default to. The vibrations, as I recall, as relatively strong for the size but I’ll take a AA-powered toy over this, any day. In addition to this, the duckies do not tend to be all that quiet so close your door, put on some music and run the bath in the background, just to be careful.

To add to my disappointment, the Sweetheart Duckie does not float upright in water. Rather, she flops right over onto her side or back. After testing this out, I was further disappointed to find that water had found its way into the battery compartment. Even if the duckie had worked, I wouldn’t expect it to work for long, after several uses in the water or cleanings. But I’m not surprised because all of my duckies really did have a cheap feel to them when it comes to quality of craftsmanship.

tl,dr; The Sweetheart Duckie is cute, especially in her packaging, but maybe she should stay there because quality of these products is really hit and miss and you can find a decent toy for a comparable price without all the noise.

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Ultimate Satisfier

June 24th, 2010

I continue my quest for the perfect dual stimulator and a toy with the word “Ultimate” in its name ought to be pretty close, don’t you think? The Ultimate Satisfier adds a handle to the mix, something that many other vibrators lack. There is an extremely similar toy by PHS International with the exact same clitoral stimulator and handle. However, the insertable portion is a copy of the shaft of the Fun Factory Curve. I enjoyed the Curve and wasn’t so sure the ridges on the Ultimate Satisfier would be as pleasurable because of my recent experience with some ridges.

I’ve reviewed many similar sex toys so I thought I’d sum it up a little quicker than usual.

The Pros:

  • This toy is probably the best fit I’ve found for my anatomy, yet. The curve between the internal and external portions nearly hugs my pubic bone. It’s almost perfectly curved/angled.
  • The clitoral stimulator is 1.5″ in length, long enough to actually reach my clit.
  • The ridges on the shaft give the impression of some girth while the diameter is only 1.19″.
  • It’s made of hygienic, non-porous silicone (I flame tested) and the insertable portion is firm enough for consistent G-spot stimulation and possibly some thrusting.
  • The handle is more maneuverable than it appears.
  • The push-button, super long bullet vibrator has multiple speeds and relies on a standard AAA battery rather than watch batteries. You can actually feel the difference between the levels, too.
  • The toy is waterproof and the bullet has a prominent O-ring next to the battery cap.
  • It costs less than $25.

But there’s a few cons, too:

  • I couldn’t necessarily feel the ridges on the insertable portion.
  • The clitoral stimulator is thinner and more flexible to me the pressure I like.
  • The handle, while useful for G-spot stimulation, didn’t work quite so well for clitoral stimulation.
  • The vibrations are hard to feel externally because 1 AAA battery just does not provide a lot of power. The vibrations are also quite buzzy, rather than deep.
  • The shaft does not have much of a curve so I imagine it just won’t reach all G-spots.
  • Because the long bullet extends into the internal shaft, you can’t bend it to reach any particular spot. This was actually a little uncomfortable/painful on some occasions.
  • The silicone is the shiny/sticky sort. Water-based lube is probably a “must” for many people.
  • There is a visible and tangible-to-the-finger seam that runs around the entire toy.

Everything else:

Because this vibrator “fits” so well, it has the potential to be a hands-fee toy. Of course, your range of motion and use will be limited with the handle sticking out. It’s versatile enough to use for vaginal/perineum stimulation and can be inserted anally as well, because the shape will prevent it from getting lost.

While the Ultimate Satisfier is really close to what I need, it’s not quite the ultimate toy to satisfy me. The composition of silicone is kind of.. strange. I don’t think I’ve used any other toy with this shiny and dense silicone. It doesn’t feel as nice as velvety silicone that I’m used to.

It worked well enough internally but the clitoral stimulator just didn’t have enough pressure for it to be a true dual stimulator. I already own several toys that are just as, if not more, successful at making me squirt but that doesn’t mean the Ultimate Satisfier won’t work well for someone who has a more sensitive clit.

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